We’d just arrived in Lithuania the night before and were itching to see if it really is the fabled land of beautiful women. After a quick spot of lunch we hit the streets on Friday afternoon. Suave opens a 4-set of jailbait which hooks but we kinda slink off when we realise their age then as I’m walking past a pavement cafe I see a perfect 10 sitting down. I open and she’s all smiley but doesn’t speak English. She’s not dismissing me at all and the body language is fine but her eyes have that vacant look of someone who has no idea what I’m trying to say. I eject.

In the town centre I see a nice seated set and hook until her boyfriend shows up. I plough anyway and then the set is invaded again – this time by the 4 jailbait girls. Seems everybody knows everybody in Vilnius. I eject out of that and when the rest of the gang show up for the Brazil game we get a nice double number close. Note how the motorcyclist turns his head to watch my set before he hits into the back of a car.

On the way home Suave and I open a few sets in the supermarket but none are very hot and then it’s time for nightgame. There’s a nice bar with a beer garden and as we walk in Shammers opens a 2-set of underage catwalk models on the stairs to the basement lounge. We manage to royally fuck up this set. I get him a drink and wing the obstacle. Plenty of IOIs and we bounce them across the room. Shammers then just wanders off. I decide to hold the set for him and then Suave comes in. He does too much attraction so I signal him and he backs off. I’m looking for Shammers to come back in but he doesn’t – it’s miscommunication – he thinks I’ve jacked his set and maybe I have. The slimmer girl is showing me lots of IOIs so I decide to just game her rather than wing (she was the obstacle). Then Moran comes in and jacks the set going after her.

It’s a clusterfuck but the girls are happy. Moran and I bounce them outside to the beer garden and now I’m gaming the other one and Moran is salsa dancing the 15 yr old. My new target is 16 so I know that when push comes to shove I won’t try to close her. Moran ends up cavemanning his for a k-close outside and then they run away. We get their numbers but when Moran follows up his girl she says she’s too scared to come on a date so it goes nowhere. They add me to Facebook and that’s that. There’s a team inquest afterwards in which we are reminded that we completely fucked up Shammers’ set – myself included.

Across the road is a great little club. We’d tried to get our jailbait in but the doorman carded them. Once inside I’m opened by a hen night that plies us with drinks and I get a flakey Facebook from the hottest girl in the club. She had big brushed metal discs for earrings so I opened with “Excuse me. Did you make those earrings from the hob on your cooker?”

Most random part of the night is I’m dancing with Suave when some girl pushes between us and starts grinding. I pull her off the dancefloor and she’s ranting on in broken English:

Her: I not a slut

Me: Uh-huh

Her: You are nice guy. I can see

Me: Yeah

Her: I not girl who fuck guy in club

That sort of thing – within two minutes of meeting. I kiss close. She wanders back to friends and I figure I can find her later. Over the next hour she keeps dancing a few yards away from me and signalling for me to join her. I refuse, locked in to the wall, and occasionally beckon her over – about half the time she comes. It’s one long attempted cock-tease by her. It’s heating up and I figure there’s a good chance of an extraction but then she suddenly grabs her friends and leaves the club, me mistaking it for them going out for a ciggie.