For the last few months I’ve frequently commented on the apparent conundrum that there are few good daygamers coming up through the ranks. Daygame instruction is the best it’s ever been (and about to get better with some upcoming 2014 releases), the whole path is mapped out…. and yet few success stories.
So allow me to introduce a success story.
I first noticed @chaoticgreat when Rivelino started retweeting him. Over the course of a few months he posts five +1s, all daygame, and one of them an SDL. Hmmmmm….. that’ll make an old hand’s ears prick up. So I got in touch and asked him to share his story of daygame in Madrid. He’s asked me not to give away anything to harm his anonymity so just visualise an early-twenties Spaniard who looks a bit like a local footballer and you’ll get the picture.
Qu.1 – Can you tell me a little about how you heard about daygame and what pushed you from “interested” into committing to some approaches?
It all started last summer when by chance I found a manosphere community (The Red Pill subreddit) and began obsessively reading everything I could get my hands on. Thank god I did. For 21 years I had been unaware of how much of chump I had been and how unattractive some of my behaviours were.
As it usually happens, the pendulum swung the other way and I became an narcissistic asshole. I got better with time as my personality came through the dark triad guy I was trying to project. I think this happens to most beginners.
I fell in love with he idea of bettering and after coming back from an study abroad program I began “working on my value”. I would work out, eat well and try to be the alpha guy in the room. But I wasn’t getting laid. I kept telling myself how I needed to look better, be better to get laid. As you’ve mentioned in your blog, this is just an excuse. Since I had always sucked at night game I figured daygame would be more appropriate for my personality and decided to try it out. Quoting porn and masturbation was a big motivation to start doing approaches.
For the first few days I would walk around town weaselling out or doing lame indirect approaches. I knew I wasn’t gonna get laid by asking where the nearest Starbucks was and even though I could talk to girls, I couldn’t seduce them. Everything changed when I contacted Rivelino (@alpharivelino), who I found on Twitter and read was also in Madrid. I met up with him and he showed me how to properly yadstop and taught me the London Daygame Model. Having him as a wing and game teacher was of huge help. Once I got a set of rules to follow and was able to see him approach I felt much more comfortable.
We started daygaming several times a week and still game together. I became obsessed with daygame, going out several times a week sometimes for as long as 7 hours. Now I do around 30 approaches a week.
I recently started recording my sets to get better feedback and see where I can improve. I was able to consistently hit the streets by realising that I was using an excuse not to approach and by finding an experienced daygamer that took me under his wing and pushed me constantly.
Qu.2 – You told me you didn’t really have a “beginners hell” phase. Can you talk a little about your early results and what you brought from your normal life that fitted well to daygame?
I had always been a social and outgoing person but wasn’t successful with girls because I kept self-sabotaging myself. I consider myself a good conversationalist and can make people laugh. All of this helped me in the approaches.
Rivelino made sure I wouldn’t weasel out of sets so I lost my approach anxiety in a couple of days. I imagine this is what being on a bootcamp is like. I was able to have fun conversations from the get go and very soon started getting numbers. Those first sets weren’t that good but it didn’t matter. The approach itself was such a display of courage to the Spanish girls that even boring conversations without clear intent would result in numbers.
I was lucky to get early validation and that pushed me to continue. Having great logistics helped too. Mostly because I couldn’t use it as an excuse not to escalate and felt like I had to take advantage of my living situation. I never went through a period of absolutely sucking and the rush of walking up to the girls and getting some smiles was becoming extremely addictive. External validation hits, as Riv calls them.
I feel like all the right pieces were there, I just needed to focus my attention on approaching and following the model.
Qu.3 – Let’s have a story about the first time you realised you could bang some hot girls and became a Daygame Believer. Also, contrast it with an example of a really frustrating failure.
I became a believer by reading blogs like yours. Field reports of SDLs and bathroom sex stories. I was never skeptical of the efficacy of game and was getting numbers and good reactions from girls early on so I knew it was possible.
It was probably after my first daygame lay that I viewed it as a very valid and efficient way to have sex with quality girls.
The funny thing is that this first lay could also be considered one my most frustrating failures. She was a very hot Romanian girl in her late twenties. She had a great body and a very sexy walk. I did what Rivelino calls a “blind yadstop” and approached her having only seen her back. My mindset was to just talk to her to become comfortable with the hotter girls, I expected nothing to get out of it.
She spoke no English and knew very little Spanish. We communicated mostly through Google Translate, which allowed me plenty of time to come up with good responses to shit tests. Since I couldn’t say much all I did was look intensely at her while repeating “I’m gonna fuck you” in my head. It worked!
We met up and after some awkward moments where she kept saying I was rude (which I now view as a good sign) and failed escalations I was able to get her back to my place. Things seemed to be progressing nicely but I was very nervous. I wasn’t quite sure how to make it happen and decided to follow the advice on the book (Daygame Mastery that is) and picked her up and threw her on the bed (I almost fell on a coffee table with her in my arms hahah). Laying on top of her I could hear my mind saying “what if you don’t get hard?” and, of course, went completely limp instantly. Fuck! Not as embarrassing as I thought because she was blaming herself for not being able to turn me on. Fascinating how insecure every woman is regardless of her looks. Imagine having a hot Romanian looking at you with puppy eyes asking “me not sexy for you?”. Poor girl.
Anyways I tried doing some mediation and relaxation exercises but couldn’t seem to get it up. I convinced her to suck on my limp dick and see if the stars would align. I got a half decent erection and decided to go for it mostly to make it count. To finally be able to say I banged a girl from daygame. I wanted the reference experience for future lays. I couldn’t feel much with the condom on and explained and convinced her to try raw and see if it would help. It didn’t really but showed how a turned on woman can be easily convinced. The whole thing seemed like an awkward American Pie sex scene and after a while I told her to leave and that we should try some other time. Huge sexual failure but great daygame progress. It was my first complete run of the model so I wasn’t too devastated by the whole thing.
A couple of days passed and I noticed red spots on the head of my dick. WTF. I’m scared shitless and go to see my urologist as soon as I could. Turns out the bitch gave me a yeast infection. Fucking cunt. I treated it for a month and it was gone but that month all I could think is how much of an idiot I was for not wrapping it up.
A few weeks later I bumped into her walking with her mom during a daygame session. It was a nice reminder of how crazy your life can become once you start hitting the streets.
As for other failures, I remember getting some LMR from an American girl (24) that had gone a year without sex with my hand rubbing her pussy and her panties dripping. She then explained how her previous bf had to wait a year and a half to fuck her. There is no way to know you’re gonna fuck for sure. Getting her number means nothing, making out with her means nothing, only fucking her makes you know for sure. This has been a big discovery for me and it’s helped tons to drop all expectations of what could happen.
It was also frustrating to spend time with a cute Russian teen (19) that ended up being a complete waste of time. She was just sad and depressed and wanted someone to hang out with. She had no personality, no opinions on anything and was a complete downer. What bothered me wasn’t not fucking her it was thinking of the opportunity cost of spending time with her. I could have been day gaming getting more leads!
Thanks ChaoticGreat for the insight. Part two to follow soon……