Brad is sitting on a plush leather sofa in his flashy bachelor pad in the hippest part of town. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of 20-year Scottish whiskey that cost £100 for the bottle. It’s worth it. Damn fine whiskey. He swills the brown liquid around the glass, revelling in the crackle and pop coming from the ice cubes.
Ah, this is the life!
He’s tired because he just finished another tough ten hour day at the law firm. He’s put in a solid four years at Saul White & Pinkman Associates. That’s on top of the three years at his training firm. Brad just hit 32 so he’s in the prime of his life. He’ll still make it to the gym tomorrow morning. He’ll still measure out all his supplements and weigh his food. A shot of whiskey won’t put a dent in his rock hard body. He’s been training five years now and looks great. Not quite a six pack but he’s pretty buff. Brad prides himself on his mental discipline and ability to carry through on a personal commitment to his lifeplan.
As he’s reading through the internet, he’s nodding his head. Satisfied. He’s reading City Alpha Lifestyle blog and there’s an article: 5 Reasons You Ain’t Alpha. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s buff. He’s got money. He’s dominant in his social circle. He’s wearing good clothes.
Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him: He hasn’t fucked many hot women.
Well, how could he? He’s been working sixty hour weeks most of the last ten years. When the weekend finally rolls round he’s just going to cool bars with his buddies. The career chicks who go there aren’t much to look at (or talk to). Most of his spare time is in the gym, or reading motivational material. There’s not really any time or opportunity to meet girls. The only hot girls he sees are walking down the street or sitting having coffee – and how’s he supposed to talk to them? I mean, what do you say?
It’s not so bad though. He hasn’t been truly single for more than a few months in all these years. He always seems to find his way into a relationship – at a party, at dance class, at a business trip – and the girls are quite pretty. He’s even had a few adventurous one-night stands. Indeed he’s fucked maybe twenty girls, more than double most of his friends. It’s just a shame they nearly all insist on fancy restaurants, making him wait, and then those interminable weekends in the parks, beaches and Ikea.
“No worries”, Brad thinks smugly. “I’m entering the prime of my life – Rollo told me so – so at some undefined point in the future the hotties will flock to me.”
Adam is also sitting on a sofa tonight but it’s worn and squeaky. His small loft conversion is in a grungier part of town but that’s where the best nightlife is, so it’s exactly where he wants to be. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of Jack Daniels that cost £25 for the bottle. It’s nice. He sets the glass down and lights a joint, rolling the smoke around his mouth before inhaling it to his lungs.
Ah, this is the life!
He’s tired because he just woke up. He works nights mostly and sometimes early mornings, depending on the shifts at the bar-tending job and the warehouse job he juggles to meet rent. He’s 32 and has lived in the area most of the last ten years. So he knows everyone and has a bit of a rep as one of the cooler local guys. It’s a late shift tomorrow so he’ll be working on his music all afternoon. He started learning guitar as a teenager and after fifteen years cycling in and out of various punk, indie and now rock bands he’s pretty good at it. His tattoos are still pretty cool and it doesn’t matter much that his body is turning to skinny-fat at a young age.
He’s also reading through the internet, nodding his head in satisfaction. He’s reading Dangerous Horizons blog and there’s an article he likes: 5 Reasons You’re Not Cool. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s badass. He’s got a big social circle. He doesn’t answer to anyone (except his bosses, but those jobs aren’t so important to him). He is the life of the party. Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him. He stares at it again and again, trying to figure out why:
You don’t get to date and fuck the girls you like.
Hmmmmmm. What’s wrong with that statement? Adam does a mental check. “I’ve fucked 160 girls” he counts, but then he adds “but most of them were pretty grotty.” Then his eyes light up. “That said, Talisa was hot. And Sophie. And Angela” and there’s a faint murmur in his heart as he recalls some nights of fantastic sex. The lights fade when he thinks “but they just chose me and I took what I was given. I wish that would happen more.”
“And Talisa was a fucked-up BPD loon” he remembers, and shudders.
He’s done well though, he reminds himself. Much much better than most people. Okay, so he’s completely sacrificed any chance of making money and living comfortably in his middle age. Okay, so he’s never going to be truly famous and be an alpha like Leonardo DiCaprio or Keith Richards – guys who truly do date and fuck whoever they like. And his tattooed bartender schtick will be decreasingly cool as he ages and all those nights maintaining the hip social circle will start to wear on him. But he’s had lots of fun and there’s still lots more fun to be had.
Brad and Adam are pretty happy with their lives. Years ago they plotted an “in” to women and then dedicated themselves tirelessly to it. Adding it all up, one way or another it’s been nigh on seventy hours a week each, for fifteen years. But that’s fine, because the “lifestyle” is paying off.
Simultaneously, ten miles apart, they both set down their whiskey glasses and stumble across the same article on a little-known site called krauserpua.com. They have the same instinctive reaction deep in their gut best described as “have I missed a trick?”. That gnawing fear recedes as they realise their own lives are still pretty damn good. Nonetheless they can’t help shake the feeling that if only they knew how to cold approach they’d quickly resolve that one nagging issue from the list of five.
Fortunately that entire emotional cycle takes about ten seconds and never really penetrates their consciousness. Simultaneously, ten miles apart, comes a booming clang and the heavy doors of two grandiose egos slam down the shutters together. And then a new reaction springs forth.
“Fuck me, have you seen this clown???? Hardly any money, normal body, no “lifestyle” at all. And he’s running up and down the street chasing girls like some creepy PUA. What a fucking idiot! Hahaha can’t he see what low value behaviour that is: dedicating ten hours a week, for five years, to enjoying nice conversations, dates and sex with beautiful women.
Ooooooooooo-kay, so he reckons in 2015 the average age of girl is 21 (19 years younger than him) and the average meet-to-lay is two hours. And yes, they are mostly good girls and all pretty. And yes, he gets to travel all around the world and sleep as much as he likes. And yes, he’s always choosing the girls he likes.
But, but but…… it’s so inefficient!
What a loser! Dedicating all that time and effort trying to get laid.”
Brad and Adam decide they will type in a comment to tell him precisely how much of a loser he is. And then they’ll retire to bed and ponder how awesome their lifestyle is.
October 5, 2015 at 1:44 am
With cold approach, you can both choose your targets and have more targets. Cold approach can be very time efficient. I once cold-approached 16 girls in two minutes.
I dance for cardio, weight-loss, agility, to practice my social skills, to meet people, for the aesthetics, and for my book. So cold-approach fits in well with my mission.
That said, I experimented last night with being with a group of fun guys and flirting with a waitress at a bar. I didn’t dance as much as normal, and I gave a small tip, but the waitress was very fun and flirty with me. I sexualized quite a bit and took her waist some. She wasn’t so flirty with the other guys at my table who were giving more tips even though one of them was cracking a lot of funny jokes. Does gaming waitresses fit under day game?
I also cold-approached women last night.
I talk about both cold-approach and flirting with clerks (a waitress is a kind of clerk) because it seems to me that you can adopt an eclectic approach.
October 5, 2015 at 3:34 am
The notion that it is possible for a man to fuck 160 women without inherent player value, R-selection, or cold approach, is, with respect, retarded. This part of the argument is off.
Most men, if not all men, lie to the extreme when speaking about their sexual history. +95% of Western men will never fuck more than 10 women in their whole lives, lifestyle or otherwise. R-selection is not a mentality that most men have. Just interview any Western carouseler after sex. The carousel survives through serious action on the behalf of women themselves. It won’t always be overt, but it is clear enough that the man can act with almost certainty he won’t be turned down for the lay. A man who is good-looking, or has some other type of external value without game, will have to wait for a slut in a club to seriously help him out before anything happens. Hence he “gets lucky”, once in a blue moon. He doesn’t understand the process and things “happen” to him chaotically, he doesn’t make them happen himself. But women are women, and these things will not happen frequently in a man’s life, whoever he is. They are infrequent bursts of luck. The floodgates ONLY open through cold approach and through internalizing an R-selected mindset, and at this point the value is solidified and undeniably present. Experience forges men, and any man who gets to this point will naturally incorporate other traits, such as a certain non-hateful sexism, extreme unapologetic sexuality, etc. These things are almost unthinkable in Western countries, the overwhelming majority of men are absolute fags, particularly as it relates to inner game and mindsets. They are raised on a diet of Disney mindsets that are almost impossible to shake without a fundamental transformation.
The problem here is making assumptions about the inner game of men, based just on their appearance from afar. Most men with paper alpha traits actually aren’t very successful with women, aside from random bursts of luck. This is just a fact. When a guy is putting a great deal of focus into some lifestyle hack for women (and yes, it is always for women), it is usually a compensation for failure. We’ve trained 6’5” club bouncers who couldn’t get women. The most effective guys I have met often lack the paper alpha traits, and many are loners with no friends or even a life outside of trying to fuck women. But the one thing they all have in common is extreme inner game, which is by far the most important factor on the male-SMV checklist. It is something you see in a man’s eyes, and it is easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for. Women have a greater sense for it.
This is a problematic notion, because it contradicts social programming. I had game before and after getting ripped. The transformation had no impact on my results, and I can confidently say this years later. Society is told that all these things are required, which makes it clear that it is a form of social engineering. Experience confirms that it has no biological impact whatsoever on women (with the exception of those with external referening, which comes and goes even within the same girl, and which is also a form of social engineering, generating a self-validation paradigm in the girl’s mind). The only universal biological impact is status, which comes from inherent inner game. And even when the inherent traits are there, when one doesn’t put in an active effort to capitalize on them, it is impossible to amass numbers. [Yep, I just picked a hypothetical guy who really is good with women and has succeeded with his in to try to bring out the point. Obviously there’s very few of these guys around. K.]
October 5, 2015 at 2:35 pm
You suggest in the text that the second guy has fucked lots of women, but he cannot choose women or fuck the ones he wants. It is impossible to get to that number without value, and a man like this could very much have his pick in women, at his own choice. Any man who has made to 160 girls is on par with any of the top players, because he is a top player himself. There is no way of spinning that. The guy that gets the random bursts of luck, that gets by without real value, cannot ever make it to such a high number.
October 15, 2015 at 9:42 pm
You’re neglecting the hotness of the girl. If your SMV is a 7 and you aim for 6s, you can rack up huge numbers with 6s but still have a lot of trouble with 8s and need to get somewhat lucky to sleep with them.
October 5, 2015 at 1:17 pm
I don’t totally buy this. 10 spent a week doing pickup? Are you sure? How long does it take you to go to the airport from your house to catch a flight? And how much time are you soending in the air?
2 hours from meet to lay? Sometimes it might take 4 hours to get the lay so are you saying you’ve had loads of lays within 30 minutes to even things out?
The point is not every man out there is obesssed with fucking loads of chicks. The average man might have had less then 10 chicks in his lifetime but not everyone is bothered about a conquest after conquest. Some are happy to be in a relationship where he get regular sex.
At the end of the day not everyone is looking down on others. Not every lawyer has a bad view of PUAs. And PUAs should not look down on others either. [You’re raging against something that isn’t in the text. K.]
October 5, 2015 at 3:18 pm
The point K is trying to make is that a man will naturally want to gravitate towards the least difficult path in order to get girls with as little pain as possible.
With most men, it seems to be lifestyle, because it avoids pain and harbours around women choosing you based on the value you spent years developing and building it up to that point.
It’s a fools mate because you’ll never be satisfied.
You’re essentially playing the female role and choosing from the selection pool in your environment. Society was built with this idea in mind, hence why male grooming and metrosexual culture has come into play. Men no longer have the balls to approach women directly for the fear of getting rejected.
I often say this to guys who ask for advice and i’ll say it here in case in needs reminding – As a man, if you want to feel satisfied, you must hunt for your food and push against the hardships that life throws at you. This includes fighting for what you want and the women you would like to fuck.
Nothing speaks more volumes to a girl than a man stopping her dead on her tracks and telling her with authority that he finds her attractive and would like to fuck her.
October 5, 2015 at 9:18 pm
krauser, you’ve dedicated your life to pickup and honing daygame as a skill. I respect you for it, especially as you share your insights through your blog (& sell through books & videos .. which is cool as a man’s got to eat after all). However, most guys have no interest in banging several new girls each week … its just surplus to requirements, rather like eating 7 meals a day …. its just too much consumption of something with diminishing marginal returns. If it gives you contentment its fine .. to be really good at something which I think you are, to be a pioneer and figure out new methods, you have to be obsessive and dedicate yourself 100% to something like a pro athlete, great musician or businessman like S Jobs. That’s what you are doing and it benefits us all … positive externalities for us guys. It seems rather petty though to deride everyone else in the mainstream as a chode .. people have all sorts of reasons for doing all sorts of things, its not ALL about getting laid (despite the redpill manosphere suggesting everything is about male female dynamics). I for instance enjoy stock picking … I don’t do it for the money, I enjoy the game … Im not trying to get laid from this, or generate money from it to get laid … its something I enjoy for its inherent challenge. [I’m not deriding “Brad” and “Adam” as chodes. I lay out quite good above-average lifestyles for them. That’s not the point of the post. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 5:15 am
Scotch whisky, Irish whiskey. Dig my proofreading, girls.
Post makes a great point. Anyone who’s enjoying some success with women is probably investing a ton of time in doing so, whether he realises it or not. Useful thing to remember when weighing up the investment / return balance of getting out on the streets.
October 6, 2015 at 9:55 am
Cold approach is always about going against the grain, exclusive of lifestyle.
Cheers Krauser, I swear you and Bodi are competing for best written blog post.
October 6, 2015 at 12:12 pm
This is one of the best and most thought provoking posts you’ve written K. It also just fits exactly with my favourite Donald Trump quote.
“You know, it doesn’t really matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” Esquire Magazine, 1991
You’ve wrote the following in a post years ago K and it has always stuck with me, and it resonates to a section that D’Anconia speaks about in Atlas Shrugged; ‘show me the last few women you’ve slept with, and I will show you the value of that man.’
I’m sorry to the lifestyle-game guys but K and Trump are right, the women that you get are solid indicators of your value. Who cares if it is a cold approach, high roller lifestyle, fashion / media social circle etc. Who are you as a man to judge the methods when only the end result matters?
Brad and Adam have to much invested in their ego, Brad especially. It’s funny in London to see these twenty / thirty-something mid / high earners who stroll around like they are Kings amongst men. They drop mad bucks in champagne bars on the kings road and if they are lucky will bang a frumpy secretary to show for their efforts. Compare this to the Eurojaunter who packs off to FSU to get his pipes serviced by the standard of women most western men only see in Magazines and on TV. Of course, there are the hours on the streets, the grotty apartments, the dates after dates and occasional feelings of loneliness and impending doom (or is that just me?)…. but by God is it worth it.
From now on, if you are to criticise a mans method of getting pussy you should be required to present the last 3 girls you banged. The proof is in the pudding.
October 6, 2015 at 10:01 pm
“The proof of the pudding is in the eating”.
October 6, 2015 at 1:45 pm
The essential point is that cold approach will always* increase your options and success with women, any claim otherwise is avoidance weasel and fear of looking into the mirror of truth that girls reflect back at you.
*except at high levels of fame. N/A to 99.9% of men.
October 6, 2015 at 3:39 pm
I still prefer to focus on work and gym/style – in moderation. It just feels good to be good. But cold approach is necessary and these things really imrpove your vibe and how people react to you on social totem pole and dramatically increase conversion rate making daygame fun. If you do 2 hours, approach 2 hot girls who gave you IOI…there’s strong chance you’ll fuck them /develop nice relationship and you won’t get any shit from Tier 2 girls or low self esteem girls in general. So in itself, value isn’t that important, but like attracts like. And Tier 2 girls feel bad when you throw real world value and some integrity in their face. Like a vampire hit by light. [So you’ve finished talking shit about me on Riv’s blog? K.]
October 6, 2015 at 4:36 pm
Xman … what are you talking about? How many guys into daygame are going to get 2 IOIs from HOT girls.. they probably don’t get any IOIs from anyone. That’s why they need to do daygame … anyone who is getting genuine IOIs from hot girls shouldn’t be using LDM anyway.
Also your stats are faulty … even from an IOI your chances of a Lay are not 100% .. infact they are nothing like 100%. Your analysis sounds like BS PUA analysis which causes confusion in the PUA echo chamber. [Correct. You have to know how to spot and act on IOIs but if you base your game off that you’re going to massively underperform no matter how your value is. As I’ve seen from watching guys who go in off IOIs – as well as my own experience – all it means is the girl was interested. Not attracted, not horny, not available. Simply interested. It massively improves the odds but does so at the cost of drastically shrinking the pool of options. It’s valid but far from a panacea. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 4:49 pm
IOI’s can be very weak and still valid. And a well dressed man with good body/posture who gives the right impression and is in a good mood because his life is in order gets some IOI’s in that timeframe.. I don’t think IOI’s are mythical unicorns, but the ability to read/force them is underdeveloped. Or maybe you live in a wrong place. Also, I don’t think guys need to do daygame because they get no IOI’s. It’s because they want “younger, hotter, tighter”. Guys who get no IOI’s ever will have hard time in daygame as well. To me, daygame just opens you to more women of a quality you want, and an opportunity to show good masculine characteristics in more concentrated fashion to these women, through this action and the set progression . Everything is “daygame”, it’s just sometimes it’s long, convoluted process of “social circle game” or whatever, with it’s own ups (initial familiarity) and downs (too much familiarity, social norms) , but pretty much only downs.
[I’ve bolded the key line. This is what the daygame haters can’t comprehend. Daygame is on the one hand a value delivery mechanism. It’s a structured pattern designed to very quickly convey the kind of value it might take a non-daygamer literally days to convey. On the other hand, it is value in and of itself because girls enjoy the process of being skillfully seduced and often marvel at your ability to do so and the confidence and skill required to execute the model. Lastly, the daygame journey forces you to reorganise your personality more dramatically than other types of game because it’s so naked in the daytime. Daygame haters are dumbasses who cling to the idea that it’s about simply rolling the dice without any kind of nuance or long-term feedback loops. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 4:40 pm
Well…I found this post interesting and what’s the point of contributing in offesive way anyway. I still think your methods/way of teaching (in the books) aren’t optimal for any level of guy, newbie or experienced, but whatever, the pool of interesting contributors is small. And the ideas are close enough on a large scale. Honestly what made me post was what you posted on twittter on girls being normal, not chasing alphas and not being promiscuous. This has huge implications to what was said/encouraged in the past – spinning plates, no emotional investment, defensive, jealous, suspicious mindset of “good girls are bad girls who haven’t been caught” etc. [Jimmy has a great post on this topic. Both sides are true because girls are on a spectrum of r/K. Overkill daygame is meant to exploit the r side and filter for it. It’s not the only way and my more recent game has been about trying to quickly identify where the girl lies on the spectrum so that I can switch up my style away from Overkill if she’s giving me strong K signals. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Thanks, I’ll read the articles, Jimmy wasn’t really on my radar. What if she’s Tier 2, top beauty, cold, unpredictable, annoying behaviour with highs and lows, low attention span.. You still go through using the more aggresive version? I personally want some level of “respect”, it’s internal part of joy of the process – these women simply can’t provide this respect and drain my energy. Something like Frank Sinatra’s Oneitis article by Christian McQueen. I used to laugh it off/ ignore/ tell her my boundaries and be persistent or even overwhelm her with love bubble, but it rarely ended well in terms of my personal satisfaction. The low self esteem mask dropped off short term and then they put it back on, at best. [I always screen out the Tier 2 cunts if they won’t put out quick. They are just unpleasant people. Anyone who thinks my daygame involves enabling princess behaviour hasn’t read me closely. I’d rather find a girl who plays it straight, even if that is just a Maybe. K.]
October 10, 2015 at 4:29 pm
“so that I can switch up my style away from Overkill if she’s giving me strong K signals. ”
Do you have a rough guideline for what you would consider a K oriented girl vs an r oriented girl; ie less than 3 dates equals more r oriented? Also, do you agree with the view of some PUAs that any girl, even the most K selected girl, can be seduced in r-selected fashion if the guy’s game is good enough? That’s a somewhat cynical view but I wrestle with it sometimes.
October 6, 2015 at 5:08 pm
Btw, “A Personal Map to the Sexual Marketplace | Socrates” on Youtube. Different perspective for sure. His “marketplace graphs” are interesting. [I flicked through and saw it might be interesting so I might check it. Unfortunately he came across as a typically pompous 21 Convention faker guru in first five minutes so I turned it off. I might try again. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 6:11 pm
I guess it’s something along the line of Jimmy’s K/r post. He adresses various areas in the marketplace – what happens when you really put all effort into “game” (The assumption being the social qualities aren’t improved and you do dominant, but miscalibrated game and improve looks/fashion)- where the goal is to basically fuck low esteem, sometimes hot girls -, the dangers if your personality is not developed, Tier 2 dangers etc, and offers his solution for the average or less than average guy – balanced approach to improving both social – teamwork, management, intimacy…and sexual skills – body, fashion, status displays…and finding a girlfriend also scoring top marks in both categories. We could call her K-selected, pleasant, hot girl, preferably with shared purpose. There are good graphs how it all looks from a position of hot chick in terms of options/goals, from a position of “aplha” – which chicks chase him and what’s left to the average man etc.
October 10, 2015 at 6:22 pm
I just watched these and they are good and informative. However, I would say that his view of PUA extends only to a flawed understanding of the Mystery Method era. He doesn’t have the same view of PUA that Krauser does so he thinks that PUA can only get you low self esteem bar chicks. I don’t even know where he would put Nick in his chart. Also, he doesn’t factor in the PUA concept of mLTR or the equivalent; ie he doesn’t deal with the fact that some high value men can get multiple women for some period of time without offering monogamy.
What the better PUAs have shown is that they can up their personalities and their charisma to such a degree that they can get high value women either for a “secret society” short term fling or for some type of non-monogamy short term arrangement. I don’t think he factors that into his approach. But then he isn’t a PUA offering game advice. He seems to be offering specific advice on how to make you a better man for purposes of finding an LTR and for keeping it. His view is helpful but not that valuable if your goal is to be the best player you can be. [I’m 35 minutes in and it’s a load of shit. I might fisk it. K.]
October 6, 2015 at 6:53 pm
Bravo, your day game is more efficient than lifestyle. But you have a flexible career in the largest city in Europe, with lots of tourists who get slutty on vacation. What about smaller cities with a hostile populace like Toronto or Washington, D.C.?
Importantly, your progress was expedited by advice and emotional support from your London Daygame Crew. Any recommendations for a solo guy who is less articulate and learns slower?
Finally, how will you adapt as you age and are forced to approach older English women instead of young, slutty tourists?
October 7, 2015 at 9:32 am
I think the point K is trying to make here is that you should enjoy YOUR process of getting girls, whether it be daygame, high roller game, rock star game, or what have you. But then you also have to accept the pros and cons of that game.
October 7, 2015 at 8:28 pm
Fine irony, Krauser. It’s always a lot of work, all in all, but in daygame the most skilled men really do win.
October 10, 2015 at 3:38 am
Why do young guys today suck at game when there is so much information available? There are so many infields that if you are even of average intelligence all you have to do is imitate the guy you’re watching. It shouldn’t be that hard. I say this as a late 40 something who suffered during the late 80s and 90s when there was nothing out there of any substance; only Ross Jeffries and he was buried and weird on top of it. I know you have to approach to get good. But knowing the female psychological terrain is damn important. Young men today have so much wisdom at their disposal with you, CH, Rollo, mainstream PUA, RSD, Torero, etc, etc, infinitum.
I just can’t conceive of why men aren’t all above average at game. Is the culture that much more feminist then 20 years ago? Could there be such change so quickly? When we were young in the 90s there were still masculine men around. The problem is that unless you were a natural you just didn’t understand female psychology and its beyond one man to figure it all out. It took the existence of a community.
April 3, 2019 at 6:37 am
Are you still able to get girls at this middle age, man?
October 11, 2015 at 11:50 pm
This post uses an argumentum ad absurdum to make the point that the claim that cold approach is inefficient is a bogus criticism. Both examples that Mr. K uses are inefficient based on other metrics. Brad and Adam both spend a lot of time working. I can see how Mr. K weaves cold approach into his work, similar to the way I do, but I don’t see how this will necessarily apply to most men like Brad and Adam if they were to start doing cold approach.
October 16, 2015 at 7:27 pm
hahaha, nice try Krauser; here’s the reality:
John is a ‘PUA’ and picks his mating market as whatever he can find on the street.
Ben is a “PUA’ and picks his mating market as the university campus scene (house parties, student union events etc) or the jazz music circuit, or the EDM scene, or the theatre scene, or the backpacking scene, or the london modelling scene, or the ski-instructor scene or absolutely anything other than the vagaries of the streets.
Cold approaching girls on the street is unequivocally an inefficient way of bedding women. Better uses of ones time are spent cultivating entrance to and status within niche mating pools like the university scene, music scene, theatre scene, modelling scene, etc. While cold-approach can be great for acquiring and sharpening one’s skills, it’s not great for exercising those skills to bed lots of women.
Don’t make the mistake of looking at what you get as being the be all and end all, you also have to look at what you could have gotten i.e. opportunity cost for that same amount of time/effort. [Dream on, fronter. K.]
October 17, 2015 at 8:18 pm
There’s nothing dreamy or ‘front’ worthy in what I wrote — it’s reality. Unlike most of your keyboard-warrior readership, I’ve Gamed regularly at two local universities, in my home town and often spend my weekend nights at either London, Birmingham or Nottingham.
All you’ve done in your post is describe a proactive PUA with an aimless imbecile. Why not compare proactive PUA who chooses the streets with another proactive PUA who chooses some other niche?
We can discuss this back and forth, but what I’ve learnt from meeting guys is that their rationalisations for sticking to the streets (well beyond the skill building phase) is to circumvent the mating market and remain social outcasts without putting in the effort to expand their Game to carving out and dominating a particular mating market. The reality is that they’re still deeply afraid — afraid of other guys, afraid of rejection, afraid of failure. In contrast, the streets are warm and fuzzy: there’s nothing but you and the (scarce) girl.
You have the skills, Krauser, knows the time to start investing your effort into entering and dominating a particular mating niche. But I don’t see you doing it because you’ve got too much of your identity invested in being an online day game pickup instructor/guru/coach. [You clearly know nothing about the lifestyle I lead and why I do so, even though it’s blindingly obvious to anyone reading this blog. Thus I conclude you’ve done a “skim and shriek” of the content. K.]
October 19, 2015 at 12:51 am
cmon Krauser, you unfairly associated valid criticisms of the cold-approach street pickup with imbeciles using them as a crutch to weasel themselves out of doing the real work involved in Gaming. You created a distorted false dichotomy. If all you are doing is mocking the imbeciles then fine, ignore my points but otherwise they stand.
In my experience, it’s not the Brads and Adams who yell “street cold-approach isn’t efficient”, they’re too busy being content banging the girls they already have access to — it’s guys active within the PUA (day game) community who are irrationally claiming the streets to be some type of efficiency-hack. Hitting the streets is better than nothing, but if you’re still doing it for years on end, you’re doing something wrong.
October 19, 2015 at 12:54 am
and btw, I’ve been reading your blog long enough to have you mostly pegged: you’ve moulded yourself to be a quintessential British charmer with a brutish edge (think Hugh Grant spliced with Jason Statham), necessitated by the mostly european girls you approach to play into their favour of the idolised British man. You’re largely an introvert who spends his time roaming the streets of some european country in-between dippings of a detective novel in a rustic cafe. After a stint of that you enjoy retiring to the winters of Newcastle to catchup on the latest Call Of Duty (your inner Japanophile-geek would have no less) and restock the bank balance. Sound about right? Along with all this, I’d say that it’s your age and lack of skills outside of IT/Finance that has you essentially relegated to the streets as your market and to protect your ego you’ve constructed an absurd rationalisation about it all being “efficient”. Indeed, most of the people in this community are so late into the game that the only markets they can realistically penetrate is the streets.
In any case, If I were in your shoes, (and allow me to toss you my 2 cents) I would spend 50-100 hours learning to play jazz piano/guitar well enough (which practically means knowing 10-20 songs) to play in selected local jazz bars on weekday nights. Many have open nights and welcome live performances, especially if you pitch yourself as doing it for free. I know you enjoy jazz, and weekdays attract many hot young uni girls. I’ve seen this happen at a Birmingham jazz bar and I can see you crushing it in a place like that. An hour or two a week at a local jazz bar (or heck, even local university student unions) on a day that attracts hot young uni girls — that’s an example of entering and dominating a niche mating market and it’s far far more efficient than spending that same time on the streets. And I’ve said nothing of the benefits on your self-esteem of learning an instrument and doing live performances of music you enjoy — a skill you can take to any country and leverage to access hotter, younger and tighter girls. [Ok, I’ll grant I was hasty to dismiss you as a concern troll. I can’t see how the jazz set-up you outline could do any more than earn a handful of warm open opportunities per week at the cost of lots of time and forcing me to stay in one town. K.]
October 20, 2015 at 1:38 am
“…I can’t see how the jazz set-up you outline could do any more than earn a handful of warm open opportunities per week at the cost of lots of time and forcing me to stay in one town. K.”
Those handful of warm open opportunities are from hot, young and tighter (HYT) university girls… take a minute to let that sink in. Isn’t the point of all this to bang HYT girls? And wouldn’t anything that made it easier, and maximised your opportunities, for doing so be a rational avenue to pursue?
Those initial 50-100 hours of investment are nothing compared to the gains of having the enamoured and awe filled eyes of uni girls looking up at you — you’re the cool, worldly and interesting older guy who plays at their jazz bar and they want to fuck you. All we’re talking about here is leveraging a high status position in a small pool filled with HYT girls.
Think about the same time you’ve spent on the streets (including the idle cafe time) and paying money (a token of your time and energy) to fly your long-game european girls into London.
I don’t see how you’d be forced to stay in one town. There’s small jazz-type bars and cafes everywhere and it’s as simple as saying “hey, I love jazz music, I enjoy your bar. One of my hobbies is playing jazz guitar and I’d be happy to play here for a night or two. I’ll do it for free since I enjoy playing to a crowd. I’ve already played at x, y and z.” The best way to find them is to check student union websites for their night events and note down the indie/jazz bars then branch out from there.
I just gave an example, the nuances will need to figured out in the field; learning to play a musical instrument is just another skill, arguably one of the best to leverage in order to dominate a particular niche filled with HYT girls.
I think you need to see this for yourself to gauge its value. Go to any local live music venue, preferably in the indie or jazz or rock genre, and note the star-gazed look on the girls towards the performers. The performers could be broke, jobless, lazy, beta smucks but in that venue, for 1-2 hours, they are superstars and that’s all they need to hook the HYT girls. You’d hook them just as well and with your skillset, you’d crush it. [This is a fantasy. The only way those girls are wowed is if you (i) have actual talent (ii) have a local rep. Both need to be painstakingly built up with time, effort and lots of luck. i.e. not simply “50-100 hours”. Otherwise you’re just “that mediocre dude on stage”. K.]
October 22, 2015 at 6:26 pm
No, that’s not how it works in the real world. Define “talent”; we’re not talking Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hours rubbish; 50-100 hours is sufficient. We’re talking about playing a few songs well enough to get on stage and perform for the purpose of achieving a high status position in a small venue that attracts HYT girls. That’s it.
It’s this very closed-boxed thinking that’s kept you relegated to the streets, and why it makes it so much easier for guys like me to exploit the types of markets I do.
Like I said, visit a local live venue and you’ll see for yourself. [If that’s working for you, go for it. I don’t see it myself. K.]
October 24, 2015 at 11:16 pm
Many people overestimate the time required to seem proficient in, and enjoying playing, a musical instrument. I did too. I immediately thought that either I practise enough to become the next Jimi Hendrix or I don’t bother. Here’s something that helped me correct my assumptions: http://fourhourworkweek.com/2012/12/11/how-to-play-the-guitar/
February 26, 2016 at 10:56 pm
“But, but but…… it’s so inefficient! What a loser! Dedicating all that time and effort trying to get laid.”
Sure, I get the point: that the men saying that are the actual losers.
But neither does the the PUA lifestyle appeal to me.
Here’s what I want: A girl of around 25, white, and at least a 7, to start a family with and live happily ever after. I’m 60, white, single, and with modest financial resources. Is there anything in this scene of relevance to me? An honest question. [Probably not. That age gap is a huge ask, and I can’t imagine beginning daygame at 60 is wise. You’ll need money or status game to land a 25-yr old white 7 and because its not charisma-based you have to accept her cheating on you. K.]
February 27, 2016 at 1:51 am
Thank you very much for your response. That leaves me with a very serious problem, since my obsessive thoughts, 24/7 feelings of frustration, low self-confidence, and the fact that women much older than that leave me totally cold, makes bettering my situation, and life itself, difficult. [If it’s that bad, go to Phillipines. You’ll do just fine there. No shame in that. K.]
February 28, 2016 at 3:19 am
Like I said, I want a white woman, and I’m not interested the PUA lifestyle (casual encounters). [You might as well say you want a 6-pack and don’t want to diet. K.]
February 28, 2016 at 8:22 am
To be fair Krauser he did say he didn’t want to get into the ‘PUA Lifestyle’ (not that he wasn’t willing to get some tips from game). He correctly assumes the PUA Lifestyle is all about getting women into bed .. Lets be honest!
There’s a lot of variability within the info provided. You could be a handsome 60 or a shambles 60 … that’s going to make a lot of difference. On the other side of the coin, why do you want a 25 year old? What on earth are you going to have in common with someone at that point in life? Can you not stretch this criteria out to say 45 .. this would make the equation come into the realm of possibility. I know several attractive white middle aged women who have dated men in their early to mid 60s … no issues.
February 28, 2016 at 5:01 pm
“You might as well say you want a 6-pack and don’t want to diet. K.”
Thanks again for continuing the conversation. I do respect your expertise in your chosen field.
I don’t understand the metaphor, unless you are saying that going to Asia is the “dieting.” I did say that I want bride; that’s no mere aesthetic preference. I’m a conscious and unapologetic racist. I know you play at being one, but, of course, you are nothing of the sort.
I’m willing to embark on a program (the dieting, in your metaphor) if I felt it would help me achieve my goal. Everything else I’ve tried (books, courses, stupid dancing classes and dating sites) has only managed to lighten my wallet.
“You could be a handsome 60 or a shambles 60 … that’s going to make a lot of difference.”
Yes, and I am well-maintained: flat abdomen, optimal weight, joint flexibility and skin condition (staying out of the sun) good for my age, paleo (and minimal) diet, don’t drink, never smoked or indulged any other substances of choice. I wouldn’t call myself handsome, though; more along the lines of Krauser’s bald potato-ness (his words. I have a youthful openness and curiosity (that many young people don’t have, actually).
“On the other side of the coin, why do you want a 25 year old?”
1. The women that are much older than that (say, over 32) don’t spark any subconscious response from inside me.
2. I want to have children, as many, and as healthy, as possible.
So, no, stretching the criteria to a 45-year old won’t do it. I already have had the opportunity; it couldn’t possibly work, I would end up hating her for not being what I really want, and not being able to give me what I want. And, I have no interest in providing a home for some other man’s abandoned offspring. [Put simply, you want something which is extremely difficult to get – as a 60yr old guy with no track record in Game, you want a prime-SMV prime-race girl to marry you. Well, yeah. And so do all those other guys. If you want to pull this off you’re going to need to have either (i) something special about you that puts you above the relevant competing me or (ii) revise your expectations downward. I don’t know you so can’t comment on (i). As for (ii) you have to compromise by strategies such as a) going to SEA where little island filipinas really do view you as a catch, because their other options look like Manny Pacquiao without the muscle or money. b) a gold-digger from FSU or LatAm who will take you in return for the lifestyle you provide. Both are suboptimal but you’re not giving yourself many options. K.]
February 28, 2016 at 8:39 pm
Cant work out whether you are for real … guessing you’re probably a troll from a PUA hate website as the alternative is you are an utterly deluded idiot. Your age makes it even more laughable as one would think that after a certain number of years on the planet you’d expect some insight about the outside world …. apparently not in your case.
What you are looking for is not going to happen … Krauser is being diplomatic but you don’t have a chance in hell of getting what you are asking for, if you want proof approach 5 randomly selected 25 year old girls and see what happens. GL!
February 28, 2016 at 5:03 pm
Correction: I meant “a white bride.” Sorry for the error.
July 21, 2016 at 9:42 pm
so the moral of the story is to remain balanced in both your career and generating leads? Most of the people I grew up with now are grinding away in the city, impeccable fashion etc basically a higher beta as you mentioned before. When I’m out with them in a social environment and I get larky with the birds they always act like little excitable kids on christmas morning unwrapping prezzies asking me how can I be soo bold lol. It’s easy to take our skills for granted!
June 14, 2017 at 6:59 pm