The harsh reality of daygame is most men will never get it. That’s partly because most daygamers are an adversarially-selected bunch of weirdos (as indeed I was when I began) but mostly because it’s just an enormous ask:
Start talking to a hot young girl, who doesn’t know you, and then fuck her with nothing more than your aesthetic and charisma.
To pull that off consistently on girls younger and hotter than you is basically a super power. I’m surprised top players aren’t asked to be in the next X-Men. So while I was sitting in a cafe with Tom looking out over a nice FSU plaza, we reflected on a simple question: why aren’t more men able to pull this off?
I see all the hot girls walking around and I know that with a bit of effort I can get some of them. So that’s exactly what I do. What’s stopping all the other men doing the same? Why is it that despite hundreds of bootcamps, one-on-ones, seminars and at least a few thousand men going through the London Daygame mill I can literally count on my hands how many are good?
There are invisible barriers to daygame that aren’t mere technique and will be imperceptible to everyone below the intermediate (one lay a month from hard graft) level. These are the things that are no longer in my reality but used to be like a forcefield holding me back.
1. Sting of rejection
A girl’s reaction shouldn’t affect your sense of self. When she’s walking down the street with her headphones on and daydreaming of her next pair of shoes she’s not thinking of meeting men. Opening her well will usually shock her out of this but there will always be girls who brush you off and keep walking. Assuming she stops there’ll be girls who give you a “what do you want?” look and you can’t quite get rolling – so another rejection. Or maybe you get the compliment out and get the “thanks but no thanks”. Or you get excited with the number close and she doesn’t reply. The only two certainies in life are death and daygame blowouts. For as long as you feel the sting of it, you’ll find ways to avoid being in that position, which leads me on to……
…. the ego is ingenius in it’s ability to avoid damage. In addition to the usual street weasels (“she’s too hot”, “she looks busy” etc) are the lifestyle weasels that prevent you even being in a position to open a girl. Just recently Tom met a guy who appears to have the Euro-jaunt lifestyle set up but he seems to spend all day in a cafe reading books and not opening. It’s quite acceptable to go see the art gallery, the museum and the opera house on your first day but that’s it. A good daygamer is a piss-poor tourist.
3. Blowout streaks
Everyone has strings of blowouts. If you’re good-looking and confident they’ll be short strings that barely phase you but you’ll still get them. If you’re a short Indian chode opening Russian catwalk models blowouts are pretty much the only thing you’ll get. It’s quite dispiriting to have a run of good results, perhaps a few quality lays, and then suddenly every girl acts like you’ve sprayed on woman repellant. Daygame is about keeping many balls in the air simultaneously in order to pull off a magic trick. It’s so easy to drop a ball or too and then not even get a girl to stop for you. And then you’ll start doubting yourself. “Was I really any good at this? Does it even work?” The typical newbie daygamer doesn’t have the reference experiences or mental grit to push through these streaks, nor the self-diagnostics to correct whatever is causing the blowouts.
4. K-selected signals
Almost every daygamer wants to be the Nice Guy. He’s absorbed too many Disney fairytales and has turned to daygame to get the Good Girls and not those Nightclub Sluts. He’s kidding himself. The sexual market rules are always in effect. It’s always a darwinistic fight whether on the club or on the streets, and the girls are operating according to the same mating schema. Daygame is to nightgame what tennis is to squash – useless ill-coordinated slobs are going to fail in both sports. Daygame fools you into thinking you’re not in competition with all those other cool charismatic men simply because you can’t see them at that moment in time. No. Hot young girls always have options and you’d better be either (i) her best option or (ii) a side-dish she can’t otherwise get.
So drop your Disney fantasy. Daygame is dirty and animalistic.
For every cool daygamer I’ve met, I’ve met six or seven normal everyman types who have a chance to make it. For every normal guys, I’ve met a couple of weird freaks who have no chance at all. Like the LSS guy who lives in a tent in an Essex forest and has had three phone numbers in ten years – because he’s not only homeless but he looks and smells homeless. His stupid weirdo ego prevents him addressing the one obvious problem. Then there’s all the little Indian chodes asking me “how many sets I need before hot Russian girl become in my harem, Mr Krauser?” or the frame-control PUA freaks who “open” me with a Yad-Stop then completely ignore my friend while trying to get a free consultation. Just the other day I met such a guy and he had weird bug eyes and his shoulders looked like he was halfway through a shrug. He wasn’t physically deformed, just a lifetime of being weird had etches itself into his muscle memory. That can conceivably be undone but it’s a hell of a job. And until them every girl is thinking “ewwww!”
More than any other strategy, daygame is a test of how normal you are. Weirdness will always fall flat when there’s no alcohol, flashing disco lights or female super-horniness to mask it.
6. Nowhere leads
A combination of the other barriers listed here will tend to result in a guy getting phone numbers to nowhere. Now you are fully aboard the emotional rollercoaster. You get the sickening dread of approach anxiety, the euphoria of a girl hooking and chatting, then the validation of the number close, and then the dull let-down of her not responding. Inevitably you’ll obsess for days over it, trying to figure out the perfect recovery text. And finally give up. Get yourself a pile of these false leads and you’ll get into the “is daygame worth all this effort” meta-weasel.
7. Hack mentality
“Dear Tom. I love your book, perhaps I do one-on-one with you. Me your fan. Your infield very good!!!! So Mr Tom, where is easiest place to get laid?”
Everyone wants to avoid the market. Whether it’s a corporation shovelling cash in lobby groups, a feminist mandating alimony laws, an established PUA moving to “lifestle game”, or a noob looking for Pussy Paradise – the emotional driver is always the same: I don’t want to be subject to the rigours of the free market because it’s too hard / I don’t think I’ll win that competition. Combine this with the natural chode avoidance of making significant changes and you have the hack mentality.
The PUA cartel saw you coming and will sell you magic pills and 3 Secrets To Make Her Wet as long as your credit card is below it’s limit. If you’re looking to score something for nothing, you’ll end up with nothing. Daygame is hard. Very very hard.
8. Quality overreach
When you see a really hot girl with a boyfriend, have a good look at him. He’s not a short pot-bellied old man with a comb-over and ill-fitting Primark t-shirt is he? Hot girls only have sex with high value men. Now, as daygamers we are lucky that there is a carefully-honed system to deliver that value in a short space of time but….. the value has to be there. The single biggest piece of value a daygamer can have (and which at least 60% don’t have) is… a personality.
The fuck ladder is real. If you’re currently getting occasional 5s then you needn’t bother opening higher than a 6. By all means do so as an experiment in breaking limiting beliefs but know that you’ve got no hope in hell of fucking them. Go dig up a photo of the hottest girl you fucked in the last two years. That’s what you should be opening. If she’s a 5 then leave the catwalk models to the men who actually have a chance.
And yes, you probably bristled at the last two paragraphs. Going for turbo-hotties that blow you out is actually avoidance – you are avoiding girls you might fuck because getting blown out by the 6s is a bigger blow to your ego.
The first generation of London daygamers figured it out for themselves. Tom, Jon, Antony and I were hitting the streets and trying new things. We’d experiment with how many steps to take before coming in on the front stop, what hand position, when to ask the name and so on. There wasn’t a Daygame Mastery out there for us to read so we figured it out for ourselves. That’s called self-reliance and it’s a universally attractive masculine trait. We also read whatever we could get our hands on and stripped out the goldust to incorporate into the model. At no point did we ever think somebody would just hand over the answer. That would’ve been weird.
We accepted that the world is a cold unyielding place and if we wanted to get sex, we’d better solve the problems put in our way. Now I look at some of the emails I get, or long rambling blogposts in the manosphere and it seems few people want to work for it. Wanting to be spoonfed is an entitlement mentality which will stop you improving.
10. First day abroad
Every one of the above barriers slams down hard when you try a Euro-jaunt. You’ve probably built yourself up over a few weeks while waiting for the flight date. This is it, pussy paradise, you’re gonna hit it hard. Burn the town with a crazy number farm and get some hot foreign birds! And then you arrive in your apartment, put down your suitcase and look out the window. Shit has just gotten real and all those insecurities rise up. If you’re not careful you’ll wig out and spend the whole trip buried in a cafe reading blogs.
Daygame is not the easy answer to getting laid. There’s a reason more people don’t do it, and there’s a reason most people who do either give up quickly after the bootcamp honeymoon, or they are relentless weirdos who get nowhere. So when I’m sitting in a Prague pavement cafe looking at the hot teens stride past in hot pants and think “I might have a piece of that” it’s no longer a surprise to me that there’s not more men doing exactly the same.
If you want to learn daygame the right way and maximise your chances of success, check out my book Daygame Mastery