We are pumped from all the state control we ran on the main shopping drag and take ourselves to a small square flanked by about six bars. It’s rammed with the cool crowd but our energy soon has us lording the whole place. A six set comes in. Tony T recognises one as the girl from the ice cream stall yesterday. As they go past I open a straggler, HB8 Georgia, with something indirect and we chat. Immediately I set the tone with some quick fire negs then compliments, a tone I’ll keep most of the interaction.
Krauser: What are you good at?
HB8: I can cook.
Krauser: Proper food? Like, from original ingredients and everything. Don’t tell me you just reheat stuff in the microwave.
HB8: No no no! Real food. We girls from Georgia are great cooks.
Krauser. Cool. I like a girl who can cook. It shows creativity and patience.
I tell her to hold my drink and then skuttle around the low barrier that is between us saying “You seem nice. I don’t like to have any barriers between us” with a smirk. Then I give her my coat to hold too and continue chatting. It’s quite a long set so these excerpts are just a flavour of what goes on.
HB8: You know what’s really cool *pointing at me*
Krauser: Don’t point. That’s rude *slaps down finger*
I get a hug. It’s okay but she’s not really pulling her weight. I push her off, look into her eyes and admonish “No no no. Boobie-to-boobie hug. Do it properly”. I get a proper embrace with her juggling her breasts against me. Later I nudge her and say “Arse bump” and go for a side-on bump. She misunderstands and starts slapping my arse.
Krauser: Hey, stop that! We’ve only known each other five minutes and you’re going crazy. I need love, trust and connection before I do arse slapping. Come on, do the arse bump properly”
HB8: *has arms crossed*
Krauser: Hey, uncross your arms *slaps down arms* That’s so judgemental
HB8: *giggles* But I’m so cold. Aren’t you cold?
Krauser: No. I’m rock.
HB8: Yeah, you white guys don’t get cold so easily
Krauser: *exaggerated open-mouthed stare* You…you… you’re so racist. Hey, Tony! This girl just racially insulted me
HB8: No no no! That’s not what I meant…
Krauser: Honestly! Black girls are so racist!
She tells me she’s from Georgia so I keep refering to stuff like “Lee, this chick is from Hicksville, Georgia. Just outside Deliverance” etc. She tells me she’s half African and half Native American:
Krauser: Oh, fucking hell *reaches into wallet*. Ok then, how much do I owe you? For reparations. *pulls out Zimbabwean $100billion note*. Will $100 billion cover it? Here, buy your family a casino.
It’s really on and she’s laughing constantly. Check out the photos for how big her smile is. Her cheeks are lovely so I keep IOIing her for her nice smile but negging on her Bugs Bunny cheeks. After a while I decide it’s time to play with takeaways, just walking back to the crew without saying anything to her. She hangs around on the edge of her friend’s group waiting for me to return and we do this about five times. By then Tony T and Burto are tougue-deep in her two friend’s mouths. Just as I’m going back to kiss close she spontanteously says “I feel like American girls are so slutty now. I’m so embarrased”.
She’s already told me she’s coming to London in two weeks time and wants me to show her around, so I decide to change gears and play for the Day 2. I start future projecting:
Krauser: What makes you think you can come to London?
HB8: What do you mean?
Krauser: It’s my town. You can’t come in unless I sign your entry visa. My guards will stab you with a spear *pokes her stomach*
HB8: Let me in. Please
Krauser: OK, but only if you’re nice. If you misbehave I’m having you thrown into the Thames.
I pull her in and start talking about our date.
Krauser: First I’ll take you to the Tower of London and introduce you to the Queen. Me and Lizzie are tight. Then we’ll walk along the South Bank, next to the river. It’ll be dark and all the coloured lights will be reflecting off the high tide. We’ll be holding hands and whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears. We’ll get to the London Eye. It’s a big ferris wheel with amazing views over London. You know ferris wheels? Maybe you don’t have them in Shitsville, Georgia. We’ll go straight to the front of the queue and get into the VIP capsule. At the top I’ll hit the intercom and my mate in the operating booth will stop us at the top. I’ll reach under the seat and bring out the champagne…. etc etc
She’s pushing her breasts up against me now as I’ve got my arm round her shoulder and we are looking out over the rest of the square. Then I push her off and do another takeaway. More kino follows including picking her up and spinning her around. I go off and open two sets in front of her and flirt lightly with them.
It’s all very solid so I take the Facebook, she asks me again to show her around London, and after another five minutes or so I leave it at that. She adds me the next day.