I’m busy with all kinds of shit right now, so it’s a great opportunity to hand over the reins to my capable friend and wingman Rocky for a theoretical post that is close to all our hearts – closing high value girls. Take it away….
This model is what I use for girls that I want to be able to see over long periods of time; I wouldn’t use this model on a girl that I just want to see once for sex. The idea is to structure a process that is as linear and as predictable as possible; the aim is to make as few escalation mistakes along the way as possible. By that I mean that I do want to create an escalation process (romantic and sexual escalation) that is as smooth as possible and I want to trigger as little rejection to my escalation as possible. Note that I do not fear rejection and I am not trying to avoid escalation; my aim is to avoid rejection as much as possible and if possible to flip the script, making her seduce me. Experience showed me that rejection is mostly a result of escalating too early (sexual and romantic escalation).
Failure due to romantic overescalation: We all know the “I-would-marry-her-right-now-and-treat-her-like-a-queen-for-the-rest-of-her-life-feeling” when first dating a very hot and charismatic girl. As a result you will become needy because you feel the urge to let her know early on how much you are falling for her. This clearly creeps girls out because you have no reason to like her yet. She will assume that your affection is fake or phony in order to sleep with her as soon as possible or you have no standards and fall for any girl, both of which is bad. You could also miss to create enough attraction if you go down the romantic route too early.
Failure due to sexual overescalation: Similarily, if you bring the girl into a situation where she has to reject your physical escalation, you might lose her as well. Even if you manage to blast through LMR and sleep with her she is very likely to get buyers remorse the next day and she may not want to see you again. Note that sex after strong LMR is not very good usually anyway.
The cure: In my experience, these are the two main issues why guys screw up and lose girls. To circumvent these two problems it is important to understand that
- YOU NEED TO GIVE THE GIRL REASONS WHY YOU LIKE HER or your romantic interest will come across as fake and phony and
- YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THE GIRL UNDERSTANDS AND BELIEVES THAT YOU WILL SEE HER AGAIN AFTER YOU HAD SEX WITH HER or she will feel like a slut.
To be able to create 1) and 2) you need to give yourself time because you need multiple dates to make it plausible to the girl. 1) and 2) go hand in hand because for a girl liking a guy and having sex with him goes hand in hand. Girls want to have sex just as much as guys do (or even more). The difference is that girl wants to know that you want to have sex with her because you like her and not only because you are horny. The same counts for herself: if she likes you she will want to have sex with you as well. Girls are very vulnerable and their biggest fear is to have sex with a guy that doesn’t care about her personality and that doesn’t want to see her again after sex. Almost all girls have had this kind of experience and they remember that slutty feeling very well: it is their biggest fear. For that reason girls have very finely tuned sensors that are detecting guys with the following mindset: I want to sleep with you because you are hot but I don’t really care about you. With a very hot and charismatic girl (gf material) it is your aim to make it plausible to a her that you want to have sex with her because you really like her and find her very attractive. In that way you will avoid triggering her slut defense. As a matter of fact, you will become the special guy that appreciates her for who she is and has more than just a physical need to satisfy.
Timing and Escalation: you are constantly escalating. The difference to a 10min club extraction is that the speed of the escalation is much slower and you bring in an additional element which I called romantic escalation. In a club you approach, attract, bounce and close. All this can happen within 10min to 2h. For getting the charismatic hotty that you consider gf material you need to take a different route. You take your time. You escalate sexually but you escalate slowly, while you are building comfort, trust and chemistry at the same time. Then you escalate sexually more while letting her know that you like her.
You have various dates, some of which involve activities that she and you are interested in: maybe an art exhibition or maybe a walk along the canal from Camden to Paddington. After 3-4 dates you end up at her or your place. You have made out with her various times before and both of you feel that this is going very well. You may cook together and watch a movie and then half way through the movie it just happens. No LMR, no ASD, you jump each other, the sex is passionate and there to release all the sexual tension that has built up over time. Because you want to keep her around and because you feel comfortable with her you stay over after sex. You may get up in the morning together and have breakfast. The next day she calls and tells you that she had an incredible evening and night with you and that she is free on Wednesday. You reciprocate and tell her that she can come over on Wednesday.
Thanks Rocky. If this doesn’t sound like rocket science, it’s because it isn’t. Much of the complexity in game comes from digging yourself out of holes you should have never fallen into, or choosing the wrong girl / failing to screen out a girl who isn’t right for you.