How to write a memoir #4

January 9, 2018

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Believe it or not, several of my readers did in fact take me up on my Winter Memoir Challenge and have been working hard to contribute their own stories to the burgeoning literature within our niche community of odd fellows. One such scribe has noticed a rather powerful consequence of writing….

A profound sense of introspection over his journey.

This is not altogether unexpected, as I had the same thing. As did Bodi. And no doubt everyone else who has committed themselves to writing a memoir. The process seems to work like peeling an onion layer by layer.

peeling an onion

A self-peeling onion, yesterday

Layer One – The personal debrief
As you lie in bed, a feeling of smug self-satisfaction on your face, the girl you just banged trots off to the shower. Your mind turns towards replaying events in order to determine how you pulled it off. What were the key moments? How did you handle the key risks? This debrief is mostly tactical, with a large helping of self-congratulation.

Layer Two – Telling your mates
The +1 text was fired off immediately. Now it’s the next afternoon and you’ve met your friends / wings. There’s a story to tell. So you walk them through it with a focus on drama and tension. Perhaps they ask questions to clarify key points. You’ll probably end up telling the story several times and at each telling the fat is trimmed and the spice is added. It’s transformed from a debrief to an anecdote.

Layer Three – Bragging Blogging about it
Now you wish to tell the world, or at least that small community of avid blog readers strung out across the globe. You’ll probably retell the tale with a journalistic focus and getting the precise sequence of events correct and interpreting them according to prevailing daygame theory [1]. Those of you increasing in confidence may adopt a tone of teaching the dear reader so he may yet benefit from what you’ve learned from the process. The incident has now moved from debrief, to anecdote, to lay report.

Layer Four – Writing it up in the Memoir
You have assembled a number of such events into a narrative and interspersed it with the other things you were doing on your journey. It has been contextualised within the wider narrative of your Player’s Journey. Now you are drawing parallels to other similar incidents, or grouping them together according to phases in your journey, and seeking to re-evaluate an event – that may have happened over a year ago – with the benefit of hindsight. Quite likely you’ve reached a different conclusion over the key moments and key risks that you’d initially identified. The debrief became an anecdote, became a lay report, became a considered reflection.

It is at this final stage that we writers zoom the camera out from the trees and take in the forest as a whole. The passage of time and the repetition of sets has granted us perspective. We see our earlier selves in a different light. Speaking from my own personal experience, I find that soon after banging a girl I tend to overestimate my own agency in bringing the events to pass, and then writing in the memoir I underestimate my same agency. Probably it’s because the novelty and sense of achievement has been dulled by the passage of time.

“Reading back and expanding upon what I wrote at the time, just after the lays, I’m finding sentences which are expanding to long moments of introspection. With hindsight I’m able to see why particular things meant so much to me personally” says a scribe.


The writing of the book to publish is a blind. A distraction. A false flag.

The real value of the book to you the writer is as a homework project in deep introspection. Consider the blog posts the term papers and the memoir your final thesis. The memoir process requires you to order your journey chronologically, re-tell it, and make sense out of it for the reader. The primary reader is you, the writer.

You are making sense of your journey.

The writing process is one of looking into the core of events and interpreting. You are understanding and fleshing out the key character – you – and finding out how that character is motivated and how he reacts to events. It is self-directed inner game therapy [2] and thus this introspective phase of the writing process should be wholly embraced. There will be many ‘eureka’ moments during your writing as you approach an old event from a slightly different angle. You’ll see flaws you didn’t realise you had, but also good qualities you didn’t realise you possessed. You’ll be impressed by your tenacity in some moments and embarrassed by your weakness in others.

Writing your memoir is a great tool to guide you through deep inner game change because it forces you to stick to the facts, the whole of the facts, and then make sense of them. By having the intended final “reader” in your mind as the person you need to explain yourself to, you are subjected to mental discipline in a way you could otherwise evade if you allow uncomfortable thoughts to simply dissipate in your consciousness.

Fucking Awesome Mate

Bang on time, mate

Lastly, you’ll probably be surprised at how much progress you’ve made. Re-telling those old stories from the beginning of your journey, you’ll be mentally positioning yourself back into your old frame of reference and likely be shocked. Did I really think like that? What a chode I was!

The primary beneficiary of your memoir is not us, the daygame community [3], but it is you the writer, who will emerge with a greater self understanding.

If you are excited at the prospect of reading memoirs, you should probably start with the best: Balls Deep, A Deplorable Cad, and Adventure Sex. And then you should mortgage your house and buy Daygame Infinite. And probably Daygame Overkill too. In fact, fuck it, you’re serious about this so sign up for personal coaching too. [4]

[1] By which I mean Daygame Mastery
[2] Assuming you are writing the book sincerely, rather than as a grandiose ego-trip.
[3] Though we do benefit greatly from the resource you place before us.
[4] Or just deposit money directly into my bank account, I’d quite like that.


  1. This scribe guy… he sounds like a smart cat

  2. This series reminds me of the glorious posts from the past. Have you ever thought of printing them down in a book? [It’s a long hard slog from a quick blog post to a polished book I’d charge money for. No plans. K.]

  3. Uhm.. Krauser’s gonna coach?
    For real? [Just a few guys. K.]

  4. instead of buying your stuff, just send to me that chick with that sign on her… I will shot something directly to that name…

    kidding, good stuff, and liked balls deep, and looking forward to infinite.

    (actually wasn’t kidding, if you send that chick, I ll do that)

    question: I never talked with girls about the pua stuff… how she reacted, when you asked her to wrote hotter, tighter into herself? [Sorry to disappoint but this bird is just a model. K.]

    • How do you hire one of these models Krauser? What do you have to do? [Internet is full of them. Just look. K.]

      • krauser is hired the girl on fiverr for 5 bucks…

        I always know that krauser is a special member at Wayne family… I guess Deepak making your breakfast when Justin fucking whores… thats the new chateau hampsted

  5. Loved the title pic…brought back sweet memories.

  6. 28,500 words Krauser.

    How much of a chode I was. Yep seen that.

    The final stories of the book which I know will end the book. I still haven’t made my mind up about what I think about them. [Good going. If you want to me to have a look at it, send it on. K.]

  7. Pingback: 2018 plan or The (50,000+1,000+100)/50 Challenge –

  8. Pingback: Road to Mastery – M Daygame

  9. I just joked in the previous post K… But honestly Im start to feel bad about you with the paid girl….

    check out the younger generation of players… they’re posting very often lays, fucks, pic about hot girls…

    I guess Chris Wilde getting that crazy shit, when he goes to nightgame he pulls four and five somes, and I guess he pulls close to one girl at one night ratio, and sometimes 2 girl lay/ night…

    also check out some new daygamers instagram, for example bradicus, what I saw, but not following his material, dojt know him… But this paid actress shit is defonitely the downside [You’re a moron. So much so, you don’t realise how much you reveal about yourself in your comments. K.]

    • Legit sub 80 IQ. It’s obvious from 5 words who this is.


      He put up some videos about being depressed. You took your foot off his neck too early – could possibly have trolled him to suicide.

    • yeah, Im a moron but thats not an answer for why youre paying for girls to get this shit together… looks like you cant get it from your own strenghts

      I hope you can and youre as legit as I hope so, because bought your book… [Concern troll is concerned. If any reader wishes to set him straight, feel free. Otherwise, he’s on “ignore”. K.]

      • Puting aside you’re trolling…

        I had two girlfriends who happen to have been models at the time. One had to do with Vogue things. The other, Intimissimi and such lingerie brands. Let’s talk about the latter.

        At one point of our relationship I tried to launch a t-shirt brand and I knew I wanted her wearing the first design and let her body make the sales skyrocket.

        She didn’t agree, I got angered because of her selfishness and I ended up yelling about how she only wanted me for amusing purposes. Solid frame it wasn’t.

        She went silent and then she gave me a speech so serious looking me in the eye

        “You’re such an asshole…I could be with many fashion business related or entertainment related men or non gay male models and I’m not even when they could boost my career, I would make tens of thousands instead of thousands a year. I would go pro instead of semi pro. I would quit college and leave it for when I’m older or even forever. Many girls would do it and many girls did.

        I’m with you, a broke ass early thirties kind of reformed ex street thug who my family despises because you are everything those men aren’t. My job is my job, and you are you. Different things I’d rather not mix. Hire someone else…I’ll give you some numbers or even the money if you need it.”

        That’s what she said. And she was right and I hated how she lectured me and how she outfoxed me so often. But I didn’t say shit.

        I never launched the t-tshirt brand

      • Guerilla Jr.

        that’s a new perspective, what I did not think about it…
        It could be totally understandable, if somebody wants to separate his own life and businesses…

        It would been better, if K saying something like this, instead of “troll moron”,

        But I feel like in this paid actress thing is not the same. That’s why guys posting one night stands… There aren’t deep connections, no deep relationship like in your case. those are just lays, so it’s hard to compare to a serious relationship.
        I think if somebody getting a lot of sex with always different women, the sex and the girl is going to be more and more insignificant.

  10. Off topic, but let’s lighten the mood with what might be the ultimate Johnny Berba comedy classic gold. Walking down Regents Street with a student when he sees a tourist rejecting an obvious chode PUA, although doesn’t seem to realize and is just pleased that ‘she is not with him’. So gets his student to run after her and do the YAD stop to which the slightly irritated girl immediately deflects by asking him to help her with directions.

    • LOL… but who let‘s himself be pushed into sets uselessly without a single correction of the many obvious flaws his approached show, be taped and then published unblurred, with real name??
      Insane. [The Berba frame is that simply approaching a girl is a major victory and thus it doesn’t really matter what happens after that. I find it odd and harmful. ‘Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.’ K.]

  11. You’ve have completed and mastered daygame, fair play to ya, there’s nothing else left for you to prove. If was to go back to 2009 and start all over again knowing what you know now what one thing would you do differently?

  12. Hey Nick I’ve just started the brand new year with a daygame lay albeit with a 6 (I’m a 6 look-wise). I was wondering as my journey ascends and hopefully start naturally clacking the better quality girls, is the experience more pleasurable or will I still want to get rid of her as soon as I’m “done”? [Better girls = get tiresome less quickly. The other half of it is inner game and priorities. K.]

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