A couple of recent Facebook closes

April 4, 2010

In the spirit of videoing most of my sets these days, here’s a couple that went to Facebook. I’m field-testing the following pattern:

1. Indirect-direct opener: Run up to the girl and stop her direct but make the statement of interest oblique. So rather than say “you’re gorgeous/hot/cute” say “you’re interesting” or it’s equivalent. It still roots the opener and gives you a reason to be running up to her (which an indirect female opinion opener doesn’t)

2. Disqualify as a suitor and make your qualification of her on the close something that doesn’t seem very sexual e.g. “You seem like fun”. Do not seed a date and do not set a dating frame. Get the Facebook (lower investment for her than a number)

3. Rely upon Facebook to DHV you by having photos that hit the attraction triggers, a lively wall, lots of interesting friends etc. Facebook can be used as a passive shotgun Attraction / Comfort tool as the same material DHVs to all girls you added.

4. Post a tease on the girl’s wall to bait her into a playful exchange or two, reminding her of the original interaction and getting her comfortable talking to you again.

5. When she’s online, open up a chat. A bit more teasing, some comfort, mild seeding of a date but NO INVITE. Chat again a bit later, invite her out for the date.

I’ve only done this a few times so far (e.g. with the Black chick and the Taiwanese) so the jury is out on whether it’s a profitable avenue for game. We’ll see. Here’s two videos of girls I’m gonna try it out on. I wasn’t miked up for the black dancer so you are treated to a little music.


  1. See I like the explicitly direct approach because it’s so low-cost in terms of time and effort by weeding out girls who just aren’t interested. I’d rather have a lower transfer rate of approaches > numbers > dates which required less effort than a higher yield approach which required you to tango back and forth until you ask her out.

    That said, it’s *clearly* a bad idea to go straight to asking her for a date. Better to say a noncommital “we should go for a drink some time” towards the end of the approach, then send an immediate follow-up text within 20 minutes to anchor you, then a second, flirty text a day later and, if she responds positively, give her a call the next evening and arrange a date during the call.

    If the girl doesn’t seem enthusiastic at this point, disappear from her life. There’s an off chance she might re-initiate at a later point.

    I think calling is a good idea as it’s congruent with your initial, derring-do approach, and most women are comfortable on the phone. It’s also dead easy to appear cool and alpha on the phone as you don’t need to worry about body language and can lie down comfortably so that you seem really relaxed.

    But I’ve done less than 50 approaches so I’m talking from a position of inexperience, and if this is indeed a superior strategy it’s clearly worth thinking about.

  2. Btw I read somewhere recently that if she has a bf and refuses a date, but seems interested, it can work to leave her *your* number and tell her to contact you if she gets bored. I haven’t tried this but will do so on my next lot of approaches as it’s better than nothing as a last resort. I dunno how effective it would be though.

  3. It’s starting to get really warm here so im walking the downtown streets enjoying some sun.

    I see a pretty girl in a nice dress. I acknowledge I am attracted; but I also understand I cannot show too much interest. I just wanted to open naturally, but by pausing and being absolutely serious project a sexual vibe :
    “is this the first time… you are wearing a summer light dress”
    Then instadate in the park and NC.

    I dont know if that can labelled as direct… I think in DG the best option is to be congruent with yourself, the girl will feel it.

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