Cuba Libre

January 9, 2012

Later this week I shall be headed to Cuba with Toe for country three of our Central American jaunt. We’ve never been. I’ve got some expectations which I’ll detail here. Jimmy went years ago and fucked eight girls in two weeks without handing over cash. Any other country in the world and that would be a phenomenal score, especially considering JJ doesn’t bang below a seven and rarely below an eight, yet he was very blaise about it commenting “you can’t not get laid in Cuba”. He explained it thus:

Girls will approach you all the time. If there’s a particular girl you like, all you need is to say hello and start a trivial conversation. Be nice, they’ll come on to you. Take them around for a couple of hours like an instant date, then back to your private apartment to fuck them. It’s soft prostitution. You don’t need game, you just need convertible currency and a foreign passport then girls will flock to you for the novelty and the chance to get into tourist-only venues they are normally excluded from.

I’ve checked some forums and it would appear quite accurate. Most of those places are for mongers / sex tourists and thus those guys end up paying actual cash – they aren’t exactly attractive fellows from the right-hand side of the male bell curve. So repeat the above formula but with a taxi driver introducing the girl, zero game, and a $30 cash exchange at the end. This leaves many ponderables. We won’t know for sure what the score is until we get there, but these are our draft rules of engagement:

  • No lays go on the official notch count / flag count / lay reports. They don’t count as game.
  • F-Town is in cryogenic suspension until we touch back in Mexico.
  • To the extent we can call a lay an achievement, the girl must be extremely hot, a nonpro, selected by us in a normal cold approach encounter (i.e. not pimped and not selecting us), sticks around until we dismiss her, and does not get uppity if we don’t pay her.

I suspect I realise now why so many keyboard jockeys rant on about how “easy” it is to pick up girls in Eastern Europe. I used to think it was the normal hating dynamic where everyone on the internet is a self-delusional seven feet tall model-banging badass (when not in his mum’s basement playing WoW), the type of guys who hallucinate about picking up supermodels the moment they step off the plane in Moscow simply because they have a US passport and a +7 Staff of Enchantment. But no, perhaps there is an actual logical reason for their delusion and by jove I think I understand it.

These guys are all American

"I adore US passports" - artist's impression of LIthuania

I’ll explain. American’s generally don’t leave their own country and when they do it’s to nearby Americanised resorts that sell twinkies and budweiser. I just suffered such a hellhole in Cancun before decamping to cleaner pastures. What little world history they have is about the collapse of the Soviet empire in 1989 and the brutal impoverishment there as gangster capitalism ran wild, thus leading many young women to whore themselves out. They probably still think Eastern Europe is like that. The oil and gas boom in Russian, the EU membership of Romania and Poland, the ERM mechanism for the baltic states, the ability for Poles and Bulgarians etc to simply take an Easyjet flight to London and start work the next day for a high minimum wage (a legal entitlement in the EU treaty)….. these all pass by the typical American. They don’t realise that Eastern European girls don’t need the money from whoring and don’t need a new passport.

What they do see is Cuba. Those girls do need the money and would love to snag a US-passport-holding boyfriend. Cuba is still a communist hellhole with long queues for the basic necessities of civilised life. Banging girls in Cuba is a clear case of economic disparities.

A hot Cuban, yesterday

Two weeks from now I’ll have an answer for you. A direct comparison of street gaming in the former Soviet satellites and “gaming” in the still-Soviet Cuba.


  1. It’s totally different. In Eastern Europe it’s only easier to bang hot girls because there’s 10 times more of them.

    That’s it.

    OK, you score a few points for being from London/different/interesting but there is absolutely no exploitation of economic disparity going on. They have their own money, good jobs, great apartments etc.

    In Cuba it’s very very different. It’s economic disparity. They have nothing. You won’t believe how they live if you walk round the slums. You seriously will not believe how they live.

    There’s two types of girls. Full on whores and then just young girls who want a window into a better world and to eat in a nice restaurant. A good looking tourist with a fun vibe is a flight of freedom for a few days and they just want to take it, They know you have options and just want to please you and have fun.

    • You putting out a lot of bullshit falsehood about Cuba bro.Seems like the western media/American media has fucked up your mental state about Cuba.It’s funny that you seem to be from Europe but you talk about Cuba being fucked up.Bullshit!

      The only thing significantly wrong with Cuba is that they value tourists more than the citizens.But-that’s the case for everywhere in the world since tourism is a huge industry world wide.

      • haha he is from england… pretty sure Cuba is more ‘fucked up’ … when you say europe you fail to realise that england is completely different to most countries on the continent

  2. i.e. you are both fucking hookers. Solid game boys, solid game.

  3. I have been. Lays are easy but they are all soft or hard prostitution lays basically

    P.S. Good luck getting no pros if you dont speak spanish.

  4. I think it counts as a lay, even if it’s down to economic disparities, as long as you don’t directly pay. Why make getting laid harder than it needs to be? I’m getting a new passport next month, and I’m googling flights to cuba now. Interested in seeing how this turns out. From the sounds of it, it’s going to turn into a game of avoid the hooker.

  5. It’s not always soft prostitution as many cubans are naturally horny and adventureous. Plus, cuba being a non-consumerist boredom gulag sex really is one of their few pastimes. If you don’t speak much spanish it’ll be hard to judge anyway. As a test you could game the hottest chicks around and make it clear you’re not even gonna take her to expensive clubs and restaurants. But then again ask yourself what kind of value are you giving them. Cuban dudes are often good looking, athletic, great dancers and do have a ton of game – and talk spanish! So what value are you gonna give the girls that their own boys can’t provide…

    • “Cuban dudes are often good looking, athletic, great dancers and do have a ton of game – and talk spanish! So what value are you gonna give the girls that their own boys can’t provide…”

      Touché IMO

  6. so after you learn some Mexican in Mexico are you planning to learn Cuban over in Cuba?

  7. This reminds me of this guy: the travel bum.

    Basicaly he’s travelling around the world to lay girls and put it all on video and online. Astounding quality by all standards: game, intellect, esthetic (this guy can hold a camera, take note Jimmy), etc…

    If the broadband allows it, you and Burto _MUST_ watch his stuff:

  8. Interesting and well written post. Thanks for writing it.

    I think the whole spectrum of hard to soft prostitution to regular sex with a western girl is an interesting area.

    I went to China a few years ago and I think there are a few more twists to this spectrum (at least in China) than what Jimmy discerned in Cuba and Eastern Europe.

    I found girls went for me there. It wasn’t because they wanted a passport or rich Western boyfriend. But (unlike Cuba perhaps) it wasn’t because they wanted access to bars and clubs and restaurants and a lifestyle either. The girl who wound up becoming my holiday girlfriend was rich, as were all her male and female friends. Most of them went to uni in Singapore. They didn’t need me to access anything. So what was going on?

    I think it was a combination of two things. Firstly, I am (or was) from the right side of the male attractiveness bell curve. Secondly, Shanghai at the time didn’t have a big ex-pat population, and certainly wasn’t overrun by loads of Easyjet weekend stag-dos. So being white actually made you instantly a bit cool. Everyone opens up to you and wants to know you. You start expecting everyone to like you. Just this small advantage seems to lead to a big change in results.

    • Thinking about “soft” prostitution, DelusionDamage has an interesting point about something similar:

      “Dating is prostitution.
      Getting to know someone and/or starting a sexual relationship with them does not in any way shape or form require you to ever agree to meet at a specific place on a specific evening for dinner and a movie. In fact, anybody who knows anything about game would advise against it. Dating is for men who want sex and are willing to pay for a fancy dinner in order to get it, and for women who want a fancy dinner and are willing to have sex to get it. It has zero utility for persons outside these categories.

      As it happens, though, a lot of people belong to the aforementioned categories, and they like dating – but they don’t like to be reminded of what it really is, so they make it convoluted in order to obfuscate the trail between the money and the sex, like bankers packaging sub-prime mortgages into triple-A rated funds, hiding the real action under a coat of glossy paint.”
      (site gonna delete all in about 20 days, I STRONGLY recommend reading it thoroughly)

  9. Irony is,a while ago,I wrote a blog post about Cuba being my next travel destination to bang some HB’s.I never been there,but since I live in the Caribbean,ppl from my island generally travel to Cuba frequently.1 thing they always tell me though is that there are many spots like clubs and bars that are tourist-only.So in order for local chicas to gain entry,they’d have to be with a tourist.So it makes total sense with the trade off of entry for pussy.

  10. Neither Krauser nor Burto have anything to prove, so if they want to or have to pay for every single girl they bang in Cuba, then who cares. Why kill themselves to find what is apparently really rare complete non-pro when they have limited time and just want to have fun.

  11. I’ve always wanted to go to Cuba and hope to go after America lifts the travel restrictions on its citizens. I’m gonna have to sneak my way in now since Obama hasn’t really mended relations yet.

    Oh and for the record Nick, I lived in Japan for two years and speak fluent Japanese. That sort of contradicts your statement about Americans never leaving their own country, but there are many exceptions to the rule. With your Japanese skills, you should be able to pickup Spanish pretty quick! The pronunciation is nearly the same b/w the two languages.

  12. Don’t care what you say mate. EE women are still easier to pick up than white anglo British women. Or if you prefer, white anglo British women are much harder to pick up than EE women.

  13. Shock horror! If “economic disparities” are involved then it doesn’t count!

    LMAO. As if the entire 200,000 year history of homo sapiens male/female relations hasn’t been influenced by economic disparities between what resources men (smarter, stronger, bigger, resourcefuller) can obtain compared to women (<) i.e. the resources vs. fertility paradigm.

  14. Krauser,
    Give my regards to Ahmadinejad–looks like your trips to Cuba are overlapping! 😉

  15. Even in the West a girl will rarely fuck a guy just because of they way he looks. She’ll judge his current and future economic potential by looking at his social confidence.

    In this case it is not so much an exchange of cash as in hard prostitution. It is an economic beauty contest between this guy and all other potential suitors.

    RE: The whole “Eastern European chicks are dead easy, therefore Krauser and Jimmy have no game despite shagging loads of them” argument. I think this is just plain jealously and hating. If it was possible to have consensual sex with an attractive women without paying for it in Eastern Europe then the pickup industry wouldn’t exist. Rather than pay for bootcamps and coaching guys would just take a cheap easyjet flight to Latvia.

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