FR: Coffee shop game

October 16, 2009
krauserpua

Friday 16th October, at Starbucks. The boss is away so the staff are at play. Three of us go out to Pizza Express for a long lunch. We’re chatting about pick-up amongst other things. I’m into MRA these days (Mens Rights Activism) and enjoying the Spearhead site. I go for coffee and a nap.

Waking up I notice HB8 Indian 18 yr old walk in. She has that headturning female polarity where it’s all about her manner and carriage rather than bouncy tits and curvy arse. Slim, elegant, perfectly graceful movement. She’s got one of the 1930s beige raincoats on that I love. She joins the queue.

http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/9070/hb8indian.jpg

I sit on the sofa at the other end of the cafe. We catch brief eye contact, which I don’t break, but it’s far away and there’s a good chance she’s not even focused on me. Nearly the end of my lunch. I think. I haven’t done a proper coffee shop sarge. How am I going to do this?

I get up and walk to her. She’s looking at the pastries. I do the light three-finger arm turn and indicate her to remove the headphones. She does and smiles expectantly. I do my usual opener, low energy. She smiles and gives the BF defense. I ignore it, introduce myself and she starts opening up. A few IOI questions. She absentmindedly picks up a sandwich and puts it down again.

My conversation is sparse and uninvolving. I’m concentrating on energy levels (low) and good body language. She seems very comfortable, like I’m not triggering any of her safety alarms. At the till I go for the Facebook close with:

Krauser: I’m headed back now. It was really nice to meet you. Are you on Facebook?
HB8: Yes
Krauser: OK. Let’s trade details and I’ll add you
HB8: I’m not sure I should. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Krauser: Don’t worry. I’m not gonna pick you up. *opens phone*
HB8: OK
Krauser: How do I spell your name?
HB8: blah blah…… *at front of queue, orders drink, I wait* …. blah blah
Krauser: Is that right *shows phone*
HB8: Yes
Krauser: I’m guessing there’s not many of you on Facebook, a name like that
HB8: Just the one
Krauser: OK. It was very nice meeting you. You have a good day *shakes hand for third time*

Back at the office I add her immediately and send a message. She accepts quickly and replies:

Krauser: Hey. I probably surprised you a bit there. It was nice to talk to a girl with such impeccable manners. Have fun in Fiji.
HB8: That was quick
Krauser: Slow work day. Gearing up for the weekend

So why the detail on this one sarge? Things I’ve been trying / learning:

– It’s time to expand the range of sets I can open. Coffee shops are the obvious next step
– Calibration requires low energy and strong oak-tree body language because you can’t make a big DHV from jumping out in front of them
– Everybody can hear you, so keep it quiet and don’t force her to defend against social shaming
– The three-finger arm turn is nice. Non-threatening but quietly dominant. It forces them to give you their full attention
– She doesn’t have any momentum to arrest and it’s harder for her to walk away. This is a double-edged sword because you have to be more alert for IODs.

One Comment

  1. Pingback: I bump into a lukewarm lead « Krauser's PUA Adventure

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