JJ has been hassling us to recreate the legendary RSG Malaga holiday from 2009. He’s got a flat out there by the beach and it’s a no-brainer really: £70 in flight and transfers, no accomodation costs. So I head out with Burto, Shammers and the beligerent Burnley tosspot himself. Burning sun, beautiful tapas, and small glasses of beer. It’s all good.

Daygame is a washout because hot girls aged 17-30 simply do not come out of their warrens until after 8pm. It took two days to figure this out. We opened the sets we found but it was slim pickings. My first day I had a fantastic set, technically perfect, on a Krauser girl headed to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. She came back and we arranged a date the next evening. She flaked. Bugger. I thought I was on for the lay, the signals were so good.

I stop another beauty the next day and facebook her. The spark of electricity was there physically but her English was non-existant and it faded to nothing. If she’d had even elementary speaking I’d have SDL’d her. I’m sure of it. After that I’m just losing interest in game. I get bladdered on the Friday and amped up to see Burto come over and just run riot with girls doing wildly Hail Mary street propositions. A couple of girls hook but I’m too drunk and impatient to play them properly and we end up staggering home.

The Saturday night I’m in shit state. I’ve had no sleep, got a horrible hangover, and JJ is pushing out truly obnoxious farts every ten minutes. Fortunately Burto is on form and carries the night. Later me and JJ are sitting defeated in a bar about to go home and hatch an idea to just open girls with gibberish. From that the bingo bongo opener is created. Our state rises and we get some decent sets. JJ closes a hired gun (see his shitty little blog for a video I shot) and we double-team these two girls.

Doesn’t go anywhere but it lifts our spirits. Next (and for me, last) night we head to a big market square that is full of Portuguese high school graduates on holiday. I run a fantastic three set. I swear it’s the best number close I ever got in nightgame. She’s on long game now. No video though. If I can progress it, I’ll do a full post on beginning to end.

And that’s it. My unbroken streak of fucking a new girl every month in a foreign country since September comes to an end.