Instant Date a Model: Step-by-Step Analysis

August 31, 2010

It’s learnin’ time chaps. Here’s a video of a Malaysian model I picked up a few days ago near Trafalgar Square, with full audio from approach to instant date. Suave and I have been shooting a bunch of these for a new seminar we’re working on but this is a freebie. The date itself was an hour so I’ve edited that bit down alot.

Before I kick off with a minute-by-minute analysis of the video, here’s the first few general learning points:

1. She’s a solid 9, in her early twenties. I’m an ugly fucker in his mid-thirties. That should tell you something about how limiting beliefs are all in your head.
2. Aside from her modelling, she’s also a photographer, serious martial artist and a video game nerd. That’s why she’s listening with rapt attention when I talk about sparring, and later we had a discussion on the relative merits of Lost Planet 2 and Left 4 Dead co-op multiplayer.
3. It was raining the whole time. That shouldn’t stop your daygame.

0:08 – Real photos from her portfolio.
0:18 – Middle of the road, waiting in a shop queue, lying in a park, whatever. You can open anywhere. Just adjust your calibration accordingly.
0:22 – This is what Yosha calls the unconventional interruption / pre-frame before the opener itself. An “excuse me” plus a short statement to build intrigure that separates you from the salesmen, chuggers and panhandlers that also approach girls.
0:24 – Every opener is different and should be tailored to the girl. My rule is to think “what is it that made me notice and approach her, rather than any other attractive girl”. That’s harder than you think because there are so many barriers in your mind between you and your sincerity. This girl looked very serious so I used that. It paces her reality, intrigues her, makes her self conscious, encourages her to deny the seriousness (and thus be receptive), and shows balls all at the same time. The best openers are spontanteous because she isn’t hearing the words, she’s feeling the fresh playful vibe.
0:39 – Mildly challenging by questioning the type of work she does. Shows social intelligence, hence her laugh. I haven’t yet told her she’s attractive, so this is an indirect-direct opener.
0:48 – Having showed alot and poured energy in, I’m now going to shut up a little and make her talk. The conversational responsibility is still on me but at this early stage I have to begin her process of progressive investment.
1:01 – We are now in the ploughing bridge (term borrowed from Yosha) in which I have to hang in there and show I’m not a pussy who ejects at the first silence but nor am I the nervy guy who chatters incessantly. So I throw another playful challenge to get her qualifying.
1:25 – She’s picking up her share of the conversation admirably so I can begin to reduce my energy and talk less. The initial high energy was necessary to carry the set and to show her the good vibe she can win back if she’s prepared to earn it but I’m not gonna just give it away. This is the sub-communication subtext to her qualification and investment.
1:40 – Notice the leg movement. Laughing and smiling is the obvious IOI but in daygame the leg movement tells you alot. Crossed legs are her way of settling into the conversation, kicking and stepping legs show playfulness, and when she crosses/uncrosses or shifts weight of her hips she is pussy-tingling.
1:50Hit and run DHV. I like to keep my DHVs very short – maybe a sentence or two. Here I’m doing a pre-selection routine but it’s actually relevant to the conversation and I am using it to qualify her as not being a whiner.
1:58 – Notice how close we are and how little I move. I’m holding strong eye contact too. She’s comfortable with that.
2:17 – Qualifying her on the posh school and playfully disagreeing when she objects until she backs down. On paper it would sound like I’m qualifying too hard but it’s playful, I’m smirking, and calibrating her reaction which is still smiley and playful.
2:21 – “kiss all the boys” puts some light sexualisation into it.
2:28 – The estrogen question is showing social intelligence about girls in groups while also personalising the conversation to her, giving her an open-ended question she can use to invest in the conversation and convey her personality. This is not a canned question – it’s the first time I used it. Most of the stuff I say is natural and just feeding off what she gives me and what I observe in this particular girl.
2:31 – You saw that leg cross, right?
2:37 – Nice situational excuse for the bounce and lead, also showing some protective qualities but I frame it as I’ll get run over so there’s light douche-baggery in this too.
2:58 – Pretttttttyyyyy!!!!

Beautiful in every way

3:09 – Compare her movement to my lack of reaction. I am listening non-reactively and in a judgemental mood so she can’t figure me out. In the rare cases guys that hit on her haven’t blown themselves out in the first thirty seconds, by now they would be jumping all over her energy and feeding it back to her. I’m just sucking it in like a black hole.
3:15 – I throw in a statement of interest. “I’m starting to like you”. She’s winning me over.
3:29 – See how she walks around me. That’s a shit test to see if I pander to her whims. I stay rock solid.
3:54 – Time for the instant date as the rain suddenly gets heavier. I self-referentially mock my earlier “rain is a challenge to be confronted” macho talk and then lead. Usually I wait about ten minutes but the weather forced my hand and the vibe was brilliant anyway.
4:00 – False time constraint and indicate the cafe is only around the corner. This avoids the “big scary date” frame.
4:08 – More light conversational flow and we move further into rapport. We are finding connections and common interests.
4:38 – What an adorable girl. She’s trying to make this interesting and adding her own value
4:45 – A light challenge / disapproval over her liking cats and she immediately qualifies to make me like her again.
5:22 – Another hit and run DHV, about living in Japan. It hits.
5:29 – I deliberately delay answering her question. I’m my own man, I don’t just dance to her tune. But I’m not being a dick about it cos we really have just reached the Starbucks. Good novels are about posing a question and then slowly revealling the answer. Good conversation is the same.

The rest of the video is rapport and I can’t be arsed to go into detail. She talked alot more than it looks from the edited snips but unfortunately there wasn’t much video with her face in the frame so I had to cut most of it.

Anyways, this is how my daygame looks these days.

Krauser’s Chick Crack 2: Relationship Edition

August 29, 2010

* These routines are only for use after you’ve banged a girl and they are designed to help acquire and maintain hand in the relationship. The goal is not to have the girl crack up laughing but instead to have her accept her subordinated position. You do this while having fun *

4. This is my side
Description: Literally putting the girl in her place. You are the man who likes to do things a certain way and she is going to fit in with that.

This is good for anytime you are walking down the street, lying in bed, watching tv or any other situation in which you can claim a preferred position out of the two available to you even if it’s for no good reason. Without asking permission move her or tell her that she’s got your place and you are taking it back.


– You are both about to sit down in a Starbucks. “Wait. That’s my chair. You sit here” and take the chair she was going to use.
– Walking down the street you just move her to the other side of you (e.g. if she’s walking on your right, bodily move her to your left side while you maintain your line) then say “I prefer this side”

5. Don’t worry
Description: Inspired by the SS prison guards in Sven Hassel novels who told prisoners not to worry about being executed because it would all be over quickly and the guards would still get home in time for dinner. You are telling the girl that she is expendable and what happens to you is far more important than what happens to her, but the joke is that you aren’t supposed to tell her but do anyway.

Use: Exaggerate a situation which could potentially get out of control and hurt the girl then say “don’t worry, if [something goes wrong] ….. [pause where she expects you to finish with a white knighting statement] I’ll just find a new girl. It’ll be fine”


– I did this one this morning while my girl was cooking breakfast and I could smell a bit of gas after she had trouble lighting the hob: “I smell gas. Don’t worry. If it explodes and kills you I’ll just get another girl. It’ll be fine.”
– Girl calls to say she might be late for the date cos the boss is keeping her back at the office: “Don’t worry. If you’re late I’ll just get another girl. It’ll be fine.”

Acquire and maintain

6. Grunts and shoves
Description: This is how you caveman in a relationship. Just think “how would a caveman act” if language was yet to be invented. You are taking what you want.

Use: Ultimately you should be reducing all your communication to a series of grunts, pushes and shoves. When you are hanging out in your house doing nothing in particular, say you both just got out of bed on a Sunday morning.


– When you walk past her on the way to the shower give her a hip bump that knocks her over onto the bed
– When you want a cup of coffee, grab the coffee mug next to you, hold it out expectantly and grunt until she takes it and makes the coffee. When she comes back reward her with a happy grunt and smile.

7. Important person coming
Description: I first figured this out when my girl was cleaning her teeth at the kitchen sink and I wanted to fill up a glass of water using the same cold water tap. I moved her to one side, filled up my water, then moved her back and walked away without a word. The subcommunication is “I am the important person here. When we both want the same thing, I go first.”

Use: You go first, she waits until you’re done.


– In a shop queue, the staff are about to take her order, you step in front of her and say “I’m first. This girl is happy to wait” and then order. Remember it’s playful and obvious you are both together.

8. It’s okay to be wrong
Description: About 8 years ago I stumbled across this one. In Japanese TV panel shows the celebrity guests often have a table-tennis paddle type thing that has a green circle on one side (“yes”) and a red cross on the other (“no”) which they hold up to answer questions. I made one for my girlfriend to use when we were discussing things and I wrote a few words on each side:

Green Side: Yes, I AGREE. Please teach me more
Red Side: I know I’m probably wrong but I DISAGREE. Please correct me

She had a lot of fun using it because obviously it subcommunicates that I’m always right.

Use: A shorter form version of this routine is that whenever a girl disagrees with you give her a condescending look and say “That’s okay. Really. It’s okay for you to be wrong. I still like you.” Don’t rebut her point, don’t get drawn into logic and evidence. Just smile reassuringly like she’s a child who will eventually figure out why she’s wrong and you will stand by her till she figures it out.

This last one is fine to use early on, before the f-close.

Chick Crack 1 is here. The inspiration comes from Assasnova‘s e-book of the same name. In all of these routines you have a playful vibe but a deadpan delivery – she knows you well enough now to know you are just messing around. Do not do these things seriously.

Facebook game to set up the f-close

August 26, 2010

I haven’t banged this girl yet. Picked her up in Lithuania and kiss-closed easily enough but the gods were against me for the lay. I’m gonna be back in her neck of the woods within a fortnight so I’ve been playing the long game. Out of my entire harem, this girl will be number one if I can slide her into position. She’s adorable.

It doesn’t really need a commentary. This girl is hyper-innocent and really needs comfort, seeing as she knows I’m a player and knows I have a harem. So this chat is all about giving that comfort, snowflaking her, and getting the LMR now so that the wicket is clear for my trip.

Formatting note: long spaces like this       mean a new line. Just removed the line breaks to reduce the post length. Timing is important.

Borat left. Suave's girl right

23:00 Her: trololo   evening good   evening good    i`ve got schedule for september
23:02 Me: hey!   my favourite Borat girl!
23:02 Her: auch, not Cheryl ;/
23:03 Her: good at least you like borat type girls
23:04 Me: Not borat girls. I like you
23:04 Her: even better;]   sooo    what i wanted to say   is that i know when i`m free in september
23:05 Me: which is?
23:05 Her: not perfect situation but a bit better than i expected    9th
23:05 Me: so you are free all day everyday?
23:05 Her: then 3 days of work    and 13-15    haha, u wish:)
23:05 Me: So let me get this straight…..   I have you completely   totally   exclusively   for one day    then three days for you to cry with loneliness      then I got you again for three days    totally    exclusively
23:06 Her: right     and you gonna have some fun with non-borat girls while i`m crying    nice    but well    there`s nothing i can do    need to accept the fact
23:07 Me: Yeah    You are my favouritist thugh
23:07 Her: will cry on somebody`s arm at work ;p    lovely :*:*
23:08 Me: So we’re kinda like boyfriend-girlfriend     In a weird way
23:09 Her: in a very weird way     `cause not aware what`s happening when we appart       no     i know actually
23:10 Me: If you lived in London we’d be proper boyfriend-girlfriend      not weird
23:10 Her: you`re visiting France ;p      but i don`t     so..
23:10 Me: Yeah     😦     you’re totally my type too…..
23:10 Her: half of Asia is your type:)))
23:11 Me: Just the Borat half
23:11 Her: what a relief;pp
23:12 Her: how is that my “boyfriend”`s at home today?
23:13 Me: Just been for work drinks.     Darling….
23:14 Her: i see     i`ve just came home from work      need a cup of tea
23:15 Me: OK. I’ll put the kettle on      now that we’re boyfriend-girlfriend, I have to be nice to you
23:17 Her: finally!      it`s a miracle    ;p
23:17 Me: Any other requests?     shall I warm your slippers?
23:18 Her: a massage would be nice:)
23:18 Me: shoulders?    legs?    breasts?
23:19 Her: a bit everywhere:]      i also see dust on the table      would be good if you cleaned it   honey    ;p
23:20 Me: I’ll clean your mouth out with soap, woman!      I mean…… darling…. 🙂
23:21 Her: ;D     ok, your not a husband, just a boyfriend      will keep such requests for the future   ;p
23:21 Me: So are you gonna ride on the back of my motorbike?
23:22 Her: cool bu not romantic;/      *but    how`s my tea?    don`t forget    no milk..
23:23 Me: Just boiled     I could take you for a dinner date in a castle by the sea     We’d drink the finest wine
23:24 Her: ooooh,i`m totally in love with you now   ;D
23:24 Me: Then we’d walk down the steps. Stone steps, cut into the cliff
23:24 Her: hahaha
23:24 Me: We’d walk along the beach, with the wind whistling around us    We’d hug tightly, to keep warm     The waves would lap the shore by our feet    We’d write our names in the sand with our toes
23:25 Her: and then we`d kissed under the rain
23:25 Me: It would say “[Borat] + [Krauser]”
23:25 Her: THE END    ;DDD
23:25 Me: Or alternatively….     …. I’d just fuck you up the ass in the nightclub toilets
23:26 Her: 2nd option just amazing     i`m fascinated!
23:27 Me: 😉
23:27 Her: as there`s still no warm tea on my table gonna have to go and make it by myslef     *myself     ;/
23:28 Me: glad you have your priorities right
23:29 Her: we`ll deffinitely chet before you come    *chat    nice eve to you    muah
23:29 Me: ok
23:29 Her: *
23:29 Me: try not to think too much about me
23:29 Her: not going to be easy..

MLTR-game is much maligned as impossible but right now I’m having a good go at it. I’ve got five girlfriends and every single one of them knows I see other girls. So far, they don’t seem to mind. There’s a perfect mix of alphaness, honesty, and comfort. I haven’t found it yet but it doesn’t seem so tough. At least in the short term.

Anyone who noticed I shamelessly ripped off a Jeffy routine = +10 points. Respect the cock.

Ravishing Rick Rude = Alpha Douchebag

August 25, 2010

Ah, the glory days of 1980s professional wrestling. Cartoonishly huge men bashing each other around the ring and my friends and I too young and niave to doubt it’s reality. This was long before the UFC came to town. The douchebag is strong in all the best heels of wrestling and the “edgy” babyfaces like The Rock, Chris Jericho and Stone Cold Steve Austin too. But the absolute king of cocky assholery is the one and only Ravishing Rick Rude. Watch and learn kiddies.

And here he is staying in character for a talk show hyping his title shot. Great body language, frame control, slow movements and just oozing with cocky arrogance. Great ending too.

Unfortunately a career-ending injury in Japan and the usual curse of professional wrestlers (combination of injuries painkillers, boozing, time-zone hopping and steroids) finally did him in age forty.

The Expendables – The best and worst of action movies

August 19, 2010


  • The cast. It’s like all of the best action movie stars of the past twenty years all in one movie. It can barely handle that much awesomeness in one place.
  • Arnie, Sly and Willis in a scene together
  • Violence that makes even the last Rambo movie seem tame
  • Massively alpha Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren performances.

White Knight Army


The plot: Stupid entitlement princess betrays her father in the worst possible way by hiring a gang of mercenaries to kill him and steal his country. Daddie finds out and tries to save her from the inevitable but she won’t stop causing trouble until she’s captured by the Evil White Man. The most awesome gang of white knights ever assembled then slaughters about 500 men to get the ingrate bitch out of her own mess. The end. About as misandrist as a movie can be.

I still fucking loved it. Still, a reminder that you can be the most badass alpha on the planet but if you refuse the red pill you’ll get yourself into all kinds of needless grief over wimmin.

Oh, I finger-fucked my thai girl in the cinema during the harbour bombing run scene.

Breaking the man-eater – Part 2

August 18, 2010

Saturday night and I’m waiting in the queue to a high-end nightclub with today’s Japanese girl, Suave, and three Brazilian girls he knows. It’s been hard work with the Jap cos she’s been with me the past three hours to a bar, eating pizza in a park, and briefly at my house but it’s not really on. Kino is terrible due to her deliberately blocking it even though the conversation is good. The doormen don’t let her in because she’s wearing Converse and I’m almost pleased. I direct her to the station and the rest of us go in.

Right from the off the three girls are social proofing us and before long I get a strong proximity IOI from two girls in similar red dresses, one is a tall 20yr old black chick and the other a slightly porky whitey. They are trying to catch my eye but I refuse to give it as Suave and I talk like nothing else in the club matters but us and the three Brazilians dance next to us. As I walk past the black girl to go outside she makes a big effort to catch my eye and I blank her again.

Just before the doors I tell Suave to stop and sure enough the two girls are following us out. I open with “Hey girls, I see you used the same pair of curtains to make your dresses, Are you twins?” They hook immediately and we lead them outside for a smoking break. The first ten minutes is great with kino and deep eye contact with the black girl but Suave’s girl is a typical pain the arse bolshy Northern English bitch who manages to kill the vibe and cockblock me. Before my target has lost interest entirely my date turns up. She’s alone. I just walk away from the target without a word and collect my date.

Black girl 1 (red dress) goes inside to the bar so I position myself on the opposite side in full view of her, leaning back against the bar while black girl 2 (my date) throws herself over me. It’s on. Both girls are similar in size and hotness so I figure this jealously plotline has a chance at tearing a hole in the time-space continuum. Both notice each other and it begins. Suave and I are massively preselected now and he uses it to number close a cute little Colombian and brings her into the set so it’s five girls and two guys. Black Girl 2 grabs my cock and is generally escalating until Black Girl 1 comes round and grabs my arm and smiles, then dances six feet in front of me staring continuously. When Suave goes outside and she follows five minutes later I disentangle myself from Black Girl 2 and try a rapid number close.

Bloody hard work

Rebuffed. Although massively attracted her pride is piqued and she salves it by turning me down. I wish her a good night and focus on the main target. From now on I get quite an education in game from Black Girl 2. Really, I learned more in the following five hours with her than any other set. Too much to write about so I’ll put chronological highlights in bullet points.

  • She wants to get £100 out the cash machine to pay her friend who is coming to deliver coke. As I walk her there she’s bitching about her high heels. I throw her against a wall and we make out. She keeps pushing me away, I blast through it.
  • I call my member’s bar to reserve a table. While on the phone I click my fingers and indicate my date to come over. She does. I grab her by the throat, push her up against a wall and inbetween talking to the receptionist we make out. She loves it.
  • In the taxi to the bar she’s all over me but keeps pulling away to tell me I’m a loser and probably shit in bed whereas she’s awesome. I tell her I’m rubbish and that I come within a minute then just roll over and go to sleep. She starts grabbing my cock.
  • In the bar it’s really quiet and we have lots of privacy. When we talk about meeting tomorrow she remembers this morning when I said I was busy. I say just busy on the evening with my Turk who I’m gonna fuck. I suggest we meet in the afternoon so I can fuck her first and have a better story for my friends. She responds by pulling out her iphone and showing me text messages from the three ex-boyfriends she’s fucked this week. She doesn’t wanna fuck me this week because then she’d feel like a slut. I cross her off my LTR list. Fuck buddy is the limit of her potential now.
  • She qualifies constantly about her sexual prowess – her £4k false tits (admittedly brilliantly installed), her too tight pussy which she claims gives men their best ever fuck, and so on. I counter by saying that stuff may be true but doesn’t interest me – all I care about is the girl knows how to hold her body in visually appealing poses and is enthusiastic. She qualifies immediately saying she can do all that and will scream my name all night.
  • After a line of coke she gets her breasts out in the bar. No-one can see – the other guests have gone home and the waiter is in the staff room. I say “those are going in my mouth right now” and drag her upstairs to a toilet so I can lock the door shut. While I’m sucking her tits she’s fiddling with the lock and accidently opens it. Another couple burst in and we all start laughing. My girl runs downstairs and says it made her even hornier.
  • We get the bill early and she tries to make me pay. I refuse. After some histrionics she covers her share then invites me back to the toilets for a line of coke. I finger fuck her and slap her arse while she’s cutting the lines. Shes telling me to fuck off and how I’ll never get near her pussy again. As we both snort a line I push her up against the wall, hold her wrists firmly by her sides and just stare into her eyes, lips almost touching, for five minutes as we get the rush. Massive sexual energy.
  • Downstairs she sits on my fingers and I finger fuck her some more, but it looks like she’s just sitting next to me with my hand on her arse. The waiter comes to collect the bill and I engage him in low energy conversation for five minutes while continuing to frig my girl knuckle deep – who has her head in her hands trying to hold in the ecstasy. If the waiter notices, he’s acting like he doesn’t. When he goes away she hugs me and gushes about how sexy it was.
  • Really late on, she stands in the corner with a leg up against the sofa and pulls up her skirt, pushes aside her panties and starts showing me this legendary pussy of glory. She’s pulling the labia apart and telling me how it tastes like honey and men are addicted to going down on her. I tell her I’m mildly impressed but I don’t go down – not unless it’s my girl’s birthday. As soon as she sits back down I point to the ceiling and say “that’s a security camera”. She is shocked and humiliated at first, then finds it hilarious and starts waving at it.
  • She won’t extract back to mine, claiming fatigue. As we head out to find a taxi she starts shit testing even harder, telling me I’m a loser and boring and I’ll never get to fuck her. I tell her she’s a whore and a pain in the arse. It’s all a game though – but it seems very serious at times. Outside Revolution bar I push her into an alcove and we make out. She’s telling me some more that I’ll never fuck her then asks if I’ve ever come in a girls mouth. I whip out my phone and show her a video of me coming over my Thai girl’s face. Her eyes sparkle and she asks if I like taking videos. Then I push her head down and she sucks me off enthusiastically. I tell her not to make me come because I’m saving it for the Turk tomorrow.

Finally she gets a cab home after I run some comfort. This ball-busting frame can’t go on forever. She sends me a nice text to tell me she got home safe. Phew, what a night! Learning points?

  • This girl was a self-confessed sex addict / ball-buster. The way she talked about her exes (and the texts she showed) it’s obvious she completely dominates the men in her life. Not so with me – I told her I’ll break her and every time she hit me with something I came back harder. She loved it.
  • She’s nearly six foot, slim, with massive hooters and a perfect arse. She has incredible sexual confidence and tried her best to alternate between intimidating me with her sexual power while also getting me to supplicate before her to get a piece. I refused and made her chase, or just took what I wanted
  • I’ve never been shit tested so hard and in so many different ways. It was an education. Once I’d figured out what was going on (very early in the initial pick up) I never looked back. It was tremendous fun.
  • Great for the inner game to go through this night, and with such an incredibly hot girl. As recently as two months ago I wouldn’t have been able to handle her at all.

For all this, I’m not sure if I’ll see her again. She’s massively attracted but she’s also got lots of options already set up and I have a nagging feeling that somewhere along the line I must’ve dropped the ball a little – though I can’t think of anything. I just figure I should’ve fucked her and yet I didn’t so ergo something went wrong.

We’ve swapped some texts and she invited me out to a club on Wednesday but it was a mass text so I didn’t bother responding. She’s already demonstrated she’s totally into me so I think I have to maintain value, not chase, and see if she comes chasing.

I bang my first Turk

August 18, 2010

My second date with the Turk goes pretty well. I’m not planning on seeing her on Friday but when I text a variation of “whassup” in the morning she suggests meeting for coffee after her school so I think why not. We’d already set up Sunday evening so I figure if she’s got a “no sex until third date” rule I wanna get the second out of the way.

Most of the date we’re sat in Caffe Nero. She’s a strangely cerebral sort and wracked with a crisis of meaning in her life – not in a loopy way but she’s a lifelong leftie activist who has recently realised its all bullshit and can feel herself being drawn right wing. All her old friends are still on the barricades with their Obama badges and while their stupidity is disgusting her she feels guilt at becoming one of those evil capitalists.

So cue a long educational sermon from me. It brings out all my alpha positives:

  • Strong frame
  • Unshakeable sense of being right
  • Worldy wise man of knowledge
  • Demonstration of high intelligence
  • Reality-shaking insight
  • Placing her in the student role
  • Witty intellectual one-liners

I’m so pleased to find a girl who is ripe for the sort of material I usually reserve for drunken bar arguments with male friends. She’s listening in rapt attention and getting the pussy tingle from my exposition of Ludwig von Mises‘ “Socialism” magnum opus. I think I really have her when I explain the problem of economic calculation.

I’m simultaneously curing a leftie progressive fucktard AND seducing a hot chick. Two beautiful demonstrations of righteous power at the same time. Kinda like synching a triangle choke while catching a boomerang. Or getting a blowjob while playing Xbox360.

Once I determine her old reality is completely destroyed and I am her new lord and master, I sit her on my lap and finger fuck her. In the middle of the cafe, at 3pm. There’s plenty of customers around. She’s looking at me saying “stop it, I’ll just melt” while making no effort to stop me. She has to go to work so I put her on the Underground and go for my next date.

Sunday rolls round and I tell her to meet me at the station by my house. It’s 9pm and we’re both starving. I walk her to Tescos and she’s protesting about not knowing she was going to my house and how she can’t believe my audacity. In the supermarket I hand her the basket and weigh it down with a week’s shopping. She’s giving me more of the “I can’t believe you are getting me to do this” stare but still stumbling around after me. I cook pasta.

Back in my lounge I run the “trolol” youtube routine to raise her state, then the fighting pandas, and go for the swoop. There’s plenty of token resistance. She doesn’t wanna straddle me (fully clothed) but I just insist and she gets into it. Then I stand up and carry her to the door but she’s pushing it closed, refusing to go to the bedroom. I pull back and drink my white russian. She drinks hers. I just stare at her. No touching, no kissing. Just giving her serious rape eyes over my glass. She’s quivering and downs her drink. Without a word or a kiss I put my arm around her waist and walk her to the bedroom. No more LMR.