I figure if there were lots of models up in Great Portland Street yesterday maybe they are around today, so I start off in a Starbucks there, watching the Blueprint and drinking coffee. Eventually I rouse myself. It’s a lovely day.
I spot HB7 Brit in the coffee queue earlier and when I run into her in the street I decide to open. She really likes it, smiling broadly and continuing the conversation even though she says she’s late getting back to work. It’s not gonna work out though when she mentions living with her boyfriend.
HB7 Petite is wandering around on the next street. She stop’s on my open but then asks me directions and wanders off. Things improve down Regent Street when HB6 Italy stops. Her English is appalling and she wants to walk on but I insist and within a few minutes she’s softened and I bounce her for an instant date. She’s pretty freaked out by kino, yelping when I touch her upper arm and later when I pull her in. It’s funny because I just follow the rule of returning to the earlier stage of kino then upping it again later. She texts me to meet up later and by the end I’ve got hand on thigh and a big hug. It takes a lot of persistence to get that far she’s so twitchy but I feel the resistance breaking. She invites me out with her friend to Fulham but I pass. The next evening at about 10pm I get these texts:
HB6: Hi! what do you doing now?
Krauser: I’m at home, watching tv. You?
HB6:I want go out! do you want meetme…
*unfortunately that last one arrives an hour after she sent it, so my response has missed the boat*
Krauser: You’re excited ;-P I’m staying home tonight but you can come here. Drinks and dvd
Nothing doing, but it was past 11pm by then. Didn’t mind pushing it with her only being a HB6. I walk on up to Covent Garden to meet two wings, one of whom has been out of the game for a while and doesn’t open.
HB8 Blonde walks past. It looks like a tough stop but she’s fine. I can’t close but I do badger her for a social proof photo for my Facebook. Nice girl.
HB6 Taiwan is standing smoking at the station while her friend is on the phone. I open low energy and she responds well. She gives a Facebook. Seems to be a flake, will try email . I find I’m choding out a little bit by going for the FB rather than the number. My routine is:
Krauser: So are you on Facebook
Krauser: Ok, how do I spell your name *pulls out phone*
Lame. I should have a new rule where I only go for the FB if it’s clearly not going anywhere (e.g. waiting for her boyfriend and not IOIing me) or if I don’t want the number anyway. Or if say its a tourist about to leave the next day. Apart from that, I should insist on the number.
I open a HB7 2-set of ditzy-looking teenagers who are dressed weird. They chat briefly but wander off after joking around. Next is HB6 Blonde is meeting her mum but loves the compliment and gives me a beeming smile. She’s not fit enough to persist with. HB9 Spain smiles on the compliment but rushes on. Poor English. HB9 English does a similar thing.
I decide to pause and collect my thoughts. I’m opening without any AA but not hooking so some kind of debrief is necessary. I’m just churning opens without any real effort.
Wandering around the back of Neal Street we go past HB9 Romania 2-set sitting on the promenade outside a cafe. I never open seated sets and for some reason I decide this will be my first. I do the usual direct 2-set opener. It felt very relaxed. Should’ve gone for number because the target was enjoying the chat. I think the fact she was due to return to Sweden the next day put a spanner in my works, as it were. Instead I got her Facebook and she accepted the invite the same night. You can see I’m overly reliant on FB, right?
Towards Trafalgar Square I run across the road to stop HB9 Swiss model. It requires a dominant step-across to halt her but then she relaxes, and chats. She doesn’t wanna give me details. I think I was gradually DLVing as I stayed in set. About 10 minutes I think.
Just as I finish I spot HB8 Polish back on the other side of the road. She looks tough. Sunglasses, iPod and fast purposeful walk. I run over and jump in front. She responds well and I tell her to raise her sunglasses. She gives me number but is in a rush for the bank which shuts in ten minutes. I give a quick call the next day which she picks up. Finally, I dispense with by bullshit FC close and just go authentic:
Krauser: Look, I’d like to see you again. Can I take our number?
Last set of the day is HB6 Asian who is sort of dancing down the street with headphones on. She’s fun but doesn’t hang around more than a minute after my stop. I’m knackered by now and really not feeling it for night game but Subzero, Prize and Smooth drag me out.
As a warm up I open HB7 Asian 3-set with my Spiderman/Hulk opinion opener and it hooks. I eject to rejoin my friends then on the way out to Jewel I decide to rush a number close just in case. Fail.
I spend a while chatting to a HB6 Geordie that Prize opened then opinion open HB7 Blonde 2-set. They don’t hook and I don’t plough. I’m not feeling it at all. I pull myself together a bit when I see a seated four set of Indians. None better than a HB5 but I want some practice.
Krauser: Girls, quick question. My friends were just talking about Bollywood and the dancing.
HB5s: eeeeeeehhhh, interrupt…. blah…blah *set is blown wide open. I sit down*
Krauser: Quiet a minute. I want the answer to this. When the men dance, is that cool or just a stupid movie thing?
We spend a long time in set because they are fun, and they teach us the Bollywood dance but eventually the club chucks out early and we had on to Cafe de Paris. I wish we hadn’t. It’s awful. The epitomy of what’s wrong with Piccadilly clubs. It’s chode-hell and although we stride into the VIP section it’s teeming with minging HB5s acting like HB10s.
We set up camp on a large sofa and just sit, practicing alpha body language and watching the chodes and dancing monkeys bounce off the various girls. I figure I ought to open something but it’s well over half an hour till anything about a HB6 goes by.
I four set comes over and is dancing aimlessly. Clearly tourists but all are quite nice looking. I apocalypse HB8 Spain 2-set. I’m not sure they understood what I said but it doesn’t hook and I really can’t be bothered to talk, hence the ultra-direct open.
Ten minutes later an HB7 Russian 2-set appears in tight mini-skirts and dance provocatively (but not at anyone in particular). I apocalyse them:
Krauser: Girls. Hi. What are you doing later?
HB7: We dancing
Krauser: What’s the chances of you two coming home with me tonight for a threesome?
I have to repeat it twice for the blonde to understand, and she smiles and makes a zero sign with her hand. Her friends asks what I said and after a translation into commie-speak she too makes the zero sign. I sit down. Prize gets up and re-apocalypses them.
Finally we leave this shitty club. Outside I apocalypse a HB7 blonde & black 2-set and don’t hook. Home time.