My alarm rudely awakened me at 10am, and I rushed through my morning shower and breakfast with a spring in my step then arrived on time at the station to meet Johnny and Jimmy. After half an hour or so of Jimmy complaining that there were no hot girls around, Johnny went off and did a demonstration, plucking the phone number from a cute blond girl in five minutes or so. We were watching him from a distance thinking, “Is this really happening?” Then he sauntered back, phone in hand, grinning. We were dumbfounded.
Johnny would later confide that he was shitting himself. Jimmy was there to check out his game and report back to the team if he was good enough.
He pulled us to one side down a quiet street and taught us the basic approach, which goes thus:
- Let hot girl walk past you, letting her put a few metres in front of you;
- Chase her with a playful jog until you are alongside her and slightly ahead, so she catches you in her peripheral vision;
- Circle in and jump right into her path, smiling;
- As she stops say, “Hi. I just saw you walk by, and I knew I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t come over and talk to you. You’re gorgeous”;
- Lean back, look a little inscrutable, and say, “So… Who are you?”
If I hadn’t just seen it work, I wouldn’t have believed it. There seemed so much wrong with it when compared to what I thought I knew about women:
- You can just interrupt women who are going about their day?
- You can just tell a girl, right off the bat, that you think she’s attractive?
- Girls will just give up their phone number after a few minutes?
- And this is done… sober? With people walking past all the time?
I, and the other poor students, couldn’t process it. We felt like having watched a magic show and then the magician comes over and explains the trick. There were so many mental barriers that I couldn’t take it in, even though I’d already tried a few days talking to girls in parks and shops. I said to Johnny, “I find it difficult to open a moving target. It feels like they have their stuff to do and I’m just interrupting, getting in their way”. His response really stuck with me: “That’s tough to answer because it’s not even in my reality. I’m offering them the value, the opportunity to know me.”
This was a major shift in thinking. In the community we call it a “reframe”, a way of replacing a given interpretation of a situation with a new interpretation that is more favourable for you. From an early age boys are constantly drilled with variations of the same message—“You must earn the right to a girl’s intimacy.” In contrast, girls are taught to feel entitled to men pandering to them.
- It’s the knight who risks life and limb to rescue the damsel in distress;
- It’s the prince who must win over the princess;
- It’s the man who must put the roof over the family’s head;
- It’s the men who fight and die in wars to protect the women.
When a little boy cries because he can’t handle the pressure he’s told to “man up” and “pull his weight” whereas the crying girl is sympathised with and given “understanding.” This is just biology. Men give, women receive. It’s the extravagant privilege of being born with a vagina. Back in 2009 this seemed desperately unfair to me, whereas in 2014 I understand being born with a penis is an even more extravagant privilege… if you know Game.
Most men’s frame when hitting on girls is: She has the value, how can I convince her I’m good enough to put my penis into her magical vagina? Johnny believed the opposite—when he meets a girl he’s giving them an opportunity. Woah!
I wished I could internalise that belief.
Johnny went on to say that much of day game is about just creating the opportunity for the interaction. Some girls are going to like you, but if you don’t open then you don’t find out. You have to be in it to win it. These days we call this “flipping stones”, finding out which girls like you immediately based on a quick once-over. It’s an order of magnitude more difficult to turn around a girl who is initially uninterested, which is what I’d later get good at.
Johnny and Jimmy pushed me into six “sets” (new interactions with girls) over the next hour. I didn’t get any numbers but only one interaction was a crash’n’burn where a girl gave me an “eye roll” blowout. Lack of confidence and clumsiness of the execution hamstrung me, but I didn’t care. I found myself overly interrogating the poor girls with rapid-fire questions so much that one girl actually asked if it was an interview. The last two girls showed me engagement rings but smiled at my approach.
And then it was 2pm and all over. We all sat in a pub for a celebratory pint, telling our little war stories before the next night game session began. We had that manic glow of excitement, like having been shot at and missed. The main takeaway was that by the end of the session I felt as if I could do this. I could jump in front of moving girls and open. That was a massive improvement, the magic bullet I was looking for. My next seventy day game approaches were built upon this base.
I’d continue to practice night game, but the seeds were sown for my daygame career.
End of Chapter One
Next installment (Chapter Two part one) in three days. Balls Deep full book available in PDF here for £10 and paperback here for £20
March 1, 2015 at 3:35 am
I love day game and friendly white girls with big tits. What cities can you reccomend?
March 1, 2015 at 7:10 am
March 1, 2015 at 7:10 am
March 1, 2015 at 8:21 am
No I thought DC or Portland OR would be better-wanker. European cities are all aid consider-N America sucks except for NY Vegas and SoCal.
March 2, 2015 at 3:56 am
haha couldn’t resist
March 1, 2015 at 3:33 pm
Just bought the PDF of this. It’s like “The Game” but more gritty, realistic and lacking the LA glamour bullshit. As well as being entertaining it’s very informative to read about your key learning points, and your insights about where you were going wrong now that you have the benefit of hindsight.
I think the best point is that you emphasize just how hard it is for an average guy to succeed at game. I always knew it would be tough. I set out giving myself a whole year to get reasonable at it. Within 6 months that was revised to 2 – 3 years, and that estimate proved fairly accurate. I’ve met LSS guys who take 2 weeks off work in the summer to, “Get this area of my life sorted” and I inwardly chuckle at how naive they are in their estimation of the effort required. You do have to make it a major focus of your life for a couple of years. Many of my early wings would come out and do bar game for a couple of weekends on the trot then for the next few weeks wouldn’t come sarging because of social or family engagements. Although I understand them wanting some balance in their life, I knew these guys would never get good at game. You need to live an unbalanced life (in the short term) if you are ever to get really good at something difficult like game.
March 1, 2015 at 4:09 pm
@betapua It’s taken me 5 years to get reasonable at game. I’m banging girls, my confidence is up but the sticking point is that either I get bored of the girls or they somehow get spooked about something and leave. But the interactions and banging are much more satisfying. Every time I go out I meet girls to the point I’m being much more selective in who I bang.
March 1, 2015 at 4:53 pm
whereas in 2014 I understand being born with a penis is an even more extravagant privilege… if you know Game.
Let’s improve this.
even though I have a penis, massive muscles, a more logical mind, and am more valuable than a woman, I have been programmed to believe that I have less value than a woman; hence my betatude; I need to de-program myself of the propaganda pushed by the Feminine Imperative and realize my inherent masculine value
It’s the Masculine Imperative reframe. Better than the Game reframe. We return to two genders, once we establish the Masculine Imperative in the minds of men. [Problem is, thinking like that is pussy repellent. That’s one of the points made in my book – getting too much into sexual politics kills your vibe and you turn into an angry internet moron. Not accusing you of that, but be careful of it. Vibe > Agreement from angry internet men K.]
March 2, 2015 at 9:00 am
You do not have more value than a woman
March 2, 2015 at 1:36 pm
March 2, 2015 at 1:34 pm
I don’t discuss politics with women. However, I have internalized the MI. Internalizing the MI causes a man’s frame to give off many subtle cues that he has high value. It’s a DHV generator. Women come onto me all the time without me trying. Mostly 6’s, but even an 8 not long ago.
I’m working on a book about social dancing and relationships. I’m married and go out dancing solo; I’m not catting. Obviously, women assume that I am. My dancing is also for weight loss, improving my social skills, building a social circle, and Dread to keep Mrs. Gamer on her toes. I am quite reserved when I’m out clubbing; I have to be or women can get troublesome. I get lots of material for my book without flirting much with women. Very little incidental kino, very little chatting as well to keep things light and pleasant.
Friday, a friend remarked that a cute redhead was doing incidental kino on me. Saturday a brunette was dancing with me a lot; I was wearing my ring and she was out with her mother (who wouldn’t dance with me, lol, probably cuz she assumed that I was catting). The brunette wasn’t made up well and seemed introverted; could have been very pretty. I don’t typically get on well with introverted women. She was not shy or quiet, though. [Let me know how you get on with the book. I’ve internalised the MI, but I don’t think that’s the same thing as thinking I have more value than women. It’s more about living life for yourself rather than others, and recognising natural alliances. K.]