Just a shame that it’s Tom’s and not mine…… Take it away Welshman….
Here’s a full audio infield of a first date (d2) I went on last week with a French girl I’d met a few days previously during a daygame session. I’ve annotated the audio throughout to highlight my dating structure and the social dynamics being played out.
Some things to note:
- I’m running the “one date only” condensed version of my dating model involving just a single venue (a pub near my house) and then a fast bounce home. It’s high-risk-high-reward
- I’m weaving in and out of rapport and seduction, fractionating verbally and non-verbally to amp up her buying temperature. The whole thing takes about an hour.
- Classic techniques are used but condensed: open questions, cold reads, parroting, stealth questions, statements of intent, cocky-funny, push-pull, kino routines, Questions Game, deep rapport, emotive language, flipping-the-script, disarming the boyfriend, passing her classic tests, verbal bamboozling
- She reveals some spot-on observations about the power of eye contact, sub-communication and the secret language of seduction
- I’m very honest with her about being the lover not the provider. I put myself into the r-selection box from the start and she’s ok with it
- Logistics and leading are key. I meet her in Marble Arch near my house, it’s a three minute walk to the pub, a two minute walk to a shop and then another two minutes to my house. I’ve checked out seating in the pub before I start and prepared my room at home for the pull.
- There’s some very light token LMR which is handled with the usual techniques: roll offs, calling out the Elephant In The Room, pacing, pre-empting
- The post-sex “interview” sheds light on the importance of intent, sub-communication and being discreet, plus why nice guys finish last.
If you’ve been cold approaching and generating lots of leads but losing girls on the dates then I’d suggest you try out this fast version of the dating model to push your comfort zones. 95% of men on dates sink in the quick sand of comfort and rapport, forgetting they have to take control, spike it up sexually and pull the trigger. This fast dating structure will force you to practice these essential skills.
To learn more about my daygame and dating model, plus read more than 130 lay reports where I break down many more date techniques, check out my books on my website www.tomtorero.com
March 29, 2014 at 7:26 pm
TT, very good demo material, thanks for posting. And I like the photo — same girl as in audio recording?
March 29, 2014 at 9:51 pm
Thanks for posting this.
March 29, 2014 at 9:51 pm
Thanks for posting this.
March 30, 2014 at 1:50 am
20 min in and its really useful so far. Has given me some ideas.
Just an FYI, the http://www.tomtorero.com link isn’t working.
March 30, 2014 at 12:56 pm
On the surface it just sounds like a boring conversation, but it’s clear that at every point in the interaction Tom is leading. He’s extracting a lot of information about her, her lifestyle: on a break, has a varied dating life, open-minded, the fact she’s French and not from snobby Paris means she’s got the outward cool but once you break that down she’s going to be “open”.
Also, Krauser in her book says that if she’s out with you it means that there is some interest.
Some things I was confused about was at the beginning asking her what she wanted to drink. I would have thought: “Beers?” or “French…white wine…” and then you’d still be leading. Perhaps these are small points.
I’ve been on these dates and you get a sense very early on whether the girl is in or not.
Bouncing is important…I can only think of one time where staying in one location lead to a same day lay. That bounce really is the compliance test.
March 30, 2014 at 10:16 pm
I was just watching another guy’s infield stuff, and the contrast is astounding! This guy’s calling girls “dog” and “whore”, picking them up, fingering them in the club, doing all sorts of over the top stuff, and here Tom sits, cool as a cucumber, his voice never varying more than a few degrees in pitch and volume, slowly reeling this girl in. Totally stealthy, not dramatic or flashy, and… lethal! Makes the other guys look like clownish amateurs.
March 31, 2014 at 1:22 am
Yes…what I take away from this is calibration. The other guys seem like they’re “Chasing” by asking the girl to meet up somewhere etc etc. Tom has set it up as a “take me or leave me” dynamic.
At some point he makes it clear he doesn’t own a bike or some such.
I’ve been in situations where amping up the cocky-funny is crucial to sparking attraction. But at some point the girl wants to find out more otherwise you’re just the dancing monkey and there’s no challenge for her.
This is one concept I still have trouble grasping because game is counter-intuitive. Girls want a sense of “winning”…if the guy is chasing, no matter how charming that may be at first…it puts the girl on the pedestal.
I see a guy chasing a girl I know. He dances with her 4 times, lays on the charm, exchanges numbers, meets up a few days later.
Of course she comes to meet him—why wouldn’t she? There’s no challenge there and she still gets attention in a safer environment.
Contrast that with this arrangement: girl has a bloke she lives with, bangs Tom and then sets it up for discrete communication.
The most revealing thing is the last few minutes when they’re conspiring for another bang somewhere down the line.
Contrast that with the guy who’s chasing, putting himself out there…yah, he may get it just through sheer bluster but afterwards how would the girl feel? Here in this situation with Tom he’s gamed her and it was all her choice.
March 31, 2014 at 1:26 pm
Actions speak louder than words. This is why for me Tom ranks as the best daygamer out there…smooth, subtle, non-flashy and lethal! No wonder his Lay count is twice that of Krauser’s (sorry Nick!).
April 1, 2014 at 10:19 pm
Do you think that you could tell from an audio clip if a guy has reasonable cold-approach mechanics/conversational gusto or is a total idiot? I’m considering paying for a review of two consecutive 10 minute cold approaches that represent my standard and its results, just to know where I’m at since I see NO day 2s (after 200 plus approaches). Only a few instant dates and 2 scoops of numbers.
April 2, 2014 at 1:03 pm
I often analyse other guy’s mp3s or videos of their approaches and dates as part of my Skype coaching. For the last three years I’ve been analysing video approaches at the end of every weekend bootcamp so there’s not many sticking points I haven’t seen. Get in touch at firstname.lastname@example.org
April 6, 2014 at 3:02 pm
I just read your message and sent you an email. I’m excited for you to take my money!
April 5, 2014 at 12:40 pm
This is excellent, the take-home point for me was that Tom mentions her boyfriend way more than i ever would, I guess it’s another case of calling out the elephant in the room.I would have thought this approach risked her feeling pangs of guilt, her closing down and running off, Seems like most things in game its counter-intuitive, letting her give her own justification for her actions seems to “squirrel” away any guilt. Good post, thanks.
April 11, 2014 at 2:49 am
Interesting, but come on…. after 5-10 minutes it was obvious the girl liked Tom… he could simply have taken her home right there , no need to prattle on talking shite for an hour. LOL. I liked the end-bit of the audio though 😉
Does Tom speak French? The girl’s English wasn’t that good, and several times I wish she had simply spoken in French so I could understand what she wanted to say. Tom should have simply asked her to speak in French.
May 3, 2014 at 6:37 pm
Hi Tom & Krauser,
Thanks for posting this. Really awesome. I just used this model on Day 2 and it worked beautifully…lots of making out, kino, etc. I couldn’t pull though. The date was in city and she lives in city. I live in a suburb 45mins away. It could’ve been logistics as she was super horny but not horny enough to invite me to her place (where she has a roommate).
But she was willing to see me again. We met up next time again in city, had a great Day 3. I drove her back to her place but she wouldn’t let me come up. I’m not sure if she would be more willing if it was my place or if my Day 3 game was off. I wanted to ask her to drive down to where I am for Day 3 but wasn’t confident enough to make the ask. This has happened to me once before too when I got to Day 3 and couldn’t lay…and the dates went down very similarly. Lots of making out, kino and stuff.
Both of these girls won’t return my texts now LOL.
What am I doing wrong? Is it logistics or related to my Day 3 game? It might be because I pushed too hard on Day 3 for the lay and came across as needy….not really sure.
Also wanted to ask what equipment you use to record the audio?