I don’t plow

November 3, 2016
krauserpua

“I don’t plough” I say to my friend after letting a girl walk away after just thirty seconds of chat. “Waste of time”

A bit later I’m talking to a different girl. She tells me she’s in a hurry for the train home. I keep talking and tell her to get the next train. I’m much more interesting, I tell her, and what’s the point of rushing home to watch TV all night when the most interesting and charismatic man she’ll ever meet is inviting her for a drink right now? She seems indecisive, clearly weighing up the two options.

“But I have a boyfriend” she protests.
“I don’t care. I’m not the boyfriend type” I reply. “Look, there’s a nice bar over there. Let’s get a quick drink. Come on.”

She dances side-to-side awkwardly and I can almost hear Joe Strummer singing Should I Stay Or Should I Go.

“I’m sure you love your boyfriend. That’s great. You can get married, buy a house and have lots of beautiful children. But right now, I like you and you like me. Let’s go.”

She relents and joins me on the instant date. So, do I fuck this girl or not? Who knows, who cares. The point is why did “I don’t plow” became “I just plowed”?

Would you plow this?

Would you plow this?

I don’t think about technique in set anymore [1]. I trust the years of practice to have drilled my muscle memory to do everything right or at least close enough to right that fine-tuning doesn’t matter. Now I’m just looking for answers to the key questions, the main one is this: Does she fancy me?

That’s the single most important success factor in chatting up a girl. There has to be some attraction there. It doesn’t need to be a lot, but she has to have some. Often you can take your time in the set (be it the street or a bar) and let a girl gradually warm to you and then go for the number regardless. However, sometimes circumstances require you to make a decision about whether to cut your losses or to go all-in.

Instant dates are an obvious example – it only takes a minute to take a number but idates can stretch on from twenty minutes to seven hours. Suddenly there’s a massive time investment in walking her off rather than taking a number. That’s a decision to make carefully and I explain exactly how in Daygame Mastery.

Plowing is another special case. This is because unsuccessful plowing can really fuck up your vibe and frame. If you do it too much you’ll look and feel like a pussy beggar. Girls will feel awkward and it’ll sour your sets. Your body language and eye contact will become needy, carrying over into all your future sets. Conversely, we’ve all had times when a girl initially protests but we end up fucking her. Nobody wants to leave money on the table. So, what to do?

Put that back on the table, bitch

Put that back on the table, bitch

For me it’s simple – I ask myself does she fancy me? If she does, I’ll plow and I’ll argue the toss. So long as she fancies you, you avoid the main pitfalls of over-plowing. She won’t feel awkward because the mutually-understood context is of course you’re going to try and she’s pleasantly receptive precisely because she likes you and thus enjoys your show of interest. You don’t feel like a pussy beggar because you’re not plowing every girl, just the ones whom your calibration directs you to. Chasing high-probability leads is hardly begging.

Additionally, once you start arguing the toss you are free to engage in very overt fourth-wall chat which makes the set even more entertaining for you both.

“Look, I can already see your future. You’re nervous now and you’ll run away, jump on that train. And I’m telling you – later tonight, you’ll facepalm. How could I be so stupid you’ll tell yourself. I was talking to literally the most handsome and charming man I’ve met in my whole life but I ran home to watch House Of Cards. This could be the biggest mistake of your life.”

“My mother says I’m special. Don’t you agree? Look at the firm angle of my jawline, the cheerful spark in my eyes. This is what charisma looks like.”

So how do you know if she fancies you? I think existing PUA literature has that covered. The big ones for street game are:

  • a flash in her eyes that you feel as electricity
  • wide eyes and big smile
  • she lets you get close
  • she lets you touch her

[1] Because I’m so awesome at street game

If you thought this was specific, relevant and helpful to improving your daygame, then you might like my book. It’s basically the best thing in the world.

9 Comments

  1. Someone should send this to RSD, pronto.

  2. I don’t comment.

  3. Awesome. That’s smart plowing. Feels more like giving value to the set instead of taking. Thanks for the thoughts!

  4. Mick Jones sang lead vocal on Should I Stay Or Should I Go.

  5. @Rivelino, does this sound like anyone we know?

    >Plowing is another special case. This is because unsuccessful plowing can really fuck up your vibe and frame. If you do it too much you’ll look and feel like a pussy beggar. Girls will feel awkward and it’ll sour your sets. Your body language and eye contact will become needy, carrying over into all your future sets.

    This is what Yohami is hearing when we say “daygame.” He thinks it’s all a plow session.

    I like this quote, as Krauser is specifically using the frames concept to explain this.

    >> For me it’s simple – I ask myself does she fancy me? If she does, I’ll plow and I’ll argue the toss. So long as she fancies you, you avoid the main pitfalls of over-plowing. She won’t feel awkward because the mutually-understood context is of course you’re going to try and she’s pleasantly receptive precisely because she likes you and thus enjoys your show of interest. You don’t feel like a pussy beggar because you’re not plowing every girl, just the ones whom your calibration directs you to. Chasing high-probability leads is hardly begging.

    And this is the bit that Yohami would warm up to. I of course like it, because of the “calibration” piece, like my post on K’s “Extreme Social Savvy” concept. Yohami would hate the word “chasing,” but he would agree that engaging “high probability” is not “madness.” [Yohami is a smart writer but he seems to have a straw man caricature of what daygame is. K.]

  6. Hi K. I have finally read all your blog plus some of your books. I have just completed my first year of DG and done about 1200 approaches. Not the lays I was hoping for, but I have a pretty full dating life and can see the incremental improvements. Your content as been the most helpful I have found. I too am INTJ. I enjoy living my life in my head and only enjoy spending a few hours a day with others.

    Your perspectives of inner game, reality weaving, vibe, approach and dating style have resonated with me. Your style is the most efficient and effective for my personality. This last post reflects that efficiency. I am 41, average looking, 5/6, and cold approaching 25 year old 7/8’s in Brisbane, Australia. I’m far from special here and more often than not, they’re just not into me. It took me a while for my ego to accept this fact, as it would rather listen to the PUA marketing speak that any man can get any woman.

    My social calibration and filtering tactics I have learnt from you, now allow me to know if there is a chance of a future date, within 30-60 seconds. This allows me to use my limited resources, tolerance to other humans, in the most efficient way possible. I get really tired after 2-3 hours of DG, I need to use that time efficiently and that does not allow for idle chit-chat with women who don’t fancy me. But if I see a glimmer in their eye or a demure smile – I plow. [It sounds like you’re going to do well. Thanks and good luck. K.]

  7. Need you back on Twitter, Nick.
    If you open a new account post the name here.

  8. Pingback: Daygame Mantras (part 2) - tddaygame

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