Balls Deep: Chapter Four, Not All Nigerians Scam (1 of 3)

March 17, 2015

My feet ached.

The inner lining of my brown biker boots had ripped so a little fold of material was pressing against my ankle and the left heel was asymmetrically worn away from many weeks pounding the streets. The toes of my sock were wet from stepping on a loose paving slab that splashed water as it wobbled underfoot. These are the trivial annoyances of winter daygame—the hobby of prowling busy shopping streets to pick up beautiful women gets tougher when the weather turns. I’d been out four days straight through wind, rain, and snow. It was beginning to wear on me.

Covent Garden was wet and dreary that day. I had an enthusiastic young student in tow. He was a young, nerdy, socially awkward kind of guy with an unkempt shock of black hair combed unconvincingly over a thinning crown. The kind of guy you’d expect gets laid about once a year maximum. He was upbeat and anxious to learn, so I was taking him around for free. I wasn’t really qualified to teach but I’d opened about one thousand girls and was at least getting some dates, so LSS guys even less successful than me wanted to hang out.

I pulled up the collar of my fur-lined flight jacket and pulled my woolly hat down to my eyebrows, then jammed my numbing hands deep into my pockets. It was December 30, 2009. A cold, damp typical wintery London day, New Year just around the corner. Christmas decorations cluttered store windows, long streams of golden tinsel framing displays of snowmen and reindeer. As dusk approached, the fairy lights adorning lampposts and street signs began twinkling in the reddening sky. Everywhere I turned people were milling, jostling, and scurrying for that last sale item. Some rushed purposefully to and from their destinations as others strolled along dreamily, shopping the stores with their eyes, or watching as the street performers put on a show for their pleasure and their tips. Lovers strolled hand-in-hand and looked at the sights. Japanese tourists with comically oversized cameras took pictures of everything.

This seasonal fauna of street life was a blur to me. My attention was on the fold of cotton pressing awkwardly against my ankle, and whether I should find a seat to take my boots off and fix it. Little things loom large when daygaming due to the high pressure of the activity.

Covent Garden in winter

Covent Garden in winter

I was sold on daygame now. I loved that there was an art to meeting a girl in a public place and getting her number, perhaps taking her for a coffee there and then. It’s the first step in getting laid. For most men it’s a strange, intimidating but fantastically liberating experience—just imagine walking around the streets scanning for pretty girls and then, when you see one, you just walk up and make a conversation from nothing. Make her laugh, make her curious, and hopefully fuck her a few days or weeks later. For a guy conditioned that bars, nightclubs, and Internet dating sites are the only places to meet women this is an eye-opening thought.

Any girl. Anywhere. Any time.

I was still somewhat new to the game, having stumbled and mumbled through what was now six months of approaches. I had yet to get laid, but I had gotten some basic competence at drawing girls into conversation and getting numbers. Sometimes the girls would even come on a date. That’s what my student was looking for that day. I was still hurting from my devastating divorce from a woman with whom I’d shared the past nine years. We had dated for six and were married for three before she walked out on me that January. By the time I was trawling these Covent Garden streets at the end of the year she had already remarried.

It was almost a year since the separation, and over six months of Game. I was reflecting on the year, as we are wont to do when New Year approaches. Was I headed in the right direction? I’d initially promised myself a six-month commitment to Game to see if it worked and if I could learn it. So how was it working out?

In the early months of 2009 I allowed myself to wallow in the unfairness of it all. The self-pity that comes from being dumped enveloped me. Outwardly, I was the same guy I had always been, but inside I had been smashed into a million pieces, like a jigsaw box emptied onto the floor. I was glad I’d tried something, lest I allow myself to sink deeper into the pits of despair.

I thought back to the Tony Clink book I’d picked up and then reordered earlier this year. A gaudy red book with cover art of a slick lounge-lizard guy surrounded by beautiful women. It promised the secret system to meet and attract women, sleeping with different girls every week. So, although married and in love at the time, I read it from idle curiosity, and it had stung. It’s like the author knew my whole life. I replayed memories of all the girls I’d dated, laid, or failed with and every single time I could relate it to his system. I believed him. Then I loaned the book to a friend and forgot about it.

In business I was successful, having always been at the top of my class from the time I was four years old right through my Master’s program. Every single year I came top at everything. Soon London beckoned and a career in investment banking. I was so focused on professional advancement that I never noticed the lack of women around me. I’d just stumble into a relationship and gave it little more thought. Wolf of Wall Street it wasn’t. I wasn’t one of those rare guys who had girls throwing themselves at him an university and thus graduated with a First Class degree in Entitlement.

As my student and I strolled along through the busy streets, talking to a girl here and there, I suddenly heard someone singing flutter in the wind behind me. A sweet, feminine, melodic voice seemed to tinkle like water in a mountain stream. It was so sweet and uplifting. I turned to look and behind me walked a pretty young black girl. She was wearing a set of headphones, singing along with the music. I smiled and turned back to my student, and almost at once wondered what I was doing. I couldn’t ignore this opportunity. Today I was the teacher, but I was still in the game myself, and she looked like someone that I’d really like to get acquainted with on a horizontal and naked basis.

Turning back towards the girl I motioned her to take off the headphones. She gave me a wide-eyed inquisitive look, but obediently took the buds out her ears and returned my smile.

“Did you really just start singing in the street?” I said.

She smiled again and giggled a bit. “Yeah, I like this song.”

Her brown eyes were large and her long hair hung in curls to her shoulders. She looked to be in her early to mid-twenties. I would find out later that she was twenty-six. My eyes scanned up and down. Decent height, full breasts, wide hips, quite possibly a good ass. She’d do.

“People may think you’re crazy,” I challenged. “The only people I see singing to themselves are also carrying a can of Special Brew.”

It was easy. She was in a great mood and she liked me. My student stood off quietly to watch me work, absorbing what he could. I teased a little, and she laughed. I could feel a spark of attraction between us like the crackle of electricity. Something undefinable in her eyes and manner telegraphed, “I want this guy.” Back then, I was actually terrible at picking up on such signals but she was throwing them out so strongly I couldn’t miss.

“I have to get back to my friend there,” I told her, “But let me take your number and we can have a drink sometime.”

That is how I met Rakiya, a young medical student of Nigerian descent but born and bred in South London. She’d be the first black girl I’d ever fucked. Her number stored in my phone I bid her goodbye and strolled away, re-joining my student with a smile on my face. Perhaps this curvy minx would be the one to finally end my year-long dry spell, and allow me to complete the whole daygame process from beginning to end.

Next installment (Chapter Four, part two) in three days. Buy the full Balls Deep book in PDF for £10 here or in paperback for £20 here.

Best Daygame Theory – The Overkill Discussion part 1

March 15, 2015

I’ve spent the past week in Prague whiling away my time in a pleasant manner. I spent a couple of days servicing my rotation, then Tom Torero rolled up with a cameraman and we spent two days filming infields. A couple of near misses with local ladies ensued and by the time rain and cold sapped all the fun out of the streets, I’d also hung out with a US guy who’d learned the ropes in stateside and was now on an extended Euro-Jaunt.

Phew! A busy week!

While rambling on to this US guy about daygame I was once again reminded how deep the skillset is. Imagine sitting Gary Kasparov in a bohemian Prague cafe for a few hours and encouraging him to discuss chess – the gambits, the meta-theory, it’s relationship to real life (he actually wrote a book on that topic), and the way personality expresses itself in your game. I think those few hours would quickly spill over into days.

Now, Kasparov is rather better at his chosen skillset than I am at mine but the point is that daygame is deep. I’m sure nightgame is too, but I don’t know so much about it.

You look very.... oh, fuck it. Coffee break!

You look very…. oh, fuck it. Coffee break!

A fortnight ago I solicited a few intermediate daygamers to watch my instructional program / theoretical exposition Daygame Overkill and to use it as a launchpad to relate their own theoretical insight. My instructions were quite broad, words to the effect of – “Here’s a free login. Watch it, relate it to your own infield experience, and pick up some themes to explore. Don’t worry about being positive – in fact, try to make some real criticisms to encourage debate.”

Over the next week or so I will be posting three different daygamer’s thoughts on Overkill. I hope this will stimulate some discussion and I strongly suggest my readers chip in with their own thoughts in the comments (which I’ll respond to). Some of the themes we’ll hit include:

  • Fine tuning your style to fit women’s dual mating strategy
  • Differences between relying on verbal and non-verbal communication
  • Choosing your targets wisely
  • How my personality reflects itself in set, and how yours reflects itself differently to mine

So without further ado, here is the first essay from Tom Juan – A UK-based guy who has been enthusiastically hitting the streets for a year now…….

I managed to watch all 335 minutes of Daygame Overkill within the space of two days (let’s just say I had a flexible two days, and even found the time after one of my now pissed off never to visit again f-buddies left my flat just last night!) and so the timing of this arriving on to my virtual desk was perfect, needless to say… And with one or two other slack, “take it or leave it” f-buddies on my rotation, I watched Daygame Overkill with much anticipation and with much hunger.

The key question: Has this hunger to learn something I’ve never seen expressed in such a “simplified” manner been sated? All will be revealed…

But I PROMISE I have absolutely tried and tried to cut this review down to a bare minimum, which isn’t easy considering I had 3,000 words of notes to work from (I’m a fast typer since I used to be a Direct Response Copywriter)… And notes that require expansion as the theme Krauser raises in a mostly eloquent manner (beside the occasional ball-scratching and pint-swigging), is simply fascinating. This theme centres around a level of masculinity that us as men in the 15% of Western societies where we are overall exclusively monogamous, have forgotten. Or never dared to even explore fully… And in my one year of feeling lost and confused because I simply can’t and don’t want to settle down (been there, done that), with this product, my justification to be a man is concreted more fully.

The Introduction

Upon starting to watch this, I was impressed by the film-worthy motion graphic titles, introduction clips and feature film clip, even though this was a little “over-egged.” Then on to the introductory Welcome video before the main event… How does a noisy bar presentation fit it into these slick motion graphics??? This seemed completely juxtaposed to the incredible film-like introductions.

That aside, since I’m sure there are downsides we can accept considering Krauser isn’t your “bells and whistles” kind of chap, this product seems to potentially go hand-in-hand with his book or virtual book (can you call it an ebook?), Daygame Mastery, which he later explains is a reference book, not a tips and strategy guide. And that Daygame Overkill is a simplified version of this book, so if you need the theory (nope – just download directly into my brain by watching what you do please), then to refer to the book to delve deep into the who, how, what, why etc.

So is his book Daygame Mastery needed to work alongside Daygame Overkill?

I think the overall suggestion is no, but it depends on whether your the kind of guy who needs to have it laid out in complicated jargon, or if like me, you “get this stuff” on a deep level just by seeing it explained on a simplified level to camera– but again, we all have different learning abilities so although he didn’t say this, it might be a good idea to read it if just watching clips and following his reviews of the infield footage isn’t enough of an explanation.

The most groundbreaking thing about this intro video and product in general, in a nutshell, is the “K” selection vs. “R” selection concept, one which in my acute awareness as a learned daygamer (aware of who else is out there), has never been explained and triggered on a deep down “AHA!” moment in me before. And this is the most eye opening thing about the product because it makes you feel okay about wanting to fuck a lot of women… to put it bluntly.

In a nutshell, Krauser is bringing up the comparison between the nice guy boyfriend daygamer to the lover, sex-based daygamer i.e. R-selected.

Lover / Provider discussion in the Welcome introduction

Lover / Provider discussion in the Welcome introduction

The only other time I’ve seen this explained is in one of Tom Torero’s videos where he delved into the lover vs. provider model, but he just said everything overlapped and there was no black and white, whereas Krauser is the living, breathing example of the black yet still being “kind of normal” at the same time, unlike the R-selection comparable RSD hyper-dudes who don’t ever seem to come down from PUA night game-centric, American (mostly) yes girl fucking heaven… Still valid, but not so relatable.

What Krauser is good for, is being relatable as someone you could meet in a pub and have a beer with, even if he filmed his infields with a hangover…. wtf??? And has a pint in hand in the venue of his talk while going through the Q and A section…

Okay for Beginners?

So it begs the question… is this product any good for beginners??? Or does someone need to be out on the streets getting flaky numbers after being that “nice guy” first before realising that this is the holy grail for him, to stop those boring first dates where you don’t even try and kiss her (wtf?) and get either friend zoned or boyfriend zoned (I don’t know which is worse)… Personally I’d say the latter, as a complete newbie probably won’t get the entirety of this. Unless, he has the sex drive of a tiger on heat, and just wants to take a bit of a short cut that might cut out the pain, yet not allow the excitement of knowing how to overcome the obstacles a newbie nice guy daygamer has… and even knowing this stuff, it will take time becoming socially calibrated enough to get away with a lot of the stuff Krauser is showing.

Even I will have to have my results damaged by changing my ways since I will be trying a new method and although my long term success will be better (including SDL’s or first date fucks which I’ve had only one so far), I might find it less congruent in the beginning and therefore this will affect my results. And for a newbie there is still that initial “wtf do I say to a hot girl?”, let alone “how do I do what Krauser does?” bumps to get over…

So as an ideal goal to hit, it’s great for anyone. But for someone to go out and practice this stuff, it really is an intermediate product.

What if you want a girlfriend? And has he done any market research?

Krauser assumes that having a girlfriend is a bad thing – yes I personally 100% agree but what if there are guys out there who would be happy settling for a hotter, tighter and younger gal to fuck every night and get a pad with, and who knows, have kids with (let’s just say I was one of those guys since I’m a father to two beautiful boys), until of course they get married, they both get bored and they probably get a divorce (got the t-shirt). But aside from that, some relationships work, so what if there are guys genuinely gunning for monogamy?

Therefore I think he should explain that even if you want a girlfriend, it’s still better to be that r-selection boyfriend who is the prize, rather than the nice guy daygamer K-selection boyfriend. Put simply, you can “choose” with this approach, rather than “settle.” Krauser also takes the general stance that most men are K-selected daygamers, rather than r-selected. How does he know this as gospel? Personally I think that a lot of daygamers mix the two, and get it right when they throw in a larger percentage of r-selected, which I have done with the girls I’ve closed way more quickly in the past.

So instead of classifying most men as “K” selected, he should take more of a subjective perspective and see it as fluid ie. most guys will be K-selected in 80% of their sets, but the ones where they are r-selected (20%) will be the ones that net them the quick results i.e. not having to go on 3 dates or more before you get to fuck her. And it’s this fluidity that is missing in his explanation, so instead of being black and white, he should see it as it is – a mixture of the two, and suggest that to improve results and get more success, up the r-selection vibe and diminish the K-selection vibe. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t coach and sees the world through his own eyes (fair enough), but a wider perspective here would have been better in my view.

It’s true as Krauser suggests that most guys are non-sexually-threatening and therefore it doesn’t lead to sex, just nice conversations and numbers, because the women are still getting validation and attention, although she will never text you back, but it’s simply within us naturally as men to be r-selected as well so we can’t help but play on that when we are at our best. Therefore it’s simply about being aware of how to bring our r-selected best version of ourselves, rather than learning something that is acquired like school children – my point being, that the r-selection traits are already within us! It’s just about learning how to draw them out… (try not masturbating for as step one!).

Breaking the model down in the Welcome video

Breaking the model down in the Welcome video

So let’s get to the juicy part – the talk and the infields!

Krauser explains that the infields consist of 10 girls in Zagreb, Croatia within the space of 3 days, October 2014 and within a 1 mile square radius of each other. The first question in combination with alarm bells that hit my brain was – why only over 3 days? Why not commit a week to get the cream of the crop absolute best out of this guy and WITHOUT hangovers… (wtf???) Regardless, he ramps up the theory and makes it really clear about being “social savvy,” “secret society” (I fuck hot girls all the time and I know that you know that I know that you know that) and the powerful sub communicator, rather than “wanna fuck!??” approach and style.

He also brings up his average stats as around 1-in-30, which is twice as good as mine so at least I know I’m watching the right guy to help me improve my results two fold… (everything is crossed). In part 2 of the talk, Krauser points out that everything you do should point to the r-selection. You want her to think you’re the bad boy or asshole… because that box is where all the action happens, even if she’s taken since she knows you won’t give up the game when she fucks you on the side etc – ie. you won’t care about her boyfriend and try and steal her away.

He also talks about risk taking, “birdsong,” that mixing up r and K will really hurt your results, the importance of being the guy who can handle being anonymous, covert sexualisation and how he mixes this in with fractionation. And finally, the cold, hard, fact, that if you go down this path, you are a service provider in “adventure sex.”

Nuff’ said…

Then the talk comes to a penultimate moment where you are about to see evidence of Krauser’s recent lays…. then, Nooooo! Why can’t we see proof of these “younger hotter tighter” girls!?? I’m totally deflated by that… on advice of his mum? (as written in text on the video to cover up these obviously explicit images)… Yet this then raises the question… Shouldn’t his “mum” be telling him not to do any of this full stop? Instead of “just” the part where he proves the type of girl he’s laid for the past year? – and a part which you would have thought would solidify Krauser’s reputation even more firmly, rather than piss you off and make you want to think he’s not so great because of the simple frustration at being denied these, and because you want to be inspired by these pictures so you are driven to succeed with the “younger, hotter, tighter” types yourself…

That’s at least how I felt at this point. So I urge Krauser to include these even if it’s a special VIP bonus that you have to pass some kind of test to access.

Part 3 of his talk expands more about vibe and goes on to explain the 4 pillars of daygame alongside more of an elaboration on covert sexualisation, plus an analogy between poker and daygame – “lose small but win big!” And finally, the importance of compliance tests – I can’t wait to start putting this one into practice! (Again, something I’ve done without realising but never consciously knowing – this will allow for escalation). The Q and A section is where Krauser has a pint in his hand and he starts scratching his balls occasionally… classy! Seriously, leave it alone! And he provides a continued explanation of “vibe”, integral to success in daygame (you can’t be a miserable bastard and succeed).

Infield Overview, in Brief…!

It’s clear that these infields were filmed by his mate Bojangles and were not of a professional quality, not that this is always an obstacle but you want to get the best for what you pay for right? The content however is the most important thing but it seems this was an unplanned affair which turned into a product – sometimes the best way to go, but it would have been nice to know that a little more care and planning (especially as three of the infield analysis’ were filmed from the same pub he filmed the introduction from – just a little budget I’m afraid) had gone into this product you are paying good money for…

With the ten infields, I’ll be honest… I was impressed by six of them, and two of them I thought were at the level of MPUA. Four (maybe three because it’s good to show him ploughing with an out-and-out “no” girl) of them simply shouldn’t have been included, for various reasons. I could go deep into each one and pick it apart bit by bit, but it would make this review double the length, and it would also kill the mystery. However his analysis of himself is great – concise, to the point and elaborates on areas where it’s important to do so.

You also see Krauser calibrate differently to different women and environments. The two where he had results were obvious as to why he got those results, and one in particular would have eaten any novice daygamer alive! Yet she seemed to get a taste of him within a few days of the interaction… He only goes into minute detail where he has diagrams ready within the video on one of the sets, and with the other one that I was blown away by, you can’t see her face which is a real shame, but with the way she was talking, she must have been a 9 or a 10. This makes me think – why didn’t Krauser have a pocket camera as well as the “from a distance” camera perspective?

Underground seduction, yesterday

Underground seduction, yesterday

There are certain things Krauser does that you would never notice unless they were explained, especially in the nuances and sub-communication, and for the sets I was impressed by, I would watch those again once or twice just to ensure I’ve fully soaked up what I need to learn to allow me to progress to the next level by implementing the same. As mentioned earlier, why not hit the streets for at least 1 or 2 weeks, not necessarily going out every day but having a good range of infields to choose from instead of having to include four sets that in my opinion shouldn’t have been included.

He is showing us the kind of “no” or “maybe” girl in one of these, but I actually think he could have done better in three of them (one was just your typical “no” girl), for example not getting the hook point before suggesting a coffee/date/number? Come on Krauser… And not seeming to have built rapport on three of them enough for them to be a solid fuck close, as he does date two of the four but it doesn’t really go further other than a make out.

I’m being super critical because of Krausers reputation and obvious results in the past few years, which obviously I wouldn’t apply to just anyone, but if further explanation is required I would be happy to provide it.


My conclusion is that this product is definitely worth buying especially if like me you are intermediate and so far work hard for the number and then have to work hard for the eventual sex… And because this is groundbreaking in that no one else has so far had the balls to elevate this r-selection theme to this level before, in a way that is relatable, it’s probably the only product out there that will cover both the theory and the practical with conciseness and a few laughs (admittedly Krauser is funny), so I would buy it just on that basis.

The in-fields could have been better – two are bloody amazing and four are really good, but four of them disappointed me… So if those four were replaced with good, solid sets where the results speak for themselves, he could make something already ground breaking “even more” groundbreaking.

The six that were awesome-to-good are worth watching more than once so that you really get the nuances, that won’t ever be explained in a YouTube video and leave you even more clueless as to when you started, so you are basically paying for his own analysis which certainly has value.

The one question remains…. What does Krauser do on a date to secure the sex? Maybe a sequel that covers this is soon on its way to your inbox…. Watch this space

Tom J

Thanks Tom. I hope this stimulates some debate in the comments. Daygame Overkill is on sale and available here. Further discussion pieces inbound soon. You can read more about Tom and watch his infield videos at

Balls Deep: Chapter Three, The Daygame Grind (3 of 3)

March 14, 2015

The grind continued all through September. I took a week off work to spend ten straight days daygaming, ten sets a day minimum. There’d been too much half-assing it, so I wanted massive action. Mental pressure was willing me out because deep in my gut was a sickening dread at being blown out by a procession of girls and perhaps peering into the abyss—that I’d never get good at this. Eugenia had inadvertently knocked my confidence. So every day that week I followed the same ritual, trying to impose the illusion of control onto the scenario.

I’d go to a Caffè Nero and sit on the big brown leather sofa watching the Blueprint Decoded instructional videos on my laptop until my sexual desire/desperation overcame my anxiety/avoidance. For example, the first day:

Monday 14th September. My mind was full of big plans and motivational self-talk. No excuses, I was going to turbocharge my stats on approaches. It didn’t matter how I felt, or if my wings were busy, I’d go solo and just plow through. Received wisdom in the community is you are a noob until you’ve completed one thousand sets. I was at about four hundred and very impatient to improve. Having a full-time job restricted my daygame to weekends so the solution seemed obvious— take time off work.

I’d spend the first hour in Caffè Nero reading. It was still not quite lunch time and Covent Garden was deserted so I didn’t feel like I was descending into avoidance. Finally, I stepped outside and straight into a hot Belgian dancer. I opened weakly, but she stopped and chatted. She was in a hurry to get to the Pineapple Studio for a dance class. I knew something about that stuff so I rambled on about dance, contemporary dance, how my dancer-ex had a careless grace in her movements from all the dancing. Blah, blah, blah. She was not interested, and my attempt to take her number led to an awkward refusal.

It only took a few minutes to shrug that off, and I saw a dusky Mediterranean girl walking through the market. She stopped briefly but either didn’t speak English or was seriously unimpressed. She smiled, waved her hand dismissively, and disappeared without a word. Next was an English girl carrying shopping boxes. She didn’t stop, but smiled, thanked me, and said she was late getting back to work. One more open got me a stop but nothing doing.

Damn. My forehead actually felt tight, such was my poor state. It was like the skin was too tight for the size of my skull. I’ve since learned that is how to recognise when I’m pulling the “creepy face” caused by poor state.

I persevered. On Shaftesbury Avenue just past Forbidden Planet an Asian girl came towards me. She was young, and had just started her first day as an intern in a fashion magazine. We chatted a bit. I was too talky and too outcome dependent, but she didn’t seem to care. She checked the text she was writing as I approached, so I told her off for not paying attention. She giggled and twirled her hair. I made a mental note to self–set arbitrary boundaries and playfully tell a girl off for breaching them. She gave me her number but never replied to my texts.

Another instant date to nowhere

Another instant date to nowhere

I got myself blown out a few more times on Oxford Street before a hot English girl gave me her Facebook. It was weird because the whole time I was thinking she was wanting to get away, and I was struggling and just talking into the space, yet it was five minutes or more in conversation and after getting her Facebook I kept her another few minutes talking about her Geography Uni course she was about to start her second year in. It didn’t go anywhere. It’s common for beginners to think the length of the interaction is directly related to how strong the resulting contact details will be. This isn’t correct. Ultimately, you’re trying to create a particular emotional impression upon the girl while also ticking off checkboxes marking particular signals she needs to give you to show she is available and into you. If you accomplish that in two minutes the number will be stronger than if you dither around chatting for twenty minutes but fail to accomplish it. So while advanced day gamers can quickly take solid numbers (or eject when it’s not forthcoming) it’s common to see beginners getting dragged into over-long conversations that go nowhere.

The last approach of the day was a pleasant failure. I opened a hot Lithuanian in Carnaby Street. She was ambling around aimlessly, which I took as a generalised approach invitation. My forehead was really tight, and I was having a tough time. My vibe was horrible, but I was determined to just press on and grind out the sets. She stopped, smiled, hair twirled, and indulged me for ten minutes. I could almost visualise a hologram of a graph between us showing a downward slant as I continued to lose my confidence throughout the whole thing. I tried to take her number and she was very explicit: “I don’t want to exchange details”. Fair enough, on that performance she really shouldn’t have.

I was getting some good reactions but no success

I was getting some good reactions but no success

The first day of my daygame “vacation” resulted in talking to ten girls, taking one number, and one Facebook. Neither of those two girls replied to me. At the end of each day I’d analyse the work and write a blogpost of my learning points. Self-diagnosis is a crucial skill for seducers because no-one else is going to help you. Quoting my blog, this is what I felt I’d learned:

  • I felt crap but took right action anyway. Good work.
  • Even with shit state I still had good enough fundamentals to get one decent number.
  • I didn’t worry too much opening sets. The poor state was once in-set. Only a few months ago I wouldn’t even open five sets when in good state.
  • While in set I knew consciously all the mistakes I was making, even as I couldn’t stop making them. The biggest one was outcome dependence. I really wanted to get numbers and was worried the girls would walk away and leave me feeling shit.

Lesson learned. Back out tomorrow.

It was also this week that I went to an LSS talk at London Bridge on “game for men over 35” organised by a guy called Curran. It seemed perfectly pitched to me, but I was so lacking in entitlement that I worried I’d be refused entry because at the time I was thirty-four. I actually emailed Curran a few days before to ask if it was okay. As if they’d check my passport and throw me out!

The event was unremarkable, held in an upstairs function room of a pub by Tower Bridge. About thirty older gentleman packed the pews while a short ginger guy called London Playboy gave a talk, then Curran and then a lanky Scotsman with the online pseudonym of Skeletor. His real name is Colin and, though neither of us knew it then, he’d become a major figure in my journey. At the time I was very impressed with his presentation about identity and how to change it. I tried to get pally with him afterwards on his smoke-break but there was a ring of eager older gents two-deep around him that I couldn’t penetrate.

You have to crash the car

March 13, 2015

Almost every guy who gets into Game suffers from the same affliction – he’s too nice. That’s how we’re brought up. Be nice, be courteous, do that right thing. It becomes internalised so that we are the living breathing agents of the Feminine Imperative. Thus an important strategem in your early days of game is to crash the car. You never know how fast you can take the corner until you press the pedal to the metal.

Last night I put that to the test. I was on a first date with a Russian girl I’d met a few days earlier. Heading into the date I was not too enthused. I seemed to remember her as being fairly plain. Then she showed up dressed in her best clobber and I thought “mmmmmm”. Long legs, tight ass, long hair. Then she told me she’s eighteen. I immediately texted Tom: “I might be a bit late. She said she’s 18. It’s worth another hour.”. Then, as I grabbed her throat and threw her against a piss-stained wall she flinched. I put her hand on my dick and her eyes grew wider than a raccoon on cocaine.

“You haven’t touched a dick before, have you?” I politely enquired.

“No” she squeaked.

“Are you a virgin?”

“……. Yes”

Epic win.

So I pulled her hair and rubbed her pussy. Might as well crash the car. So in the spirit of rapid escalation here’s a video of me quite literally crashing a car bobsleigh*

* Note the speed. 48km/h is pretty damn good.

Balls Deep: Chapter Three, The Daygame Grind (2 of 3)

March 11, 2015

She was really pleasant, asking me about the opener, and do I do this much. I was hyper-honest in what I said (though I withheld the sheer scale of my approaching and subsequent failure-rate) saying, “I’m a fairly direct guy. When a man approaches a woman it’s always based on a sexual dynamic. I see no reason to try to sneak in under her radar.” She suggested I could be a little more roundabout, like asking her something normal.

“Yeah, I suppose, but that’s not me. Give me some feedback then. How did you feel when I said that?”

She smiled again. “It was kinda shocking… but cool.”

Ever the motor-mouth, I continued, “It looked simple but there’s a lot going on there. When a man stops a woman he’s got to demonstrate value without scaring her or being creepy. It could’ve sounded really weird, but instead I was just putting the option out there. I wasn’t trying to persuade you to have sex. I put it out there as non-needy. I like sex, but I don’t need it.”

She was called Eugenia. We swapped numbers and after she walked off she called me two minutes later to check that she had the right number stored. She’d briefly mentioned a boyfriend in passing, and that she lived in Covent Garden. She suggested I join her in a bar after I was done in Tiger Tiger nightclub later that evening. We swapped texts the rest of the day:

Me: You’re still thinking about it ;)

Her: A little! Doesn’t happen often in London!

Me: But all the time in Greece? I’m at Tiger Tiger.

Her: Yea, Greece is a little bit different. I’ve just hopped into the bath…

Me: Bath texting? You’re weird

Her: Thanks… multi-tasking? lol. ur in a bar with ur mate and ur texting… that’s equally weird. lol

Me: Make sure you soap yourself properly.

Her: Thanks for the tip, couldn’t have done it without u. lol

Me: I’m helpful like that.

I later realised what was really going on in the subtext of this interaction. Girls have a dual mating strategy that is commonly summarised as “Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks”. This means they pursue both high quality male DNA and also long-term protection and provision. This gives the player his hack, his way in. Girls are hard-coded with the potential to step out on their long-term partners in order to access better DNA. They’ll call it an “indiscretion”, a “mistake” or an “adventure” but the important point is that it happens.

The London Daygame Model is designed entirely around exploiting this quirk of female nature. However, in September 2009 the LDM didn’t yet exist, and I didn’t know about Alpha Fucks Beta Bucks. My proposition to Eugenia had identified me as the consequence-free adventure sex guy and she was showing herself amenable to a secret liaison, with the usual trepidation and cautiousness before proceeding. I just lacked the wherewithal to pull it off. These days I’m all over it, but back then she was one who got away.

I left it for the week and then on Thursday a hot Colombian girl blew me out on an early evening date. I called Eugenia. She picked up right away and after a five minute chat she invited me to Bar Salsa saying her male friend was teaching there but she wasn’t dancing, so why didn’t I join her. I should’ve agreed, but I didn’t have the confidence to enter her territory and hold my frame. I envisioned myself being tooled by more charismatic men who know everyone in the class, being excluded from conversations she had with her friends and other silly social nightmares. It was a mistake. I should’ve just thrown myself into the mix to see what happened.

Next, while out the following day, I restarted, late on while I was in Cargo. The whole time I was trying to follow PUA text game advice, particularly the maxim from Roissy’s blog—send only those texts which you’d be comfortable having appear on a jumbotron in front of the whole world. Meaning, if you aren’t comfortable with your text game being public, it must be weak.

Me: Old Street tonight.

Her: I’m off to the cinema tonight but could meet up later if ur around.

Me: Yeah, that’s a plan. Text me when you’re done.

Her: OK.

Her: *later* Would you like to meet in Covent Garden or is it too late for you?

It was 11pm. I called. I said I’d be finished with my friends at midnight and then I’d call to arrange to go over to her place (she was home). Midnight came, I called and no answer. Twice. I texted, “hey” to no response. Fuck.

Next morning at about 11am I got this:

Her: Hey Nick – I’m so sorry about last night! I fell asleep in front of the tv, didn’t realise how tired I was.

Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, in a speech by Brutus in Act IV, gives a beautiful conception of Alpha Fucks: “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood leads on to fortune…” Whereas the Beta Bucks guy is omnipresent with his provision of attention and resources (she was living with her boyfriend) the girl’s Alpha Fucks needs rise and fall like the tide—and specifically with her monthly ovulation window. She’ll only have a tiny window within which motive, method, and opportunity are aligned to sneak out for adventure sex. As a player you need to be alert for that and take her at the flood.

I’d missed my chance.

We arranged a date for later in the afternoon. I was already in town, sitting in Caffè Nero off Covent Garden reading Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead. I wanted to be in a state where I was self-amused and not anxious for her to come. Every date felt like entering a math exam and I needed to micro-manage my mood. She arrived and we sat outside in the sun. I was leaning back, trying to show “alpha” body language, and we connected instantly. I really liked this girl. She was smart, selfassured, and much prettier than I had first realised. It turned out she was a model and had recently has been posing naked for artists. She was also a dancer. We chatted a lot, and I kept with the authentic honesty.

This was still during the period of my voracious reading of all things seduction and psychological, so I’d also gotten a book on speed-reading people. We discussed that, and Eugenia really lit up when I outlined her character according to the book’s model.

She suggested moving on to St James’ Park so off we went. I initiated touch with upper arm touching, pulling her in with my arm around shoulders, and later around her waist. She pleasantly stayed comfortably close but didn’t respond by putting her arms around me. Again this was something of a calibration error. It’s generally a bad idea for the “secret sex” guy to be touching his girl in public—that’s exposing her to the risk of being caught, and undermining the whole secret society vibe. Except for fleeting moments to spike her energy levels, touching should be restricted to private environments.

I ended up talking about my interest in social dynamics and about the alpha/beta/omega male hierarchy, and sexual chemistry. She was going along with it all. I teased a bit, we joked. It was just very, very pleasant. I felt totally relaxed as if there was no judging between us, and I wasn’t trying to impress.

This experience would be the beginnings of a flavour I’d later successfully add to my pick-ups. I was trying to be as authentic and radically honest as possible, even overtly discussing the nature of malefemale interactions. This is now integrated into my instructional guides as “breaking the fourth wall” in which you discuss the meta-level nature of your own discussion. It’s highly effective in getting girls to quickly agree to sex, but in 2009 I was just fumbling in the dark with little idea it was to become a sophisticated tool. I’d recommend beginners avoid that stuff entirely.

Three hours in and we were sitting outside another cafe when I tried to escalate a bit more and fumbled a key test. While I tried to pull her in, she resisted, put down her sandwich and said, “You know I have a boyfriend?”

Ah, I thought. I’ve read a good answer to this on the Internet! I looked her dead in the eyes and with a low even voice replied, “I don’t care.”

The effect wasn’t what I’d hoped. She took a few bites of her sandwich then told me, “Well I do. It’s his flat I live in. I just don’t want to mislead you.”

I tried to keep a brave face, but I was crushed. I’d thought I was in. This was a beautiful, smart girl, a dancer, and the very first thing I’d said to her was a proposition for sex. And now I was in the friendzone! LJBF’d from the Apocalypse Opener… just let that sink in for a moment.

The reality was I’d had my chance and blown it. She’d asked me to walk with her a minute after my opening proposition, she’d invited me out to a bar, she’d invited me to her home late at night while her boyfriend was out (but fell asleep, at least that wasn’t so much my fault), and then accepted another date. Wannabe-seducers would likely interpret this story as her just being a games-playing cocktease who wanted to tool me for attention and, unfortunately, that’s the conclusion I came to.

But it was wrong. She wanted Alpha Fucks, and I’d come up short. Even at this last test about having a boyfriend, I’d misread it. She didn’t want to mislead me into thinking there’d be a relationship, but I’d misinterpreted her to be refusing sex and putting me in the friendzone. Even at that late point in the interaction if I’d had a stronger sense of entitlement and stronger escalation I could’ve taken control and got her into the bedroom.

Next installment (Chapter three, part three) in three days. Buy the full version of Balls Deep in PDF for £10 here or in paperback for £20 here.

Balls Deep: Chapter Three, The Daygame Grind (1 of 3)

March 8, 2015

It’s natural when recounting stories to focus on the success and compress all the boring bits so you can get to the highlights. That’s what good story-telling is and when out in the pub with your friends it’s a sure way to a fun night. When you’re telling pick-up stories this compression has a few side-effects:

  1. It sounds like you’re having nothing but success;
  2. The listener gets insanely jealous at the thought everyone is getting laid more than him.

People hate the idea that they’re missing a trick. Pretty much every spam email offer that lands in your inbox is based on this psychological quirk, and thus they promise you the ONE EASY STEP to lose weight/ get a bigger dick/make your first million/bang hot chicks. Usually it’s some kind of new underground secret that “they” (the powers-thatbe) don’t want you to know but, for a limited time period, you have a chance to discover the secret.

Funnily enough, they aren’t far from wrong. They are almost right, but for the wrong reasons.

Most men really are missing a trick with women, there really is a “secret system” (or more correctly, some simple principles), and the powers-that-be really don’t want you to know it. The part where the Internet marketers tell a rather fat lie is about it being one easy step. It’s more accurate to call it four years of pain and struggle.

But let’s consider the Availability Fallacy, which states that information which is readily available to you will be given a higher priority and loom larger in your mind than information that is less readily available.

Philosophy departments have been teaching this one in Informal Logic classes for decades. As it relates to pick-up, you’ll tend to over-estimate the victory stories people parade in online forums and marketing letters and under-estimate the failure stories that you may have to dig about for to find. I’ll tell you right now that in the time period covered by this volume of my story, I failed with over two thousand women.

One easy step

One easy step

But unless I hammer the point home, you’ll forget that by the end of this chapter. You’ll focus on the lays and get the impression I was slaying right-and-left with wild abandon. Don’t say I never tried to convey the failure rate! So let me really drive home the point that game, for an average-looking man, is a grind. Failure is the base state and successes are rare blips that get creamed off to form the War Stories anthology.

I was hitting the streets every weekend throughout the summer and autumn of 2009 practicing the same direct opener time after time. On any given day I’d talk to between five and twenty girls, taking a couple of numbers and perhaps having an instant date (taking the girl onto a date immediately from the street interaction, without a break in between). Sometimes I’d get them out on dates later, but they’d go nowhere.

It was frustrating.

By September I hadn’t been laid for eight consecutive months, and I’d only kissed one girl. I’d probably spoken to about four hundred of them and had a dozen or so dates at least. It was always the same pattern— she’d turn up to the date quite keen and then gradually lose interest in direct proportion to how well she got to know me. They’d never seem to be in the correct position for me to go for a kiss and, if I ever tried to bridge the gap, I’d get artfully rebuffed. I pored over forums, books, and instructional videos but couldn’t get anything to work.

To be fair, there was no good instructional material out there for dates. The PUA literature that gave direct practical advice was focused entirely on the initial meeting in the bar or club. Once you had the phone number you were left to flounder with just a few simple highlevel principles. That’s all changed now, and there’s some excellent “date game” material that breaks it down to micro-level actionable advice. But in 2009 it was all shit.

The biggest problem, though, was my ineptitude. I didn’t have any confidence that I knew how to move a girl towards sex (“escalation”) and I didn’t feel attractive. I’d go on dates thinking I still needed to convince girls to like me and my lack of self-belief would seep out. I still had all the broken pieces jangling around inside, the after-effects of divorce. But I was impatient to get laid, so I kept reading, and eventually I stumbled upon a blog post describing the Apocalypse Opener.

The writer swore that this was a fool proof way to get laid. Just do it right with enough girls and one of them will bite. Okay, I’ll try it. I wasn’t lacking dedication. It goes like this:

Me: Hi, I’m Nick.

Her: Hi, I’m Girl A.

Me: What are you up to now?

Her: Blah blah, whatever.

Me: Would you like to come home with me?

The key (apparently) is to look her dead in the eye and hold your fucking ground. She’ll be taken aback and then scrutinise you briefly for any wavering. And then, sometimes, she’ll just agree.

Like most pick-up advice it’s really a part-completed sentence. The instructor says something like, “This really works” when the full sentence is “This really works… if you’re already the sort of guy who gets laid quite easily.” I tried it about twenty times and got nothing. Really, what did I expect? The most memorable of them was with a sexy Greek ballerina I had met walking outside the National Portrait Gallery in Charing Cross.

It was September 5th, 2009, Saturday afternoon and my mother was visiting London so I did the honourable thing and met her for lunch and coffee. I was totally open with her about my new hobby which she was obliquely supportive of. She was rather contemptuous of my ex-wife and viewed me as the aggrieved party. She’s also a psychologist and a realist so she wanted her son to get himself together and meet some girls. After she went off sight-seeing I met up with an Indian guy called Sai who had been winging with me recently to squeeze in an hour’s street work.

The very first girl I stopped was the Greek dancer. She had shoulderlength brown hair, slim muscular legs, and denim shorts. I got in front of her and opened:

“Hi! I had to stop you. You’re gorgeous.”

She smiled, muttered thanks, and I hit her with the ONE EASY STEP: “Would you like to come home with me?”

She smiled and said no. Ok, Plan B. “Um… okay. Is that coffee from Pret?” It was.

“Cool. I normally go to Starbucks myself. I like the coffee of the day though, to be honest, if I’m gonna spend a long time in a cafe I normally do Caffè Nero because they have those lovely distressed leather sofas… blah blah… bullshit.”

One of London’s great daygame beats

One of London’s great daygame beats

She invited me to walk with her, and we headed down to Trafalgar Square.

The next installment (Chapter three, part two) will be posted in three days. For the full Balls Deep in PDF for £10 go here, and for the paperback for £20 go here.

On Writing

March 6, 2015

I’ve been enjoying my writing of late. Now that I’ve had a bit of practice in reaching that final full stop at the end of a long book, I’m starting to review my writing style and apply the same concepts of continuous improvement that characterised my apprenticeships in academia, business, and game. So, I’ve been re-reading Teach Yourself Writing A Novel. It’s a good book. Maybe not worth the $169 some sellers are asking, but then again I bought it in Waterstones ten years ago for £7.99

Writing can’t be taught, only learnt. This is because it’s an art not a craft, and most of the progress is internal – inside your head. Consider this quote from the book:

“A novel comprises two aspects: the craft, that is, the mechanics of it’s construction, and the art, namely the quality of its construction. The mechanics of writing can easily be learnt: a page of diagrams can be memorised, a list digested. Quality, however, is more difficult to learn, for it can’t be reduced to a formula. Quality is the indefinable mystery of writing, the relationship between words which is as much the product of the space between the words as the words themselves. A good writer isn’t just a wordsmith, he is someone who can see quality in the world and can somehow translate that on to the page.”

Inquiring minds have probably already tumbled to my game here. It is tempting to see Game as a blueprint, a Mechano set with precise instructions to assemble. Once a guy has tried and failed with that attitude it’s tempting to now renounce Game as “robotic” or “unrealistic”. Like writing a novel, perfecting your game is about learning the rules and then finding the magic that hides between the spaces.

Living the dream

Living the dream

“Apprentices work under craftspeople so they can study their technique, and novel writing requires an apprenticeship just as much as furniture making. At first you find yourself copying other writers, certainly, this was so in my case: my first novel began as a pastiche of many different styles – from Jane Austen to D H Lawrence to Kurt Vonneguy. In the end it is vital you find your own voice.”

While strolling down a Marbella beach in January, Steve and I were chewing the fat of life. A thought came to me that I repeated aloud: “Steve, there’s a big difference between you and I. You’re a hunter and I’m a craftsman. This difference shows up everywhere in our game, our hobbies, and our approach to business.”

Daygame Mastery is a finely-honed artifact, the literary equivalent of a gothic cathedral (to one reviewer). The book is an expression of the same mindset that produced the London Daygame Model that it outlines – craftmanship. I admonish readers to pursue excellence and to admire any and all masters of their craft be it the engineering of a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport in real life or the lovingly optimised 3D engine that renders it on your Playstation 4. When you can appreciate the sights, sounds and tastes of excellence you can radiate with happy vibe.

“There are three qualities an aspiring writer needs in order to have success: luck, talent and hard work. Writing a novel requires stamina. When I began my first novel, I leapt into it as though I was running a hundred-yard dash. A few weeks passed and I found myself pausing to catch my breath. I had barely finished the first chapter. A novel, I realised is not a dash, but a marathon. A few months passed, and I realised my metaphor was wrong – a marathon, even at walking pace, can be completed in a day. Perhaps the writing of a novel was closer to an extended pregnancy. A few years passed and I realised that again, I had got the wrong image. Bar any mishaps, there is something inevitable about pregnancy. There is no such certainty for a novel. You could work on a novel forever without coming to its end – there is nothing inevitable about completing it.”

Herein lies the Player’s awakening as he progresses from the magic pill “let’s get this handled” stage into the ominous realisation of just how large a job he’s taken on. He’s grabbed the tiger by its tail. Having swallowed the red pill and accepted the fundamental principles of game (that your SMV can be raised, and your value delivery can be improved) you can’t unsee it. You’ve blindly walked into hell and can now do nothing but follow Winston Churchill’s exhortation to keep walking. In the Blueprint Decoded, Tyler likens it to clawing your way to the summit of a mountain and then as you stand atop, you can suddenly see a much bigger mountain over the crest – the real peak had been hidden from sight at ground level. Falling down a mountain is easily accomplished by the simple act of letting go. Climbing up is an active strenuous process. There’s nothing inevitable about it.

“Of the three qualities of luck, talent and hard work, it is the last with which you should make friends. The successful novelist is a stubborn, brave and single-minded individual. Antisocial, perhaps; misunderstood, almost certainly; confused and afraid at times, unsure of their talent, regretful of their mistakes, envious of their peers – a successful novelist may be all of these. But he is also a brave pioneer.”

The book then turns to a discussion of how to get ideas to write about.

“It’s a frustrating fact of the creative life that motivation alone isn’t enough to produce a work of art. We need a spark, a germ, a seed. A novel is not a machine – you can’t build one. A novel is more like a bonfire: you can lay as much firewood as you please, but without a spark you’ll get no heat.”

This is how it feels to grind out the sets on the streets. We know Game requires the homework – the laying of firewood – so you’ll read the instructional books, watch others in set and deconstruct them, hit the gym and so on. You’ll schedule time on the streets to talk to girls and begin internalising the method and sharpening your calibration. But at what point does it “click”? When do your results improve and the lays begin trickling through?

"C'mon, I'm overdue a lay"

“C’mon, I’m overdue a lay”

These things can’t be forced.

“Don’t resist being chosen. I see it a lot with my students: an idea tugs at their sleeve, but they ignore it because they want to write something more noble, or exciting, or intellectual. And generally the results are what you would expect: strained and artificial. But when students recognise the wealth of material they already possess, they can access their greatest asset as writers: their uniqueness.”

Now we’re talking about freedom through structure and of harnessing your creativity rather than forcing yourself into a cookie-cutter daygame robot with the “you look French” and the arm-folding exactly forty-five seconds into the set. While you’re laying the firewood by slavishly implementing the model – the imitation stage comes before assimilation and then innovation – always be alive to the ideas that spring to mind. Don’t ever fear going “off-model” when your muse presents you with an interesting direction to turn the set into a new direction. Just as a novelist has the ability to edit every word later, you always have the ability to open more sets. Take a chance this set. Game to the full extent of your ability and see where it takes you. Even if you get yourself in a tangle, you can reboot any time.

“How will you know if your story is any good? There is no way of telling, short of writing it, but try asking yourself these questions. How excited am I by it? Do I care enough about the issues it deals with to stay with it for six months, a year, two years? Don’t think of the market at this stage. At the beginning, the person you should be thinking of is yourself. Does the story appeal to you? It is you, after all, who will have to write it.”

Game is a hobby for the self-absorbed. You won’t get good by trying to please your fellows, or by trying to impress random people on the internet. You can’t worry about the other pedestrians walking past as you talk to the girl, nor can you really give much care to what the girl thinks. As you begin writing the story of your game it is all about you. You are the hero in your novel.

Later, you’ll need to give more consideration to the other protagonists and bit-part characters. You will have to sensitise yourself to the girls – how they think, what they want, how they react to you. But at no point will you ever subordinate yourself to other people’s interests. At the beginning of the novel, you’re staring at a lot of blank pages. You need to fill them, and that means grabbing your quill and dipping it in the ink. At that early stage the focus is on you – what do you want to write. Write the story you’d like to read.

So, I’m quite enjoying this Teach Yourself Writing A Novel book. I’m hoping it’ll help me refine my craft because that’s one of my sources of flow state.

Hunters will tell you it’s about chasing down the prey in the most efficient manner possible. Nihilists will tell you it’s about extracting the bang on whatever pretext. Both will work and if they appeal to your personality, have at it. When you dip into my work know that you are seeing a different personality express itself – that of a craftsman with an eye for detail and a joy for the process.

That’s the beauty of Game. The blank pages are just a platform upon which to perform your own play. The direction will be an expression of your character. In the beginning you may look to War & Peace or Fight Club but when the apprenticeship is over you’ll have something uniquely your own.

Now try re-reading all the above quotations but replace “writing” with “gaming”.

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