It is in the nature of learning that concepts begin muddy and confusing, then gradually refine until you can simply and precisely understand them. So it is with two commonly equivocated concepts: alpha and abundance. Consider a fairly frequently-observed case where a guy is lacking any strong alpha qualities but gets laid a lot and treats girls with the classic IDGAF frame. How can this be so? Aren’t girls supposed to be fucking ALPHAS?
Most insider accounts suggest he’s a fairly boring needy chode in a normal social context but clearly he can bang a new hottie every night if he wants. Robbie Williams is a needy creepy guy (lots of gossip on clingy and reactive behaviour from him) but also swimming in pussy. Or consider the recently-leaked text message exchange with James Franco.
I don’t know enough about Franco to comment on his relative alpha cred (and even writing that sentence gives me a creepy internet-alpha-syndrome shiver). But he certainly exuded IDGAF. So what are we to make of this apparent conundrum? Let’s pedantically unpack the two concepts and how they relate.
Alpha is a mindset. It is a way of relating to the world, to girls, the male rivals, and fundamentally comes down to having an internal reference point. Abundance is a condition. It is the actual real-world situation of having lots of girls wanting to fuck you. To split hairs, abundance is not about the girls you’re fucking now, it’s about your self-belief in your ability to fuck new girls in the near future. Naturally, being alpha is a predictable (but not 100% certain) cause of abundance because girls are attracted to alpha. But, it is possible for a beta to engineer / encounter circumstances which give him the condition of abundance.
- White gamma guy goes to Japan / Phillipines
- Top athlete attains fame and status
- Normal guy appears on reality TV show
- Rock guitarist in band that achieves fame
- Successful businessman hires female employees
There are many situations in which a man can become The Chosen without requiring a fundamental change to his mindset. It’s like the difference between getting rich from building a business versus buying a lottery ticket. The bank balance is the same, no matter how it was obtained. I think this explains the common mis-identification of alphas as “any guy getting laid a lot”. Once a beta is living in abundance he will naturally take on the IDGAF mindset because it’s a result of options rather than internal referencing. He really has more female options than time and motivation to bang them all, so he can aggressively filter, go direct, and walk away at any point. Just review James Franco’s text message exchange.
Is Franco also alpha? I don’t know. However, that text exchange is pure abundance mentality.
So a lesson for any aspiring player is to work for abundance as well as alpha. Abundance can come from hosting VIP tables in a nightclub, working as a dive instructor at a backpacker resort, owning a strip club or (in my case) travelling in countries where I’m shiny and then aggressively number-farming. That gives you the IDGAF from plate spinning.
It is not a reason to abandon the quest for alpha (or in my case, sigma). And the reason is:
- Betas will always eventually lose abundance
- Betas will always get rolled by a predatory female
I know a Welsh guy who was recently on a reality TV show. Fairly good-looking guy but nothing special. However the show made him shiny and cast his filter net* wide, thus all the local girls know who he is. So now he’s getting spammed by selfies from DTF girls. He’s living in abundance and getting laid like dambusters. But eventually his fifteen minutes will pass, other guys will replace him as flavour of the month, and the pussy shower is turned off. I hope he uses his period in the sun to lock down the IDGAF attitude to get him through leaner times.
As for the predator women, just think of John Lennon. Completely rolled. I view Yoko Ono as a top-level heist professional who completely took him. Many guys in abundance get rolled – Bob Geldof, Paul McCartney, Russell Brand, Tiger Woods, Mel Gibson, Mike Tyson. Unless you change the mindset you’ll always be vulnerable to the coquette who knows your need for affection (abundance always strips your soul over time, leaving you vulnerable to affectionate women) and how to use it against you.
Betas can experience abundance by succeeding in the hamster wheel of life. Become the best tennis player, become a rich businessman. Become a famous musician. That’s great, more power to them. Just don’t mistake it for alpha.
*Filter Net – Out there in the world there’s a certain number of women who will like you just as you are, without much Game required. For most men the problem is you never meet more than a tiny proportion of these girls. University increases the net (because you’re in constant contact with teen girls). Working in a business surrounded by women increases the net (e.g. fashion photography). Cold approaching increases the net (by initiating more interactions). Being famous massively increases the net by letting those women know you exist and telling them how to find you. Thus it’s possible for a man’s abundance to massively change purely on the strength of widening his net without any other changes to his mindset and game.
April 18, 2014 at 12:09 pm
Hi Nick Thanks for great article. Regarding the filter net – are you suggesting that a reasonably sane/well adjusted man can increase his lay count simply buy “advertising” himself along with just basic/limited game knowledge? [Yes. If you filter for Yes Girls, a bigger net = better results. K.]
This seems very different to actual individual female target acquisition on the mans part., and if so, would there be a substantial difference in success percentages? Is this a reversal from the choser to the chosen as mentioned before? Apologies for any misunderstandings about the concepts – newbie here.Thank you.
April 18, 2014 at 1:52 pm
Cheers mate- thanks for reply.
April 18, 2014 at 12:13 pm
Apologies – “chooser” in second paragraph.
April 18, 2014 at 12:52 pm
Alpha is a mindset
…that you get from the Internet.
Alpha is betas manning up together with the help of Blogger.
Alpha is man
wanting to be alpha.
April 18, 2014 at 1:14 pm
I don’t know you personally but I think your quest should be alpha because you seem to enjoy leading also men not just seduce women. [If seduction is the goal, r-selection has a better cost-reward payoff than alpha. K.]
April 18, 2014 at 3:14 pm
What is IDGAF?
April 18, 2014 at 3:55 pm
I don’t give a fuck – acronym
April 18, 2014 at 3:44 pm
Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.
To even the most marginally predatory female, a Beta man wears his ‘thumbscrew’ on his sleeve. And the closer a woman gets to her SMV decline, the more the necessity for predation intensifies.
April 19, 2014 at 9:53 am
Interesting .So why do financially independent “cougars” act in this way if they are way past their SMV peak? Delusion? Ego-tripping?
April 19, 2014 at 2:49 pm
@Dean, because, for some, it becomes the only tool they have in their toolbox. The only model they know is coquetry because it worked well for them in their SMV peak, so this is what they consistently return to.
May 6, 2014 at 7:12 pm
Evolution did not equip women with self-awareness beyond compulsive awareness of relative rank in the moment, and the maximizing of (feral) relative rank is the essence of a woman’s instincts. She reproduces better that way in the wild, where lives are mean and usually short. It does not turn off after menopause, no competitive advantage to evolve it. Women do not relearn like men do. They depreciate after burning soon, fast, and hot. Men are disposable; women are perishable (evo theory). In short, why would a woman turn off her expedient to every moment relative social climbing? Only being put in her place due to survival needs anchored to a patriarch husband with patriarch backing can shut it off. If she can’t fuck carousel alpha, she can have a wedding -> highest immediate relative status possible, and she can rationalize its higher than carousel queen because she ‘grew up’. It gives woman her feminine feral reproductive advantage to always be vapid and amorally socially flexible to the moment for maximal sperm and non-sperm resource acquisition useful to her reproduction. Women are the more competitive sex, fucking nutz but psychopathically sly.
April 19, 2014 at 8:11 pm
Thanks for reply and link, Rollo. That has helped a lot.
April 18, 2014 at 4:08 pm
James Franco trying to bang his 17 year old fan! Legend!!! 🙂 [Spoken like a true incel. K.]
April 18, 2014 at 4:32 pm
No. Just one player appreciating another. [Ok, my mistake. K.]
April 19, 2014 at 9:55 am
Oh Mr Krauser, you do make me laugh.
April 18, 2014 at 4:21 pm
That’s the best take on the Alpha state I’ve read.
It is often a misconception especially among the non-PUA manosphere – “Alpha is the guy who gets laid”. Yeah right…
Frankly it amazes me how the concept is so difficult to understand. Me and my buddies who did approaches before the Red Pill knowledge immediatelly understood the state – most of us had fluctuated from Alpha to Beta – some were pretty much Alpha Naturals.
On the other hand being Alpha and in abundance is the sweetest deal, but still better to be Alpha or you lose millions to a one-legged bitch…
April 18, 2014 at 4:34 pm
Nick, have you read The Contextual Alpha?
Not exactly the abundance you’re describing here, but there are ‘venues’ in which Beta men are perceived as Alphas because of the context they’re presented in. [Yeah, read it. Good stuff. K]
April 23, 2014 at 10:51 am
I remember a presentation you did about 5 years ago now for Street Storm, you mentioned contextual alphas then, what ever happened to all that information you’d gathered Nick? I’m not sure you’ve ever written about it on the blog [Yeah, I kinda moved on. Maybe I’ll resuscitate it. Mostly it still applies. K.]
April 18, 2014 at 9:17 pm
your articles are always on point
April 18, 2014 at 9:26 pm
Lot of wisdom in this post and the comments.
I can’t tell you how many friends I’ve had – younger and older, real ladies men as we used to call them, lose their confidence with women and begin to accept women much inferior to who they could attain. It’s almost without exception. Clearly their sense of self worth and sense of self-SMV rooted in something other than what they are inside (i.e. not internally referenced). Most of them were very good looking & all it takes is their batting average getting lower and lower until it’s a vicious, self reinforcing cycle. Before you know it they’re talking fast in set like any beta daygame beginner because they’re afraid the girl will leave, that subtext being communicated clearly to women. The better looking the guy the harder and more apparent the fall.
Men psychologically destroyed also by loss of a job from which they derive their identity and/or their money. Seen it time and time again. Sense of self worth rooted in things that are brittle, easily lost, and have expiration dates. Think it’s easy to get internally referenced ? Probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do if you’re ever able to do it. Most of us run around trying to take a drunk (i.e. ourselves) up off the street, get a haircut, shower, shave, new suit/shoes as Buckmeister FUller used to say: we work around the problem because that’s much easier than working ont he problem. We’ll go try to get more money, get in better shape, get a nice place to live, new car, learn ‘game’. None of those things are easy and I think they are all worthwhile in varying degrees, but they are much easier than getting internally referenced because I think the first step of becoming internally referenced is to look inside and see what’s there and most of us will find out that it ain’t what we thought it was. As we say “You ain’t all that”. Not gonna go into the other steps as this ain’t my blog.
I used to think that for abundance you need a bench as they say in American sports – I know Roissy says “Keep one in the kitty” and that’s fine and well and is helpful to do. It’s only in the last year though that I’ve learned it’s not necessary. As pointed out above:
“abundance is not about the girls you’re fucking now, it’s about your self-belief in your ability to fuck new girls in the near future.” (Well put Krauser)
You have a virtual bench.
That’s a key concept I’ve only recently come to understand and you younger guys would do well to dwell on because 1.) You’re lucky to have this stuff elucidated to you and 2.) as has been repeated over and over again: “Abundance is the foundation of game”. It forms the backdrop for a lot of behavior and subcommunications – it’s the software running in the background when a girl comes over and says your place is a mess and the possible responses come up:
a. Yeah it is, sorry (and then you start cleaning it up)
b. My roomate is a slob
c. Well I think you should start cleaning then
I now see the threat of a breakup from a girl partly as partly a loss of a personal connection which can be hard, but also part: “Ok, this is the part where I get to go screw other chicks again”. It came up just the other night – girl said something to the effect of “What do you think you would do ?” since she is bit younger than me and thought she could play the “You’re an old guy” card. I sort of smiled and said “Is this your ‘I won’t be able to get anyone else theory’ again ? I don’t really see the world that way”. Abundance helps you plug that particular gap in your castle wall as Rollo points out above:
“Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.”
It’s a funny thing I find about business deals: wealthy people and people on the right side of the market can afford to let any particular deal go and not be too worried about it. It helps them get their terms.
April 19, 2014 at 12:56 am
I like the concept of the filter net. But it seems to me that fame does more than just letting more women know you exist “just as you are”. Fame is intoxicating to girls, and people in general, even if it’s based on nothing.
April 19, 2014 at 3:33 am
Great post. The “self-belief” aspect is the crucial factor in the transition from beta to alpha/sigma.
I’ve personally been struggling with this and in many situations can be completely aloof and full of the right level of confidence that sees me through.
But the minute I get personally invested…whether it’s emotionally with a girl I like or a work situation that requires some financial investment or any other situation which there’s a disproportionate “fear of failure”, then I stumble.
This is largely an internal conflict because externally people can’t tell. Getting to that point of a more zen-like confidence in the process and acceptance of the outcome positive or otherwise as “learnings” is a daily struggle. The more self-aware I am about these insecurities the more I can conquer them by extinguishing them one by one rather than trying to erase them entirely from my emotional hard-drive.
April 19, 2014 at 10:03 am
Try a bit of meditation – it might help .Tyler Durden from Real Social Dynamics has got a good video about this on Youtube and how it relates to game.
April 19, 2014 at 6:42 pm
@Dean yes, I do this and it helps. The “panic” comes from a mistaken and faulty upbringing about “losing” important people so I’ll stay longer than I should.
It really truly is mind over matter. The “abundance mentality” is more mentality than abundance.
I had an interesting experience the other day. I met, then gamed and banged that same night a cute 6. She could be hotter if she dressed up.
After just banging her 5 times it occurred to me that in this regard women are interchangeable and that what we’re really looking for is not just someone cute enough to bang but someone nice enough and feminine enough to want to keep banging and the confidence to know we can do better if that doesn’t work out.
Why is it that when I look back at all the chicks I’ve banged I have always done better not worse and despite being tooled every so often and experiencing heartbreak when I think back to those girls who did that…I laugh. They’re older, they’re not nice, they’re now in spinsterhood. I saw my ex wife from 12 years ago in a shopping mall from a distance. This was someone who was very important to me at one time—we shared a life together. I barely recognized her. She was shabbily dressed, old and just had a vacant look on her face. We project our own emotions onto others instead of becoming clean in our own minds what we think and feel about ourselves.
The best parts of Krauser’s DayGame Mastery were the first and last chapters that looked at the mindset and inner came.
April 19, 2014 at 8:15 pm
Interesting observation of a post-coital thinker.
The abundance mentality fo man in his prime should also be extended to relationships and not only to lays. I recently talked with a friend of mine and said, that even if his lovely Red-Pill-Russian wife died in an accident, he would know where to find a hotter younger spiritual Red-Pill-woman. As aware men we can find easy lays just as well as LTR-material women.
Also had met recently two exes of mine. One careerista made full impact with the wall and was rather down-trodden and sad being childess and unmarried. The other was stay-at-home & happily married to an Alpha with 3 small children. The Alpha husband even cheated on her recently, but of course the marriage was more important to her than a petty affair. Guess which one had a wonderful feminine glow about her despite being 10 years older and well past her prime?
But you are right – we project too much of our mental perception on someone – the childless Ex was by far more attractive in her prime and seemed so interesting. It was all in my mind of the unexperienced me of former years.
April 19, 2014 at 9:53 am
BTW – James Franco has quite a few characteristics of an Alpha – saw an interview with him and his younger brother – camera crew followed them around.
But of course even that is not enough to ascertain his state. I know a guy, who is extremely good-looking (9-10 on the male looks scale – had a model proposition when younger), is successful in the corporate world (at age 37 the youngest regional manager on his way to become VP-level by age 45), he is decisive and strong in his business dealings, he is even good with new women he meets being aloof and playing natural amused mastery.
However in a LTR and now his marriage he becomes a pussy-whipped Beta. Of course they don’t leave him, because his SMV is soo much above theirs, but they lose sexual interest in him and the previous one even cheated on him.
So Alpha or Sigma is an all-around state – you have to assess all areas of life.
April 19, 2014 at 10:30 am
I have a comment not about the article but the redesign of your site. It’s nice overall but I find it hard to read due to the lack of a left margin on the main content. The words on the right are pressed right up against the browser window. IMO it would look better if there was a left margin the same width as the right margin that exists between the content and the right sidebar. [Thanks. This redesign is only partially-complete. I just haven’t got round to finishing it. K.]
April 25, 2014 at 11:18 am
@Betatopua yes, as a fellow coder I have been bugging him about this kind of shit. for instance the comment count doesn’t show on the post heading, you have to click into it: lame.
on this note: my blog redesign is totally amazing and cool and the comment count shows. usually zero 😦
April 19, 2014 at 2:52 pm
I really like the Filter Net idea. It gives a reason for every guy to cold approach and still “be yourself”
The problem with the whole “alpha male” term is there are so many definitions out there on the internet. Besides being “leader of men” there seems to be so many caveats, exceptions, or whatnot considering the author you are reading.
To every guy I would say this. Don’t worry about being Alpha, Beta, Gamma or whatever. Be a man. By this I mean (and this used to be my definition of the “Alpha Male”) figure out what you want out of life and go to it!
April 20, 2014 at 1:08 am
Alpha is the ability to stand your ground despite overwhelming odds and not back down.
All other definitions of alpha are false and are based on social conventions, which by their nature, tend more towards the feminine than masculine.
November 27, 2014 at 2:40 am
I love your definition. Stand strong in the face of opposition despite the numbers against you. Never sacrifice your core beliefs for conformity. If you believe in what you stand for in life and you believe in what you preach and live out day to day, there should be no problem standing up for yourself.
April 23, 2014 at 6:57 am
I like your points on how beta + optionality leads to an abundance mindset but over a long enough tine frame if actual internal perspective isnt permanently adjusted to be somewhat independent of the environment (scarce times) people fall back to scarcity thinking. I think you will like nassim talebs anti fragility if you’ve not read it yet, Nick
April 29, 2014 at 12:50 pm
I’ve seen pics of George Clooney’s new girl. It confirms all the rumours I’ve heard and believed wrt gayness. Amazonian and androgynous. Would’ve thought someone with his options could do better. What a gay man THINKS an attractive woman looks like.
April 30, 2014 at 11:36 pm
im in a relationship atm, and the mention of predatory women gives me pause. id like to think i have a pretty strong hold on her loyaly, but are there any specific signs that youre being played and what form does this take? im not getting married. does abundance solve this threat
May 6, 2014 at 6:51 pm
I was not sure where you were going at the beginning. Getting laid by liberated women means the definition of alpha is per the woman’s AWALT instincts. Building civilization is per than civilized man’s definition with women in their place. I think there is an internalized vs. exogenous IDGAF as depicted, but internalized psychological reality is a source of strength in the world, but not strength in the world per se. To wit, I think alpha to women is entirely about relative male rank as measured by women’s instincts, and I am not convinced on a generalized definition of alpha.
Nevertheless, fucking brilliant insight! Now I understand Yoko Ono precisely. You fucking nailed it, that getting roled without inner IDGAF to protect you. I don’t think IDGAF is appropriate in the same way for conqueror-builders with women roled in their place. I met a chick lately who make a comment on my needing affection, and I was not comfortable with where she was coming from (fell short of overnite bang). Perhaps she saw me as having the described weakness that makes a guy rollable to that certain type of female.
The picture of Yoko and John made me sick. Your intellectual setup really aided that. Well done. Great warning. Thank you! Never, ever not be self-fucking-reliant with one’s emotions, ever! I’m getting there. Tom Lekyis 101 features the term ‘cum receptacle’. It’s no joke, is it? Even fondling has to be done with authority, emotionally more for her than for you as the man. Roll or be rolled. lol
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