I bang my first Thai village girl

February 19, 2012

Sometimes getting laid is astonishingly easy. This one was three hours from meet to sex but to be fair I still followed the model to eliminate unnecessary fuck ups on what was basically a slamdunk. It all begins when I decide to try pipelining ahead of my visit to Thailand. Robusto and JJ are dab hands at online game, so much so they should probably write a book on it, so I just plaguarise the fat man’s profile and copy JJ’s message principle of “push-pull-push”. With less than three hours since sign-up I’m pinging messages with a dozen ladies.

The cream of asia, yesterday

Now lets be straight, these ladies are not the cream of Asia. While not as old and hideous as an English website, the girls are firmly clustered around the 5-7 band but as we well know an Asian seven is often very very pleasant company. I move a few of the girls over to my facebook and Skype. There’s tons of filipinos (which is little use to me) but I add them too to experiment with hassling ’em for naked photos. Here’s the full set of messages of the bird I banged:

Me: Hey sweetie. I’m headed to [thai city] next week and I’ll be making new friends. I have a vacancy for a fun, crazy, cute local girl to laugh at my jokes and show me the city. I wonder where I could find one….. [Robusto-style so far]

Her: you have to try…. everywhere…i dont know… i can’t find guy like that either.. they’re somewhere

Me: Real men are very rare. Like pandas or tigers. What is your ideal man?

Her: someone honest,clever and always make me laugh

Me: I’m boring. I’m the most boring man in the world. I like your hair in your photo. I’m very boring. When I talk, you will fall asleep. [JJ-style of push-pull-push]

Her: you might not be so boring but the fact that you repeat saying you’re boring so many times. that’s boring

Me: ****** logic paradox ****** weird girl I like your hairband too. I don’t like your bed sheet [push-pull-push]

Her: weird man that’s not bed sheet, it’s bedspread. I like your jacket but I dont like your hat.

Me: That hat cost me $5,000. Well, no it didn’t. That’s a lie. What are you doing right now?

Her: I’m working but sneak chatting. if you mean occupation.. it’s bloody[boring office] company

Me: BOOOOOORRRRRINGGGG!!!!! You need excitement. Are you adventurous?

Her: thanks for telling me that my job is boring. it really helps. I am more adventurous than you can imagine.

Me: I don’t believe you. I think you work all day and watch TV all evening. I think the most adventurous thing you ever did was to kiss a guy in a bar. Once. You look like a fun girl

Her: you’re pathetic.. listen to your attitude. i bet all girls you have met are as boring as you just describe me, and i bet you’ll never find anyone more adventurous than that.

Me: It’s unfortunate. Maybe I just have bad luck in Thailand. In London, the girls I meet are all fun, interesting, energetic and beautiful. Maybe my luck in London is good. Are you really 159cm?

Her: maybe 158 i’m not sure. and me, i have bad luck too… all boys i meet here are boring.

Me: Do you have facebook in Thailand?

Her: where have you been dinosaur? facebook is eveywhere now.

Me: I thought so, but the only Thais I know I met in London and Tokyo. Search [my email] and add me

So she comes over to facebook where all my profile DHVs can hit and I can get a better look to see if her dating site photo is backed up by reality. Yeah, she’s quite cute. So I proceed to have a few ten-minute half-arsed chats to bed down some comfort and be more real. We exchange numbers and then a few days after I touch down in Thailand we meet on Saturday evening.

Closer to reality

I tell her it’s fine to bring friends because I’m out with Bhodi. She comes alone on her scooter and from there it’s child’s play. We’re in a lounge bar supping Singha beer and for twenty minutes Bhodi and I just frame-control the shit out of her until she is entrenched in a submissive, inferior feminine position – which she loves, I might add. It’s obvious she’s never seen anything like it. Push-pull, DHVs, chick crack, douchbaggery, it’s all in there. As we finish our drinks and go to the club next door I know all the attraction and qualification is done. I simply need enough comfort and then test some escalation.

Bhodi heads home with a chest infection he picked up in muay thai class while I move my girl from the edge of the dancefloor to a sofa outside. I do very light kino which she accepts and then drop in sexualisation.

Her: What do you like to do in life?

Me: First, I like fighting. Second is sleeping. Then eating. Then reading. Fifth is sex, then videogames.

Her: Sex is only fifth?

Me: No no, sorry. Videogames is fifth, then sex.

A bit later I qualify her on blowjob technique. She says she’s great at it because some ladyboy gave her secret tips. I do a push-away with: “Two things that all girls say they are good at is kissing and blowjobs. It’s never true. I’ve been disappointed so many times.” Predictably she paws me and qualifies: “No, no. Really, I give excellent blowjobs!”

The rook moves to H7. Check.

I tell her we’re going for a walk and start leading in the direction of my apartment and I occupy her forebrain with bullshit until the momentum is rolling. She has a great round ass so I compliment her on it, pick her up over my shoulder and slap it. She’s loving it.

The knight advances. Black is in danger.

We get to my apartment building ten minutes later. “I’m not going to your room” she half-heartedly protests. “It’s just for ten minutes” and up we go. Once inside I put on spotify and chill. “We’re not having sex” she protests. “That’s fine. Just show me some youtube music you like.”


Five minutes later she is demonstrating her blowjob skills. Ten minutes later I have F-town. When I give her a ride back to her scooter she’s singing sweet love songs. Cute. I’ll see her again.

Postscript: Although I go to bed with the F-town tags around my neck, which I swear make me sleep deeper and dream better, Robusto lacks the class and character to allow me to enjoy my acheivement. Way over in Mexico he rushes out to the street and brings a runt home to regain his tags.


  1. Love it when you ask her ideal man and then tell her you’re the opposite. This is one of my favorite traps to lay. Start qualifying yourself to her and it’s game over.


  2. where are you in Thailand?

  3. I read about half am busy but this is fucking art. Just look at this girl. She has never known anything like this. Your system is fucking genius. I have a lady in mind on facebook that I will keep this story in mind to capture her attention. Glorious!

  4. Sorry to be blunt, but you’re above average naive, it seems. Or maybe you just don’t care, and that’s okay, but I’d find it better to at least mention the context. Traditional Thai girls don’t behave like this, and we don’t have to be Einsteins to understand that this girl is a hooker and a bar girl. Her FB answers show she’s well capable of manipulating farang men. The only girls from the Thai countryside who speak English are the ones who slid into town in order to make a few extra baths off the farang tourists, and who knows, find a suitable guy to take her out of there. If you notice the guys in the background on her photo, they are typical hooker bar clientele. Been there, done that, lived in Thailand for a while (before they changed the visa laws) etc. Be careful.

    [Thanks but… she’s hasn’t asked or hinted for money, she bought her own drinks, her facebook profile is a normal girl and…. that photo isn’t her. I just picked one that was approximately as hot for context because I don’t want to use her own photo this time. If I turn out to be wrong, I’ll add an update. K]

  5. Hey personal request. Can you ask Bhodisatta to do another post about Thailand (as he is now there)? His blog was great, but he seems to have stopped posting.

  6. Opportunists never ask for money if they believe the guy is worthwhile. Shoring often isn’t about the guy’s seduction power, but the girl’s estimate of the guy’s potential to be profitable in the long term. Some are genuinely interested, which probably is the case here (if she ever turns out to be a hooker), so in that case the potential is read as love potential. Many of these girls are clever liars, to the extent that they nearly believe in their own lies. And also, the concept of hooking is different from what a European dude knows, it’s more elastic, adaptive and also to a certain degree has much more skill involved. That’s why you can never be sure. The sweetest girls could turn out to be working shifts to finance her lifestyle or studies, or the family back in the north east.

  7. These counter arguments about the girls Krauser & Co are picking up are getting a little tired to be honest.

    It seems that if the girl was from a non OECD (rich) country, then someone with an axe to grind will say “She’s obviously just a hooker giving up sex for free in the hope of getting a sugar daddy”. This is said even if the girl in question has a nice apartment, a uni degree, and a good well paid job.

    In reality I don’t think there are too many accountants or marketing executives who spend their weekends dancing in brothels.

    The second counter argument is that if the girl comes from a rich country where English isn’t the first langrage (e.g. Finland, France, Poland, Spain) then someone will say “She couldn’t speak English well and was confused into thinking Krauser was a cool guy and accidentally slept with him”. Well, this argument is just ridiculous.

    The third counter arguement is if the girl is from an English speaking rich country like,,, England, the US, Australia etc. The counter argument in this case is “Well this girl is obviously just a slag who will sleep with anyone, Krauser still doesn’t have any game”. Once again this aurgument is so stupid it is barely worth dignifying with a response. If there were so many of these ‘slags’ around who will sleep with just about anyone, then straight clubs and bars wouldn’t look like they currently do, they’d look like gay bars with ‘dark rooms’ for people to go off and have a quick fuck in.

  8. Well done. When you calibrate well, it seems so much easier.

    “First, I like fighting. Second is sleeping. Then eating. Then reading. Fifth is sex, then videogames.”

    Fuck that’s good.

  9. Good text sequence and text game as usual.

  10. @Jim: These are not counter arguments to Krauser’s merits. I’m just mentioning his possible inexperience with what is going down in these countries and wonder whether he’s being tricked. Thailand IS by far the puta central of South East Asia. Online in some of these countries you will also find a higher percentage of (semi)pros than in the rest of the population. I have been tricked. I’m a similar to Krauser type of guy, and I have plenty of travel and life experience, and the more you get of it, the more your picture of reality is crumbling. Having lived in non-OECD countries for about 10 years now, I can certify you won’t easily dismantle some of these girl’s secrets. I have met and dated a girl who studied medicine, and who turned out to finance it by on the side stints. Girls sell themselves to buy silicone implants. I met a girl through a friend, and learned that she was selling herself when her husband was in the States for business. My friend met her in action, in the wrong bar. Daddy’s girl’s sell themselves for the thrill. Etc. etc. None of these girls are dying in the gutter. Jim’s comment “This is said even if the girl in question has a nice apartment, a uni degree, and a good well paid job” hits the spot exactly: Yes, they are selling themselves even though they have a nice apartment, a job, and a uni degree! Which is hard to believe for Europeans. But which is the cause and which is the effect? Some girls only get that apartment because they sell themselves. And the uni and the job don’t disqualify being a pro, (who pays for the uni by the way? Did you background check that?) although this is what many Europeans would imagine, Jim included! Just don’t think too much, go travel and stay for a while, and you’ll get wiser.

  11. Hey Krauser, first of all I’d like to mention my admiration for this blog: I’ve never come across such a content-loaded one with so many field/lay reports and videos all broken down into the detail. It’s some amazing stuff to learn from.

    In this post you say how your facebook profile is full of DHV indicators; would you mind pointing out some examples or sending over a screenshot of your profile? [No screens but basics is to select your photos to hit all the attraction triggers and to bait girls into posting good stuff on your wall. More to it than that, but it’s a start. K.]


  12. I live in Thailand and I don’t completely agree with Hamster. Although the FB chat definitely shows how this girl know how to handle farang (foreigner), I have been on dates with a lot of Thai girls to know that they are up for any game the guy is going to play. On the internet, they would start off as confident and other stuff to show they are hard to get, however when you meet them, they will be submissive (bonus point if you are rich or a white guy).
    Well anyway, I am happy you guys are in my town and I would like to advise you to go to RCA and for really high class girls, Thonglor and Ekamai club scene. Enjoy fellows =) I think there is going to be a lot of lay reports while you are here in Thailand.

    • Details please… what is RCA? Got the names of any good clubs? Daygame locations? Cheers..

      • Be glad to. Well Day game locations are easy. MBK mall, Siam Square, Siam Paragorn, Central shopping mall.
        RCA is a club area in Ratchada. Its famous and if you tell any taxi driver, he will take you there.
        These locations are in Bangkok though.

  13. Pingback: I bang my first Thai massage parlour manager « Krauser's PUA Adventure

  14. “I have a vacancy for a fun, crazy, cute local girl to laugh at my jokes and show me the city.”

    In Thailand and Southeast Asia more generally you have to be careful about saying you’re looking for a “fun girl,” as that’s oftentimes synonymous with prostitute for them. Locals may take that message to mean you’re looking to sponsor a temporary girlfriend or some such. Online and im real life you can get the same point across, but I’d just specifically avoid using the combination “fun girl.”

  15. Pingback: Mexican SDL & Flag « 50flags

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