I’m mulling ways to blast through the sticking point of getting LJBF’d / failing to k-close. I think the main cause is my lack of sexual intent. The reason I don’t project it is a subconscious fear of losing the girl by pushing things. I’ll be in a set and chatting well and just not move it on. So my first goal is this:

Visualise fucking the girl before I approach her, and then as I look her in the eyes continue thinking about fucking her.

So far, so Gunwitch. What I also learned from my verbal escalation with HB7 Somali, and the doggy dinner bowl looks I got with my NLP on some Day 2s is the power of creating sexual state in the woman.

So if I combine a projection of my own sexual state with direct NLP leading her state – WHAM BAM – a pincer claw trap of seduction. And in all things speed seduction, Ross Jeffries is king.

I’ve got his 1994 ebook and I’m learning about weasel phrases, embedded commands and anchoring. He’s also put some set routines into the Make Women Hot video I watched recently. So far I’ve just been dipping my toe in the waters. It’s time to make a splash. Here’s my favourites:

Softener + weasel phrase + command verb + state

“When I get to know someone, I like to ask questions so I can find out what they find important. I hope you don’t mind me asking this. When you meet someone and you feel an immediate intense connection…”

“Would you mind if I asked you, just for the sake of helping me understand you better. A person can often think about fantastic sex while just having normal conversation in a normal place….”

“I just want to say, and I hope you don’t find this too intrusive, what’s it like when you are sitting comfortably and totally relaxed with a man you find totally fascinating….”

I blundered into some of these before but I need to integrate it so it’s second nature. I figure I have to be safely past the hook point and in isolation. A few times I’ve thrown these in early to no effect. It’s probably also best to start with a generic NLP routine (like my boxing one) before digging deep with these personal ones.

Have you ever…
This is the super weasel phrase. The purpose is to get the girl to recall a pleasurable state and then anchor it to you.

“Let me ask you a question. Have you ever been totally fascinated with someone? Like maybe as you were there, looking at him, and you started to listen carefully, it was like his voice just seemed to wrap itself around you, and the rest of the world just disappeared. Your entire world, everything you see, is what is right in front of you. And anything he describes, you can just picture it clearly. So, you know, if he talks about a romantic walk on a moonlit beach, the waves lapping at your feet in the sand, with your perfect partner, you can see yourself there with him, just enjoying the feeling of what it would be like?”

This is meant to create fascination and put the conversation into the emotional world. From there you’ve got her captivated and she’s ready for whichever states you elicit next.

When setting out on this journey I committed myself for six months. I figured it would take that long to read the books, watch the DVDs, and do enough approaches to decide if this stuff is for real and I have the ability and cojones to acquire the skill set.

Four months in, I already have my answer. It’s a resounding yes. The questions now are more like:

(i) How far have I come?
(ii) How far can I go?
(iii) What needs to be done to get there?

Ok, let’s tackle them in order. My stats at the time of writing are: Daygame 183 opens / 56 closes, Nightgame 98 opens / 17 closes.

How far have I come?
I have approached over 250 women, taken over 70 numbers and had eight Day 2s. Skills I now possess with some competence are:

– When I see a girl I like I’ll approach her if she’s in a 1-set or 2-set, whether she’s seated, standing or walking (daygame), or in any kinds of set (nightgame).
– My daygame open is strong enough that over half the sets stop and listen to what I have to say.
– I can hook about half of those sets and get conversation going, without the need for routines, and the girl will usually IOI me.
– I routinely lock-in and bounce like it’s second nature. I get lots of compliance and where logistics allow often instadate.
– I number close about 2/3 of the girls who I hook for over a couple of minutes.
– I have an abundance mentality for opening.

That skill set in and of itself is a massive improvement on my pre-game abilities. I have the freedom to pick nearly any girl and have a reasonable chance of engaging her in conversation and maybe getting a number. Additional progress:

– I can hook about 1/3 of night game sets with an opinion opener.
– If my state is good (still reliant upon positive feedback) I can run a set with extremely dominant body language and routines.
– Once in-set, I have no concern for what other people think of me.
– I can Apocalypse open without getting a bad response.
– I can day game solo without much loss of state. I’ll still open after a run of rejections.

But I still have some pretty serious sticking points that need work. Specifically:

– I’m still showing too much outcome dependence in set, manifested in facial expression, filling silences with babble, asking too many questions, trying to number close instead of k-close, and generally worrying about losing the girl.
– I am way too tentative with my kino escalation.
– I’m not kiss closing often.
– I get LJBF’d easily, probably because I don’t open with much sexual intent. Probably because I don’t want to scare off the girl.
-It takes a long time to get into state for night game and I’m easily thrown off. I still have approach anxiety and a difficulty in transitioning from the opener to hooking.
– I don’t isolate well.
– I get many, many flakes.

How far can I go?
It’s fair to say I see no hard limit to my progress. My sticking points are all in my head and I have enough reference experiences to know I can get the hottest girls. I doubt I’ll ever get to the Mystery level of lording an entire club, or the outrageous adventures of a Tim or Jeffy. But then again I’ve had a few initial experiences of running large sets, douchebag gaming, and pushing the limits. So maybe that stuff is in my future.

For now I want to lock down the basics of one-on-one SNLs and LTRs. The rockstar success can wait.

What needs to be done to get there?
I’m basically on track. I see the path laid out ahead of me. I am mostly following RSD method with the emphasis on authenticity, inner game, and projecting value through sub-communication. I have all the materials I need to keep the intellectual side going.

I have a small nucleus of able wings to sarge with, and a route to getting more as needed. I don’t have any mentors yet but I’m getting my face known with the more experienced guys so that should come eventually. I’m doing an advanced bootcamp this weekend to get another look at top guys and direct coaching.

So I think the main strategy is to just trundle along as before. Keep approaching. Keep reading. Keep pushing myself out of the comfort zone. Then just see what happens. My motivation is as high as ever.

The biggest single leap will be when I’ve put together a couple of fuck buddies. Then the thin veneer of neediness will just melt off. I’ve come so close a couple of times so it won’t be long now.

Most people I know are supportive of my PUA adventure, and not just because they are entertained – like the way you encourage a clown to act stupid so you can laugh at the outcome. A few have directly and earnestly stated they think it’s exactly the right thing for me to do. They know my history, my recent problem, and my targets.

Strangely, two people I’d have most expected unqualified support from have been slipping between tacit support and outright hostility.

I’ve known “JP” about fifteen years mostly as a friend-of-a-friend. During the odd period or two we got closer for a while so he’s legitimately a good friend while having his primary social circle outside mine. He’s had the most success with women of anyone I know (likely triple figures) and he’s clearly a natural. When I started game I wanted him as a wing as I figured I’ve got plenty to learn from him and he’s probably the only friend I had who would actively sarge.

We did a bit of night game together (see my first Night Game FR post) and it was great fun. But snippets of conversation here and there since have made me wonder. He keeps saying stuff like “What’s the point of all this pick up theory? You aren’t getting laid” or “How can you call it a success if you’re not getting laid”. While at times winging with me, at other times he’s actively trying to belittle my efforts and dissuade me of the value of game.

At first I mirrored his hostility. I thought to myself: this guy knows I just went through a traumatic divorce that crushed me. He knows how hard I’ve tried to pick myself up again. He knows how difficult pick up is and how much dedication it takes to stay on track. So why the fuck is he trying to put me down and disillusion me till I give up? Does he actually want me to be a failure with women? Does he want me to live the rest of my life alone? What kind of friend is that?

Time passes, I learn different things and then I seem to hit on the reasons. It’s resistance. He does care about me, but he has his own issues and my gaming is forcing him to recognise them. Specifically:

He’s a natural, now in his early 30s and not having the same success he used to. His current girlfriend is charming and pretty but also 35 and hitting the wall.

His previous LTR was a fantastic girl but they didn’t quite get on and he’s been wondering if he made a big mistake breaking up with her and now it’s totally over because she’s moved in with someone else. Added to a few other big changes in his life recently, he’s reaching an existential crisis. He’s wondering what he’s going to get out of life now and when he has to settle down.

Being an ageing natural, now that he’s not able to replicate his earlier success it is worrying him. Having never consciously learned game he doesn’t have the road map to recapture the glory. So he’s wondering if he’ll have to settle for a lower quality girl rather than the hotties he used to bang in his twenties.

He’s naturally competitive. The thought that I could make rapid progress to the point where I surpass him hurts his professional pride at having always been the player of our social circle.

The other lad, “Kane”, I’ve known even longer. He was also a “natural” in his youth, though to a much lesser extent. He’s also absolutely of the beta-mangina mind set: respectful of women even when they don’t deserve it, believes game is dishonest, that shared interests and experiences are the source of attraction etc. Basically all of the stuff that game rebels against. He too genuinely wants me to be happy but finds game shaking his reality. Unlike JP, Kane worries that game is self-destructive and that I’m overcompensating from one bad experience with women to suddenly become a shallow misogynist who will just drift through life from one meaningless encounter to the next.

So while he is supportive of me trying to pull women, he thinks game is the wrong thing to do. Instead he recommends beta-chump strategy of basically doing nothing and hoping that at some point in the next fifty years some girl gets introduced to me and gives the right signals. If I’m to break it down I’d say he’s thinking like this:

He never had game so he misunderstands it. He thinks it’s about lying, manipulation and tricking a girl into bed so you take all the value and offer nothing back. In our discussions he’s literally failed to understand basic concepts that are transparently obvious for the simple reason that he doesn’t want to believe them.

He projects motives onto me which I don’t have. He projects that I’m just trying to get revenge on womankind by fucking loads of sluts from now till I’m 70.

He cut his player days short aged about twenty by settling with one girl who he’s now married with kids. This forces him to be strongly invested in the ideas of fidelity, monogamy and everlasting love. He’s never suffered the evil side of womankind and would rather deny it exists than acknowledge he could be at risk too.

They are welcome to their reality. I’ve learned not to worry about what they think. I’ve also learned that their resistance doesn’t betray a lack of friendly concern for my wellbeing.

Several years ago I got into reading Robert E Howard’s old Conan stories. They instantly struck a chord. This was a hero I wanted to be. He strode with ease through the world like everyone else was his guest. He had control of his destiny, and wandered wherever he felt like, enjoying the moment and rarely thinking further ahead than the next wench or the next flagon of ale. He didn’t start fights but he’d not back down from a challenge. He let nobody knowingly take him for a ride but if he was outsmarted he gave grudging respect and cheerfully got back on with his life.

To the modern girly-man, Conan is a savage. An anachronism. Where are his issues, his depth, his supplication to women, his social awareness? He’s a brute.

I loved these stories and sometimes wondered if I’d been born 800 years too late, like I’d be better suited in an era of swordfighters and swashbucklers. I decided to implement subtle Conan-esque behaviours into my life. Subtle, mind. Things like:

I started to communicate with my wife through grunts and shoves. She’d say something and I’d respond “unnnnn”, or I’d walk past and shoulder-nudge her so she fell onto the bed
We’d be in a shop. I’d grab the back of her neck declaring “We’re finished here” then lead her out, giving her a shove in the back.
While walking hand in hand I’d suddenly tug her closer to me, nearly pulling her off her feet.
Sometimes for no reason at all I’d pick her up and carry her across my shoulders.

Conan began to infect my body language. I’d stride rather than walk. I’d sit in an alpha position in cafes, my back to the wall and all exits in sight. I’d carelessly slop food around and not really bother wiping my mouth. I’d subcommunicate a barely suppressed wildness in everything I did, like at any moment I could suddenly pick up an axe and cleave a skull – though the victim would have to be deserving. I wanted to be an uncouth barbarian.

And I quickly noticed something. My wife absolutely fucking loved it.

Time passed and I forgot about it, got interested in other things. Now I’m doing game I’ve been casting around for how to shape my identity. Inner game requires a strong personal position. You have to know your values and be the man. I’d kinda lost that over the past couple of years and allowed myself to be pushed off what used to be a very clear path of what I wanted and why.
So now I’m re-reading the Conan stories and remembering that this is what real manhood is. Conan is part of my core. I have barbarian values. I’ve always had them. Now I’m proud of them.

I’ve been reading up on Tony Robbins lately, the tall smiley motivational speaker guy. Like most people, I’ve felt tremendous resistance to the power-of-positive-thought bunch. Being a realist and scientifically minded, it seems ludicrous that chanting a few mantras and plastering a smile on your face is gonna somehow result in a bigger car, a successful business and whatever else quick fix you’re looking for.

It’s easy to caricature things you don’t like and don’t really understand. I do it all the time because I’m a pretty judgemental person. Since talking to people about Game I’ve been astonished at how badly some people misunderstand it because they want to misunderstand it. It threatens their reality so they must find a way to dismiss it. Perhaps I need to look at the things that mess with my reality and figure out if I too am being overly dismissive.

Beginning game four months ago there was a break in the clouds. I’ve usually been locked in to my world view and confident that I’m right. With an airtight belief system new ideas were going to struggle to find a place. Then when I made the decision to game, I opened myself to new ideas. I was prepared to try things first, and judge them later.

On my first boot camp one of the classes was about creating your own state and we went out to a park to practice our “power move”. Sounds funny. A year ago if some nubbin in a pub had told me they have a power move I’d have ripped them apart for it. But now I’m standing in a park with five strangers, imagining a ball of positive state and anchoring it to a move.

[FWIW, my move is based on Kano’s victory pose from Mortal Kombat – I do a King Kong chest slap, look up to the sky and then growl like a motorbike revving up. Very animalistic]

Tony Robbins popularised the power move. I got hold of his speeches and gave them a shot. He’s big on NLP. His process is:

Beliefs -> State -> Actions -> Results

Look to successful people and model their behaviours. The mind can be reprogrammed to gradually change beliefs by reframing experiences and obtaining reference points. From that you can create state (that’s what the power move is for) so that you bring positivity to your actions. Constant repetition and right action will eventually form habits, and if these are success habits you’ll get the results you want.

Is this a magic bullet? No. It requires persistence and difficult introspection. Much of your success relies on other people’s actions which you cannot fully control. But if you know these people’s decision strategies, you can identify the actions that will resonate with them.

So how is this integrated into game:

Reference experiences modify your beliefs. You can’t just repeat “I’m a sexworthy guy” and expect your mind to accept it. You have to go out and sarge. After 250 approaches it is now integrated into my reality that I’m a guy that goes out and talks to women. I’m number-closing models, opening 2-sets, entertaining girls on day 2s. So by belief system is gradually settling into the “I’m a guy that number closes models”. My mind is accepting it.

When I see the model walking down the street, my mind allows me to be positive in my expectation of opening her. I’ve done it so many times I don’t get weirded out during the approach. She senses that. She feels I’m a guy who number closes models, so she’s not lowering her social value by giving me her number. So I get air-time to attract her. My actions are consistent with the sexworthy guy, so she perceives me as the sexworthy guy.

The self is always coming through, so this inner game work needs to be done. Pick-up isn’t about tactics and gambits. Those are just training wheels, to fill the space while you pick up the reference experiences. Think of it this way:

Outer game guy:
Indirect opener, sneak in under the radar with a female opinion opener
Run some DHV stories and routines to press her buttons
Hope this has generated some attraction
Play a number close gambit to get her number while pretending you don’t especially want it

Inner game guy:
Direct opener, introduce yourself and say you like her
Vibe about whatever is going on, getting to know each other
Be a high value guy and let the value attract her
Tell her you’d like to see her again so can you have her number

I’m not saying outer game won’t work, or that it’s not a good supplement. The way I’ve written the inner game approach sounds awfully close to AFC chump technique but its not. The chump is supplicating, outcome dependent, and shaking in his boots. The PUA has soft dominance, masculine polarity, and is just calmly putting the offer out there for her consideration.

I’m still approaching because that’s just a given. Where I’ve definitely made a change is I’m trying to do it all “natural”. I barely use routines in day game now. I just open strong and try to subcommunicate value. The content of the conversation is just whatever I feel and whatever she gives me.

I’m not there yet. I often struggle for things to say, or fall back on twenty questions. I’m not always communicating value so the girl gets bored. But I’m getting there. I’m plodding on with the skill set I want. As the inner game solidifies, this natural approach improves.