That’s how bad this sticking point is. I open a girl telling her I want to fuck her and I end up her friend. Here is the sorry tale.
September 5th, 2009. Saturday afternoon and my mother is visiting London so I do the honourable thing and meet her for lunch and coffee. I’m totally open with her about my sarging which she’s obliquely supportive of. She’s rather contemptous of my skank ex-wife and see’s me as the aggreived party. She’s also a psychologist and a realist so she wants her son to get himself together and get himself together with girls. Nonetheless I can squeeze in an hour of daygame with Sai.
One thing I’ve noticed recently – my very first daygame sarge of the day is usually my best. I think it’s because I haven’t really put on my PUA wizard hat so I come across more authentic and relaxed. I wish I could bottle and sell that state.
Walking down Charing Cross road I see HB8 Greek. I open:
HB8: Hi *stops*
Krauser: I had to stop you. You’re gorgeous.
HB8: *smiles* Thanks
Krauser: Would you like to come home with me?
HB8: *shock awe, quickly recovers poise* No.
Krauser: OK. Is that coffee from Pret?
Krauser: Cool. I normally go to Starbucks myself. I like the coffee of the day though to be honest if I’m gonna spend a long time in a cafe I normally do Cafe Nero because they have those lovely distressed leather sofas… blah blah… bullshit
HB8: Come walk with me
We walk down to Trafalgar Square and she’s really pleasant, asking me about the opener and do I do this much. I’m hyper-honest in what I say (though I withhold the sheer scale of my approaching), as I calibrate her to be very open on these things and I think honesty will DHV me:
Krauser: I’m a fairly direct guy. When a man approaches a woman it’s always based on a sexual dynamic. I see no reason to try to sneak in under her radar.
HB8: You could be a little more roundabout, like ask her something normal
Krauser: Yeah I suppose but that’s not me. Give me some feedback then. How did you feel when I said that
HB8: It was kinda shocking…. but cool.
Krauser: It looked simple but there’s alot going there. When a man stops a woman he’s got to demonstrate value without scaring her or being creepy. It could’ve sounded really weird but instead I was just putting the option out there. I wasn’t trying to persuade you to have sex. I put it out there as non-needy. I like sex, but I don’t need it.
HB8: Yeah, I caught that. *smiling*
After ten minutes I number close by typing my number into her phone and then ringing to mine. She walks off then calls me two minutes later to check she’s got the right number stored. I take that as an IOI. She’d briefly mentioned a boyfriend in passing, and that she lives in Covent Garden. She suggested I join her in a bar later after I’m done in Tiger Tiger. I know I’m not going to because it’s pulling me into her reality. Later that night we swap texts:
Krauser: You’re still thinking about it 😉
HB8: A little! doesn’t happen often in london!
Krauser: But all the time in Greece? I’m at Tiger Tiger
HB8: Yea greece is a little bit different. I’ve just hopped into the bath…
Krauser: Bath texting? You’re weird
HB8: Thanks…. multi tasking? lol. ur in a bar with ur mate and ur texting… that’s equally weird. lol
Krauser: Make sure you soap yourself properly
HB8: Thanks for the tip, couldn’t have done it without u. lol
Krauser: I’m helpful like that
I leave it for the week and then on the Thursday that the Colombian blows me out I call. She picks up right away and after a five minute chat she invites to to Bar Salsa. Says her male friend is teaching there but she’s not dancing so why don’t I join her. I figure turning up alone to her base is gonna chode me out so I decline.
Next, while out Friday 11th I restart, late on while I’m in Cargo. The whole time I’m trying to follow Roissy’s text game maxim – Send only those texts which you’d be comfortable having appear on a jumbotron in front of the whole world. Meaning, if you aren’t comfortable with your text game being public, it must be beta.
Krauser: Old Street tonight
HB8: I’m off to the cinema tonight but could meet up later if ur around
Krauser: Yeah, that’s a plan. Text me when you’re done
HB8: *later* Would you like to meet in coven garden or is it too late for you?
This is 11pm. I call. I say I’ll be finished with my friends at midnight and then I’ll call to arrange to come over to her place (she’s at home now). Midnight comes, I call and no answer. Twice. I text “hey” to no response. Fuck.
Next morning at about 11am I get this:
HB8: Hey Krauser – I’m so sorry about last night! I fell asleep in front of the tv, didn’t realise how tired I was.
We arrange an early afternoon Day 2 for Saturday.
I’m sitting in Cafe Nero off Covent Garden reading Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead. I want to be in a state where I’m self-amused and not anxious for her to come. Works out well. She arrives and we sit outside in the sun. I’m leaning back, alpha language and we connect instantly. I really like this girl. She’s smart, self-assured and much prettier than I first realised. Turns out she’s a model and recently has been posing naked for artists. She’s also a dancer. We chat alot and I keep with the authentic honesty. She likes the book I have on speedreading people and really lights up when I outline her character.
She suggests moving on to St James’ Park so off we go. I initiate kino with upper arm touching, pulling her in (arm around shoulders) and arm around waist. She’s pleasantly staying comfortably close but not responding by putting her arms around me. I end up talking about my interest in social dynamics and talk about alpha/beta/omega and sexual chemistry. She’s going along with it all. I neg a bit, we joke. It’s just very very pleasant. I feel totally relaxed like there’s no judging between us and I’m not trying to impress.
Three hours in and we are sitting outside another cafe while she eats. I try to escalate a bit more. Suddenly:
HB8: You know I have a boyfriend
Krauser: *looks into her eyes* I don’t care
HB8: Well I do. It’s his flat I live in. I just don’t want to mislead you
Then we continue as before and for about thirty seconds I risk choding out but I recover and continue the kino but at the earlier levels and don’t escalate. She gets a couple of calls for arranging her night out so we head back to Covent Garden, I take her Facebook, we hug and separate.
LJBF’d. Off the apocalypse opener. Just let that sink in for a moment.
Going forwards the idea is this:
– I genuinely like the girl. She is beautiful and has real depth. While I’d much rather fuck her, I would still value her as a friend.
– But I shall never be an orbiter. We keep it mutually beneficial or nothing at all.
– Worst case is I keep her in my social circle, as social proof, and we enjoy each other’s company
– Best case is at some time in the future she has a fight with her boyfriend, gets bored, or somehow falls off the cock carousel and decides the guy she needs to call to get back on it is me.