How to write a memoir #4

January 9, 2018

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Believe it or not, several of my readers did in fact take me up on my Winter Memoir Challenge and have been working hard to contribute their own stories to the burgeoning literature within our niche community of odd fellows. One such scribe has noticed a rather powerful consequence of writing….

A profound sense of introspection over his journey.

This is not altogether unexpected, as I had the same thing. As did Bodi. And no doubt everyone else who has committed themselves to writing a memoir. The process seems to work like peeling an onion layer by layer.

peeling an onion

A self-peeling onion, yesterday

Layer One – The personal debrief
As you lie in bed, a feeling of smug self-satisfaction on your face, the girl you just banged trots off to the shower. Your mind turns towards replaying events in order to determine how you pulled it off. What were the key moments? How did you handle the key risks? This debrief is mostly tactical, with a large helping of self-congratulation.

Layer Two – Telling your mates
The +1 text was fired off immediately. Now it’s the next afternoon and you’ve met your friends / wings. There’s a story to tell. So you walk them through it with a focus on drama and tension. Perhaps they ask questions to clarify key points. You’ll probably end up telling the story several times and at each telling the fat is trimmed and the spice is added. It’s transformed from a debrief to an anecdote.

Layer Three – Bragging Blogging about it
Now you wish to tell the world, or at least that small community of avid blog readers strung out across the globe. You’ll probably retell the tale with a journalistic focus and getting the precise sequence of events correct and interpreting them according to prevailing daygame theory [1]. Those of you increasing in confidence may adopt a tone of teaching the dear reader so he may yet benefit from what you’ve learned from the process. The incident has now moved from debrief, to anecdote, to lay report.

Layer Four – Writing it up in the Memoir
You have assembled a number of such events into a narrative and interspersed it with the other things you were doing on your journey. It has been contextualised within the wider narrative of your Player’s Journey. Now you are drawing parallels to other similar incidents, or grouping them together according to phases in your journey, and seeking to re-evaluate an event – that may have happened over a year ago – with the benefit of hindsight. Quite likely you’ve reached a different conclusion over the key moments and key risks that you’d initially identified. The debrief became an anecdote, became a lay report, became a considered reflection.

It is at this final stage that we writers zoom the camera out from the trees and take in the forest as a whole. The passage of time and the repetition of sets has granted us perspective. We see our earlier selves in a different light. Speaking from my own personal experience, I find that soon after banging a girl I tend to overestimate my own agency in bringing the events to pass, and then writing in the memoir I underestimate my same agency. Probably it’s because the novelty and sense of achievement has been dulled by the passage of time.

“Reading back and expanding upon what I wrote at the time, just after the lays, I’m finding sentences which are expanding to long moments of introspection. With hindsight I’m able to see why particular things meant so much to me personally” says a scribe.


The writing of the book to publish is a blind. A distraction. A false flag.

The real value of the book to you the writer is as a homework project in deep introspection. Consider the blog posts the term papers and the memoir your final thesis. The memoir process requires you to order your journey chronologically, re-tell it, and make sense out of it for the reader. The primary reader is you, the writer.

You are making sense of your journey.

The writing process is one of looking into the core of events and interpreting. You are understanding and fleshing out the key character – you – and finding out how that character is motivated and how he reacts to events. It is self-directed inner game therapy [2] and thus this introspective phase of the writing process should be wholly embraced. There will be many ‘eureka’ moments during your writing as you approach an old event from a slightly different angle. You’ll see flaws you didn’t realise you had, but also good qualities you didn’t realise you possessed. You’ll be impressed by your tenacity in some moments and embarrassed by your weakness in others.

Writing your memoir is a great tool to guide you through deep inner game change because it forces you to stick to the facts, the whole of the facts, and then make sense of them. By having the intended final “reader” in your mind as the person you need to explain yourself to, you are subjected to mental discipline in a way you could otherwise evade if you allow uncomfortable thoughts to simply dissipate in your consciousness.

Fucking Awesome Mate

Bang on time, mate

Lastly, you’ll probably be surprised at how much progress you’ve made. Re-telling those old stories from the beginning of your journey, you’ll be mentally positioning yourself back into your old frame of reference and likely be shocked. Did I really think like that? What a chode I was!

The primary beneficiary of your memoir is not us, the daygame community [3], but it is you the writer, who will emerge with a greater self understanding.

If you are excited at the prospect of reading memoirs, you should probably start with the best: Balls Deep, A Deplorable Cad, and Adventure Sex. And then you should mortgage your house and buy Daygame Infinite. And probably Daygame Overkill too. In fact, fuck it, you’re serious about this so sign up for personal coaching too. [4]

[1] By which I mean Daygame Mastery
[2] Assuming you are writing the book sincerely, rather than as a grandiose ego-trip.
[3] Though we do benefit greatly from the resource you place before us.
[4] Or just deposit money directly into my bank account, I’d quite like that.

AnonCon discusses Daygame Infinite

January 5, 2018

There are only five blogs I read on a daily basis: Vox Populi, The Conservative Treehouse, Steve Sailer, Heartiste, and Anonymous Conservative. The latter of these was kind enough to discuss my book in a detailed post. That gave me a warm feeling, having a man whose work has informed my worldview looking at my own work. He raised several good points and I’d like to talk about them.

1. Game skill allows you to filter for marriage
New entrants to the pick-up world will usually undergo a painful destruction of their worldview, and then gradually rebuild a newer, more accurate worldview [1] It is unavoidably painful because it requires humbling your ego, challenging your core values, and likely realising you aren’t the hot shit you thought you were. Rollo calls it the bitter taste of the red pill and I agree with him. Every solid player has his own story of his own meltdowns and disenchantment. One reason it’s important to undergo this process is so you can see the world more clearly, and in particular, understand female nature.


“I promise you only a cliche”

We are always and everywhere embroiled in a mating war. We take what we want from women and they take what they want from us. Sometimes, when interests align, it’s win-win. However there are a lot of predators on both sides who pursue win-lose [2]. An experienced player has a well-honed radar to filter out these predators. Specifically, Game skills provide:

  • Elite level calibration skills in reading people and predicting their actions
  • Removal of our points of vulnerability, and self-awareness of those that remain
  • A huge net from which to filter girls for the ones we want
  • An abundance mentality and mental discipline to walk away from red flag girls
  • Satiation of carnal impulses towards sleeping around and infidelity.

There’s no guarantee every player will secure game’s bounty of self development but it’s a path laid out for him in the literature should he choose to walk it.

2. Player lifestyle as a goal
AnonCon rightly disagrees with me over whether the player lifestyle should be a goal but I think there’s a crossed wire here. I have written my material for men who have already chosen this lifestyle as a goal. I don’t seek to persuade any man it should be his goal [3]. I consider Game to be a toolkit and Pick-Up Artistry to be a lifestyle choice. My material covers both but they are analytically separate. Personally, I’m semi-retired from the game. I like to keep my hand in but I no longer pursue notches very hard.

3. Amygdala manipulation as a teaching aid
Now here is something I wasn’t expecting. AnonCon continues to surprise me with his ability to think outside the box and apply r/K theory:

“Krauser has bits in his book where I see things he is doing to amygdalae that will naturally adapt those who read it into more attractive mate prospects as men, and I do not know if he is even conscious of the mechanisms he is tripping”

I suggest you read his post for the specific example he walks through. At a more general level, his point appears to be this: Cold approach is a stressful activity that can easily trigger amygdala pain (through rejection) and thus discourage men from approaching. Orthodox PUA coaching styles can exacerbate this problem by encouraging in the student a false confidence in the method. Ensuing rejections are not just painful, they are unexpected – this creates acute amygdala pain through violation of expectation.

My teaching style builds into the method a natural way of reducing this amygdala activation through two methods: (i) the stoplight system, and (ii) calibration probes. Additionally, the meta-level Vibe analysis soothes the player into expecting and embracing rejection without feeling the full sting of it. Thus at a pedagogical level, Daygame Infinite helps moderate amygdala triggering.

There’s more in the post. Read it all here.

You can buy Daygame Infinite in a luxury full-colour hardback edition here.

Daygame Infinite hardback front cover

[1] Unless you’re one of the purple pill crowd who wants to cling on to mommy’s apron psychologically but still delude yourself you’re making progress. Don’t worry, there is a whole army of charlatan coaches ready to take your money, and they have perfected the subtle art of not giving a fuck (about you).
[2] Or even lose-lose, for the most broken.
[3] I used to, though. I was very gung-ho about being a player back when I was flush with the excitement of banging lots of tottie. Having satiated my own relentless notch-count hyena, I proselytise less.

Daygame Infinite – Buy It Here

December 29, 2017

Hello fellow red-blooded male,

You thought it couldn’t be done. You thought Daygame Mastery was as good as things could ever get. You thought street pick-up had already reached its natural peak.

Allow me to pleasantly surprise you.

Daygame Infinite hardback front cover

There’s a new gold standard in pick-up and its name is Daygame Infinite. This is the most advanced material there is. It covers the entire London Daygame Model from the moment you hit the streets until the moment you’re banging the girl you picked up there. Everything!

  • A full discussion of how to improve your mental state and natural charisma to prepare you for the streets
  • Detailed advice on how to scan those streets to determine which girls are likely to want to talk to you
  • Techniques that ‘power up’ your interactions, letting you leap from social to sexual right there on the street
  • How to get the girls out on dates, explored in extreme detail using many real-life WhatsApp chats with analysis of what to do at every step
  • The most insightful analysis of first dates ever created. Every step of the dating model is explored using transcripts of real life dates
  • Detailed insight on how to handle the tricky period of getting a girl back out onto a second date in another chapter loaded with real life examples
  • How to recognise the next date is the ‘sex date’ and then how to take her home
  • How to satisfy a girl in bed so she keeps coming back.

Daygame Infinite is the most advanced and most detailed book ever written on the subject of picking up girls. It’s a 524-page treasure trove of insight. And now it’s available to you in a handsome full colour hardback edition. This is your opportunity to purchase a guide book that will improve your game for years to come.

Daygame Infinite interior hardback 1.jpg

Step-by-step dating advice

Daygame Infinite interior hardback 2

Step-by-step texting advice

Buy it now by following these simple instructions.

STEP ONE: Select the correct price for where you will take delivery of the book. Prices differ because the book is printed at the nearest print location to you, to reduce shipping costs and get it to you faster: UK £79, USA $119, CAD $150, AUS $145, EU e99, Rest of the World £99  [all prices include trackable shipping]

STEP TWO: Paypal me at Be sure to include your name, postal address, the words “Daygame Infinite” and a telephone number for the UPS delivery man. See this example. You need to provide all of the information requested with the red stars * on the right side.


STEP THREE: Rub you hands in keen anticipation of how much your game will improve!

Thank you for your time. I hope you enjoy the book.

Nick Krauser

UPDATE: Many people have asked me how to buy the book if they don’t have PayPal. Simple! Just email me at the same address and I’ll send you a payment request. Be sure to tell me which country it is to be delivered to. Then follow the instructions in the message PayPal give you.

How To Write A Memoir #3

December 27, 2017

Many of you will be leveraging your existing lay reports – blog or forum – as the raw data for a memoir. This means you are taking one kind of writing (dry, technical, jargon) and converting it into another (vivid, clear, dramatic). You are turning a report into a story. Let’s consider how to do that.

I’m currently writing volume three of my memoir. That was originally based on lay reports because I’d blogged every single lay from the period shortly after it happened. This gives me a great resource for the book: extreme detail, nothing forgotten, and an accurate picture of how it felt at the time. It also carries a few drawbacks.

  • I was writing the blog to a technical crowd in a niche who had been following my blog posts and thus knew all about where I was, what I was up to, and all the in-jokes and innuendos I make.
  • By writing it as a lay report, you already knew how it ended. There is no dramatic tension.
  • By writing it in 2013, usually just a day or two after the events, I had great recall for details but didn’t have the perspective I have now, five years later. I’ve learned a lot since and ruminated on the larger sweep of my journey so it would be nice to let that inform the memoir version of the story.
  • My key concerns in the blog post were to record events and to analyse why this particular pick-up was a success so I could thus develop my technique [1]

The challenge for a memoir writer is to keep all the advantages of the lay report while eliminating all the weaknesses, and if possible, to add more value through the longer word count and greater freedom that a memoir format allows. Let’s use an example of mine that I’ve recently worked on.

First, the original blog post. Give it a read, then the following comments will make far more sense. Let’s first look at the setting of the scene in the blog post vs it’s later re-write in the memoir. Firstly the blog:

“Girl 3 – On Saturday night in Lapa I’m pretty drunk. Suave points out a curvy black girl he thinks I’ll like so I give chase. Its an easy stop and she has faltering English. I’m full of ballsy insolence and soon mini-bounce her to the kerb. Ten minutes chat and I take a number and bounce again to a nearby bar then soon kiss close. The party is winding down by 3am, an hour or so later, so I suggest a motel. She says no. I lead her to a cab and try to bundle her in. She runs away”

Now how I rewrote it in the memoir [2]

  My adrenaline still running high, Fernando and I went off to Lapa for the evening. It’s well known for its weekend street parties as tourists descend to sample the street vendor cocktails and food. It’s close to a favela so there’s an edgy vibe. Gringos like me can’t tell who are the honest poor come to have fun, from their less upstanding neighbours who’ve come to do their weekly cashless shop from the pockets and handbags of such gringos.
The party is all along one road that’s pedestrianised for the night and thronged with bars and restaurants, as well as lots of little makeshift stalls that magically appear then disappear just for the night. As a daygamer I was drawn to the high footfall, reasonable demographics, and soft bright gutter game vibe. It was by far the best street game I’d seen in the whole country. The only drawback was most girls hung out in groups.
My spirits were lifted. “My spirits are lifted” I told Fernando. “Maybe your country isn’t total shit after all.”
We stopped a few girls and cracked on, farming a few numbers, then posted up on a first floor balcony of a bar. Dusk was cutting in and the breeze was now refreshingly cool. I liked these bars. Colourful, lively, and gameable. It made me wish I was better at bar game.
We chatted a lot between ourselves and watched pro boxing on the bar’s television. Then we walked a little and found another bar. We gradually realised there weren’t so many classic daygame sets – solo girls walking somewhere – so we talked to a few girls standing around in groups. Fernando had a few solid-looking interactions whereas the language barrier hobbled me.
Fairly late on, when I was “in my cups”, I saw a girl sitting on a concrete traffic bollard at an intersection. The traffic was all blocked off and a crowd filled the road. She had a bottle of beer I’d seen her buy from a street vendor a few metres away. The couple of friends she’d been with had disappeared into the crowd, no doubt socialising.
I fancied her. My spider sense told me I should open.
“Hi. I’m Nick” I said, a big smirk on my face. She smiled and indicated me to sit on the bollard next to her.
Rebecca had dark shoulder-length hair in a soft wet perm, a lovely beguiling smile and good hips. She had the hamster look and her English was passable. It went well.
Being black, I assumed she was a favela kid.”

That’s 421 words in the memoir to describe a scene that’s three sentences in the blog. Rather than say “On Saturday night I’m in Lapa and I’m drunk” I actually set the scene of what Lapa is like with it’s people, it’s look, and it’s feel. I’ve written Fernando in as a character who has dialogue so I can build the friendship in the book (he doesn’t speak in this excerpt but he does before and after). The conversation with Rebecca is written as dialogue and events, not as an executive summary. She even has a name! The memoir style works well for indicating how you feel and what your thoughts were at the time, in this case I talk about my adrenalin (I’d just been mugged at gunpoint two hours earlier), my spirits and my assumptions about her.

Let’s look at the next 191 words to rewrite the second half of the blog excerpt above:

  “No, I am an auxiliary administrator” she said. I recognised her employer’s name, a mega-corporation. She further told me she’s twenty-four, from Bahia, Salvador, in southernmost Brazil, and was working part time while studying law. It was going well and after five minutes I felt it was really on. Rebecca kept staring at me wide-eyed like a deer caught in a car’s headlights.
I moved her to a bench a couple of metres away, and we made out. It was well after midnight and the party was winding down, so I decided to pull the trigger. Fernando had already texted that he was going off to do sets until I finished.
“Let’s go to a motel” I suggested, remembering Ana from the carnival.
“No, I should go home” she remonstrated.
We walked further down the road, my mind on getting her away from friends who may pop up at any moment. She was leaning into me and smiling so when we reached a taxi rank I tried to pull her in.
“No! I don’t want” she said, and scurried off quickly. I got the taxi home alone.

Again the principle lesson is that I’ve turned an executive summary of events into a scene. It has dialogue, characters, and actions. So, the learning points for you are:

  • Take your time. You have a lot more words in the memoir so you can afford to patiently set the scene, include your inner thoughts, and expand on events.
  • Try to turn summary of “she did this, then I did that” into a scene in which characters interact and there’s dialogue. Don’t say “She said she wanted to go” as a summary, but instead let her say it as dialogue.
  • Cut out most of the PUA jargon and instead use regular English.
  • In the blog you are the centre of the world and everyone else is a prop. In the memoir you are the narrator and main character, but there are also other characters who have their own motivations, lives, and who express themselves through dialogue and action.

NEWS: I had an email from UPS today to say no-one was in when the final Daygame Infinite test print was delivered. Bullshit. I was sitting by the door all morning [3]. I’m guessing the driver got the wrong house. It’s due for redelivery tomorrow. If that test print is good I’ll officially release. You can buy the pre-release full colour version here.

COMMENTS: Remember, all comments discussing the content of Daygame Infinite should be collected on this post, to keep them all in one place.

[1] And of course to boast. “Look at me! I got laid again!”
[2] Second draft, mind you, so don’t expect Dickens.
[3] In my monster feet and dressing gown

Daygame Infinite Discussion Thread

December 24, 2017

It’s that time of year when the Daygame Infinite early-adopters are receiving their copies of the new book through the post. I’ve already had a few mails to confirm receipt. I’m very interested to hear feedback on the book and I’ll bet many of you will have your own contributions and musings on the ideas contained therein.

Masterfully Infinite

Me being all cool and masterful, yesterday

So, in the interests of making the discussion as productive as possible, let’s try to keep it all on one thread. I’ve got no particular requests or guidance for the discussion, other than you keep it focused on the book and its ideas [1]. If you want to get into tangents, please use comment sections of other posts.

If any comments catch my eye as good analysis or things I’d like to give my own thoughts to [2] I’ll update this post to boost the signal.

The pre-release version is still on sale here.

[1] For example, “Nick discusses Echart Tolle’s concept of the Now in daygame which reminds me of RSD’s take in The Blueprint Decoded” is relevant here. In contrast, “Tyler ripped off half of the Blueprint content from Frank Kern’s Core Influence video” is not relevant to Infinite and therefore better discussed in a different blog post.

[2] Or they satisfy my vanity and I wish to prolong the moment by re-posting it.

How to write a memoir #2

December 21, 2017

Part One is here

Should I use a ghost writer? you may ask. Let’s try to answer that by seeing what it entails. The short answer is: if you are cash-rich and time-poor then maybe.

First let’s be clear what “ghost writing” in this context actually means. I’d say the traditional layman’s conception relates to books “written by” a celebrity, about a celebrity, and then foisted upon the mass market. Think of Katie Price, or David Beckham, or One Direction. These people are obviously not doing any of the writing themselves. Instead, a professional ghost writer will do a ton of research from publicly available sources (especially newspapers) and then book a number of interviews with the aforementioned celebrity to fill in all the blanks and get a few stories and quotes. They’ll take their fee and maybe not even put their name on the book.

You won’t be getting that service. Your life isn’t documented in the public record and you’re not famous enough to be sufficiently profitable for that kind of effort to be spent on you.

Katie Price - You Only Live Once - Book Launch

“I did it all myself. Yesterday”

How about all those Amazon millionaires who use ghost writers? Somebody will set up a strong brand (e.g. a Twilight rip-off sexy vampire series) and then hire other writers to produce content to be sold under the brand-owner’s name. A big-budget version of this is the Tom Clancy series. Well, they are basically a marriage of a brand with an army of content producers. Not really suitable here as you don’t have a profitable brand.

Worse yet, they are fiction. A fiction ghost-writer can work to a story outline and generate their own content based on imagination. You are writing a non-fiction memoir that sticks to facts, more like journalism. Thus the ghost writer can only write based on information that you personally tell them. You need to be far more intimately involved. You can’t just point them in the right direction and wait for them to return with a finished manuscript.

So here we have a problem. We don’t have the budget for a proper ghost writing service, and we are writing about subjects that need massive personal input. It’s not really outsourced. So, what are the options? You need to think of ghost writing as a labour-saving device, and then ask yourself whether the cost justifies the amount of labour saved. I tried different writers and set-ups for my memoir series and this is what I learned.

1. Cost
The going rate on contractor sites such as UpWork is $1,000 for 70,000 words. There’s variation around that but not much. This immediately puts the ghost-writing option into a whole new category of financial commitment compared to doing it all yourself and spending just $100 on cover and layout. You can’t save costs by going brown because writing a book requires a native English speaker of decent IQ and Western cultural understanding. Filipinos and Indians can do cheap art design effectively but not cheap writing of PUA memoirs.

2. Advertising
Let’s say you use UpWork. Take great care in being very specific in what you want. Tell them your target wordcount (70k-ish), the subject matter (sexcapades), your timescale (a few months), what you can give them as information (blog posts, diary, skype calls), and maximum budget (£1k-ish). Also tell them it’s squalid unPC stuff so anyone with moral or ideological reservations should not apply. That’ll save outrage and wasted time later in the process.

Writer 1

Pay a little extra if you find this guy

3. Selection
You need to be sure of two things in particular. Firstly, that the writer isn’t a prick [1] who will waste your time or get on your nerves. You’ll be spending a lot of time talking to them so reject proposals from anyone who gives you a gut feel that they are a bad fit. Secondly, you need to know they can actually write. Ask for portfolio samples and ask pointed questions about their writing process. What do they expect from you in order to work? If still unsure, suggest a smaller fee for a single chapter and then decide whether to hire them for the whole book afterwards [2]

4. Process
The usual process is to collect together all of your material into one document. So if you’re a blogger that means copy paste the posts in chronological order for the period within scope. Also plan out the book structure and discuss themes you want to cover. Decide the characters who are in the story. Expect one or two Skype calls to hammer out this pre-production. After that you’ll be having Skype chats every week or so where you tell your stories and they ask questions. They’ll record you, and I suggest you record it too as a back-up. At some point they’ll tell you they have enough to work on and they’ll disappear for a while until ready with a first manuscript. Perhaps you’ll have the contract set up with a few milestones to deliver on and pay.

That sounds great if you’re not much into writing but have a bit of cash lying around and a good story to tell, no? There’s a problem though.

There’s a reason these guys are on UpWork charging just $1k for such a huge amount of work. They just aren’t very good. Some are decent writers but they are hobbled by a structural problem: a memoir should be in your voice, with your humour and insight, and they are not you. I found this out the hard way with volume one of mine, Balls Deep. My ghost writer did as well as I could reasonable expect of her but I just wasn’t happy with it. I knew I had to re-write the whole thing. I soon came to the following conclusion [3]

Ghost writing is simply an intermediary step in a writing process done mostly by you

Think of it this way…. You do the first twenty percent of the work, by formulating the stories in your mind, deciding how the book will be, selecting content, and putting it all together into a plan. You also do the last fifty percent of the work in rewriting everything line-by-line multiple times, adding more content, editing and preparing for publication. The ghost writer does about thirty percent.

The ghost writer is the person who helps you over the hump, in filling all those blank pages with something you can work with.

For many of you, including myself, that’s a valuable service. Hiring a ghost writer ensured I got the books done. It allowed me to be more ambitious in scope. It gave me a weekly discipline of Skype chats and furnishing extra documents to ensure the project moved relentlessly forwards [4]. It gave me a sounding board to whom I could tell my stories and get feedback.

Deplorable Cad

Would you believe it? ANOTHER memoir!

What a ghost writer won’t do, in our circumstances, is write the book for you. Which is probably precisely what you’d hoped they’d do. To summarise, there are two scenarios in which I’d recommend using a ghost writer:

  1. You have a pile of money, are itching to tell your stories, and are happy to spend an hour or two talking into Skype video chats each week for a few months. You can pretty much delegate everything and have a nice little book for posterity.
  2. You like writing and want to focus all your energy on the high-value bits while delegating some grunt work to someone else. You are happy to rewrite the manuscript several times to get it into your own narrative voice [5]

There’s also a lower-budget halfway house which is to tell your stories into your smartphone’s audio recorder, get the files transcribed [6], and then go through the transcript yourself turning it from speech to prose.

IN OTHER NEWS: The first copies of Daygame Infinite were delivered today so I suspect the word-on-the-street will begin now some people have seen it. I’m interested to know your feedback. Inquiring minds can buy it here.

[1] I had one silly bitch waste months of time through her procrastination and avoidance before I fired her.
[2] Personally, I’d recommend hiring a writer who makes her living writing smut for Amazon, like vampire porn or a writer who specialises in biographies.
[3] Which was confirmed with the next three volumes.
[4] Otherwise I’d have likely just played video games and the projects would’ve stalled indefinitely, like Jimmy’s book.
[5] I don’t mean to be rude to my ghost writers. This was still very helpful. But if you compare my final manuscript with the ghost writer’s turn-in you’re basically reading two completely different books.
[6] Going rate is $20 per audio hour, so total price will be around $250. That’s how I started Adventure Sex.

How To Write a Memoir #1

December 19, 2017

You are all no doubt aware of my Winter Memoir Challenge. A couple of you have taken me up on the offer [1] and one has even sent his first chapter for review. With this in mind, I thought I’d offer up some thoughts on how to write your memoir so as to avoid the usual pitfalls. This post is all about the inner game of writing.

1. Just write the bloody thing.
The biggest single obstacle to a memoir writer is procrastination. You see hundreds of blank pages stretching far ahead of you and it appears daunting. Therefore your primary objective is to fill those pages. Don’t second-guess yourself, don’t get bogged down in narrative arc or how to perfectly express any given point. Just write. Imagine yourself telling each story in the pub to your friends and then write it whatever way it flows out of you. It’s far easier to perfect a first draft you’ve already written than it is to write a perfect first draft from scratch.

balls deep

A memoir, yesterday

2. Your first way of writing is the best way, for now.
Writing your book is not a one-shot deal. You get the chance to edit, re-write and expand it as many times as you wish. I usually do five or more passes through my memoirs before they hit the publisher (and the editors and test readers on top of that). Don’t try and cram everything in on the first draft. Concentrate on just getting the core story down. Everything else can be added, deleted, or polished in a later pass.

3. You’ll find the book in the writing of it.
Few good novelists have a detailed plan of the book when they first start writing. Usually they just have a vague idea, and a few elements (e.g. a plot point, or a key character, or a theme). As they write they hit a flow and the rest of the story starts to fall into place. New ideas occur all the time while writing, much more so than they do if you’re just ruminating on a blank page. By the half-way point of writing you’ll have gotten a clear idea where you want the book to go even if you didn’t have a clue when you first started.

4. You already have all the facts.
Fiction writers need to create characters, develop them, and figure out how they’d believably act. You don’t need to because you already know these people and how they acted. Fiction writers need to create plots and advance them. You don’t because reality did that for you. Fiction writers need to research locations. You’ve already been there. Fiction writers need to spin stories different ways to find a way that’s compelling. You already did that in the pub with your mates the day after it happened. All the content and detail you need is already in your head. Anything extra can be added after you’ve finished the first draft.


Find a flow. Don’t go mad.

5. A memoir is really a series of anecdotes.
Every girl you fuck or fail to fuck is a chapter. Every trip you did is a collection of chapters. Every key insight or leap forwards is a chapter. Your 70,000 word memoir is really a collection of 2-3,000 word individual stories. Write them one at a time. Put them in chronological order. Then write a couple of additional chapters to link them thematically. There’s your book. You don’t need to write them in order.

6. You already have a compelling thematic structure.
Almost every memoir (volume one, at least) will be the Hero’s Journey and it goes like this:

  • Chapters 1,2: My pre-game life. I was clueless and here’s a few funny/tragic failure stories of it.
  • Chapters 3,4: I hear about game. I’m intrigued but it takes a while to take the big step. Some friends encourage me, others discourage me. I have self-doubt whether I can/should try it. Mention who you read/saw on YouTube.
  • Chapter 5: I start game. Woah, it’s exciting and tough. Look at all these strange people I met.
  • Chapter 6-10: I run around doing game. Here’s what I was learning, and some successes and failures. Perhaps a lay report or a few.
  • Chapter 11: I realise it’s a lot deeper than just telling girls they look French. Some inner game thoughts.
  • Chapter 12-end of book: Mostly girl stories of failure, near miss, or lays. Some mention of a technical or mindset point you learned from each.
  • Chapter 20-ish: A major setback or meltdown. Perhaps feeling like you’ve crossed over out of the Blue Pill world.
  • Last Chapter: Fuck me, that was a wild ride!

Obviously you don’t need to follow that structure but if one hasn’t occurred to you, this one won’t put you far wrong.

I’ll do more posts later. For now I just want to impress upon you that writing a book-length memoir is not actually such a daunting task. Grind out the chapters like you’ve been grinding out the sets. The book will find itself in the process.

[1] And the offer is still open if you’re still on the fence and haven’t pulled the trigger before giving it your all [2]
[2] That’s an example of the type of cliche-ridden sentence a memoir-writer should avoid like the plague [3]
[3] As is that one, dull as dishwater [4]
[4] And that one. Though the footnote tomfoolery also represents the kind of immersion-breaking self-satisified meta writing that you should also avoid [5]
[5] Like the above comment. Okay, I’ll stop now.

If you enjoyed reading about writing a memoir, perhaps you’d like to read a memoir that’s already been written by the writer writing about writing one