How to escalate the “no kiss” girl

July 28, 2016

Some girls, especially the k-selects [1], will have a “no kiss” rule on the first date. They may also give you a pretty strong pseudo-LJBF attempt that makes you wonder if they’ve only come on the date as an excuse to drain you of fine dining and attention.

Don’t despair! There’s a way to escalate these girls. But before we get to it, let’s understand the female psychology underlying it [2].

A non-starter for Ratbag Game, yesterday

A non-starter for Ratbag Game, yesterday

Women have a logical forebrain that serves as the repository for all her social programming, cultural knowledge, memories, and self-conception. When Olga thinks about “Olga” she locates said Olga as residing in the front of her brain [3]. While the forebrain is not where women make their decisions it can frequently act as a filibuster to prevent any decision getting made in your favour. Women also have an emotional hindbrain which is the wellspring of her emotions and animal drives, including the one we exploit most – money [4]. Sorry, I mean lust. This is what you need to tap into to create the tingles that motivate her to give you both happy times.

Broadly speaking, it’s best to think of the hindbrain as your target and the forebrain as a formidable obstacle that must be swatted away, smashed down, or otherwise surmounted. Plug into her hindbrain to heat it up while simultaneously lulling her forebrain to sleep.

So how does this relate to “no kiss” girls?

A girl will giggle at your street game, exchange numbers, doll up for a date, and put herself in front of you all because the hindbrain is running the put-yourself-in-front-of-cool-guy-to-get-fucked script [4a]. Despite this moving her feet to put herself into your snare, her forebrain may simultaneously persuade her that she’s “only coming out because she’s bored” and she’s “not going to kiss this guy because it’s not like that.”

Remember “Olga” resides in the forebrain, so Olga thinks the forebrain is making the decisions. Having drawn her pre-date no kiss line in the sand, she’s pretty sure she can have the date, absorb the happy feels, and return home unfucked.

"I am Olga's pea-sized green cog"

“I am Olga’s pea-sized green cog”

Recognise this is what you’re dealing with – a girl using her forebrain rules to shackle her hindbrain tingles. A successful player naturally aims to ratchet up those tingles while weakening the forebrain defences. Think of yourself as a PUA Soros riling up an animalistic Syrian mob to batter at the walls of her nation while your intellectual Jews neutralise the guards. You want her hindbrain to overrun the forebrain.

This is an escalation gambit I’ve frequently done with great success on those K-selects [5]

1. Run the beginning of your date the usual way. If she doesn’t refuse your early escalation or kiss, you may not have to deploy any of this. Just proceed as normal. If she doesn’t make a big deal of “no kiss”, just proceed as normal and do your usual repeated kiss close attempts later.

2. If she raises an actual explicit verbal objection, you are dealing with a forebrain line in the sand. For example:

  • “I am not available. I am here to practice my English.”
  • “I am not one of those easy [insert current country] girls. I do not kiss strange men.”
  • “What do you expect from this meeting?”

3. Deal with the objection in an equally logical, calm, and non-evasive manner [6]. Be patient in typing it into GoogleTranslate if you must. The jist of the reply should be this – something I’ve used twice this week:

“I find you pretty. So I want to flirt with you and find out more about your character. If we match well and I decide I like you, I will try to kiss you.”

Usually that’ll trigger some follow-up talk, which may include her doubling down on the bad stuff. Hold your ground and project outcome independence – you want her but you don’t need her.

“You do what is best for you. I know women are completely whimsical, so I never expect anything from them. I’m a man, so once I decided I like you, I must make my interest clear. That’s why I tried to kiss you.”

You’re nearly done with the logical bullshit. Time to close it off and move on.

“I’m a man, it’s my role to try. You’re a woman, it’s your job to resist. I understand it. It’s nature.”

4. Do not hammer the point. We are not trying to logic the girl into having sex. This is all about neutralising the forebrain (which must be done either logically or rhetorically) so that she has nothing solid to hold onto and fight against. Say the above things once and move on. Close the book. It’s time to go hindbrain. Let her stew on the logic while you change the conversation back to whatever it is you like that isn’t arguing over why she won’t kiss.

5. Tell her she has lovely hair. Move her shoulders around so you’re behind her like a hairdresser and then start combing it out with your hands. Play with it a little. Pull it into a pony tail then fan it out over her shoulders like a shampoo commercial girl. Scratch her temples a little like a cat. All the time ask her mundane questions about how often she washes it, how long her haircare takes each day, what the longest length was and so on. You are singing the lullaby to her forebrain while tingling the hindbrain. Occasional reach for a handful at the nape and give it a light tug – a mild version of if you were fucking her.

She's thinking of dick

She’s thinking of dick

6. Play with her fingers a bit, letting them rest on your thigh as your do so. Perhaps pull her head in to rest on your shoulder as your do it.

Let’s pause a moment to consider what’s going on here. This only works if she actually fancies you and thus the hindbrain is giving permission to paw at her. If she’s purely tooling you, she won’t allow this and it works as a compliance test to filter her out. If she rejects even this, pay your side of the bill and walk out [7] If her hindbrain does like you, you are getting to softly warm her up without giving her forebrain reason to suppose your are crossing her line in the sand. She’s still thinking “I won’t let him kiss me. He’s wasting his time. I have morals, unlike those other whores.”

7. Now you’re going for it. Play with her hair again but this time softly sweep it away to one side to expose her neck. Now lightly blow or bite her neck. If she doesn’t pull away you are golden [8]. Don’t spend too long at it, just ten seconds or so before stepping back. Rinse and repeat [9].

8. Move on to her ears. Continue your patter but slow down your words and lower the tone into a bedroom voice. It’s great to keep talking non-sexual rubbish (I often recite my favourite pizza combinations) while your mouth is so close she can feel your breath in her ear. Sometimes let a full breath into her ear, or nibble the lobe. Often I do this while still holding the hair in a pony tail. It really doesn’t take much of this to heat her right up. The hindbrain is ready to go.

9. At a high point pull her head in to lean on your shoulder, breath all over her forehead and down over her eyes (out of your nose, which should be positioned a bit higher than her brow). Then tilt her chin up with your fingertip and kiss close.

[1] Nearly every hot slavic girl.
[2] “Understand psychology? What a faggot! I just barrel straight ahead with Yes Girls because I’m a baller” says clueless forum legend.
[3] You can test this on yourself by asking yourself where “you” resides in your internal talk.
[4] I’ve been reading US blogs by the Pocket Square Faggot crowd lately. Sorry. Won’t happen again.

[4a] Unless you ask her where the pet shop is and GALNUC your close, in which case she’ll activate the don’t-get-fucked script immediately.
[5] It’s totally unnecessary on r-selects because they have no such barriers to surmount.
[6] I realise I’ve just lost 50% of the PUA crowd right there.
[7] I lost all the Pocket Square Faggots there. Sorry, we aren’t into Game to get tooled by lifestyle whores.
[8] And if she does pull away, try again later.
[9] That haircare metaphor was postively literary. As smooth as silk. They cascade down from my keyboard like Rapunzel just leant out of her tower [10]
[10] That one is a simile, because I used “like”

If you thought this post contained unnecessary insults, you should see my book. You cunt.

Join the secret society – Citydaygame edition

July 14, 2016

I checked my pedometer today and realised I’ve averaged 15km every day I’ve been in Prague on my latest jaunt. No wonder my feet ache. It’s been a funny old time – I got a notch on my first full day, then maybe deflowered a virgin on the second (there’s some confusion over if I had my dick fully in for the relatively short time it lasted before she ran), got a blowjob off a 17yr old bisexual an hour after gutter gaming her, and there were a few lesser stories in the mix. It felt like I was in some kind of secret society. A tiring society. So tiring I can’t be bothered to write blogposts. In fact the only thing I can be bothered to write is a Pokemon Go style easter egg. So as I’m recently won’t to do, I tapped up the citydaygame boys for some content. This time Colombia-slayer Vaughn offers his thoughts on entering the Secret Society. Do check out their blog for lots of player’s journey stories.

Uni days, artist's impression

Uni days, artist’s impression

I was a complete loser with girls throughout my school days and at University. During Uni I was obsessed with three girls, one was the sister of one of my best friends. A blonde girl with big tits and blue eyes. She’d come up to visit her brother and fuck one of the popular guys in our group. I tried everything to get her to like me, and wondered what the other guy had that I didn’t. We’d all go out and drink together, she’d tease me, I thought I had a chance with her. I was deluded.

The 2nd was the first girl I fingered, I cooked her a romantic dinner to win her over, she was impressed. After dinner I tried to escalate, I had no clue, we were kissing in her bed I got my hands down her panties and rubbed her pussy roughly. That’s as far as I got, we didn’t meet again. She went off to Canada for a year, where she fucked a boatload of Canadian guys.

The third girl I had a thing for, was short athletic and pretty. One Valentines day, I made her a trail of messages, I remember making the clues and hiding them around our shared house. I wanted to show her how much I liked her. I cringe looking back now. I did “win” a pity date with her, which was just a way for her to get me on my own and let me down gently. She put me firmly into the friend zone.

I had no clue how to seduce any of these girls and all my attempts ended in brush offs or friend-zonings. Even the tried and tested, get them drunk and hope for the best didn’t work, at least for me. Looking back, I can see all the failures, failure to escalate them, failure to isolate, getting too drunk, over investment, pedestalisation. I had zero game, I didn’t even know what game was. What was worse I had no idea how to change this. In the end I did lose my virginity.

One night I was out in a club, a girl said “I like your hair”, she drunkenly kissed me, then a taxi back to mine, my first same night lay. She mounted me on my bed and took my virginity, I was 21, we dated for a while, I thought we’d be together for ever, we were a terrible match. I visited her after her first night at her new industry placement, she’d been partying the night before with her new colleagues., she was very hungover. I sensed something was different, she sat me on her bed and dumped me. She told me she’d kissed a guy the previous night, I was devastated. I’m still unsure whether she’d fucked the guy as well. Thinking back, of course she fucked him. I left her flat and actually cried.

Re-enactment with actors

Re-enactment with actors

Fast forward 15 years, the last girl I fucked was a cute Colombian air hostess 10 years my junior, one hour before I had to get my flight to London and 45 mins before she had to start work on her flight. It was a fast 25 mins of sex. I couldn’t find her place in a Bogota suburb, I was an hour late. Her two female housemates had just arrived home, she was rushing to get ready for her work and I had to get my flight soon. She was on her period too, this shouldn’t work.

I enter her room, 5 minutes of chat and 10 minutes later I’ve rubbered up and am banging her on her bed, she’s half dressed in her trolley dolly uniform and trying to keep quiet so her housemates don’t hear. I’m halfway through and her housemate calls her name, knocks on her door and asks her something in Spanish.  She motions me to be quiet. I pause, she shouts an answer. A quick exchange in Spanish, interval over. She’s back grabbing at my ass, pulling me deeper into her, I resume banging her, she’s still trying to keep quiet, she’s not doing a good job at it.

I calculate how long I have to get my flight, and realise I need to finish soon. I ramp it up, and fuck her hard, cumming as she gasps. We lay there for a couple of minutes, I pull the condom off and throw it on the floor.

She turns on the lights, the condom is a red bloody mess, I look at my groin and see the splatters of blood. I pull my pants and walk naked to her bathroom. I clean my cock in her sink and use the hand towel to dry it off. When I return she’s removed her uniform and is ready for a shower. I dress and sit in the lounge room, her two housemates eye me. I smirk and ask one of them to call me a taxi. The girl leaves the shower and dresses. my taxi is arriving. We kiss and she whispers “thank you”. I rush to the airport and just manage to catch my flight.

The younger version of myself wouldn’t have imagined that this pre-flight fuck was possible. I would have been disgusted with fucking a girl on her period. How things change.

Through months of cold approach and dates I’ve internalised much of the skill set (taught in Daygame Mastery) and tools used in Daygame and by doing this I’ve given myself the ability to act on opportunities with women when they arrive. You can come from really terrible to beginnings like me and still learn to slay pussy. I’m 36 and get more girls than I ever did in my early 20s. It takes time, effort, pain and applying the lessons but the rewards are worth it.

Daygame and cold approach enrich your life, they give you stories and excitement, it’s dangerous, dirty and fun. You realise what is possible and you can’t imagine a life without it. When the secret society opens it’s bloody gates and lets you in, you won’t want to leave.

If you thought that post expertly retold a daygame journey with dramatic flourish, you should see my old book.

Pain, Entitlement and Horrible Vibe

July 6, 2016

I was sitting outside TGI Friday’s with Bodi* having a grand old time. We were in good spirits and chatting about Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends And Influence People. Regular viewers of my half-assed YouTube channel will remember I discussed his brilliant polemic** on why dogs are so immediately likable and what we can learn from it as daygamers. I call it Happy Dog Face.

Let’s talk about that first impression.

As I stuffed some tacos into my greedy mouth I felt an ominous vibe approaching, like a cold wind chilling my bones. My milkshake curdled and clouds gathered overhead. This could only mean one of two things – either the frequent showers that beset 2016 Central Europe had returned, or worse….. some local “hardcore daygamers” were walking by.

It was the latter.

Three angry men walked past with an aggressively entitled vibe. They were strung out in a row like Italian tourists, no doubt “commanding the street” in their own minds*** They didn’t talk to each other. Each held his face in a frozen expressionless glare as if any hint of fun would be beta. They looked pained. And not just pained – they looked angry, like the world owed them success and somebody somewhere had stolen it from them. Their eyes value-scanned the oncoming girls without any excitement or desire – they were more like Jews sizing up a mark. They each walked in exactly the same manner and even fell into lockstep like a parade ground squad.

It was absolutely bizarre to watch. It was a studious, practiced attempt to be cool that created exactly the opposite effect. What would an approaching girl see, should she clock them in her RAS?

  • Anger
  • Bitterness
  • Joylessness
  • Revenge for imagined injustices****

We all learned at school that the least cool kids are the ones who try hard to be cool. It’s meant to appear effortless***** Things got worse when pretty girls walked past. One particular young filly sauntered past with full hips, tight shorts, flimsy vest, and dreamy smile. A lovely girl. I scanned her and immediately liked her. It was tempting to put down my taco and give chase but I’d done a few sets and wanted to rest my feet.

The three stooges all aggressively scanned her then shook their heads.

A Yad stop, yesterday

A Yad stop, yesterday

A bit later I saw their leader****** in set with a girl outside the mall. Although an aspiring daygamer would look at his set and think it was solid technique, I just saw black clouds above him. What were the tells that this set was going to flake?

  • Massive distance between them. She didn’t want him close and he wasn’t trying.
  • Strangely hunched shoulders with his hands clasped in front of his groin. I couldn’t tell if this was a subconscious shame in his own sexual intent (likely) or if he was just copying Yad and Jon Matrix (also likely)*******
  • Complete absence of sexual vibe or the electricity of attraction. Her smiling was like an employee laughing at her boss’s jokes, not the free easy smiling of “I love this, please continue”.
  • Neither of them were having fun. It was a stiff social interaction, like a job interview.

I kept walking, bought a takeaway coffee, and ten minutes later walked back and saw him take a flakey number from her. He puffed himself up a little and rejoined his wings******** A bit later I saw him open and fail to reach hook point with another girl. That’s absolutely normal in daygame and nothing to get butthurt about – some girls are busy, or taken, or just don’t fancy you – and it’s no reflection on your worth as a man. However as this girl walked off he turned and grimaced, like he’d been kicked in the nuts. It was just another case of the evil unfair world not rewarding him with the pussy he feels entitled to.

Why am I ragging so hard on this guy? His skills and aesthetic clearly mark him as an intermediate and I have no doubt he sometimes gets laid with decent girls. He’s out there cold approaching and refining his technique.

“Please Hammer, don’t hurt ’em” you plead.

The problem is he doesn’t understand the essence of daygame. He’s putting all his effort into the window-dressing rather than the underlying business engine. He’s treating daygame like a maths exam, a painful ordeal that can be aced if he just grinds through enough practice questions and picks up enough marks here and there. No, no, no! Intermediate daygame is NOT your 10/10/10/20 weekly sets. It’s not memorising the model. It’s not flicking up your toe and rocking backwards. It’s not folding your arms and looking inscrutable.

It’s not the fucking Yad Stop.

When you’re new and clueless you have to do all that. Just like an apprentice boxer must be stood in front of a mirror and told to place his feet in a weak-hand-forwards 45 degree stance, the apprentice daygame must slavishly follow the rather prescriptive advice. But if you’re 500+ sets in, it’s time to liberate yourself. The big gains in intermediate daygame come from inner game. They will visibly express themselves in recognisable technical changes that I can quite easily point out so you see ’em and mimick them (e.g. Daygame Overkill analysis) but it’s the inner game that makes them congruent and thus effective.

The essence of beginner daygame is learning to embrace the grind.
The essence of intermediate daygame is learning to love the process.

When I take wings out they are infected by my happy vibe and their state sky-rockets.********* They see that daygame is so much fun. I look forward to it like Whitney Houston looked towards her next hit on the crack pipe. I love the streets, I love the girls, and I absolutely love the thrill of stepping up to them and making a move. I walk around in a bubble of excitable energy, like a dog bounding through the shallows of a lake. It isn’t just about making me feel good, it’s about impressing upon the girl that my world is a nice place to reside.

If you find yourself muttering and grumbling about daygaming, feeling a sinking black mass in your stomach before hitting the streets, then stop and think. Repeatedly throwing yourself under the bus is not progress. Ignore that 10/10/10/20 bullshit. Don’t masochistically “embrace the grind”. That’s for beginners, as they grapple with avoidance weasels. You’re past that.

Stop treating it like a maths exam. This is how I feel going into set………

* A caramel milkshake and beef tacos without onions, if you’re wondering.
** Carnegie, not Bodi. Obviously.
*** Or “lording it” I guess. I forget the correct RSD term.
**** I find Twitter is a far better field upon which to express such emotions
***** Although it’s obviously a studious effort over a long period of time.
****** There’s always a toxic guru-acolyte dynamic in these groups.
******* Matrix is good at game but he has some odd quirks that only work for him and shouldn’t be imitated.
******** “Friends” really wouldn’t do justice to the toxic mutual value-grabbing race. It was a fragile alliance.
********* When I’m not shamelessly value-tapping them, that is.

If you think this post released secret intelligence from a private server without punishment, you should see my book. I’m taking £35 donations to the Krauser Foundation and I still haven’t been indicted by the FBI. Special terms for Saudi Arabia and Israel.

Death of a Salesman – Daygame Edition

June 30, 2016

I’ve been beavering away on my new book this week – no not volume four of the memoir, that’s finished – and frankly I didn’t feel like blogging. So I let my mind wander to an important question: do I know any solid daygamers, who post regularly about the daygame journey on their own blog, who could write a guest post here that would suit my readers? Unfortunately I don’t*. So instead I asked the boys at City Daygame to fill in. Take it away Xants…….

We were all warned of “beginners hell”.

Hmmmm, I think being a beginner in daygame is great. It’s brilliant. Enjoy it. Throw yourself into it and revel in it because when you hit the intermediate stage things can start to suck. Quite simply, you become jaded.

Starting out gives you an amazing opportunity to overcome approach anxiety. Everything is new and exciting and, if like me you were pretty shit with women before getting into daygame, you’ll be amazed at the early results: you’re getting numbers and bouncing 8s on instant dates (even though they usually go nowhere). You’ve no idea which girls will hit and which will miss so you open them all anyway and you know what? Some of them do go on dates with you, some of them will fuck you, some of them will even let you same day lay them or lose butt plugs up their ass.

Not sure you get to choose which is which

Not sure you get to choose which does which, mind

The first 6 months for a beginner, done right, can be like the honeymoon period when you first go to the gym. Follow the right programme, eat the right food and you can easily double your lifts, if not triple them. In your daygame honeymoon you can go from not getting laid at all, as I did for a while, to 2+ new notches a month with girls 10 – 15 years younger than you.

Then the wheels may fall off. A year in you may look back and realise your results have plummeted, to perhaps not even a notch per month. If so, it’s time to analyse what’s gone wrong.

I work in sales, a skillset which, fortunately for me, mirrors the daygame skillset. We say that newcomers tend to have high activity levels but low skill levels – assuming they can overcome the crippling fear of rejection which stops them from making sales calls at all. Sound familiar?

Those high activity levels alone can lead a man to early success but it’s volatile: one quarter he knocks the ball out the park, the next he strikes out**. Often his averaged performance is successful overall. As his skill level rises, however, he goes through a period of steadily good results before falling into a potentially terminal decline – due to declining activity levels. This is a bifurcation point for the aspiring salesman: either leave the industry or realise the error of his ways, up his activity and become a long term success.

This is the same challenge facing a daygamer entering his intermediate stage but struggling with dipping results.

What are the keys to enjoying that first run of success?

You do need some sales training before you make your first sales call. It’s not enough to follow a script, you need a methodology. While you certainly can’t yet handle every situation thrown at you, the methodology of the sales process steers you from Open to Close. There is no point reinventing the wheel, so you may as well learn from those who have trodden the path before. It’s only when you reach the end of the proscribed path do you need to innovate.

Personally, I learned my daygame sales process almost entirely from Daygame Nitro and Daygame Mastery and as such I can, hand on heart, recommend that process as it’s been proven to work.

Acknowledging those who came before, yesterday

Acknowledging those who came before, yesterday

To continue the analogy, sales is easier when your product is good. Of all of the successful daygamers I know (about ten men – which believe me is a big number), none are complete losers***. You need to meet a certain value threshold which means get into decent shape, dress well, and no more borderline aspergers****. If you’re told otherwise you’re being sold a pig in a poke. Some people genuinely do need to work on value before game.

Now you have a product worth selling it’s time to tell potential customers about it. When growing Microsoft into one of the biggest companies in the world, Bill Gates said ‘It doesn’t matter how good our product is, we have to tell a lot of people about it or we won’t sell anything.’ For the daygamer that means opening lots of sets, perhaps two hundred a month at first. I remember rushing out after work to meet Vaughn three nights a week to run daygame, taking Friday as a rest day, then hitting street all weekend.

In summary, you will be successful in daygame if you can manage to develop your:

  • Skills
  • Value
  • Activity

Where am I in this process? I’m in a period of decline, my new proper job has reduced my time on the streets and I’m now probably managing just fifty sets per month rather than per week. Some salesmen drop out during this period of decline. The daygame equivalent to leaving the industry is probably girlfriending a notch or living off your rotation. One particular siren has lured the goodship Xants towards the rocks and I also have a rotation on the go. It’s tempting to rest on those laurels.

But no, I’ve got no intention of quitting now so it’s time to up the activity again.

Solo, tired, appears introverted. Is there a rucksack?

Solo, tired, appears introverted. Is there a rucksack?

* lol

** I apologise for not first asking your preferred pronoun. Obviously CIS-gender men, CIS-wimmin, MTF and FTM transitions and non-binaries can all also become salesmen. Of course all but the CIS-men will be utter shit at at.

*** He hasn’t met Jimmy Jambone

**** Sorry, Johnny

If you thought this post was an interesting ramble on daygame related topics you should see their blog.

What is really stopping a beginner getting laid?

June 24, 2016

Imagine you walk into a nightclub and you’re the tallest, coolest, best-dressed, best-looking man there. Before you’ve even ordered your drink, girls have checked you out and thrown out shy smiles. You pay the bar tender, turn around and post up while gazing over the dance floor. Within moments a couple of girls are sitting on the bar stools near you to order their drinks, even though the entire length of the bar is free. It’s almost as if they are waiting for you to say something. A pair of girls on the dancefloor reposition from the centre to the outer extremity nearest your perch – one of them with her back to you, her gyrating hips drawing attention to her ass.

You sip your drink and look like James Bond for half an hour. Soon, the most enterprising girl dispenses with the charade and just comes up and says hello, finding a bullshit excuse to compliment something you’re wearing. Every time you stop talking she finds a way to continue the conversation. Finally, you suggest going somewhere else and she eagerly agrees. You take her home and fuck her after the most perfunctory LMR*

From reading this, you’re instinctively shaking your head. “This isn’t game. This is just letting girls choose you. Lucky for some!” But why do we know it’s not game **

Tight game, mate. You should post about it on RVF

Tight game, mate. You should post about it on RVF

It’s because this scenario completely bypasses the two biggest problems every normal man will face when doing game: Approach Anxiety and Attraction. These are the two killers that stop normal men banging pretty girls ***

Approach anxiety exposes you to the risk of rejection, and that carries a cost. In the worst case the girl will attempt to publicly humiliate and shame you for having the audacity to talk to her. That’s extremely rare in daygame (especially among non-native-English speaking girls) but you will get the occasional hand-waving eye-rolling “go away little man” blowout. It’s a far bigger problem in nightgame where girls are more keen to protect their social status by publicly rejecting men “below her class” and there are more people watching who may snigger or at least notice it (and you’re still in the club with them for several more hours).

Nasty blowouts are pretty rare but even kind blowouts can rattle the beginner because he’s simply not calloused against rejection. The reason this hurts is Assessment Anxiety. Like I explain in detail in Daygame Mastery****, AA is really caused by low self-esteem. Beginners know they are not very attractive to women but don’t like getting their noses rubbed in the fact. Taking your first steps on the cold approach journey means stepping out of your rejection-free comfort zone and exposing yourself to the unpleasant truth – you just ain’t all that.

Which brings us on to the next fact – most men are not attractive to most women. Does this sound harsh to you? Surely you find most young women reasonably fuckable and you wouldn’t instantly dismiss them, so why are girls so fast to dismiss men? Well, just think about this – how many women over forty did you check out today? How many fat girls did you check out? I’ll bet it was none ***** The truth is that most women are not attractive to most men either. We have exactly the same cognitive bias that women have…. namely we only really notice the members of the opposite sex that are near or above our attraction threshold. Everyone else is almost invisible.

This is a big problem in daygame. If you are unattractive to most women, then most of your cold approaches will end in rejection. This is doubly ****** true if you are aiming for a solid YHT quotient.

So we are getting at the crux of what makes game tough – you must conquer AA and you must make yourself attractive enough to draw the girl’s interest. These are very difficult to do and will involve considerable mental anguish and expended self-discipline as you climb the mountain. It will always be tempting to avoid it entirely and go back to scraping the barrel.

This is why there’s a world of difference between choosers and the chosen.

* If you then post on a PUA forum about your killer game, it’s almost certain you’re a white man in South East Asia.
** It’s “getting laid” which is still a good thing, but calling it “game” is like calling rap “music”
*** The opening scenario bypasses them because it’s using the “2-3 points below my SMV” trick. As soon as you aim that low, game is utterly unnecessary. You just smile, escalate, extract.

**** Everything is in Mastery. Just read the damn thing.
***** Unless you’re Jimmy Jambone
****** Well, quintuplly true really

If you liked this combination of words and pictures flying over your head, you should see my book.

The Maths Exam

June 23, 2016

I remember my early teenage years when Streetfighter II first burst into the arcades and revitalised the industry. There was a small shop on Clayton Street in Newcastle that housed a dozen or so cabinets and gamer nerds like me would drop several pounds in them every session. This was before the Playstation era and thus arcade games still had far superior graphics and gameplay than home systems. To say a home conversion was “arcade perfect” was high praise indeed. Fighting games came thick and fast after Streetfighter II. I remember Fatal Fury, World Heroes, Art of Fighting and many others on the Neo Geo system. The big me-too hit was Mortal Kombat. I tried it and hated it. Here’s why…..

+1, orchestra commemorates

+1, orchestra commemorates

Learning the moves was like studying for a maths exam. Nothing in the game felt intuitive. Nothing!

A button to block rather than simply hold the stick away from your opponent. Different buttons for high and low attacks rather than changing stance with the stick. But the real clunker in the Mortal Kombat repetoire was the special moves – they were hideously unintuitive. The arcade cabinet needed to have lengthy charts inserted into the front as a reference for players because nothing was as simple as the quarter-circles or forward-back-forwards of Streetfighter 2. It was a shitty game.

I’ve come to believe that too many beginners approach daygame like it’s Mortal Kombat and thus try to revise all the techniques and micro-manage themselves. Can’t say I blame them because there’s an awful lot to learn but it’s going to kill your vibe. Remember that feeling walking into your maths exam and trying to keep the formula you just revised in your mind? It’s a horrible feeling and just increases your stress. The whole of your mental energy centres on the front of your head, making the rest of your body feel hollow and unbalanced.

That’s terrible for daygame, an activity where you must project outwards from a solid core.

Projecting vibe from your core, yesterday

Projecting vibe from your core, yesterday

When I coach students I only ever give them one thing to think about when headed into set. Examples are:

  • Remember to roll your words!
  • Don’t look away until you’ve finished the opener!
  • Look for a moment to step in on her!
  • Try to spot the topic she gives you!

Any more than that and he’s not learning. It’s said that if you have more than three priorities then you don’t have any priorities. The daygame equivalent is “if you’re holding more than one technical thought in your forebrain, you’re gonna come off fake”. If you’re currently suffering from “daygame feels like studying for a maths exam” then take note. You are piling pressure on yourself and conditioning your forebrain to feel like it’s hard work. No! As my latest YouTube series presses home, there is a joy to daygame. It’s a free-flowing fun activity that you’ll often look forward to. So let’s have a little crib sheet for junking the maths and upping the joy quotient.

  • When walking around between sets, focus on loosening your body language and feeling comfortable with the streets (solo) or bantering and fooling (with wing).
  • Don’t force yourself into 10/10/10/20 sets a week. Avoid any target other than “I’ll open a girl that I like the look of”. Let the girls present themselves to you and then open the ones which give you a stir.
  • Let the “no”s happen. Avoid any “one more thing before you go” unless a clear spark of attraction has flashed through her eyes.
  • Laugh off the bad sets and take breaks any time you feel like one. If your feet hurt, sit in a cafe until they feel better.
  • Only take one technical point into a given set. Generally, I’d only advise taking one point into the whole day’s session.

I think coaches are too focused on drills that require self-discipline. We only have so much of that stuff and it drains away quickly. It’s best to daygame in a manner that trains your hindbrain that it’s a hobby not an exam.

If you think this post contained stuff, you should see my book. Loads of stuff.

The Essence Of Hook Point

June 22, 2016

I’ve been seeing a lot of “Yad” stops on the street*. It’s a much maligned form of opening but it does have it’s uses when first coaching beginners. Generally speaking, the typical beginner daygame is a bit of a faggot. He lacks physical and psychological presence and thus can’t effectively insert his presence into a girl’s day. The mechanics of the Yad Stop compensate for these weaknesses by making the open itself very flamboyant and movie-like.

I use it maybe 10% of my approaches, probably less.

An "Overkill" stop

An “Overkill” stop

Rather than get hung up on the precise mechanics of the Yad Stop (or any other stop) I decided to tweak my coaching to what I consider the essence of reaching hook point, as opposed to the superficial trappings of it. The point is not to robotically act out a series of moves, but rather it’s to convey certain characteristics to the girl in order to impress upon her a positive emotional evaluation of you. So, forget about the distance, the number of steps to take, the angle of cutting in front, where to hold your hands and so on. Fuck all that. Think about this:

  • Solid eye contact
  • A stop signal
  • Conviction

That’s the essence of every quality stop. Let’s analyse it further.

Eye Contact

You can gain and then hold eye contact with a girl from several dozen metres away if necessary so long as you have attracted her attention. This is why I might wave at a girl or shout “excuse me” very loud. Things like “excuse me, blonde girl with pink skirt” or “excuse me, hey! Tall girl walking fast. Yes, you!”. She’ll respond and you give and hold eye contact. She knows you’re there and intend to say something to her. The same applies if she’s brushing past you walking the opposite direction in a subway – force the eye contact by looking at her then when she returns the look you hold it and open. Same if she’s sitting a few tables away in a cafe.

The distance doesn’t matter. The direction doesn’t matter. You don’t need to wait for her to walk past then loop around and chase after her for a Yad Stop. So long as you have eye contact, she knows you’re initiating something with her.

Stop Signal

Now you need to command her to stop. That doesn’t mean you need to describe a wide arc towards her then leap in front as per the Yad Stop. If she’s five metres ahead of you and walking towards, just step into her path while holding eye contract, opening your mouth, and putting out your hand. Perhaps you only noticed her just as she was about to pass by you? If she IOId you can put your hand out and lightly grab her upper arm for the stop. If she didn’t, perhaps you run backwards a few steps while gesticulating her to remove her headphones. Maybe you just comically wave your hands in front of her face from a few feet away. She gets the message – you intend to stop her. So she’ll stop or she won’t.

There must be a stop moment. A clear black and white indication of stop. Once you’ve got it – from whichever angle – you will maneuver yourself directly infront of her whether that requires one step to the side, or walking ten metres across the grass.


All of this is done with conviction. You fully intend to stop her and fully expect her to respond. Of course she might just ignore you and keep walking but you are forcing her to make that decision of “No thanks, I don’t want to talk to you”. She has to turn away from you, or step around you, or turn her head away like a princess. That’s fine, and you can let her go. But she’s definitely going to know you tried.

So long as your opening follows these three principles it doesn’t matter much what the specific movements are. Don’t get hung up on the details of the Yad Stop and don’t shackle yourself to one ritualised opener. The only reason it ever worked and was thus adopted as the recognisable London Daygame Model opener is because it happened to incorporate these three elements – when done properly**

And yes, I’ve seen many beginners do Yad Stops that somehow fail to convey any of the three key principles.

She'll know you tried

She’ll know you tried

Now that you’re freed from the tyranny of micro-managing your Yad Stop, what else improves your odds of a hook point? The easiest one to learn is to roll your words. What I mean is you deliver your opener and stack by slowly speaking the words with a rhythmic cadence like you are playing new vocabulary. Try to imagine you’re speaking like waves lapping against the shore, or like a couple waltzing around a ballroom. You hook better if your vocal style resembles a dance rather than a robot.

Something like this is difficult to express in text so listen to my Joy Of Daygame infields to get a better idea (and you can also infer the above three principles from them too if you listen carefully). Another way to improve your cadence is to give yourself buffer phrases that you drop into the opener and the stack which draw out completion of the sentence while also conveying self-amusement. Consider the same information presented in two different ways:

Robot: Hi, I hope you speak English…. Great… I just noticed you and I had to say, you look very naughty. You had a cheeky smile and a sparkle in your eyes. It’s nice. You look like you’re running from the scene of a crime. Somewhere back there, a cake shop owner is reporting you to the police. “This girl came in and ate all my cheesecake without paying!”.

Cadence: Right…. ok….. phew…. [takes deep breath]….. you walk fast. Hi. I hope you speak English…. Great….. Right then, I just noticed you and….. I had to say you look very…… [looks appraisingly for a moment] … naughty. You had a cheeky smile and a sparkle in your eyes. It’s nice. You look like…… like….. hmmmmm….. like you’re running from the scene of a crime. Somewhere waaaaaay back there [gestures expansively]….. Somewhere back there, a cake shop owner is reporting you to the police….. he’s probably saying something like…. “This girl came in and, and, and, she ate all my cheesecake! Without paying!”

We often call the assumption stack the assumption story and that’s how you should deliver it – like a story to an excitable child. Draw out the words, leave pauses, repeat key words after a pause, gesture. Your delivery is at least as important as the entertainment value of the assumption itself.

* I absolutely hate the convention of naming a technique after the first person you saw do it, and thus I usually call it a Front Stop. That said, Yad is clearly the guy who introduced this style into daygame so I’ll give him credit for it here.

** I guess “when done properly” is key to every part of the model.

If you liked the furry animals referenced in this post, you should see my book. It has squirrels, cats and hamsters.