Take that Fritz!

June 27, 2010

Not long after finishing my daygame I’ve showered off, redressed, recharged and then go out with Jambone for a quiet pint. We aren’t fussed about sarging but we’ll keep an eye out for any decent venues. On the way up to London Bridge I see a fuckin’ smoking black girl walk past. Facially she’s only a 6 or 7 but she has an unbelievably voluptuous figure and it’s all natural – narrow waist, huge curvy arse, and rounded breasts. I give chase and do my normal streetgame. She’s loving it and her manner is charming. She’s Ugandan and unfortunately says she’s got a boyfriend of 3 years who she is happy with. There was clear attraction though – I ran the set perfectly but she was simply unavailable.

Jambone and I get a pint and make our way into the beer garden of a nearby pub. It’s fairly student-y but not especially busy for a saturday night. There’s only one set that is approachable – 2 girls sitting at a wooden table. It’s convenient too because the other end of the table has the only free seats in the place. We sit. There’s a drained puch of Caprisun juice there so I open matter of factly asking if it’s their’s and how it’s rude to bring your own drinks into a pub. Then I talk with Jambone for a while and we gradually pull them in.

Achtung! Schnell!

This set is now run using mechanical half-arsed Mystery Method. It’s quiet, relaxed and totally suits our talkative low-key game. Perfect conditions really and no rush. It’s like we are robots running through the motions:

  • Periodic takeaways to talk amongst ourselves
  • Opinion questions thrown out to reopen
  • DHV stories
  • Teasing with cocky funny

When I come back from getting Jambone and my drinks I catch one sentence from him of “she’s like a different woman now” and I immediately think “oh, Jambone’s bed & breakfast DHV story”. And the funny thing is it all hits home with the girls and they are loving it.

The SNL was a 50/50 if we’d been prepared to stay out clubbing with them because they were drinking solidly and definitely up for something. Both 19 yr old Germans. I’m afraid that means my 22 yr old German squeeze is now undercut and needs to up her game. We number close, facebook add and have an early night. I’ll probably call her.

Saturday afternoon

June 26, 2010

My oh my I’ve been doing some sets lately. Here’s a quick rundown from today, with lots of missing girls when the sets blurred into one.

HB Korea on the underground. Opened asking if she’d painted her nails to match her t-shirt or the other way around. She was leaning in, smiling and qualifying right from the beginning but she had to get off the next station.
HB English Actress was a 2-set walking across a town square. Deep brown skin like an Indian and lovely calves. I open by addressing her fugly friend who amazingly just excuses herself in under a minute and leaves me with the target. We chat about ten minutes and I take her number with “Ok, this is the bit where I’m hitting on you. If you hadn’t already figured it out.” Some text game follows:

Krauser 6:12pm: Hey Miss Actress, are we text buddies now?
Her 6:22pm: Haha!! Yeah 🙂
Krauser 6:28pm: Cool. Just don’t blow through all your best material right away 😉
Her 6:45pm: Well we are still in recession so I’ll wait a while 🙂
Krauser 6:57pm: Have you figured out where you’re watching tomorrow’s momentof international glory yet?
Her 7:49pm: Not yet but I’m at class tomorrow but def wanna watch us beat the Germans!!

That was half an hour ago. I’ve got high hopes of this because she’s super hot and I was very direct.

HB Moscow
was a tall scary-looking ice queen so I used that in my open: “Hi, I wanted to come over and give you a compliment but you look like one of those scary girls who is really mean to guys.” She liked that and we chatted five minutes but it wasn’t going anywhere.

HB Cute was a buxom English chick who I ran across the road to open. She had a cute little pink dress showing curvy legs and a nice black bob. After ten minutes I took her number. Seems 50/50 on whether its solid but she’s absoutely well worth banging.

HB English
I chatted to in the doorway of a clothes shop for ten minutes. Halfway through she seemed ready to leave even though she was having fun so I said “Hang on another few minutes so I can start hitting on you” and she laughed and did, but turns out she’s living with her boyfriend.

I approached HB French Photographer not sure if she was legal because she was so petite. She’s 19. Fantastically stylish dress and apparently she travels internationally for her photos. That was a ten minute or so chat and she gave me her card. Probably flaky which sucks because she’s a 9 in my books.

HB Persia chatted for about 20 minutes and seemed to be warming to it but refused the close and then it turns out the student who was out with Moran had just opened her a few minutes before me. Some HB Foreign didn’t like me at all at a bus stop while HB America did but I couldn’t get enough rapport before her bus came – I felt I was getting close and would’ve done the job given another five minutes.

HB Portugal nearly shit herself when I opened her so I didn’t bother ploughing. I made light conversation with a few seated sets where I didn’t have any intent so it doesn’t really count. I stopped one stunning leggy HB Bengali girl with this opener: “Hi. Do you mind if I give you a compliment? I saw you striding down the street with your long legs – which are nice by the way – but what really caught my attention was your shoes. That leopard skin on them. You know what it makes me think of? Prostitutes.”

She cracks up laughing at that and hooks but I lose momentum and with that she loses interest. A solid 9 and scary looking too so I’m pleased I had the balls to open like that with her. I spend five minutes talking to a lovely HB Nigerian Public School who doesn’t seem better than a 6 at first but she absolutely enchants me with her eyes, smile and manner. Shame she wouldn’t give me her number.

On the way home I open HB Bulgaria because her name is written on her art portfolio and it’s an odd one. I ask her about it. She’s the nicest girl of the day and really responding well, IOIing with her hair twirling and smiling girlishly but again the Underground cockblocks me because she gets off the very next stop. Can’t create enough rapport in sixty seconds to justify her staying past her stop or me getting off to follow her.

I reckon I did another five or so sets on top of this that I’ve forgotten about. It was a great day because pretty much every girl I spoke to hooked and chatted. For about half an hour I hit the social state where you can open literally anything.

3 hours, 3 dates

June 24, 2010

I’m out day-stalking with Shammers today and it’s burning hot. I do a few warm up approaches that go ok – I compliment a stunner on her dress and get into a ten minute conversation with some young chick who has written top-10 hits and  has recently signed to a major to sing solo. That one is going well but she gets a call from her parents before I’ve got good rapport and it ends in a  facebook when she claims she can’t give out her number. She has her own wikipedia page and wasn’t bullshitting – this girl is a genuine hot property and I think she is on the verge of stardom.

I’m trying a new frame today, based on the Gunwitch audio set I’ve been listening to. I think my technique and calibration are totally fine now so I don’t have to think about anything in set – I trust my faculties to sort it out. The major missing link is inner game, specifically that I take a long slow route after the opener when I ought to be showing far more sexual intent once I’m a couple of minutes in. I decide today’s theme is:

1. Strong sexual intent through subcommunication (NOT verbalised)
2. Keep plowing all the way through to the same day lay. Only take a phone number if the SDL is ruled out (e.g. by her time constraint or more than one rejected extraction)

With this in mind I decide to focus more on target selection rather than in-set skills. All targets must pass these logistical filters:

1. Alone
2. Dressed in a sexually provocative manner (as opposed to merely pretty)
3. Showing some leg and/or cleavage
4. Not in any apparent rush
5. Get my blood tingling in a “oh man I’d love to fuck her” compatibility

My third set hits well. She’s a half English / half Indonesian ambling along Neal Street wearing a tight revealing black top and tight black leggings. Her large-ish breasts are nearly falling out of it. This is a girl who left the house at least intuitively wishing to be noticed by men. She’s also wearing beige suede boots.

Krauser: Hi. I just have to ask. What’s with the silly boots?
HB Cleavage: *smiles, taken aback*
Krauser: Yeah, I was just back there when I noticed you ambling along – you had a very feminine manner, by the way, I like that – and you caught my eye. Then I noticed those boots!

She hooks easy and quickly takes up the conversation. Utilising the ten-minute-rule (in daygame if she’s still there after ten minutes she’s ready to be bounced) I insta-date her in a quaint cafe nearby. I start to turn on the sexual projection and eye contact, tell her to wear her hair down, light kino and so on. These are thrown into a conversation that is otherwise mostly rapport and some attraction material. She’s responding well, IOIing plenty and I’m starting to think the SDL is on but she refuses the extraction. I pick up the earlier vibe and further light probing suggests she’s got a legit time constraint. I take the number. Seems solid but she’s only in the UK another 2 weeks.

I never do find Shammers again because while I’m walking up from Trafalgar Square to find him a 23-year old Korean tourist walks past and I have my next insta-date. She had lovely short-shorts, tight top and the general manner that screams “please open me, I’m receptive”. She wasn’t especially hot – perhaps a 6 on the universally agreed scale – but she got the blood a-tingling. I opened asking about her shoes which were ludicrously bright Converse trainers. I bounced her to a grassy knoll then to a pub. She was IOIing but refused the extraction. She’s here for five days and like most Asian tourists has a full schedule. Travelling alone, so I might be able to drag her out. A long shot.

I make my way to Covent Garden again and there’s a few forgettable sets. I open a black girl and she’s initially frosty but starts to get into it. As I’m gearing up to bounce, her friend arrives to cockblock. No big deal, the vibe wasn’t strong. I immediately stop a lovely Asian in a summer dress and she hooks nicely but claims a boyfriend on the number close (she’s on the way to work, so I don’t try the bounce). There’s also a tired dancer that chats for a little while.

The asian

Outside the station I see Clouseau, one of the two French PUAs recently arrived on these fair shores (I made up that name). We are only chatting a couple of minutes when HB10 Lithuanian strolls by. Long legs, hot pants, sunglasses. Absolute stunner. I give chase. My opener is shit. As I’m closing in on her I can’t think of anything about her that interest me except that she’s super hot. So I insult her bag. Surprisingly she likes it and after a tough sixty-second plough she’s laughing and into it. I bounce her to the Starbucks across the road for a takeout and then we sit outside chatting for nearly an hour. She’s real nice but seems to be going through some sort of angst over what to do with her life – can’t be older than about 23. I try to walk the line so that I build rapport without being an emotional tampon. She’s a waitress and soon starting work so I again have to take the number rather than go for the SDL. While she’s asking me about my hobbies I dust off the old NLP boxing routine that has her panting. Don’t have a photo but she’s very similar to this chick and equally hot….

Imagine this with black hair

As I walk her back down Neal Street who should I see but Soup Man. He’s coming the other way and I’m ready for the AMOG attempt but he doesn’t try it. As he sees me and notices the super hot girl with me she happens to grab my arm and hang on to it. She’s actually demonstrating how some bolshy customer grabbed her in the story she’s telling, but to any onlooker it looks like she’s my girl trying to cop a cheap feel of my muscles. Soup Man is crestfallen.

Leaving this chick at her work, I walk along the piazza and catch sight of a hot Bengal-looker with dyed red hair sitting on the kerb. My blood is a-tingling and she’s showing cleavage and thigh. I immediately walk directly up to her (she sees me coming five seconds away) and open:

Krauser: C’mon, I have to know about the hair. It’s brilliant.

Strong strong hook and we chat about twenty minutes. She’s a stylist and her next client calls, some rock star she says, so I get her number and she practically thrusts it onto me. My state is so good that I can do no wrong. Finally I decide I have to pop by the office, so I just do a couple of light sets on the way. I give a few compliments, get decent responses but my intent is gone now. Great day and nice to be back on form. Photos to follow if the number turn out solid.

Pole Dancer Day 2

June 9, 2010

I’m out with Suave on Oxford Street bothering women as usual. A cute little asian walks past and she has a beautiful graceful walk. I give chase and open:

Krauser: Hi. Do you mind if I give you a compliment. I was just over there with my friend when you caught my eye. You walk like a dancer. It’s so graceful.
HB Dancer: teehee etc.

It’s only a five minute set because she’s about to get the bus home and is hungry. Turns out English is actually her native language. I get the Facebook and head on to the next set. I assume the set won’t go anywhere because it was so rushed. She accepts the Facebook add and when I go through her pictures I become impressed. She’s a pole dancer and has an absolutely perfect body – proper slim curvy aerobics shape. None of that diet skinny bullshit. I throw out a feeler to see if she bites and we have the following FB mail exchange.

oh yesssssss

20 May at 23:09 Me: Have you tried the English (Pirate) language selection at the bottom of the page yet? ridiculous….  [light and non-sexual, but more involving than “hi, whassup”. Might get her to look at my profile. Remember I thought this was an extremely uninvested set]
23 May at 22:59 Her: Perhaps I just have a boring system, mine says English (US). What happens with the Pirate version? All your friends are listed as ‘matey’ (Aaaarrrr)?
25 May at 21:05 Me: Precisely. It had me laughing for ages. [no hurry to reply. I’m a guy with stuff to do]
I had a look at your photos. You never mentioned you were a pole dancer. That’s surprising, cos you look so innocent, but also kinda cool. [tease and mild SOI, trying to bait her]
28 May at 19:25 Her: Nope, I checked, and I still only have the default English settings.
I find it very difficult to slip ‘Yes, I’m a poledancer’ into random conversations on the street. And you are…something in the financial sector as well a practitioner of ju-jitsu and kickboxing? [cool, she checked me out – there’s some attraction]
30 May at 21:42 Me: Sort of. I love fighting.  [terse and manly]
How’s your week looking. I wanna take you out. Wednesday good? [go direct, she’s either into me or she’s not but this thread could run out of steam quickly]
31 May at 19:07 Her: That was extremely direct. So, I too will be direct. [bang! directness is a DHV in itself – I’ve pushed her off the fence] Wednesday is in fact very bad, as I have two exams this week. However, on the premise that:
1) You are not a serial killer;
2) ‘Taking out’ is not construed as a ‘date’;
3) You are free next week;
I would suggest next Monday. Unfortunately I have class on Tuesdays-Thursdays. [qualifying me hard and baiting me for the chump with her as the prize. A strong frame]
01 June at 16:35
1) innocent till proven guilty
2) no expectations
3) yes
Monday it is. Text me your number and I’ll give you details nearer the time. 07x xxxx xxxx. Let’s plan for about 6pm in the West End. [Didn’t want to challenge her frame too hard until I see her in person, just reframe enough to avoid being a chump and then regain the lead]
05 June at 20:14 Her: Would it be possible to push it up to 5pm? Or will you not be able to get off from work in time? In which case a late drink around 10pm? I was supposed to be free all night but unfortunately have to [blah blah]. Otherwise we could also reschedule for 6pm next Monday? [more beta bait but she’s also being polite and might have a legit clash]

A minute after this last message, the text game begins:

05 June 8:16pm Her: Hi, I’m available on this number from 2pm-2am, which is when I’m awake. Please don’t ever call before noon unless it’s a matter of life & death 🙂 * HB Dancer  [Strong frame, beta bait]
06 June 11:44am Me: Definitely not before noon….  [Note the time. I had to show some balls but not too rude]
06 June 2:03pm Her: That’s strike one  [50/50 if this is bitchy or playful. On meeting her it turned out to be the latter]
06 June 9:55pm Me: 10pm-12 is good for me. Let’s go to [blues bar]. Meet [location] 10pm
06 June 10:43pm Her: Ok, I finish at 9:30pm at [place], so I might be slightly late, but will let you know if I am delayed.

That night is a friends birthday in Soho House and also a different friend DJing just off Oxford Street. She calls just before 10pm to say she’s running a bit late and then I eventually meet her near the station. I find out quite quickly that the bitchy frame in her texts is just soft irony and she’s actually really chatty and friendly. That’s a good thing. I take her into the club and I get DHVed off Jambone and his girl then we sit around a table chatting.

Lately I’ve been practising rapport and vibing so much that I’ve neglect some of the more classic game tactics, so I pay more attention to my friends than usual (i.e. not abandoning the guys for some new girl) and also tease and neg her quite hard. I judged her character right because she responds well and starts qualifying herself. As the music gets loud I bounce her to my friend’s birthday drinks. We get there just in time to catch Burto and his Spaniard on the way out so I get DHVed there (guy with high value girl says nice things about me) and move into rapport with HB Dancer. After a drink I take her back to the club for dancing.

She’s a sensual mover and really shakes the arse well. I respond by more or less ignoring her, letting her dance next to me but focusing all my attention on my friends and just having fun. I figure she’s used to guys trying to dry hump her. Then I pull Jambone off the dancefloor and we prop up the bar talking. Before long she comes to join us and as it gets towards 2am I put her on her bus home. Finally I start some kino – light touching, push aways and end on a boobie-to-boobie hug. I’m acting like she’s finally started to win me over. I do the usual “send me a message when you’re home so I know you’re ok” which results in:

08 June 2:16am Her: I am un-murdered and home and had a very enjoyable evening. Thank you 🙂
08 June 2:19am Me: Ok thanks, I’ll recall the helicopter. Sleep well 😉
08 June 2:19am Her: Total over reaction, I can fend for myself. I disarm them with my charm 😛 Goodnight!

I’m feeling pretty chuffed. Unliked my usual sets, where text / FB game is just logistics, this one relied on it for getting the attraction high enough to secure the date. I then changed things up a little based on my intuition about her character and it worked. I leave it a day and then:

It would be wrong not to

2:04pm Me: You really wake up so late? [reopening but more challenging than “hi”]
2:04pm Her: 3 mins ago exactly
2:06pm Me: Shameful! I’ve had cats who sleep less than you do. [immediately playful judger, give her a thread to expand]
2:07pm Her: Can I counter by stating that my dogs sleep the same amount? [playing along]
2:08pm Me: HB Dancer = doglike 😀  [judging, teasing]
2:08pm Her: As in cute and good natured. Minus the fur. [qualifying]
2:09pm Me: Ok, I’ll buy that. [Reward. She’s winning me over]
2:13pm Her: And let us not forget the bitchy aspect 😛 [qualifying, showing me she’s fun]
2:15pm Me: How about the acceptance of and loyalty to her master?  [screening frame, but playful]
2:16pm Her: I bow to no man. Or woman. Or ideology for that matter. [she’s referring to something I told her on the date – a great sign]
2:17pm Me: Oh man, you’re gonna be trouble…..  [Future projecting and validating her playfulness]
2:18pm Her: Gonna be is a future prospect. I prefer to work in the present tense. [playing along]
2:20pm Me: Trouble AND a would-be philosopher. Is there any limit to your talents? 😛  [patronising her, positioning myself above]
2:21pm Her: One strives for perfection after all 😛 [accepting it]
2:22pm Me: Aye  [one word game – putting onus on her]
2:23pm Her: But one can settle for marvellous  [More qualifying, stretching out thread]
2:25pm Me: Steady on :O ! I’m going to a birthday party on Saturday night. Wanna come with?  [Finally, I have to get to the point. continue the frame of me as having a full social life]
2:25pm Her: I’m going to the circus on Sat, but thanks for the invite 🙂  [Refused! At least she justifies it]
2:27pm Me: Ok. Which days are you usually free at a normal time? Like, from 7 or 8pm. [Reframe to put onus on her as being weird and me requiring her to meet my standards – of meeting at a normal time]
2:29pm Her: Haha, normally Mondays. Unless [constraint]. Or Fridays generally.  [Good. This is implicitly accepting a Day 3]
2:31pm Me: Hmmm. Would you be offended if I show up ever-so-slightly drunk? A pint or two “to the good” as it were.  [Don’t jump directly to the ask. Imply I’m gonna do my own things and am just seeing if I can fit her in to my schedule]
2:33pm Her: Are you habitually minorly drunk on Mondays? That’s a very weird day to select. Short answer: no. But I will go home if you start doing the macarena.  [Accepted the Day 3 for Monday but I actually prefer Friday]
2:36pm Me: Actually I was thinking Friday – I’ve got a work drink 5 till 7 near [City]
2:41pm Her: Friday’s the World Cup. I’ll be getting lessons on soccer from flat mates to better appreciate [her team]’s efforts.  [Another legit excuse. I made an error in not reading her prior text as discounting Friday]
2:47pm Me: Oh, I see. [her team] will be eliminated by Monday, so we’ll go out then and drown your sorrows. 7pm good? [Tease to deflect that I’m falling into her frame, imply drinking, assume the sale]
2:49pm Her: I would like to see the triumph of hope over experience, but Monday looks good at present. Let me know details closer to the time then.
2:54pm Me: Ok

There’s a few things notable about the exchange. First, the rapidity of responses over the course of an hour. I was sitting in a cafe relaxing over coffee whereas she’s just gotten out of bed and was presumably checking her phone every minute or so as she got ready for her day. Second, the whole first half of the exchange was me teasingly qualifying her. Third, I was fighting to avoid a DLV in the second half because dragging it on without securing the date looks bad, but giving up after a refusal equally so. My attempt was to qualify her as I did it and assume the eventual sale. I think it worked. Not sure.

Note also that I have not edited her messages to make them grammatically correct. She really does write in full sentences with correct spelling. More than any other thing this is making me want to tap that ass. I love a girl who writes properly.

Anyway, she sent me a link to her doing a pole dance demo and it has absolutely confirmed my intention to bang her. Hard.

Another Angry Unemployed Irishman

June 7, 2010

I hate the fucking Irish.

Ok, perhaps I should qualify that statement. I hate the following things about Irish culture: the victim complex, the plastic pubs, the pointless sectarianism, the retarded social values in the South, leprechauns, the whoring out of their thugs to any terrorist with a grudge against the English, the continuous murder of bystanders, the total incompetence, and lastly the way they spent 1,000 years attacking England and then the moment we kicked their arse they go into a perpetual hard-done-by mode.

Rant over. For the 90% of Irish who don’t embody these traits – I don’t hate you.

The context is this. I was out with Wisdom yesterday when he relayed a story. He was in set demoing for a student (day game) when some skinny Irish guy comes over and starts AMOGing him, saying right to the girl “there’s another five guys down there who’ll hit on you too.” This is almost unheard of in daygame. It’s literally never happened to me or anyone I know before this. Wisdom AMOGs back but the set is lost. Like the old adage “never fight a pig – you both end up covered in shit but the pig likes it” you can’t really win an AMOG battle in a freshly opened set. It totally sours the mood of a daytime pick up.

Wisdom was left thinking WTF? I have been ruminating on a new approach to dealing with AMOGs which basically comes down to the following:

1. Establish they really are AMOGing
2. Threaten violence.

That probably requires further explanation. AMOGing is mis-named because its a beta activity. Alphas like to have honest open competition under the harsh glare of sunlight and resulting in a decisive win-loss. Betas shrink from all decisive outcomes, fearful of losing, and thus conduct their conflicts in the passive-aggressive grey area. It’s the same reason they try to sneak under the radar when hitting on girls, why they hate sport, and I suppose why they like Apple products. AMOGing is essentially insulting the other guy within a grey area so it doesn’t quite sound like an insult and you can backtrack if called out: “Hey pal, I wasn’t causing offence. Can’t you take a joke?”

Defensive AMOGing is worth knowing to defend a set that you want to keep. Outright displays of violence don’t go down well with many girls, and can get you in trouble with the law. But allow me to propose an alternative:

Step 1 – Ascertain it’s an actual AMOGing
If you are in set in day time and a guy goes out of his way to approach you to deliver a put down, then it’s almost certain he’s AMOGing. If your gut feels it, it probably is. However, if you’re in a charitable mood and also don’t want to immediately lose the set by appearing unreasonable you may want to do a normal AMOG verbal response (people unaware of social dynamics usually don’t read the subtext well – something I’ve noticed in streetfights when the onlooking pussies completely miss the way an aggressor was trying to line you up before you decked him so because you hit first they think you’re the unreasonable one). If he doesn’t soften, and instead continues, you know for sure you’ve got yourself an AMOG rather than a merely uncalibrated interloper.

Step 2 – Bring him out of the grey area
This is essentially the “Reardon gambit“. AMOGing can only exist when you both dance nimbly in the shadows of passive-aggression. Just call the guy out.

AMOG: Haha. Yeah, where are you going in those shorts – 1970?
Krauser: Come again?
AMOG: The shorts, pal. My old man had a pair when he used to go to Blackpool pier
Krauser: Did you just insult me?
AMOG: Haha, nah man, why are you so touchy?
Krauser: No really. That sounded like an insult. You just took the piss out of my shorts. Why did you do that?
AMOG: Yeah, well they are shit. Haha.
Krauser: Woah. Hold up. You just insulted me again, after I told you I don’t like it.
Krauser: * to girl * Hang on a minute.
Krauser: * to AMOG * Who the fuck do you think you are. I don’t know you from a fucking vagrant in the street and you just come over to two people having a conversation and start fucking insulting them.

Step 3 – Clearly imply violence
Make it clear that this is no longer a conversation. He is an unwelcome aggressor and he has to fuck off. Personally I’d suggest you don’t actually verbalise the “…or I’ll lamp you” because that invites him to say “go on then” and thus witnesses consider you the aggressor. Better to give him the death stare, push him back, and tell him to get fucked. But not raising your voice or losing control.

So this is what I’ve been thinking lately, without ever expecting to need it. Then I’m out with Jambone this afternoon and we see exactly the same Irish guy (he’s often in Covent Garden – I knew who Wisdom meant immediately upon hearing the story). We are propping up a lampost outside M&S and this guy tries opening a girl right in front of us. She doesn’t stop. It’s a blowout but nothing unusual for daygame. As the guy turns back away from her he notices us watching him. We aren’t sniggering or anything, just a vaguely interested gaze at something happening right in front of us. The guy clearly has mad-Irish-inferiority issues because he comes up to us and this happens [paraphrasing]:

Paddie: * challenging but not aggressive tone* I saw you boys eyeballing that. Was that good enough for ya?
Jambone: * returning the tone * We saw you following that girl, your tongue hanging out your mouth.
Paddie: * English accent immediately brings out 400 years of inferiority complex * Well you’re about to see an Irish guy knock an English guy’s head off.  [yes, he was that quick to unprovoked aggression]
Jambone: * doesn’t move from his slouch or bat an eyelid * Just try it
Paddie: I fucking will you know
Jambone: I’ll give you £100 if you try.
Paddie: I fucking will. I’ve got a bunch of 50 provo boyos round the corner in the pub who’ll back me up.
Jambone: * laughs * Krauser, I’ve never met an Irishman who didn’t claim to have fifty provos in the pub to back him up * laughs *
Paddie: * to me, seeking agreement * He’s a laugh a minute this guy. What a dick.
Krauser: I’m his friend. Not yours.

This goes on a little more and then a car nearly drives in to him so he has to cross the road away from us. He stands seething for a while as Jambone heckles him. He approaches another girl who blows him out then he walks off in the huff. We debrief the event and it dawns on us just how weird it was. I can only imagine his pride was so sore at having us see him get blown out (and he’s seen me approaching, so perhaps he feels competitive pride) that if flicked the mad-Irishman trigger. Seeing as I share my pitch with him, I suspect he’ll try to AMOG me again when I’m out solo because it was Jambone who put up 90% of the resistance this time round so he doesn’t know I’m itching to try out my new violence-based anti-AMOG. I’ll try to get it on video.

My date shows up (Guyana girl) and I head off. While in Habitat buying a frying pan I actually see the Irish guy through the shop window, gaming a 40 yr old woman on the street outside. Hmmmmmm.

Before all this happened, I did three sets. First one I closed – see video. Second was interrupted in less than two minutes by a cockblock, and the third was a nice two set sitting drinking Pimms that hooked well but couldn’t close.

UPDATE: A front view

Georgian in short shorts

June 6, 2010

I’ve got another one-itis, this time it’s the Georgian dancer I opened waaaay back. The set went great but she put up a convincing boyfriend defense, telling me she met the guy five years earlier and he’s the only guy to put his he-rocket into her she-pocket (while teasingly complaining how Georgian girls really miss out on the excitement of sex with different guys because they are so traditional). She took my card with my number but never called and I just wrote it off. Beautiful girl, but nothing doing.

I’m out today with Suave and Wisdom for a bootcamp. The students go back at the end of the daygame session to get changed for nightgame. I see the dancer walk past again, but this time it’s crazy-hot summer weather and she’s wearing crazy-hot short shorts. Oh damn, I love dancers legs. Nice thick thighs. I give chase and call her name. She turns around. I stare, smirk and then she recognises me.

I wasn’t mic’d up but the conversation was great and she was entrancing me with those wide brown eyes (and tits, pressed up against a too-tight shirt). Should I describe it, or would you rather watch the video? Okay then. Keep a note of how much pussy tingling goes on.

And yeah, my shorts are cool too.

BONUS POINTS: Can you guess the music? Both were from Japanese arcade games. The credits from one with a big peripheral. The main music from Sega.

A cute little Muslim

June 6, 2010

I’m out with Suave and Subzero on a Sunday afternoon in town. The sets are going fine and we’re having fun. We decide to walk into HMV for some shop game. Browsing through the DVD rack I spot a cute petite HB7 Arab. She’s wearing a daft flat cap, so that gives me my opener.

Krauser: Hi. I just noticed you while I was looking at DVDs. I had to come over and tell you I love your style.
HB Arab: *beaming smile* thank you
Krauser: Except the silly hat. It looks like something my grandad wore to the greyhound racing.
HB Arab: *gasp. laughs*

It’s an easy hook and she’s so demure and maidenly. Muslim too, so doubly fun to think of a possible deflowering. We chat about five minutes when her big fat friend comes over. I immediately include her and she’s on my side quickly and is actually a pleasant girl too. There’s about ten minutes in all and then I take the Facebook. We’d already figured out she was going back to Libya in a day or two and I didn’t fancy my chances of extracting her with the bodyguard around.

I assume the set is finished, but she adds me to Facebook and I decide to give things a try.

Krauser – 19 May at 00:13
HB. I just had a quick look through your photos. Is that really you? They look like you cut them out of a fashion magazine.
HB Arab – 19 May at 10:09
Hiiiiiiiiii, those r not my pics hehehe
Krauser – 19 May at 13:03
That’s very naughty. And I thought you were such a nice girl….
HB Arab – 19 May at 13:27
lol I am nice girl, u think putting other pics then mine would be naughty of me?
Krauser – 19 May at 15:00
HB Arab – 19 May at 15:18
but am not
Krauser – 19 May at 16:28
haha ok I’ll believe you this time. So can you upload a real picture so I feel like I’m talking to the real HB Arab? maybe with your old-man flat cap from the greyhound racing…..

The next day I check in to FB and almost immediately a chat window pops up. Here it is in full tedious detail:

11:35 Her: hi  ;);)
11:37 Me: hey!
11:38 Her: how r u? hope still remember me :D:D
11:39 Me: Ha ha, I remember. You’re the pretty girl with the silly hat
11:39 Her: hahahaha  u think that was a silly hat   lool
11:39 Me: Yeah, but it looked cute on you
11:40 Her: thanx  i just liked that hat
11:40 Me: It’s a bank holiday today, so no work!
11:40 Her: wow lucky u
11:41 Me: Gonna feed the ducks in Hamstead Heath with some friends
11:41 Her: enjoy   am stuck at work  :(:(
11:41 Me: boo
11:41 Her: :P:P
11:41 Me: So you’re back in [arab town] now?
11:42 Her: Its [arab town] not [other arab town]
11:42 Me: Oops  They are nearby tight?
11:42 Her: [town] is in Asia  but [town] in north Africa
11:42 Me: [other town]?
11:42 Her: near to tunis, Egypt, moroco & Algeria
11:43 Me: Yeah, my bad. [local joke]. I know.
11:43 Her: yep exactly  hehehe
11:43 Me: When are you next coming to London?
11:44 Her: dont know maybe in july or August  but not sure
11:44 Me: It’ll be good weather then. I’ll show you around. If you promise not to be naughty and cause trouble
11:45 Her: lol hahaha   am a good girl    am not a trouble girl but sometimes ppl get me involved  ;);)
11:46 Me: I’ll have to watch you carefully then…..
11:46 Her: hahaha
11:46 Me: I have to jump in the shower now. I’m leaving at 12.
11:46 Her: ok
11:46 Me: later
11:46 Her: talk to u soon
11:47 Me: one last thing  put up a real picture!
11:47 Her: yes  hope so

Looking good. She “likes” a few posts on my wall and then posts herself. I post back onto hers. Then next time she’s online the same as me I reopen. I forgot to save the full chat but it starts with her saying she’s had a great week, then I tell her to send me a photo. She does, of her in London the day before we met where she’s not smiling. I tease that she looks miserable and she should send one from right after we met, cos she’ll have a huge grin then. The rest is as follows:

Likes anal. Probably.

23:56 Her: cuz havent met u
23:56 Me: Have you got one of your smiling/  ?
23:56 Her: let me check
23:58 Me: cool
00:01 Her: here i got 2
00:02 Me: waiting…..
00:03 Her: soon   did u get it
00:03 Me: still waiting…..
00:05 Her: got them
00:06 Me: Not yet. Are they worth the wait?
00:06 Her: lol  i dont know
00:06 Me: Or are you pulling a stupid face and sticking your tongue out?
00:07 Her: its my internet to slow
00:07 Me: Anyway, how’s your week been?
00:07 Her: so great
00:07 Me how so?
00:08 Her:
had dinner with friends    in chinese resturant  :D:D
00:09 Me: nice. Mixed vegetables fried noodle. That’s my favourite
00:10 Her: its was nice   is the weather there getting better
00:12 Me: It’s burning hot here in London. My head looks like a tomato
00:12 Her: loool  really  its burning in here too
00:12 Me: I bought an old man’s flat cap similar to yours. We can wear them when we go to greyhound racing together. We’ll be like a cute old-age couple
00:13 Her: wow that will be coool. who knows maybe in july
00:13 Me: Hopefully not between 1st and 11th
00:13 Her: no maybe at the end
00:14 Me: Cool.  What else will you wear at the dog racing. Think carefully – we have to look REALLY old, or they might not let us in.  Like, 60 years old
00:14 Her: hahahha.  oh my god.  i guess u got my pic
00:15 Me: First one, in your room. No smile.
00:16 Her: how comes
00:18 Her: u did not like it
00:18 Me: Oh, it’s a nice photo. but I asked for one where you’re smiling. I remember you had a cute shy smile
00:19 Her: oh havent got much pics smiling in them.  but will tag one and send it to u.  soon.  tomorrow
00:19 Me: Too cool to smile?
00:19 Her: yeah
00:20 Me: hahaha. Yeah, send me one.
00:20 Her: :P:P.  but not today tomorrow i will
00:20 Me: What’s your favourite photo on my FB?
00:20 Her: u have alot of nice pics.  i was wondering why u r not putting them
00:21 Me: putting where?
00:21 Her: on fb
00:22 Me:
***** ERROR *******
***** GIRL LOGIC ******
***** MAKES NO SENSE ******
00:22 Her: i mean the profile pic.  hahahaha
00:22 Me: ah, I don’t change that much.  I like the squirrel
00:23 Her: but u got much nice ones
00:23 Me: Thank you. A favourite?
00:24 Her: there is one.  u r in an old city.  but u r too far away
00:25 Me: hmmmmmmmmmm, not sure which. Which album?
00:26 Her: tag one of th elephant pics
00:28 Me: I tagged one with you.  just now. Hope you like it
00:30 Her: with me
00:30 Me: not sure what you meant
00:30 Her: thats anice one.  its a nice pic. there is in an album called
00:31 Me: called what?
00:31 Her: beautiful long weekend.  i like the pic u r sitting in it
00:32 Me: Ah, Seville!  Beautiful city. I went with my ex-girlfriend
00:33 Her: yep.  thats cool
00:33 Me: Didn’t put her in them 😛
00:33 Her: but no pics of her.  hahaha. i love the pics
00:34 Me: thanks
00:35 Her: now am going off to sleep. had enough for today
00:35 Me: good night
00:35 Her: and i got to wake up early. good nite
00:35 Me: 😛
00:35 Her: and sweet dreams
00:35 Me: you too
00:36 Her: ;0  😉 😉

And probably oral too

So what do you reckon the odds are of her coming to visit and there being one less virgin for the suicide bombers to claim in Allah-land?

UPDATE: Confirmed both the anal and oral. Heh!