Your life is a project…. accumulation

December 26, 2012

I have written how I consider men’s lives to follow three fundamental phases: foundations, accumulation and maintainance. Don’t overthink this it’s just a convenient mental map to be deployed where useful. So let’s consider the second stage which typically begins upon graduating university or beginning an apprenticeship.

Goal: Max out your manly talents of intelligence, creativity, wealth-generation, physical competence

The accumulation phase could equally be described as “setting yourself up for life” or “becoming the best man you can be”. It’ll typically take you the whole of your twenties. Whereas the foundational phase was building the well-rounded basic skills of life taking advantage of the general education granted to children while side-stepping the weakness inherent in kids of not knowing who they are or what direction they wish to go in, the accumulation phase is about specialisation. Society channels you down predetermined tunnels as a kid fixing everyone on more or less the same generic path. Where foundation is Call of Duty (“follow the NPC”) accumulation is Deus Ex (“augument and choose”). I’ll let you in on a little secret right now:

There’s no money and no status to be had from being a generalist. All the upside is in specialisation.

Specialisation, in the future

Specialisation, in the future

1. Choices

What does that mean to you, dear reader? First off you have to carefully marshall your intellectual, physical and emotional resources. Make careful decisions on what skills you seek to acquire.

  • The payoff for any given skill is wildly disproportionate to its difficulty
  • If something is enjoyable, its probably not lucrative. Expect to make tradeoffs
  • Scaleable skillsets are a huge gamble

Consider language learning. It’s a difficult task involving hundred of classroom hours and, to be fluent, living in a country where its spoken as a native. I had university friends doing language degrees and almost exclusively the only ones who got good jobs did a joint honours with another skill. Spanish on its own will help you navigate South America but it won’t add a penny to your salary unless it’s combined with a real money-making skill such as accounting, engineering or law. Speaking of language, they are not all created equal. Japanese takes approximately three times longer to learn than Spanish or French and it’s only useful for one country. Serbian is bloody difficult and only useful in one small country where per capita income is only $11,000 and they all speak English anyway. Why on earth would anyone learn Serbian unless they are fully commited to living there for years on end? It’s just a dumb waste of effort.

Consider the UFC. That’s the biggest-paying promotion for the sport of MMA. There’s only one PPV every six weeks or so which only has six TV fights per show across all weight divisions. So that’s twelve fighters getting TV-level paydays per show making an annual total of TV-paydays about 104 slots. Assuming you are fighting at that level and get offered a slot, it’ll be a minimum of six week’s training with its attendant costs. Probably 20% goes to your manager and gym. Assuming no medical costs or long injury-related layoffs, fight four times a year, and assuming you win every fight (so statistically 75% of fighters won’t manage even this) you are spending 24 weeks in training and getting by on four paydays. Now go look at how much these guys get paid.

Shocking. Truly shocking. And this is at the most lucrative end of the sport. The top guys do fine (well, not compared to £80k per week footballers but fine compared to normal guys) but look past the top 5 names. Most MMA guys are taking <£10,000 a fight. Drop down to the next level of show and its <£1,000. For six week’s work. I make that in two days sitting at my desk. When I have a bad day at the office I don’t get beat up too.

The lesson isn’t that I’m awesome and fighters suck. The lesson is some careers are far better than others despite being considerably easier and considerably less risk. The 437th-best lawyer in London earns considerably more than the 10th-best London MMA fighter and that income is far more stable. My advice is treat the exciting careers as a hobby.

Nicolas Taleb writes well on the risk/reward payoffs of scaleable careers. The general self-improvement advice is choose a business / career where you can scale upwards. Acting, music, software are classically scaleable careers. If you can be Seinfeld (syndicated worldwide), or have Gangnam Style (200+ million youtube views), or write the next Angry Birds then you can rest on your royalties. The problem is survivor bias and winner-takes-all. The very nature of a pyramid business structure is that only one pharoah is buried in it. Freakonmics has a great essay on how the scaleability of the drug dealer business model means almost everyone earns less than minimum wage and sustains themselves on the dream of being the one Mister Big. Don’t gamble your life’s trajectory on being that one guy. If you truly believe you’ll overcome unsurmountable odds buy a lottery ticket. And stay away from battlefields.

Yes, that's me

Yes, that’s me

In summary, choose your career wisely. Don’t be afraid to switch careers before you become too committed. Your risk appetite likely differs to mine but here’s my dream list of career conditions:

  • Based on a real skillset that is difficult to learn (e.g. accounting, medicine, architecture)
  • Most of the population is literally unable to compete (e.g. requires too much abstract thinking, training period is too stressful, entry costs are too high, apprenticeship is difficult to obtain)
  • Nature of the job cannot be adequately offshored or automated because it relies on high-trust thinking, verbal knowledge, quality decision making, and personal contact (e.g. law, computer programming)
  • Stable income stream with a large pool of commoditised jobs (e.g. accounting, contract law, computer programming, consulting)
  • EDIT: I haven’t read this book but it looks like a great resource for choosing a career: “Worthless”

2. Excellence

Once you’ve started on your career your main goal is to become really good at it. Shine your star as bright as you can. Take real passion in excellence for its own sake. Ignore all those office-politics TV shows and books that would convince you advancement is all about who you know. No. Right up until you hit senior management advancement is what you know. Consider pick-up: what is the more successful strategy (i) learn the secret code to bullshit women into your bed or (ii) become the kind of high value man that pretty women want to sleep with? Precisely. When you know full well that every single day you go into the office you are producing high quality work, when every single product you deliver to a customer is best-in-class…. the money will keep rolling in. I’ve read all of Robert Green’s books. He’s right in his 48 Laws of Power and his 33 Strategies of War but these are only effective at the margins. Consider them defensive positioning so that the passive-aggressive office freaks can’t hurt you. Do not willingly engage in such petty power games or you’ll take on the character of your opponents. Never wrestle a pig. You both end up covered in shit but the pig likes it.

An internet forum HB8

An internet forum HB8

At the beginning of your career things are rather nebulous. Your academic record matters but both you and your prospective employer know your basically a know-nothing kid who needs to be trained up on the job. So heading into an interview your vibe, character and potential matter alot. Five years down the line it’s all about genuine markers of geniune skill. Do you have the industry-standard qualification? Do you write the industry-leading program code? How many sales did you bring to your last company? Whatever the metric is, you are on stronger ground having acheived the matric through being excellent at your job than bullshitting your way through with gambits you learned in a self-help book. The business world is not as dumb as you may think.

3. Intelligence

Your twenties are your peak brain-forming years. You can google yourself all the studies showing how artists are most productive in their twenties, how creative thinking is maxed out in those years. By spending your twenties feeding your mind you will become more intelligent. I’m lucky – I spent the whole of my twenties straining and challenging my mind quite naturally by taking a difficult study-intensive job, reading hundreds of books, writing for several publications, learning a foreign language, cerebrally learning martial arts (in addition to the raw physical side), playing intellectually engaging video games etc. I was not simply sitting on my sofa with a bag of Wotsits watching X-Factor. You must find challenge in your twenties. Work is a great place for it but also consider your leisure time. Learn expert systems. Take joy in it, whether it be chess, crossword puzzles or Starcraft. You must read alot, with a good portion of those books being stimulating rather than mere entertainment. Set yourself little projects within your hobbies. Here’s a sample of what I did in my twenties:

  • Learn how global financial and economic flows work. I found five top quality technical blogs to read daily and deepened my knowledge of sectors through reading about 45 books. It took eighteen months.
  • A deep dive into Japanese culture. I studied the language at a school, watched lots of anime with English subtitles, and read English-language translations of major Japanese fiction.
  • Micro-analyse fighting arts. I watched a few hundred MMA and kickboxing shows live, analysing the fights as I watched rather than limit myself to letting in wash over me. I read theory pieces on technique, followed the major magazines, learned what I could from fighter records (and to predict future fights), tried to pick out moves in fights to practice in the gym etc.

Those are my hobbies, don’t feel obliged to mimick them. Notice a common trend is my frame was to identify intriguing questions and then set out to answer them. Even the dryest blogpost on sub-prime ALT-A mortgage servicing fees becomes fascinating when it’s the answer to a question you’ve been asking yourself. That’s how your brain glows.

Accumulation is by its nature a forward-thinking phase with considerable deferred gratification. You’ll take alot of manly pride in building your castle but there’s no getting away from the fact that it’s alot of hard graft. You must be prepared to work hard. There is no shortcut because your brain and body require the hard work in order to reach their potential. Even if somehow inexplicably you were to stumble upon a suitcase full of millions you could not shortcut this process. Sure, you’d be financially set for life but all those other male attributes would wither on the vine.

Done correctly, you will end the accumulation phase towards your early thirties with the following dimensions to your character:

  • Clever as fuck
  • A highly marketable skill set so you need never fear unemployment
  • A huge reservoir of interesting knowledge about the world, it’s culture and history

Congratulations. You are now entering your SMV prime holding four aces.

Becoming closer to this

Becoming closer to this

*NB* – I didn’t touch on physical culture, fashion or other lifestyle areas. I’m assuming you know you should continue working out and learn to dress well. By necessity this post can only touch a few concepts so don’t think this is all there is. And of course don’t get married. I’d also add don’t buy a house or do anything else that ties you long-term to one place and high monthly payments. I’ll discuss that more in the final part…….. and btw, this is my 500th post.

How to be a sex god

December 24, 2012

Rather a grandiose title but it is something of an intriguing question – how does a 37 year old office worker (rather than say 22 year old star athlete) continually get told by SMV-prime young women that he’s the best sex they ever had? I hear it from about 50% of them. Now some of this will be that I clack low-N girls who thus have a limited frame of reference. I’ll freely admit there’ll be men out there who do it better than me. Nonetheless, I’ll share my thoughts on why I repeatedly have this effect on girls.

  • Rule #1 – Her perception of your value is more important than your technique
  • Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on
  • Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her
  • Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch

Let’s run through these in turn.

Rule #1 –  Her perception of your value is more important than your technique

A common misconception in the Blue Pill world is that you improve her estimation of your sexual ability by becoming better at bedroom gymnastics, whether this be through tantric weirdness, karma sutra positional knowledge, finding the g-spot, or a viagra-enhanced longevity. That’s all supplicating bullshit. Her estimation is overwhelmingly determined by how high value she thinks you are. Just think back to selected highlights of your own sex life. I’ll bet money that the top three memories are the top three hottest women no matter how they performed. Just as fat old hags are wasting their time learning better blowjob skills, qualifying spineless men are wasting their time reading techniques of sexual mastery. Improve your value, project it well, and hold the frame. In short, extend your Game to the bedroom.

The frame fell off

The frame fell off

Rule #2 – Domination is the biggest turn on

I haven’t talked much about 50 Shades of Grey on this blog due to my instinctual distaste to be letting my mind be led by popular trends. I’m the guy who doesn’t buy Black Ops 2 until six months after release. Nonetheless I have dipped into that book and can see why it’s a cause celebre. It’s served me as a jump off point with a few girls to turn conversations sexual and explore their limits. The key takeaway, of course, is dominance. Fix this before you move onto the lower-order technques. This means things like:

Never ask permission. You’ll need calibration to learn when to move forwards and when to play it safe but even when the latter never actually ask permission, just don’t take that step forward until her mood is right. If you must ask it’s not “Can I…?” or “Shall we…?” it is “I want to….” and leave the question hanging in the air unasked. Growl into her ear “I’m going to (something explicit)” then slowly begin doing it. Her opportunity to say no is in the time delay of escalation. If she really wants to say no, you’ll hear it then.

Only “Stop”, “No” and a deliberate physical disengagement count as non-consent. Girls will give you all kinds off soft refusals that are meant to be overridden. It’s just her forebrain-hindbrain conflict resolving itself outloud by giving herself plausible deniability. Often the refusal is part of her enjoyment in rubbing up against your manhood. So ignore “we shouldn’t do this” or “this is too fast” or “we should go back downstairs” etc. If her hands are still exploring and her crotch still grinding then proceed as planned. If that stuff stops you need to slow down and add a little comfort such as stroking her hair, kissing her forehead or looking into her eyes and giving a gentle smile. A firm no will come in a firm non-sexual tone of voice. A token no still rings with passion. You’ll know the difference. If in any doubt use the fire escape move – get up and go to the bathroom leaving her a clear line to the exit. If she hasn’t taken it within a minute or so, return as your were. A girl giving a firm no will quickly rearrange her clothes and remove herself from the area of sexual conquest. If she doesn’t do so take it as a green light.

Always lead. You are a tsunami of sexual power sweeping her little fishing boat of innocence along an irresistable wave. She needs this to feel the thrill of submission. Make her feel the inevitability of eventual surrender because this’ll excite her far more than an explicit mutual consent. This isn’t a freely-entered sexual union of equals. No sir, you are ravishing her against her better judgement.

A ravishing, yesterday

A ravishing, yesterday

Rule #3 – Please yourself above pleasing her

I never go down on a girl. I don’t think I’ve done it in five years and I’m not about to start now. Surely I’m selfish. Surely girls will hold that against me when dispensing their own sexual favours……. no. Far be it for me to advise you against going down if you happen to enjoy doing so. I just find it unappealing and unbecoming of a man. I associate going down with supplication.

Women will often mid-ravishment blurt out words to the effect of “use me for your pleasure!” That’s the hindbrain talking. Women know they exist to satisfy the man in their lives be it ironing his shirts or swallowing his cum. Her hardwired state-of-nature survival strategy is to attach to a man and then make sure to keep him happy so he allows her to remain attached rather than casting her out into a world she is ill-equipped to navigate alone. Keep this in mind in your bedroom. She is there to satisfy you. Thanks to the wonder of nature her satisfying you will give her satisfaction and you don’t lose the frame.

Men who dedicate themselve to giving women orgasms, oral sex and longevity are just beta-boy sexual providers. It’s a sport fuck to her. Little different from going to the spa to have some maids pamper her with a different kind of facial. She’ll enjoy it, you’ll get sex, and the chemical reaction may even keep her around but you’ll have no domination. She’ll be her own woman, not your woman.

Fuck the girl like she’s a rag doll. Do whatever turns you on. Finish whenever you’re ready. When she asks for something don’t give it right away. When girls give me a sexual request e.g. “I want you behind me” I’ll look into her eyes, smirk, and say “I know”. Maybe I’ll do it later, maybe I won’t. If she gets a little insistent grab her rougher and as you look into her eyes give her a really hard thrust. That’s a way of saying shut up that she appreciates.

Come wherever you want to. If she’s dodging having it on her face then go for the breasts, making sure an accidental spurt gets some of her face. If she’ll take it on the face try and get a little bit in her eye or up her nose. Unapologetically.

Some to wipe your cock on. If she has no curtains.

Something to wipe your cock on. If she has no curtains.

The one big caveat in all this is – let her know you are enjoying her. Breath heavy into her ear, give some low growls of satisfaction, smirk, give the occasional flattering compliment (“I love fucking you”). The woman needs to know you appreciate her offering herself up for a ravishing. She wants to fantasise herself being used, not to actually be used. So mix a little velvet in with the steel.

Rule #4 – Have full control of your touch

A strange observation in my life has been that Brazilian Ju Jitsu has offered me far greater profit in the bedroom than it ever has on the street. I spent a couple of years rolling around on the mats in my angry white pyjamas slapping on armbars and triangle chokes, learning a half-guard game and all sorts of other such stuff. Yet I haven’t had a streetfight in ten years. It’s an entirely different blogpost why this is (basically, hard targetting and good control of my monkey brain) but one of the ironies of MMA is you take a far greater accummulated punishment in self defense training than you ever would if you were just a fag hipster who accepted his periodic street beatings.

But when it comes to sex, nothing beats a solid MMA background.

Part of it comes into 1) because MMA raises your physical confidence. Partly it’s 2) because you’ve already learned dominance over other men and she can feel your strength. Most of all you are bringing physical competence into the bedroom. MMA gives you exceptional hand-eye coordination, balance, control of your weight distribution and the ability to efficiently move another person’s body around. Here’s a few of the techniques I employ:

Grip: Women love to be held firm, crushed in a man’s arms but they recoil from actual physical pain. Consider how to grab a woman’s wrist when you want to pin her hand to the mattress, do you use your fingers or palm? I grip her the same way I’d grip a man when applying a kimura or chicken wing. Study the diagrams. Often when on top I’ll hook my arm around her neck and pull her close but I’ll use the same grip as a rear-naked choke (but reversed).

imperfect technique

imperfect technique

Pins: BJJ teaches you to hold people down. Women love being pinned to the mattress unable to move, its why they like being tied up. So remember her four points (two shoulders, two hips) are more solid pins than her wrists and ankles. I often press my forearm onto the front of her shoulder and grab a handful of hair at the base of her skull (same hand). This pins her upper torso, immobilises the head and she fucking loves it. Sometimes I press down on one side of the hip as if to begin a guard pass. All of this can be done without any pain to her. She feels roughed up and steamrolled but no acute pain. This is the physical expression of steel and velvet.

Weight: MMA fighters hear common refrains such as how when on top you should seek to be as heavy as possible and close down space (bottom game is the reverse – don’t be flatbacked, get the weight off you, and create some distance). During sex you should be in full control of your weight at all times. Mix it up. When your tempo is hard and fast, crush her with your superior size. When you ease off, rise back and take off the pressure. Like riding a horse you have to listen to the feedback to know how hard you can push her. Ease up occassionaly so she doesn’t faint.

Control: Put her body where you want it. When you’re standing, walk her backwards into a wall and push her against it. When you want to put her on the bed, pick her up and throw her there. When she’s lying on her back naked and you’re about to stick it in DO NOT go to her. Hook a hand under each thigh and pull her to you in one alarming motion. When you’ve finished slamming her missionary style, shrug her leg over a shoulder and turn her over. She should feel her body completely under your control at all times. This turns her on. If she rises up put your hand on her sternum and push her back down. Put your palm over her ear/temple area and push her face into the mattress (side-on, so as not to interfere with her breathing) and keep it there.

Yes, it's a girl on the right

Yes, it’s a girl on the right

Lastly, I’ll finish with a few little power moves I like to do:

1. This can be done pre-sex or while standing up during sex. Grab her neck like a one-handed rapist choke (remember the grip! powerful but not painful, don’t actually squeeze) and straight-arm her back into a wall. Look powerfully into her eyes and, still pinning her to the wall, reach down with your other hand to pick up your whiskey glass and take a measured drink. Put the glass down, turn back towards her, and violently kiss.

2. In a standing hug / smooch do a few tender touches like running your fingertips through her hair at your temple, kissing the forehead. Then abruptly hoist her up in a fireman’s carry and do a slow helicopter spin. Deposit her on a nearby sofa or bed.

3. During a rough-hard tempo of the sex when she’s gasping and moaning take a handful of hair at the base of her skull and yank it so her face is looking up at yours. Do some variation of the following – pausing for her responses:

Look at me (hold dominant eye contact) Look at me. (slowly pull your cock almost completely out and leave it out for a few seconds, continuing to look at her. She’ll usually give an imploring look. In your own time, slam her really hard with one long thrust that moves her whole body halfway up the bed. Treat it like a punishment. Rinse and repeat a few times).

Look at me. You like my cock in you, don’t you. You like it hard and deep. You like it sliding in and out. Moving your body with my power. You like feeling my strength don’t you etc

Look at me, woman. Whose woman are you? You’re my woman, aren’t you. Say it. Say you’re my woman. (replace “woman” with “dirty bitch” if appropriate). Yes, you’re my woman. Your job is to please me. And when you please me, I reward you with my cock.

Once sex is finished always give her comfort. Lie on your back like a king and pull her into you until she’s nuzzling against your chest. Stay like that for ten minutes, absent-mindedly stroking her hair and softly running your fingers along her arms. This is where you get the double-whammy of oxytocin-bonding and a balance of soft dominance to offset the hard dominance of the rough sex.

That ought to give you dear readers a flavour of it.

I bang my first 23 yr old Serbian singer

December 20, 2012

This one was tough but oh so satisfying. Those of you working towards increased success with women will be familiar with the anti-game hater, that squalid little gamma who resents every sliver of success as it reminds him what a hopeless loser he is and worse that he won’t take charge of his own love life. A common hater refrain / reframe is “any westerner can fuck East European supermodels just by flashing his passport. Prove your skills by fucking fat vile Anglophone tarts.” Apparently porking an unpleasant slut with a cock-count >30 is more difficult than a chaste EE girl with an N of <5.

Men who are commited to improving their game will also be familiar with quality plateaus. In the beginning you may struggle to have sex with pretty girls. Once that nut is cracked you may find a fairly easy calculus of X approaches leads to Y amount of interest and Z amount of lays. You can sustain yourself indefinately on workrate alone. Good luck to you. Most of us get frustrated that this path doesn’t let you crack the next level of quality. So after some frustration we retool and take another run at the summit.

A metaphor, yesterday

A metaphor, yesterday

As I lay in bed this afternoon with Serb C nuzzled up against me, her clothes strewn across my apartment floor, I ruminate on how not only is she a chaste girl who just moments ago doubled her lifetime cock-count but also that she is of quite astonishing quality. Not merely hot. Hot and elegant and talented and womanly and intelligent. The type of girl last seen in England circa 1960. The haters can keep their fatties. The pussy hounds can keep their weekly grot-fucks. I shall work my niche of monthly Slavic princesses.

Anyhow, I digress. So to this story….

You'd be like that too

You’d be like that too

During my August tour of the former Yugoslavia I pulled a quite-uncharacteristic nightclub rapid escalation. Belgrade has flotsam and jetsam of nightclub boats pushed up against the riverside which are perfect in summer. After necking lots of cheap vodka with Bhodi and Robusto I start rapid escalating. One particular girl responds great and I end up in a afterparty with all her friends in a soviet-era tenement block. Heavy makeouts but no sex. We keep up some occasional facebook chat but she is super-flighty. Her traditional parents micro-manage her life, she doesn’t see any real future in our keeping contact, and she’s an all-round neurotic type. Beneath all this is a sweet charming lady. She performs folk songs with the sweetest soft voice and dances gracefully. I recognise quality. I know when I’ve found a genuinely interesting girl. So I perserve.

Next time I’m in Belgrade she doesn’t want to bus in from her town to see me (well, more like a village). The time after that she agrees to the weekend but her parents forbid it and all we manage is a coffee and stroll through the Belgrade fortress grounds. Her hamster is spinning hard verbalising classic forebrain-hindbrain conflict. As you get more calibrated and speak womanese you’ll find the girl telling you how to seduce her. This one was lacking comfort. She desperately wanted me but future-projected her buyer’s remorse and conflict with her family.

I end up in Belgrade again for the fourth time, mostly to visit Serb A who I closed last time. It interests me greatly how different both girls are yet both are my type. I must really intoxicate myself with females now, savouring the taste like a single malt rolled around my palate. I rent a top floor apartment and she agrees to spend three days with me (but not staying over). I’m certain I’ll fuck her.

This sort of thing

This sort of thing

Day One – She meets me at the bus station and drops me off at my apartment which she had scouted in advance on her father’s orders. I settle in for a few hours until she finishes her family obligations and we meet for dinner. I’m mythologising this girl, delving deep in our interests, finding connection. I don’t forget the fundamentals of body language, vocal tone etc but that stuff comes reflexively now and attraction isn’t the sticking point with her. I think more along Steve Jabba lines – what place is my behaviour coming from? am I connecting to my authentic emotions for her? It’s easy because I genuinely like this girl. We end up at my apartment making out and her hindbrain is taking over, grinding her crotch into me, breathing heavy. I count my chickens and then……. forebrain overide, she scuttles back and it’s gone. Too much ASD. I let her go home.

Day Two – I’ve set her hindbrain going so I know it’ll eventually overpower her forebrain resistance. I don’t even need to be physically present. Sure enough the next day she’s slightly further down that road. We have coffee in a fantastic basement place. I’m sitting back sipping my drink, chatting, looking around and so tranquil. This is exactly the life I want to live. Civilisation is still intact in Serbia. I see masculine men and feminine women everywhere. Of the ten girls in this cafe, if you took any of the top seven into a London nightclub they’d shine like shooting stars putting all the local trollops to shame. We eat late lunch and break for a few hours so I can be alone. She’s back around for the evening so we eat dinner and head back to my place.

As confident I am of the eventual lay – she’s clearly crossed the bridge of inevitability – I just don’t know if it will happen fast enough to get it done this holiday. I’m a patient man but……

Spotify is on with Robusto’s love-making playlist and we dance playfully until I break out a power move and lift her up in a fireman’s carry, spinning her as she hoots and hollers to be let down. Big time arousal. Then I push hard on the kissing, waiting for her hands to start exploring hungrily. That’s the moment I want so I know to push the final mile. I grab her trousers at the belt and as expected she reaches down and unbuttons her jeans. Now is not the time to play it cool. I undress her.

She’s covering her face, shy. She definitely needs to be pushed. So I push. And….. close.

Afterwards she verbalises all the ASD and buyer’s remorse. She’s like a drunk driver on black ice with two shredded tires, careening this way and that out of control. Poor girl. Deep down I can sense her satisfaction and liberation. From hereon it’s all comfort, stroking her hair and pulling her into me. No more sexual stuff. No more bad boy.

Day Three – She’s back around at lunchtime so I kiss her immediately, gauging her mood. She softens and soon stiffens (in the right way). So I push. More sex, better sex. It’s a done deal. Midway through she covers her face so I playfully chastise her shyness. “I’ve only been with one man before” she says. The rest of the day is spent walking around a park, having coffee, feeding of that wonderful compliment of masculine-feminine energy now all the barriers are down. It’s a sweet feeling.

That’s three Serbs out of the last four closes. Every one of them 170cm+, twenty-three or less, and with one prior sexual partner. Have I found my niche?

Little Miss Frame-Controlled

December 16, 2012

There’s a convention in the community to refer to “attraction” and “comfort” as separate stages in a seduction. While generally true, it’s also fair to say once a relationship is progressing you can easily mix them together in the same action. Spice it up with a little frame control and away you go. Here’s something Athol would call an alpha move, then probably scratch his bald head and also say it has lashing of beta.

How to buy a girl a present.

Rule #1 is don’t spend much time, effort or money on it. It’s either an afterthought when you saw it and realised it’s suitability. Or, you’re just amusing yourself to playfully mess with her.

There’s no Rule #2. An easy go-to are the Little Miss books. Whatever characteristic of her you want to mock and frame control her with, you can bet she’s got a Little Miss named after it. I recently bought girls these:

Serb A

Serb A

Serb B

Serb B

If she’s a more introverted girl who doesn’t take teasing well, consider a more gentle rub. My Serb C is still lacking comfort so I’ve got her Little Miss Sunshine. £2 per book, light to carry in your pocket, and she’ll invest herself reading and re-reading it while Roger Hargreaves does all the reframing for you.

Reality Weaving Principles: Cocooning

December 13, 2012

I have a female friend who works in mental health. All day, everyday she is conducting interviews, assessments and site visits for problem families. Everyday she is wallowing in the filth of society’s dregs: junkies, alcoholics, wife-beaters, husband-beaters, child abusers. In her spare time she reads books about famous serial killers or Silence of the Lambs type fiction about serial killers and for TV watches Eastenders. This is a woman who thoroughly enjoys an environment filled with human scum.

I have another female friend who works in fashion. All day, everyday she is at fittings, castings and catwalk shows. Everyday she is engaged in the superficial concerns of styling, hairdressing and make-believe images of beauty, surrounded by homosexual men, vapid models, chancer agents and none of them capable of turning up on time for an appointment nor getting through the day without at least one hissy-fit. This woman deals with such shallow characters by retreating into her thoughts and reading books during breaks.

I work in the banking industry in a job where I’m in constant contact with senior management and team leaders in highly technical fields. I live in a house full of friends in one of London’s nicer areas. I socialise in entertainment hubs such as Soho and Covent Garden. So I’m waking up every morning in a nice house in a nice area and chatting to some carefully-selected friends over breakfast. I shuttle into work on the rush hour commuter train with other gainfully employed people, arriving in the City – a concentration of high-earning high-skilled law-abiding tax payers. All day I deal with highly intelligent men with solid upper-tier university educations and 10+ years of dedicated career experience. These men are typically well groomed, in decent shape and take great satifaction from the job responsibilities they hold and the daily exercise of their hard-won skillset.

These are examples of what I call cocooning, a fundamental tool in reality weaving. The first example shows strange priorities but she’s crafted the environment that gives her pleasure. The second example is a failure to cocoon and it brings her down, forcing defensive behaviour on a daily basis. The later is done well to my priorities.

Why would this be a bad thing?

Why would this be a bad thing?

Cocooning: Structuring your social environment so you only come into contact with the people you like in situations which bring out their best.

London is a multi-cultural socialist cesspit yet it also contains some of the world’s best and brightest. If you can organise your life so you never need engage with (or even see) the capital’s scum then you are not dragged down by them. A wise man said you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. True. You are what you eat. True. Additionally, you take on the colour of your surroundings. Once of humanity’s greatest adaptative strengths is our ability to mold ourselves to the environment and at the same time symbiotically shape it to our needs. That’s why eskimo kids grow up loving snow while Brazilian kids love football.

Reality weaving means structuring your reality to constantly reinforce the identity you want, the emotions you want, so right action becomes effortless. Consider some “big issue” choices you can make:

Accommodation: Do you want a bigger apartment in a shitty part of town or a small room in a nice part? Both are acceptable but consider the implications. The bigger apartment is suitable if you expect to spend most of your downtime there as a commuter dormitory and are willing to pimp it up. If you like to go outside and hang out with your neighbours you’ll lean towards the smaller room.

Workplace: We don’t all get to choose our employer but often you’ll be sitting on a few job offers and the company culture differs. Say you’re an IT programmer. Do you want to work in a fast-paced investment bank surrounded by the elite minds of your industry and high levels of professionalism, an office where you take lunch in a City enclave like Paul or M&S. Or perhaps you prefer to be a top guy in a team of mongs knowing you’ll get an easy ride and less stress, but you’ll have to take lunch alone rather than listen to prattling office gossip. It’s a choice.

Entertainment: This is an easy fix. Channel hopping through cable for prole shows like X-Factor, Britains Next Top Mong and Jeremy Kyle will invite sloth and degeneracy into your mind. I like to absorb cultural products that involve special people achieving special things even if that’s just Jack Bauer being very good at smoking terrorists. Entertainment that creates its dramatic tension by having mediocre people fucking up or vomiting up the dreary minutae of their dreary lives dulls me into apathy.

Travel: We live in an age where we can easy forage far and wide. I used to quip “I only go out drinking when I’m in a foreign country”. You may decide to place your work cocoon in a high-pay/high-cost environment such as London and set up social cocoons in low-pay/low-cost environments such as Latvia and Bulgaria. A typical partying weekend in London could easily be:

  • Beers after work: £20
  • Club Entry: £20
  • Cocktails: £40
  • Curry: £30
  • Taxi home: £20
  • Total: £130

That’s not even extravagant but it’s £130 to go to shitty bars full of unpleasant unattractive women and be subject to the mongs and immigrants of the general poplace. It’s just as easy to spend the weekend as:

  • Flight to Zadar: £50
  • Transfers: £20
  • Airbnb room: £20
  • Drinks: £30
  • Food: £10
  • Total: £130

Same price but you’ve travelled to a monoculture in a civilised country with beautiful women and pleasant environs. Each to his own, but that’s what I prefer.

Welcome to Zadar

Welcome to Zadar

There’s no rocket science in cocooning. Most of us already tend towards it through our daily preferences. I’d just say be aware how powerful a self-aware engagement with these principles can be as choices arise and you do occasional cocooning audits of your life to map out where you are relative to where you wish to be.

Alpha, Sigma, Beta, Gamma, Omega…. It’s all mindset.

December 8, 2012

It’s rare that I directly post about a reader comment but this last one epitomises the just doesn’t get it tone that I often read on the manosphere. Stop thinking about alpha like it is a function of money, fame, good looks or toughness.

Alpha is a mindset. Alpha is expressed through posture, composure of facial muscles, body language, vocal tone…. in short Alpha is a characteristic of your personality. Consider this lost soul referring to this post, I’ll respond in sections:

I find it confusing that in your article, you base alpha, beta, gamma and omega by behavior but it pictures you label men based on their level of attractiveness. For example, how cold Colbert-A multimillionaire with a huge following and his own Super-PAC- be anything BUT an alpha?

No. You can guarantee Colbert is a whiny freak around other men and women, hence why he associates with low-testosterone liberals. Find a real man on the Daily Show. You can’t, they are all snarky, pertulant liberals. Heartiste wrote about paper alphas and Rollo wrote about situational alphas. Just look at Colbert’s wife and think will all that fame and those millions, that’s the best he could do. He’s another Zuckerberg.

colberts and wife

Also, the picture of the Asian and white dudes with the two Asian girls, you label the Asian as omega. From the looks of him, no amount of alpha behavior would make him attractive to the opposite sex except having a massive bank account, but of course if women date him for money, then he is clearly beta.

He could work out, dress well, put himself about a bit in his physicality, and take that retarded look off his face. Consider these two asians. Imanari is not as good looking as the beta guy but clearly exudes alpha. Just watch his highlight reel for how this expresses itself in his fighting style

Random Asian and Masakazu Imanari

Random Asian and Masakazu Imanari

My point is, alpha, beta, etc. is tied to behavior, BUT it is more massively weighted towards physical appearance and build. In my opinion, there’s not a damn thing that Asian guy could do to get massive amounts of alpha level attention because his build, bone structure, height and skull is too small relative to other men.He could be a leader in the workplace due to intelligence but he will never pull quality random girls on the street or in the clubs/bars. His best bet is to go back to Asia carrying American money and status with him.

I’m interested in getting your perspective on this.

Being short, thin and bald is not the end of the world. It’s how you carry yourself, as Keyser Soze shows:

Short bald and weak done wrong

Short bald and weak done wrong

and done right

and done right

Thy name is Gamma

December 8, 2012

We all have our interests and peculiarities. Something I realised from an early age is I’m a system-builder. I take great interest in identifying domains which have learnable skillsets and analytically separate units that can be assembled into a big picture system. Hence I gravitated to sociology as a teenager and ten years later took a deep dive into global economic analysis. In sport I was fascinated with Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. It’s who I am and regular readers can readily see this peculiarity colour my blog writing. Other system-builders in the manosphere include Rollo Tomassi and Vox Day. It’s to the latter I now turn as the lead in to the concept of the gamma male. His original definition:

“The introspective, the unusual, the unattractive, and all too often the bitter. Gammas are often intelligent, usually unsuccessful with women, and not uncommonly all but invisible to them, the gamma alternates between placing women on pedestals and hating the entire sex. This mostly depends upon whether an attractive woman happened to notice his existence or not that day. Too introspective for their own good, gammas are the men who obsess over individual women for extended periods of time and supply the ranks of stalkers, psycho-jealous ex-boyfriends, and the authors of excruciatingly romantic rhyming doggerel. In the unlikely event they are at the party, they are probably in the corner muttering darkly about the behavior of everyone else there… sometimes to themselves. Gammas tend to have have a worship/hate relationship with women, the current direction of which is directly tied to their present situation. However, they are sexual rejects, not social rejects”

When I’m out in the big wide world I sometimes play “spot the alpha”, clocking the men I see and placing them in the socio-sexual hierarchy. Unsuprisingly betas are everywhere but once you add gammas to the mix it can be hard to split hairs correctly. So allow me to present a visual guide.

gamma beardy weirdy

gamma colbert

gamma dear woman

What you should be looking for as classic gamma physical traits: Soft smooth skin like it’s fresh from the spa having never experienced rugged outdoor environments; penetrating eyes with barely veiled self-righteous rage, passive-aggressive body posture braced for a snarky comeback, weak shoulders and neck. Like spotting alphas its a holistic impressions and thus easier to show examples than to define isolated traits. Gammas are often found weaseling in on what they perceive to be easy targets for their overidentifiaction with the feminine (thus their presence on feminist rallies and around Asian women to play the role of Charisma Man).

So a gamma male writing about gamma males...

So a gamma male writing about gamma males…

The main differences between beta and gamma are:

Beta – He doesn’t have the accumulated rage seeping out of his every look. Betas are generally so oblivious to their role as societal workhorse they can’t see how they get taken advantage of. Every knock back, every LJBF and he’s thinking “what did I do wrong?”

Gamma – The whole world is against them, it’s all stupid. The gamma thinks he’s smarter and better than everybody else and the world is stupid for not understanding this and bestowing rewards upon them. Every knock back is the world being wrong. A decade of this leads to a build up toxic misanthropy

Beta – His obliviousness extends to his general willingness to follow rules, accept his position (and the societally-approved mechanisms for advancing it), and find a bigger cause to serve. This leads to positive masculine behaviours such as team-playing, strong work ethic, protectiveness over the weak. The world is a generally fair place. His response to failure is to try harder next time and to observe rules of universal justice, even when they work against his immediate interest.

Gamma – His brain is female (hence why gammas often look like homosexuals). He’s a chancer with a penchant for underhanded conniving, a love of Robert Greene books. He takes on the appearance of team play while looking to chisel out personal advantage. Cannot be trusted, ever. His response to failure tends to be whining and moaning, holding other people to moral standards he’d never think to apply to himself.

Lots of gamma males turn to game seeking the magic pill secret system because it promises the kind of underhand manipulative advantage they crave. Then when it fails they fall back onto player-hate and go join a hater forum. I repeat, gammas are not to be trusted. Rollo outlines why:

Every random chump within earshot of your conversation about Game, about your ‘changed’ way of seeing inter-gender relations, about your most objective critical observations of how women ‘are’, etc. – understand, that chump waits everyday for an opportunity to “correct” you in as public a way as he’s able to muster. That AFC who’s been fed on a steady diet of noble intent, with ambitions of endearing a woman’s intimacy through his unique form of chivalry; that guy, he’s aching for an opportunity to prove his quality by publicly redressing a “villain” like you for your chauvinism. Even under the conditions of relative anonymity (like the internet), he’ll still cling to that want of proving his uniqueness just on the off chance that a woman might read his rebuff and be fatefully attracted to him.

I leave you with two of my favourite Gamma moments. Here’s the classic Dear Woman video that went around the manosphere last year in which a veritable coven of gammas beg for sex, and a photo of a Gamma my buddy Bhodi found cracking onto his girl.

Omega left, Gamma top

Omega left, Gamma top