Steve Jabba’s Purple Pill

October 12, 2015

I was asked in the comments of my previous post whether I could address my areas of disagreement with Steve Jabba, specifically:

“Nick, could you please write an article on Steve Jabba’s purple pill beliefs and mindsets and where some things he says aren’t true which if you have seen his YouTube videos know DO exist. I don’t think it’s fair you point out flaws in other people but not Steve Jabba just because he’s your mate.”

Rather than bury it in the comments, it’s probably worth giving my thoughts a more prominent platform. Ok, my main area of disagreement with Steve is simple: My neck is proportionately bigger than his, where as a percentage of height, weight or ratios. But seriously, let’s first recap my working definition of the Purple Pill given earlier: “a marketing ruse to use the credibility of red pill truths but water them down with blue pill illusions so that the listener isn’t required to stare into the abyss.”

My neck, in Steve's nightmares

My neck, in Steve’s nightmares

The key component of the Purple Pill is not too much reality. We’ll have a little reality so it feels edgy but not too much to make us feel like we’re on the wrong track. Kind of like a girl wanting her boyfriend to have a motorbike but no STDs or criminal record. While I often tell Steve he’s only loosely connected to reality, there are two caveats to that:

  1. He’s written about solipsism before here. The jist is that selectively amplifying or filtering out certain parts of reality can strengthen your frame and improve your success. It’s important to do systematically in the right direction in order to shape your reality, rather than from a position of fear (and thus avoidance).
  2. He’s written about reality before here. Much of successful pick-up is about confronting reality head on and then figuring out how to adapt. Cold approach forces the world to give you accurate feedback on your value and your abilities. There’s no hiding place on the street.

Putting these two together is what some noobs / intermediates struggle to get their head around because they appear to be contradictory. Are you telling me to avoid reality and remain delusional, or to face reality head-on warts and all? Um…… both. You must go out and trigger real feedback and you must process the lessons the world gives you – so, go cold approach. However you must then use that feedback as fuel to power the reconstruction of your identity and as the armour plating on your frame. So having absorbed the reality at the first pass, you can twist reality a little on the second pass.

Think of it like quarantine in a sea port of old. All your new experiences on the street arrive at your boundary control and are placed in quarantine for examination. You get a good look at them but they are not yet allowed into the general population. After some careful consideration the experiences that will enrich your frame are welcomed in and given the red carpet walk. The undesireables are shot in the head and dumped into the sea.

Basically, how we should be handling the migrant crisis.

That outlines what I think some might think of as the reality-denying element of Steve’s “purple pill” writing. It gets quite a long treatment in his book Primal Seduction so there’s a lot more nuance and practical advice on how to do the filtering process.

Secondly, Steve is often accused of the purple pill by way of his pedestalising women and being something of a vagina-worshipper under the cloak of “loving women” (the first of the Eleven Cornerstone Characteristics that forms the centrepiece of Primal Seduction). Ok, let’s address that. This one is easy to get for men who’ve already fucked a ton of women but really tough for those who haven’t. You have to feel it deep in your bones through reference experiences.

Let me tell you the story of losing my virginity. I was sixteen years old and met a girl at a Sepultura concert in Newcastle one night. She was the friend of a girl who was dating my best friend and those two had met a couple of weeks earlier at a Metallica concert. The girls lived about 150 miles away and were here for the weekend, just for the gig. The concert finished and my girl agreed to come home with me (parent’s house) so we were waiting in the centre of Newcastle at 2am for my dad to collect us in the car. One thing led to another and I ended up fucking her in a back alley behind Fenwick’s department store.

My first SNL and first public sex

My first SNL and first public sex

It was horrendous sex, because I had no idea what I was doing. I remember my biggest surprise was how hot, wet and tight she was. My previous “experience” with naked women had been entirely from looking at soft-porn magazines (this was 1991). I knew how they looked but it had never once occured to me how they feel. It never crossed my mind that the vagina isn’t really a hole but is actually a pulsating group of muscles and thus when you stick your dick in it doesn’t feel empty.

Why do I tell you something so vulgar? Because life is full of many situations where being on the outside does not prepare you for what’s on the inside. Another example is when I went to live in Okinawa for a year when I was 24. I’d only ever seen tropical countries on TV and in magazines where they look beautiful. It never occured to me how it feels to be there. The first thing I noticed is they are very itchy places because of the mosquitos and beetles. It’s also very tiring being out in the sun without a bottle of water. Those things surprised me.

Itchy, yesterday

Itchy, yesterday

So it goes with hot girls.

Most men are intimidated by hot girls. We see them as unattainable treasure troves of hotness value and our hormones compell us to pine after them. Even when you get inside some pretty girls, you’re an outsider for the hotter girls. Being on the outside prevents you feeling the reality of being an insider. The best way to feel an insider is to actually fuck and date a hot young girl. Preferably over an extended period of time. Then you get a window into the girl’s life, and how she feels. The first thing that surprised me was she has her own problems.

I’d always thought of women as a problem for me to solve. It was a shift in reality to realise women also have men problems they must solve. It’s like sitting in your WWI trench shitting yourself at how organised the German lines looked, and then suddenly being allowed to sit in those trenches and realise they are shitting themselves at how strong the English lines look. Once you’re inside you get past the fronting and see the real chaos and held-together-with-spit-and-glue nature of people’s lives. Those of you who worked in shops will know the staff experience differs somewhat from the customer experience.

Steve has fucked a lot of hot women so he’s an insider. He’s seen how fragile they can be the next morning as they try to correct their makeup before taking the walk of shame to work. He knows they are often scared (or excitable) little girls in a hot woman’s body, trying to understand and marshall their value while under assault from hundreds of predators trying to relieve them of that value. Often those girls look at men and their insecurities surface, wondering “how can he be so confident? why can’t I be as creative and impressive as him?” Even now it surprises me when I’m on a date with a hottie and she does something that lets slip that she feels like she’s the lucky one to be there.

I think this empathy – which is commonly deeply felt by players with 100+ notch counts of hot young women – is mistaken as pedestalisation by the men who are on the outside. No, we don’t think women are better than men, or special snowflakes. No, we don’t think they lack agency or should receive a “pussy pass” for bad behaviour. No, we don’t think the family court system or job market is fair on men.

We just have a very initimate experience of seeing how these girls live and how they too have problems. You can’t help but get a bit of empathy for them. That empathy is much harder if you’re still at the stage of getting “bitch face” in your nightclub opens. There’s a long chapter in Primal Seduction about empathy and emotional sensitivity.

Socrates: A Personal Map Of The Sexual Marketplace

October 10, 2015

Here are my thoughts on a recent video making the rounds. I do suggest you watch it as the guy has put a lot of effort into building his theory and then figuring out how to present it clearly. He’s offering value and it is worth trying. However, I think he makes some serious miscues – mainly because of who he is and who he’s talking to. Like Jack Nicholson’s famous line to Tom Cruise: “You can’t handle the truth!” It’s a poster boy for the Purple Pill (a marketing ruse to use the credibility of red pill truths but water them down with blue pill illusions so that the listener isn’t required to stare into the abyss)

So I’m going to skip over the stuff he gets right (which everyone reading this blog already knows and is already amply discussed in my own Personal Map Of The Sexual Marketplace talk with Tom Torero) and fisk the bits I think he gets wrong.

The 21 Convention has always been the Chump Convention. A room full of credible chumps lectured to by a stageful of posturing pseudo-intellectuals and PUA fakers. So, it’s with a shivering unease that I considered giving ninety minutes of my life to watching one of their speakers following a recommendation in the comments. I first skimmed through, clicking along the ninety-minute bar to see if it looked interesting. I’ve been burned way too many times into wasting my time on rubbish PUA nonsense (the brown Wayne brothers, I’m looking at you).

On walks a fat bald guy with bad fashion against a David DeAngelo type background. “Hi, my name is Socrates.”

I initially suspect he’s identifying more with the philosopher than the footballer, and that it’s hardly a modest start either way, but his bio says it’s actually his birth name. Okay, can’t hold that against him. Nonetheless he comes across rather pompous, like a Blue Pill Rollo – this will turn out to be closer to the truth than I first imagine. I’m not really against a bit of pomp in a public speaker (I do like irrationally confident people) but I do find myself asking “What’s his credibility?” I don’t actually know the answer to that. He just doesn’t feel credible. An armchair philosopher.

Nick, don’t jump to conclusions, I tell myself. Give him a chance. His ideas might be good enough to render such initial impressions meaningless. His first slide is a picture of some beta chump kissing some reasonably pretty girl, like the poster photo for a Hollywood rom-com. Right from one minute in he’s setting the prize as a monogamous relationship. Okay, that’s setting the bar low. “This isn’t something easily acheived…. You have to find a partner willing to commit to this.” O…..kay.

As I find over the remaining minutes, the purpose of his talk is to re-affirm to the audience what Rollo calls men’s burden of performance. A man must work hard to earn his right to intimacy. Every day. Sustained every day as a process requiring agency.

We then begin on the meat of the talk, outlining the sexual marketplace and the language continues to confuse. I’m not against a bit of intellectual mind-wank but you’ve got to go somewhere with it. This starts off heavy with the mind-wank and needlessly verbose. He’s just telling us the obvious, dressed up in latin-derived unusual words. It’s just S&R value from Mystery Method made opaque. I can save you the first hour with one sentence: Figure out if you need to boost either your alpha or beta traits, and then do so.

Socrates defines alpha as the traits we players generally consider as “sexiness”, which I agree with. However he wants to sell “provider” / sucker traits too because he’s in the Chump Convention and that’s what his audience wants to hear. So most of the next hour is spent finding ways to redefine the attractive men having sex with hotties as somehow limited or damaged, so his audience can feel superior with their chump traits.

For example he brings out the male-dom/fem-sub dynamic and the importance of conflict in nature as we all struggle to survive and replicate. Great, I agree. But then he poo-poos it as not being a nice place to be. Well, the world is struggle. He knows the chodes in the audience don’t want conflict and dominance, they want to be told there’s still a place for unicorns and rainbows. So he introduces the concept of virtue. This is a go-to throughout the talk to baby-talk the chumps.

“Nature’s a bitch. Nature’s a deadly violent place” he says and I agree. But I don’t agree that “the people who live on this domain are equally brutish and violent.” No. Human tribes co-operate into win-win behaviours in order to lift themselves out of it and create stability. That’s also pretty well established in both the biology literature and the game theory literature. Pretty much everyone has these latter traits, except for the small number of people with outright behavioural disorders. He contrasts nature along the x axis with civilisation up his y axis. That’s where virtue resides.

It’s still very wordy. Simple anglo-derived words are not used when there’s an unweildy latin-derived one that could replace it. I appreciate his wish to stablise language and be precise but it’s sounding little different to the 1950s functionalist sociology – an empty structure of interconnected words devoid of real meaning. The power of the logic comes from it’s tautological nature of carving up a chessboard that only dimly resembles the battlefield it’s meant to represent.

He’s pushing strongly that the “vertical domain” of civilisation is where you have to live, because it’s virtuous. And here we are getting to the main limiting factor of the model – he’s feeding the chodes’ desire to use virtue as a cloak to disguise their low SMV and inability to compete.

Beta traits are NOT virtue. To say they are is a sleight of hand. Beta is SMV failure. Beta is sacrificing yourself for the team because you have to. Hot young women only care about alpha traits. Beta traits exist in another dimension entirely and only become useful in preparing the beta male as the parachute for a woman hitting the Wall. Presenting this vertical domain as a component of SMV is pushing water uphill, literally in his graph. More muddying of waters follows.

“Men and women equally display alpha traits.” I know he is precisely defining his version of alpha for the purposes of the talk, but that’s just misleading. There is no alpha in the female side. Just replication value, which is mostly youth and hotness. It’s wrong to say Beta traits are what makes the world safe to raise families. Alphas are leaders who organise and bring the group together to pacify the land and defend it from outside invaders. Think Donald Trump and immigration. Alpha is inherently important to the whole tribe’s ability to make the world safe to raise families, which is why the whole tribe doesn’t just tolerate alphas but it follows them. Betas don’t have a monopoly on it.

His high beta / low alpha guys have a strength per his formulation: teamwork, stablity, handling relationships etc. I think that’s baby-talking his audience of chodes who reside here. Really, they aren’t there due to strengths, these are just compensations for overall weakness. Team Beta pulls together. Really the beta traits he’s describing as strengths are co-dependence and people-pleasing – weaknesses in the SMP (even if they can be strengths in nation building at times).

His advice is to build everything up so you move yourself towards the top-right quadrant. It’s kinda true that if you’re high in Y (beta) then shifting along right-wards with more X (alpha) is the path to success. What’s not true is that people high in X need to add Y. If you’re already strong it’s bad advice to introduce weakness. I get to this in a minute.

17 minutes in he starts mapping familiar territories to their places on the graph, correctly identifying the friendzone. The problem is that this graph requires the friendzone to occupy one location. The reality is the friendzone is relative to the quality of the girl you’re chasing, your competition, her preferences, and her position in the life cycle. It’s more dynamic than a simple category. In his defence, that’s bloody hard to represent on a graph so I’ll give him a pass. While it’s true that you can always stay out of the friendzone, it’s also true that often you do so by never talking to the girl again rather than by fucking her.

19 minutes in he defines high SMV as “emptiness and charm” and puts it as fuck buddies. This is more sleight of hand, trying to bring virtue in to an SMV calculation. This is the centrepoint of selling his presentation to the weaselling chodes. Women really don’t care about virtue. I’m reminded of Dalrock’s post here:

“this paradigm is almost certainly crucial to his friend’s view of himself as a man with a high Sexual Market Value (SMV) and especially Marriage Market Value (MMV). The twisted thinking goes like this:

– Women are attracted to good and noble men.
– I am better and more noble than other men.
– Therefore I am more attractive than other men.

There is of course one small problem with this line of reasoning, which is that the women around Hank’s friend aren’t acting in a way that would suggest that they find him attractive. At the same time, the women around Hank’s friend are demonstrating attraction for unworthy men. This must mean that less worthy men than Hank’s friend are tricking women, essentially impersonating him. These fakers are getting in the way of women realizing how attractive he really is.”

I think this is where I really disagree. Socrates wants to make the real high-SMV men into sociopaths and psychopaths in order to clear them out the way of the mid-SMV men he wants to elevate into their position. “These are dangerous individuals. I’m not kidding.” he warns.

Ok, I think, he’s never fucked a hot girl. Men who fuck hot women don’t feel the need to disparage the other men who do. They “get it”. They know all women like sex and all will sometimes have casual sex.

The individualist Alphas are not pulling their weight for Team Beta and so he’s calling them genetically damaged: “They can’t help themselves.” I think there’s a tell here about not understanding Game. He’s talking like men only get laid off the back of physical characteristics and dominance – Game is all dark triad and looks. After briefly saying the alphas are charming he later acts like they are socially awkward (putting the “awkardness zone” as the X-axis equivalent of the Y-axis “creepy zone”)….. okay. He later says these people need to learn pro-social behaviours to move themselves further into success.

No, they just need to change objectives – they aren’t lacking the skills.

So he’s subtly letting his chump audience position themselves above these high-SMV alphas. How very gamma. As if getting casual sex with hot girls is evil. With those pesky alphas neutered Socrates can move on to describe his happy place, the dating zone. That’s the happy place because ultimately he’s selling try-hard monogamy to gamma chodes. “This is the natural position of mankind” he stastes and therefore he has to define everyone outside the happy place as damaged. He just doesn’t get r/K as permanent and fluctuating strategies.

Up towards the top-right of the graph – high enough to be badass but not so high as to be unattainable – is the “marriage potential” zone. I wondered if the marriage potential area is so small, how come most people in the history of the West managed to get there? And why is he selling marriage as the goal to a room of men when surely it’s women who are desperate for the ring? It’s because in Socrates’ world the man has a burden of performance and he’s raising the next cohort of suckers.

“If you commit outside this range, you are betraying virtue.”

I press on. I think fundamentally his problem is he’s got a purity fantasy: “I’m here to shame”. He doesn’t get that casual sex is fun and consensual, that it can occur between emotionally balanced people who do it because they like it, rather than from personal dysfunction. That’s not allowed because then the virtue sleight of hand loses it’s power. If you want to tell people to be virtuous, great. Do so. But don’t tell them being virtuous raised your SMV. It doesn’t.

The talk is not all bad, mind. He’s right about where creepy and awkward are located. He’s half-right about creepy is an obstacle right at the beginning of your journey – yes, but only once you start hitting on girls or trying to be taken seriously. You can actually do the groundwork of gym / fashion and general social skills withouth encountering creepy. That only comes once you want to take some value back.

It’s a conceit 29 minutes in that the people having lots of casual sex want to enter the dating zone but are frozen out by lack of beta traits. No, only the women might be frozen out. Men who are having sex can enter the relationship zone any time they damn well please. But he can’t say that because that’s admitting the central truth the chodes don’t want to hear: the guys having sex have higher SMV in every way. All the stuff chodes have (money, listening skills etc) isn’t relevant. The chodes don’t have a single advantage. In the SMP they are simply lower value in every way.

“The work they [casual sex guys] have to do is the same as the other side [the chodes]”. Really? C’mon let that sink in and ask if it sounds convincing or if it’s just part of selling system to chumps.

You can’t derive ought from is, but he’s using ought to hamstring his model of is. He’s smart to say nature locates narcissism in teenage because it’s effective to breed and that’s when you need it. So what’s the obvious lesson? He wants you to fight it. Not harness it, but fight it. I disagree.

This talk is clearly to Team Beta on advising them how to be better betas.

33 minutes in he’s wrong. Hot girls with limited beta traits can get relationships, they just have to revise expectations towards thirstier guys or seek out chumps. And really, “don’t be a cunt” isn’t such a high bar for their beta traits. There are also different niches of relationship, from intimate soul mates to kept woman that a hot-but-annoying girl can use.

Socrates needs to paint alphas with low-beta as damaged. Really he’s talking about behaviour disorders rather than a lack of skill. He uses War Machine as an example – a total knacker (not a “world class MMA fighter”) who is “banging porn stars left and right” – so a bottom feeder. That’s not a guy with high-alpha. War Machine is just a roid monkey with issues. Ironically, he’s right that War Machine had no ground game – but it’s true literally, not in his sense. It’s an enduring manosphere myth that jail is full of alphas. No, it’s full of imbeciles.

By forty minutes I had to turn off. My impression is it’s a half-decent exposition of manosphere truisms twisted to make the Chump Convention crowd feel good with a purple pill. Did I miss something in the rest of the talk? Really, maybe the second half resolves all my issues. I’d like to know, but can’t be bothered to watch it.

Meltdowns are a feature not a bug

October 6, 2015

Nervous breakdowns are pretty unpleasant things to be in, but like most things in life they carry lots of benefits. I remember once when Colin was giving a talk to all the freaks of the London Seduction Society he said “This is a hard road and it’ll take at least two years to get good. The only people I know who got good quicker went through unbelievable mental pain.”

He’s right. There’s a fairly predictable path of pain in game because ultimately we are talking about a complete overhaul of your behaviours, beliefs and identity.

Cautious hope -> Optimism -> Hubris -> Vague Unease -> Crash -> Recovery

As ever I’m talking mostly about my own experience but I’ve seen this pattern among all the top guys on their way up. And seeing as few of them ever settle at a given plateau (we’re all strivers) then really this is a recurring cycle. When you take your first step in game you are unwittingly commiting yourself to a complete overhaul. You will eventually become the cool charismatic guy. Unfortunately there’s a major obstacle standing in your way:

Your ego.

Your ego is a fixing agent, as I’ve written about before. It’s the force that prevents you being tossed around like a leaf in a gale. It’s what gets your hackles up when someone’s trying to clown you and take what’s yours. Your ego is the force that says “I’m just fine like I am, thank you very much, and I’m not changing.”

Me, May 2015

A bug(s). Me, May 2015

Therein lies the rub for the aspiring player who wants to transform himself from Me v1.0 into Me v2.0. The ego will resist him every step of the way. Much of the “taking action” side of the player’s journey is about harnessing your forebrain’s reserves of mental discipline in order to achieve your forebrain’s goal of getting better with women. All of the negative emotions you feel (principally the approach anxiety and the avoidance weasels) are your hindbrain’s attempt to harness your reserves of emotion in order to thwart your forebrain and to instead achieve the hindbrain’s goal of staying exactly where you are.

So every aspiring player is being double-teamed by his ego and hindbrain. That’s where all the cognitive dissonance and badfeelz comes from. It’s tough. It’s also why most successful players have developed masterful emotional control and forebrain discipline.

Normal men might scoff when you say daygame is difficult. “Dude, all you’re doing is talking to women. It’s not like being in a WWI trench.” They don’t get that the conflict is fully internal and your brain is essentially in a state of perpetual Syria-like civil war. It’s about way more than knobbing some sloppy tarts – you are fighting for your destiny of what kind of person you wish to be. This is why every aspiring player has – and needs – periodic meltdowns. They occur when both sides of your brain have exhausted themselves fighting the daily war of attrition. There’s the last final battle and then like a cataclysmic shock both sides collapse. Both sides wave the white flag and you crash.

It’s awful when it happens. Sometimes it’s the death of hope. Other times it triggers hours of existential angst as you go through a long dark night of the soul. You have to remind yourself that your current emotion is not “you”, it’s just a phase. Your life is still exactly the same as it was two days ago, two weeks ago, two months ago.

Remind yourself this is a necessary creative destruction because your meltdown results in a rare opportunity: Your ego has died. It’ll respawn soon but for a precious few days the hindbrain is compliant. All those beliefs and reference experiences that you’ve tried to embed into your hindbrain so that you can feel (not merely intellectually recognise) the player mindset – the hindbrain absorbs them.

A meltdown, yesterday

A meltdown, yesterday

Every time I’ve had a meltdown, I’ve emerged stronger and closer to the man I wish to be. The calibre of my game always stepped up a level and I felt like my inner game house had been upgraded from hay to wood, then wood to brick and so on. Ultimately, your subconscious is looking out for your best interests. It lets you feel the optimism and hubris so you can go out and accumulate reference experiences, then it lets your hindbrain fight a weasel-based counterattack so you feel unease, and then it throws you both off a cliff and triggers the meltdown.

If you’re a normal guy who wants a normal life, nervous breakdowns are to be avoided. However, if you’re a normal guy who wants to become a player, you have to embrace them when they come. They are not a sign of failure – though they’ll definitely feel that way when they happen. Just remember you are not your emotions and this is the necessary bankruptcy in order to free up the capital to be redeployed into a more efficient enterprise. Your ability to embrace, ride out and then recover from meltdowns is a strong meta-level predictor of how good you’ll get at game.

Cold approach is inefficient

October 5, 2015

Brad is sitting on a plush leather sofa in his flashy bachelor pad in the hippest part of town. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of 20-year Scottish whiskey that cost £100 for the bottle. It’s worth it. Damn fine whiskey. He swills the brown liquid around the glass, revelling in the crackle and pop coming from the ice cubes.

Ah, this is the life!

He’s tired because he just finished another tough ten hour day at the law firm. He’s put in a solid four years at Saul White & Pinkman Associates. That’s on top of the three years at his training firm. Brad just hit 32 so he’s in the prime of his life. He’ll still make it to the gym tomorrow morning. He’ll still measure out all his supplements and weigh his food. A shot of whiskey won’t put a dent in his rock hard body. He’s been training five years now and looks great. Not quite a six pack but he’s pretty buff. Brad prides himself on his mental discipline and ability to carry through on a personal commitment to his lifeplan.

As he’s reading through the internet, he’s nodding his head. Satisfied. He’s reading City Alpha Lifestyle blog and there’s an article: 5 Reasons You Ain’t Alpha. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s buff. He’s got money. He’s dominant in his social circle. He’s wearing good clothes.

Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him: He hasn’t fucked many hot women.

Well, how could he? He’s been working sixty hour weeks most of the last ten years. When the weekend finally rolls round he’s just going to cool bars with his buddies. The career chicks who go there aren’t much to look at (or talk to). Most of his spare time is in the gym, or reading motivational material. There’s not really any time or opportunity to meet girls. The only hot girls he sees are walking down the street or sitting having coffee – and how’s he supposed to talk to them? I mean, what do you say?

It’s not so bad though. He hasn’t been truly single for more than a few months in all these years. He always seems to find his way into a relationship – at a party, at dance class, at a business trip – and the girls are quite pretty. He’s even had a few adventurous one-night stands. Indeed he’s fucked maybe twenty girls, more than double most of his friends. It’s just a shame they nearly all insist on fancy restaurants, making him wait, and then those interminable weekends in the parks, beaches and Ikea.

“No worries”, Brad thinks smugly. “I’m entering the prime of my life – Rollo told me so – so at some undefined point in the future the hotties will flock to me.”


Adam is also sitting on a sofa tonight but it’s worn and squeaky. His small loft conversion is in a grungier part of town but that’s where the best nightlife is, so it’s exactly where he wants to be. His eyelids droop as he pours himself a slug of Jack Daniels that cost £25 for the bottle. It’s nice. He sets the glass down and lights a joint, rolling the smoke around his mouth before inhaling it to his lungs.

Ah, this is the life!

He’s tired because he just woke up. He works nights mostly and sometimes early mornings, depending on the shifts at the bar-tending job and the warehouse job he juggles to meet rent. He’s 32 and has lived in the area most of the last ten years. So he knows everyone and has a bit of a rep as one of the cooler local guys. It’s a late shift tomorrow so he’ll be working on his music all afternoon. He started learning guitar as a teenager and after fifteen years cycling in and out of various punk, indie and now rock bands he’s pretty good at it. His tattoos are still pretty cool and it doesn’t matter much that his body is turning to skinny-fat at a young age.

He’s also reading through the internet, nodding his head in satisfaction. He’s reading Dangerous Horizons blog and there’s an article he likes: 5 Reasons You’re Not Cool. He chuckles as he realises the first four reasons don’t apply to him. He’s badass. He’s got a big social circle. He doesn’t answer to anyone (except his bosses, but those jobs aren’t so important to him). He is the life of the party. Unfortunately it’s that last reason that does apply and it bothers him. He stares at it again and again, trying to figure out why:

You don’t get to date and fuck the girls you like.

Hmmmmmm. What’s wrong with that statement? Adam does a mental check. “I’ve fucked 160 girls” he counts, but then he adds “but most of them were pretty grotty.” Then his eyes light up. “That said, Talisa was hot. And Sophie. And Angela” and there’s a faint murmur in his heart as he recalls some nights of fantastic sex. The lights fade when he thinks “but they just chose me and I took what I was given. I wish that would happen more.”

“And Talisa was a fucked-up BPD loon” he remembers, and shudders.

He’s done well though, he reminds himself. Much much better than most people. Okay, so he’s completely sacrificed any chance of making money and living comfortably in his middle age. Okay, so he’s never going to be truly famous and be an alpha like Leonardo DiCaprio or Keith Richards – guys who truly do date and fuck whoever they like. And his tattooed bartender schtick will be decreasingly cool as he ages and all those nights maintaining the hip social circle will start to wear on him. But he’s had lots of fun and there’s still lots more fun to be had.


Brad and Adam are pretty happy with their lives. Years ago they plotted an “in” to women and then dedicated themselves tirelessly to it. Adding it all up, one way or another it’s been nigh on seventy hours a week each, for fifteen years. But that’s fine, because the “lifestyle” is paying off.

Simultaneously, ten miles apart, they both set down their whiskey glasses and stumble across the same article on a little-known site called They have the same instinctive reaction deep in their gut best described as “have I missed a trick?”. That gnawing fear recedes as they realise their own lives are still pretty damn good. Nonetheless they can’t help shake the feeling that if only they knew how to cold approach they’d quickly resolve that one nagging issue from the list of five.

Fortunately that entire emotional cycle takes about ten seconds and never really penetrates their consciousness. Simultaneously, ten miles apart, comes a booming clang and the heavy doors of two grandiose egos slam down the shutters together. And then a new reaction springs forth.

“Fuck me, have you seen this clown???? Hardly any money, normal body, no “lifestyle” at all. And he’s running up and down the street chasing girls like some creepy PUA. What a fucking idiot! Hahaha can’t he see what low value behaviour that is: dedicating ten hours a week, for five years, to enjoying nice conversations, dates and sex with beautiful women.

Ooooooooooo-kay, so he reckons in 2015 the average age of girl is 21 (19 years younger than him) and the average meet-to-lay is two hours. And yes, they are mostly good girls and all pretty. And yes, he gets to travel all around the world and sleep as much as he likes. And yes, he’s always choosing the girls he likes.

But, but but…… it’s so inefficient!

What a loser! Dedicating all that time and effort trying to get laid.”

Brad and Adam decide they will type in a comment to tell him precisely how much of a loser he is. And then they’ll retire to bed and ponder how awesome their lifestyle is.

Black Book – Intermediate Daygame Instructional Video

September 30, 2015

Many people have said my products are too detailed, too advanced, too complicated, too…… deep.

Fair enough. When I read, I like extremely dense books and when I play video games I like those with many hidden layers of gameplay depth. I’m a systems-builder by heart so every time I learn something new I want to pull the watch apart, examine every mechanical piece, and then learn how to reassemble it into perfect working order. That’s my mindset in life. I’m a perfectionist and a craftsman. I take real joy in the minutae.

Of course not everyone is like that. Some guys want to get to the point really fast. “Just give me the TL:DR, Nick”

Black Book poster

Buy the Black Book here for $99

This was recently brought to light when I gave Bodi an advance copy of the Black Book, my new video product. He knows daygame inside out and we share many personality traits so I thought he’d give me a good second opinion. “It’s very different to Mastery and Overkill” he said, a couple of days later. “When I watched Overkill I was pausing it every twenty seconds to jot down a new note. It’s so dense. Black Book if far easier to absorb. It’s more concise.”

And that’s the whole point of the video. I’ve already put out products which are reference encyclopedias of daygame (Daygame Mastery) and incredibly detailed deconstructions of my best sets (Daygame Overkill). That’s the “high end” of daygame theory staked out with the Team Krauser flag. The problem is it’s really difficult to absorb and you only get the full value of the material if you’re already banging plenty of girls from street game.

But what if you’re still pretty new? What if you’ve gotten the basics down pat and are pulling phone numbers and some dates but you want to get better? That’s where Black Book comes in.

Black Book is a long detailed seminar designed to bump guys up from beginner to intermediate daygame. How do I achieve this?

The big knock against beginner daygame is that it’s robotic, repetitive and often unconvincing. You run around stopping girls and dropping a series of lines onto them, in a structure designed to pull phone numbers out of girls who take a liking to you over those five minutes. It works and you can get laid off it. I did. The problem is that these are just training wheels. Eventually you become comfortable with the basics of managing approach anxiety, running up to girls, getting the body language about right, and having reasonably interesting words tumble out of your mouth.

Great, you’ve gotten started! For the first few hundred sets that’s all you need. Take your baby steps and learn to walk. We made it simple because beginners are so anxious that they can’t hold more than a few tips in mind at once and we need to just shuttle them end-to-end through a few hundred street stops. But now it’s time to start getting laid.

Black Book takes you back through the London Daygame Model but this time it’s at the intermediate level. What does that mean?

  • Creative teasing openers that you invent spontaneously;
  • Projecting sexual intent from the beginning;
  • Unlocking your capacity for interesting flirty conversation;
  • Physical testing on the street.

That’s the first half of the seminar. Now that you’re getting better at game you’ll be getting girls on dates so the second half takes you through the first date game, designed to get the girl home that night. What am I giving you in this section?

  • Dating mindsets to encourage you to push towards sex;
  • A dating structure with advice on what to do in each venue;
  • Verbal and physical escalation ladders so you always know the next step;
  • Calibration advice to know when she’s ready to take home;
  • Subtle body language tips to project sexuality and masculine power.

Black Book is designed to take the handcuffs off you. No longer will you be shackled to the latest opener you read on the internet, or a little routine your wing told you. Black Book focuses on simple principles and hands you the tools to build your own game from them. This is the simplest and most concise way to understand the principles that will give you deep identity-level change in your daygame. It’s time to get creative. It’s time to get sexual. It’s time to have fun!

Buy the Black Book here for $99

See below for what you’ll gain access to. This is a screenshot of the portal after you’ve logged in to your Black Book account.

Black Book content

Buy the Black Book here for $99

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