I’m still in a small town in Brazil, marking time before hitting Rio. Outside the sun is so oppressive that even the locals are indoors, collapsed on sofas with the fans humming. My buddy Suave suggests we hit a couple of bars towards midnight just as an excuse to get outside. So we roll up. On the way in some girl eyes me up. Standing at the bar another girl eyes me up as she walks past holding her boyfriend’s hand. “Brazil must be the only country in the world where I’ve gotten approach invitations” I tell Suave. Really, I just never get them. Every piece of attraction I get must be earned through game.

Standing outside an hour later some curvy black chick ambles past and gives me a long solid look. Really solid. I ask Suave if she’s a whore, it seems too strong to be legit. She doesn’t have the tart look and he says no she’s just a normal bird. Ten metres away I can see her still looking at me intensely, like I do when the new Bioshock is released. Hmmmm. Couldn’t rate her higher than a six but she’s got big tits and a Brazilian ass. Also, I don’t fuck enough black girls. I wave her over and she comes obediently.

It’s immediately apparent she doesn’t speak a word of English. She blabs on in some monologue the jist of which is she’s not a whore, she won’t have sex with me, but she’s just had an argument with her husband and stormed out the house and wants to talk to people. What’s that rule in Game?

When a woman tells you unbidden that she won’t have sex with you, it means she’s thinking of having sex with you.

I look at Suave. He shrugs. We know this is there for the taking.

A surreal conversation ensues in which I speak English against her Portuguese and neither of us has any idea what’s going on except the pieces Suave translates. She suggests we go for a drive somewhere. While waiting for Suave to bring his car up next to hers I kiss close. About ten minutes in. Then we follow him home to his buddy’s house I’m staying at. He leaves on the pretext of picking up a girlfriend and then me and the girl just sit in the front seats of her car listening to samba on the radio and sharing a can of Brahma.

There’s really very little to write about this. I needed no Game beyond recognising she’s up for it and then escalating correctly. I’m a talker but this didn’t even need words, relying upon me saying any old shit in a low seductive tone while eye fucking her. Soon we are on the back seats and she gives perfunctory LMR before I’ve got her riding me. It’s very very good sex. Squalid and dirty, me slamming her hard while I push her face into the seat, little moans of “ai ai” coming out her mouth like a metronome. I’m fucking some girl who picked me up on Valentine’s Day after an argument with her husband.

What did he do wrong? The chocolate wasn’t expensive enough? The reservation at the restaurant too close to the kitchen? Poor guy.

The sheer squalid lunacy of the situation appeals to me. Not one to miss a moment I make sure some of my cum misses her tits and face and hits the windows. Clean that off in the morning, hon. And don’t forget to pick up the condom off the floor before you give the car keys back to hubby.

This is what its like for good-looking guys. A girl goes to a bar DTF and then comes onto a guy she likes the look of. So you isolate, escalate and fuck. There’s no game at all. I will now no longer listen to good looking guys on anything except calibration and escalation. They don’t know what its like to actually win a girl over.

This was child’s play. Its a shame that when I return to Europe, I’ll return to reality.

* No idea of her age, or name, or anything else. Could be anywhere between 25-35. She wasn’t very happy when I pulled up my trousers, said thanks for the ride home, then disappeared inside to sleep.