I blow an SDL by trying to start a fight

February 24, 2011

I’m out with Moran in the west end for daygame. It’s been a while since I did a proper session. We do a few models and head up to Regent Street till I finally see some Krauser girls. First off I get a quickie facebook off a French girl who is only here a few days and off to meet her mum. Then I see a really curvy Brazilian and give chase. Check out the video for the open, instant date and second date later that night. I’m really off form but she’s hooking strong anyway.

So far so good, right?

Nope. It started well. She’s into me at the approach, IOIs, and we get a coffee in Starbucks. In the pub after that I verbally escalate and she’s responding well. There’s no bones about what’s going on and she’s only in the UK two more days. Kino is good, with handholding and thigh touching. I clearly IOI her sexually. She rebuffs two kiss closes with a “not now” and no attempt to escape. There’s a time constraint on both sides because I’ve arranged to meet two daygamers for a coffee and she’s had a long distance meet arranged with some guy she once knew at university who now works in London. She tells me she barely knows him.

So we agree to part at 6pm and meet up again for a drink in Camden at 9pm. There’s no doubt whatsoever about the frame. If she shows up, it’s an SDL. We swap numbers and I give her an out – if anything changes she can text me to bail. At 9pm I show up. She’s 20 minutes late but physically present. So it’s on. Or not….

“My friend should be here” she says. Yes, she’s arranged to meet the guy at the same time. I make my first mistakeI should clarify right now if its a date or not (and walk if its not). I don’t. I figure maybe it’s just a quick pint with him for appearance purposes. This girl was IOIing big time in the instadate so it doesn’t enter my head this guy is gonna hang around and get in her way.

Dude is a commodities trader. I fucking despise traders. Every last one of them I met (and I met alot during my career) is a shallow stressed blowhard. This guy doesn’t disappoint. Right from the off he’s trying to amog me. He’s a smart guy with alot of backbone, being a trader. No pushover. And he keeps slipping into Portuguese with my girl. And he will not shut up.

I’m watching thinking he’s being a tool, and she’s not responding to him at all. There’s very little I can do. I make my next mistake – she knew this was a date, she knew the score, and she still brings this guy out without warning me in advance. She’s playing. I should’ve spotted it and called her out but I didn’t. So she’s sitting with two guys, one of whom (me) has already declared clear sexual intent and the other who is qualifying qualifying qualifying and clearly wants to fuck her. Evidently she can stay all night basking in the validation. So I refuse to give it. I let him talk, don’t defer, don’t seek rapport, and don’t fight for attention.

He gets ruder and ruder. He’s talking over me, calling England worse than shit, bigging himself up, disagreeing with literally everything I say, and trying to push me down. I really ought to just punch him he’s that much of a cunt, but I figure that’ll kill the vibe. And the girl is tolerating it. She could’ve easily said something in Portuguese to rein him in without belittling him infront of me but she failed to do so for the obvious reason she wanted this to continue.

So I lose all respect for her. I still want to fuck her, which is my third mistake. No amount of sex is worth losing the frame but here I am sitting having a drink with a girl who clearly doesn’t deserve my time. The guy keeps pushing until finally he goes too far. To paraphrase the video:

Him: England is shit. It’s history. The future is China, India, Brazil.
Me: Wait and see. There’s a reason we civilised and invented everything.
Him: You guys only did well because you are so violent. All the knowledge and culture was in Persia.
Me: Not true. Learn history. England ruled the world because we had Christianity, monogamy and the reformation. That created the social conditions for the agricultural and industrial revolutions.
Him: blah blah, that’s bullshit. There’s monogamous tribes in the amazon and they didn’t civilise.
Me: Maybe its because they are Brazilian [bear in mind he’d spent two hours belittling Europe and europeans, particularly English, and I’d already decided I was happy to burn the set]
Him: That’s racist. You’re a racist shit.
Me: Just facts. Everything of value that was ever invented was by a white straight beta male [I’d already been explaining the monogamy = civilisation thing to the girl and she was giving me rapt attention, so he was constantly trying to talk over me and say bullshit as he felt himself no longer the centre of attention]
Him: You’re a racist English shit. Are you saying all the whites are better.
Me: No. I’m saying England had the cultural conditions to civilise, Brazil didn’t. Nor did Japan or China or India.
Him: Racist
Me: Everything you’ve said tonight is anti-English. You’ve no business accusing me of racism
Him: I’m not anti-English [a flagrant lie], I am anti-American
Me: I’m pro-American. Well, I don’t like Obama but Bush was ok.

He gets more het up and foolishly I’ve allowed myself to get sucked in and be reactive. I’d simply decided my boundary about being hectored by a retard was more important than fucking a girl who invites such a situation. And to be honest, this guy was never going to fuck off and leave me isolated so he’d already succeeded in killing the set. I decide I’m gonna physically back him down.

I give him a challenging “fuck with me if you dare” look and start pressing him on why he called me a racist, that it’s an insult and he’d better defend it. He can’t, he’s just bluster. I happen to have a rolled-up till receipt in my hand that I’ve been playing with. I flick it at him and catch him between the eyes. Beautiful shot! He flips, stands up like he’s about to attack me. I stay laid back, hold eye contact, flip him the finger and tell him to fuck himself. Then  I calmly wait for the violence to begin.

The girl immediately gets up and tries to calm it. He realises I’m ready to fight and dick tucks behind some bluster, then starts walking out. The girl is 50/50 on what to do and ends up following him. I blank her. He tries some parting shot that I blank as I’ve already stopped paying attention to him. I see him in the corner of my eye necking his pint, very very angry. The girl is looking perturbed, like her validation-fest didn’t go to plan. She seems to have contempt for the guy but she’s still with him and not me. They leave. No kino, no IOIs, no raised state from her towards him. There’s no way he fucks her, but he did a good job of stopping me fucking her.

I sit back with the strange quiet satisfaction of a boundary clearly drawn, mixed with the tinge of disappointment that I didn’t fuck a hot girl who had seemed so up for it just a few hours earlier. Live and learn.

Learning points
1. If a girl springs a guy on me, clarify it’s a date and walk out if she gives bullshit. No point wasting time trying to pass her stupid tests.
2. When faced with a smart mouthy amog, do the Reardon gambit. I of all people should’ve known this.
3. Don’t try to win the arguments he starts. Just point out his compulsive need to argue and frame him as try-hard.
4. Hold the girl accountable. The entire displeasing situation was of her engineering and she enabled it the whole way.
5. Never ever ever lose the frame to get sex.


  1. Hahaha how did you not lamp him?

  2. He even sounds like a cunt….

  3. Krauser, you’re always a borderline mess, at least going by your little vignettes and stories. But I stay subscribed because you’re always pulling in the right direction, mostly, and you’re not a faggot.

    I’m a poor American, but I donated to the BNP once. You should put up a tipjar, and throw in a post every so often about savaging some PC bigot.

    If you jump in here with some tortured libertarian leftist objection to the BNP and the nationalists, I’ll sigh and pity you.

  4. Don’t try to win the arguments he starts. Just point out his compulsive need to argue and frame him as try-hard.

    Whites who decline to accept their categorical guilt need to observe and develop this. In both the long and immediate term it won’t do to accept the moral goodness of people who fundamentally despise you, and then try to work through their logic. Instead you simply have to have thicker emotional armor and superior mental technique.

    I need to open a training school for this stuff. 😀

  5. This is delicious. Listen to the outrage in his voice when you correctly remind him that every invention which shaped the modern world was by a white male. That’s racist! Because I’m not white! Are you saying whites are better? After an hour of him slagging off the British.

    Your first mistake was even being in this situation.

  6. Sorry to be a stickler, but according to my copy of Atlas Shrugged it’s the Rearden Gambit with an “e” not an “o”.

    Apart from that, great story, as usual…

    Everything is in that moment when you calmly wait for the violence to begin, and because he recognizes it the violence does not happen.

  7. I agree with all the learning points at the end. Especially the first one:

    “If a girl springs a guy on me, clarify it’s a date and walk out if she gives bullshit. No point wasting time trying to pass her stupid tests”

    Bingo. Massive Shit Test. Walk away.

    I made a similar mistake once with a woman who sprang her platonic male friend on me. I must have asked her repeatedly beforehand:

    Me: “Does he fancy you?”
    Her: “No”
    Me: “Is he Gay?”
    Her: “No”
    Me: “Did you ever go out with him?”
    Her: “No, he’s just a mate.”
    Me: “Then what are we meeting him for?”

    I ended up getting the bang, but more by luck than judgement. I should have walked away there and then.

  8. What is the Reardon Gambit?

  9. Did he refer to himself as an “alpha male and you’re not” at the end?

    That shit was funny. Even if you should have snuffed out the whole situation by asking the girl why she brought him, it was still great to watch.

    Good job flicking the receipt at him. When I think back on dudes that tooled me, it was for shit like this. Now I NEVER give the guy a chance to pull something like this. Make fun of him to his face, put him on the offensive, eye code the girl, do whatever it takes to get under his skin in front of her. All under the guise of “hey man don’t get so upset we’re all just having fun.”

    Props to you man. I have not seen anyone film dates, much less a verbal sparring match with another dude.

  10. As stated, the best move would have been to leave at the beginning.

    This guy is going on and on busting your balls, talking over you and cursing (towards the end) and as soon as you match the aggression the guy “is leaving now”. What a douche. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure he would consider this a success.

  11. What we have here is a girl roping an instinctive sub alpha (trader boy) and a learned alpha (our charming host) in for a validation fest and to see who walks off with the spoils – this story is as old as the hills and can be seen in every zoo up and down the country.

    Trader boy probably arrived sure in himself of the SNL as our girl does not appear to be overly chaste – enter a real alpha (at least in body language, handling of himself etc) and clearly competition will ensue. The girl has engineered this competitive situation, with herself as the victors prize, half conciously and also somewhat subconciously as her programming compels her to mate with the fittest male to come out of this situation. Its a win win for her because lets face it, both guys have their shit together compared to the average joe in the street. As far as shes concerned., let the horn butting begin. Look at it from his point of view – what are the odds that one of the few alphas out in the wild swoops in on your fuckbuddy the same day you’re going to meet her later on for the SNL – what bad luck!

    Krauser’s mistake is not having nipped this in the bud right at the beginning – once he discovers that Brazil trader will be there, he needs to make clear that he has no interest in making more friends and is there to get to know girl better without distractions – if she insists on seeing Brazil for a quick catch up, put a time limit on it and then get the f*** out. My way or the highway.

    On a side note, Brazilian: What a c***. If Englands so bad, f*** off back to brazil you ass. See how far your commodity trading skills will get you in the Sao Paolo slums. Should have called some of your RSG mates to make sure he had an accident on the way home.

    • I think I was up against it from the off. This guy had the following advantages of circumstance: (i) shared language which I don’t speak (ii) several years of prior acquaintance (iii) same university course in the same town in Brazil (iv) mutual friends (v) same industry.

      He was definitely a smart, rich, confident guy so with those circumstances it was like letting him start 3 seconds earlier in a 100m sprint. I’m pretty sure he didn’t fuck her though. She was giving him nothing back in subcummunication and I sensed him as an obstacle rather than a real rival. My only concern was he’d make me look bad or just never leave. I wasn’t concerned he’d make himself look more attractive. Any time I did talk she turned fully to me and held strong eye contact. Thus he would feel excluded and start trying to shout over the top of me to bring her attention back to him. You see this at the end of the video when I’m talking about monogamy – she’s totally focused on me and he starts yapping.

      She emailed me the next day and apologised. I think she left the bar with him due to social pressure and the trouble he could cause in her life, not due to attraction. There was no buying temp spike from the confrontation, imho.

  12. That turned out pretty awful.

    I hate when chicks I’m trying to fuck bring another dude into the mix like that. I never know how to handle that shit…

  13. Big respect for defending Western culture in front of that ungrateful non-European!

    An idiot who speaks two European languages, profits from scientific rationalism and capitalism (Western inventions) to increase his wealth and status, wore probably Western style clothing and has probably even running European blood through his own veins descending from the European settlers who colonised Brazil turning it slowly into a prosperous country.

    Even China, India, Japan and all the other fast growing countries only became that way after they modernised and partially westernised themselves (changing old structures so they would fit modern Western capitalism).

    Stupidity and ignorance made him obviously blind to the fact who much he is European/Western himself.

    Masculist greetings from Switzerland,

    The Sons of Perseus

  14. So this Brazilian guy was mostly or quite a lot black then?

    He doesn’t seem to identify as a (largely) white, Portuguese Brazilian.

  15. I don’t understand your evident anger at the girl. It was a big shit test on her part and you failed. Well, I do actually understand since I can recall such surprises and how I failed, and years later, understood how I might have responded, by engaging the intruding party in a cordial manner and thus demonstrating superior social skill AND grace under pressure to the girl.

  16. “Any time I did talk she turned fully to me and held strong eye contact.” You were the subject of the test and she was scanning for your creativity.

  17. you are talking wirh her 5 hours ? , and the time was about year from 2008 to 2007 …WTF ? My opinion is to Brasil girl white man is like hero… for me is not learning material … just simply date … You are from London , from where is is sensation , tell you are from reach country for ezample from Serbia ,,, i want to see after her reaction….

  18. in your model of seduction is a one problem ,,, in my opinion it is not working with girls from the same country, everywhere are girls from other countries , who wants to see LONDON , DUBAI ,,,, you are like high life man , and how pick up in your technic style someone who dont know English language , who doesnt live in LONDON, but in poor town and country , for example ZAMBIA or KOSOVO ?
    i have never seen your pick up with the same country with English girl from London … Seduction is for all , not to reach people who are living in high life… Poor people wants to pick up the girls also, your system is for Day Game it is OK but poor people havent high life style , what should they say then ? The true ? What says your system on that ?
    Secondly I would like to see pick up in Ucraina or in Russia , these girls are very national with Slavian tradition… how will you do it ? PICK UP is over the world.

  19. You are a racist clown and you deserve everything that comes your way.

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