Best

• The cast. It’s like all of the best action movie stars of the past twenty years all in one movie. It can barely handle that much awesomeness in one place.
• Arnie, Sly and Willis in a scene together
• Violence that makes even the last Rambo movie seem tame
• Massively alpha Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren performances.

Worst

The plot: Stupid entitlement princess betrays her father in the worst possible way by hiring a gang of mercenaries to kill him and steal his country. Daddie finds out and tries to save her from the inevitable but she won’t stop causing trouble until she’s captured by the Evil White Man. The most awesome gang of white knights ever assembled then slaughters about 500 men to get the ingrate bitch out of her own mess. The end. About as misandrist as a movie can be.

I still fucking loved it. Still, a reminder that you can be the most badass alpha on the planet but if you refuse the red pill you’ll get yourself into all kinds of needless grief over wimmin.

Oh, I finger-fucked my thai girl in the cinema during the harbour bombing run scene.