February 8, 2014 43 Comments
Here’s part one of the talk I gave at the London launch for my book. Part two coming soon.
You can buy the book here.
A chronology from divorce to pick up mastery
January 20, 2014 30 Comments
Here’s part two of Bodi’s guest post. Part One is here……
I know a girl called Maritsa. She comes from a small, traditional Slovenian countryside town. All of her family are parochial: she’s the only one to have left and gone to University. Her sister and brother married young and have families. Her twenties were spent pursuing a nebulous “management” career as a means of fulfillment. The bullshit ERASMUS scheme found her travelling abroad and “working” in a manner of speaking in various roles, none of which anybody could quite understand doing what.
Around age 27 she moved to Bratislava and started dating a guy five years older than herself, actually from her hometown, who was a successful investment banker. Three years later they split up. He was a hometown boy and wanted a submissive, domestic wife. She put herself first and considered the maintenance of her emotional state, rather than his, to be the purpose of the relationship.
Now how did Maritsa respond? Let’s say we were Martisa’s wise, elder, red-pill brother and we didn’t care about her wounded pride. What might we counsel?
I would tell her that she has right royally fucked up. I’d tell her that from now on every second counts and she has precious few remaining years of any worthwhile SMV left (and that’s being kind). I’d impose a systematic campaign to find her a husband, doing two dates a week from online dating and MTLRing higher-beta guys who don’t quite realise their potential.
But what did Maritsa do? First off she decided that her job was her problem and did not quite give her “the satisfaction she deserved”. She quit and threw herself into starting up her own business. Almost immediately she was working eighty hour weeks. And her business? An online community based around encouraging women to start up their own businesses! All of her colleagues were post-middle aged hardened career women and all of her customers were lonely single women.
Given nobody can ever go bust pandering to women’s solipsism the business started to do well and soon Maritsa was constantly travelling round Europe. She’d often drop in on friends, usually couples, but be off out at the crack of dawn for a day of “Feminine Yoga”, or she’d spend all evening in Starbucks online, writing training courses telling women how to harness their Special Inbuilt Female Magic Powers to be successful in business. Speaking from her own huge personal experience of generating value that is…
Maritsa has no time in her life for anything but her work.
Maritsa is now thirty two.
Half as a favour to friends, half to try and bag an easy notch, I had a drinks date with Maritsa six months ago. She alienated me within half an hour by spouting world-destroying communist illogical poison then proceeded to patronize me as if I was the one with an IQ thirty points beneath my date, not the other way round. I was goulishly fascinated by her life choices and, slightly cruelly, asked her where she saw herself age 35. Her face took a disturbing, waxy hue and her eyes glazed over as if she was in a religious fervour and she told me she will be happily married, have three children and a husband.
I think Maritsa should learn to count backwards.
Maritsa and I have a set of friends in common: a now married couple. The wife in this couple, now that she has won and has a ring on her finger, has dropped her career like a hot potato, retrained as a Pilates teacher and become brutally Red Pill regarding women, careers and spinsterhood. I tactfully broached the subject of Maritsa and she immediately said:
“Her work is a substitute for something else. Her life is empty. She is scared”.
Impressive insight and honesty. However we all know Maritsa’s dreams are over. She just doesn’t know it yet. She is the victim of her own avoidance and denial. She is the victim of her own little Celibacy Club of one, her ‘Solo Celibacy Club’ and the man she cheated out of a loving wife and the spectres of her children that will never be hate her; hate every, egotistical and moronic pore of her body.
Yes, believe it or not there is a form of Solo Celibacy Club and this is in fact extremely common. Whereas a classic Celibacy Club is where a group of women paying the admission price of their own celibacy in exchange for the celibacy of the other members, the Solo Celibacy Club is where a woman creates a scaffold of denial and avoidance around herself to prevent her having to face up to her main problem, her singleness, and to distract her from her main mission: to get fucked by a high value man (and hopefully retain him).
She isn’t alone: this phenomena is very common when you know how to spot it. Only yesterday I was talking to Tom Torero and he was puzzled that a lot of the girls he almost but never ends up fucking share similar characteristics: they have something kooky about them, they seem distracted and have weird, unusual hobbies. These are celibacy clubs!
“Help me Bodi! I’m a woman who is single and it makes me feel scared and bad. How can I live in avoidance and sabotage my own happiness? How can I form my own ‘Solo Celibacy Club’?
Well my dear you have come to the right person. I would be delighted to help. I will now take you through a quick course and we will have your temple of avoidance built in not time at all. Now my girl, have you ever seen a movie called The Prestige? The central theme of the movie will be used as a metaphor and structure for my patented Celibacy Clubs Training Course ©. I quote:
“Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called “The Pledge”. The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course… it probably isn’t. The second act is called “The Turn”. The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you’re looking for the secret… but you won’t find it, because of course you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet. Because making something disappear isn’t enough; you have to bring it back. That’s why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call “The Prestige”.”
The Pledge: The Foundations
Let me take a girl, an ordinary girl. Now let us examine this girl and be sure we have the correct foundations:
1) Upbringing - You were indulged a little and made to feel special. Any remote artistic output was pounced upon and your parents announced you were ‘different’. Strong male influence was very much lacking, and if it was there it was from your hopelessly fem-pedestalizing blue-pill dad, a perfectly nice guy from the pre-feminist era. You were never, EVER told that you had to get married and breed. Your parents raised you without any of the social conditioning they themselves were raised with.
2) Femininity - You were never trained to be feminine. You never learned how to appreciate masculinity. Because you can’t understand maleness you do not yearn for it.
3) Culture - You don’t get many Russian girls in celibacy clubs. Membership is primarily open to girls from the feminist Anglosphere, although we reserve special places for insane Japanese girls.
4) Stupidity - You’re an idiot with piss poor future projection.
5) Egotism - Just like our friends the Gammas, underneath it all you will be dripping with ego.
The Turn: The Mindset
You have seen the girl, ladies and gentlemen…. let me now make her disappear!
Poof! A simple mental reframe and she is gone. Let me teach you how. Let’s begin. Just tap into that inner egotism… good… now start to regard yourself as special. Simply side step the evidence of the world and from now on you will believe that you are:
None of this requires any work or evidence; you’re a woman: just believe it!
Now we have your mindsets in place you will now mythologise yourself. You will believe that you are not just single as a circumstance, oh no! you are single as an identity. Your identity is now built around your circumstance. Excellent.
You have your mindsets, so let’s define your behaviour. Most importantly you will make zero effort to put yourself in any situation to meet men. Your entire life will be a dark reality weave to deny there is an ‘issue’ and any situation which could challenge this causes a dangerous ego threat and is therefore avoided. If you do end up in a situation involving potential dick, you must deliberately take actions to scupper your chances of meeting men, as a way to prove to the universe that she you do not need to work for it. Remember: admitting there is a problem will cause ego death.
And what does proving that you don’t need to work for it show? It shows that you have unlimited time and unlimited option: the sweet dream of female avoidance!
The Prestige: the window-dressing
Now you are almost ready my precious. But being just a plain, ordinary, avoidant girl is not enough for our audience. We need to dress things up a little! Let’s disguise the situation with some frills and fluff.
For a start change your fashion. Pick something you think is individualistic or anachronistic and make this your thing. Perhaps pick something a little bit girly or out of place, for example you could have a small teddy on your key ring, or have a slightly cutesy rucksack. Perhaps you’ll start wearing crocheted cardigans, or dress in a fashionable French avant-garde style but always wear purple doctor martens. Or perhaps you’ll wear deliberately childish hats or mittens.
Next we need some unusual hobbies or interests. Don’t make the mistake of adopting ones that can bring you into contact with other people: girls may poke and prod your avoidance bubble and men, well of course men are to be avoided. So we need a solo hobby, and let’s pick one that lets you, despite your pedestrian IQ and total lack of creativity, feed The Prestige and allows you to feel special and unique. Here are some suggestions:
And we’re done! I hope you enjoyed the trick. See you when you’re 35 and on Guardian Soulmates.
Testing for membership
There’s a simple test to see if a girl is in a Solo Celibacy Club: how many of her activities put her in contact with potential males? Usually the answer is zero. Solo Celibacy Clubs are on the rise and personally I keep encountering them everywhere. I know of at least four examples from as many years just amongst my own social circle.
Here’s one of the more interesting ones: my friend Hu. Now a 31 year old Chinese girl she was born gorgeous with full lips, lustrous hair, shapely body and massive, round tits.
Like a lot of modern Chinese girls she was raised as a faux-man: pushed academically and expected to achieve and oh yes all that other woman stuff will somehow fall into place. Her mother and grandmother had been raised by the guiding hand of heavy social pressure and male influence yet they raised her without any of this, expecting her to turn out a well balanced, smart young girl. They never really thought about the issue to be honest. The end result was she turned out a confused girl. By and large sweet and pleasant but desperately confused and dysfunctional about men. She has no value system by which to judge them so flails around and uses the only one she sees around her: who is hot and who is cool. Her twenties were spent with one serious relationship with a Western gamma that caught her using his intricate gamma asian ecosystem plan and then long periods of celibacy where she occasionally “dated” a “cool guy”, such as a French jazz musician or an American bmx rider. It takes little imagination to see that on her side it was dating, on his side she was part of his pump n’dump harem.
I visited China for a friends wedding and ran into her. By this point she’d quit her job and taken a consultancy position where she could work from home. Ontop of this she’d decided she wanted to opt for the quiet life and had moved out of the city into a small, picturesque town nearby. She moved in a gay flatmate and together they fill their week with manicures, mountain biking, scenic walks and watching voluminous soap opera box sets.
At my friends wedding she talked with no sense of cause and effect (nor the ability to count backwards) about how she envisaged her own wedding day. This from a girl who’d been single for over three years and hadn’t had sex in over two years. Hu…. dear Hu…. there isn’t going to be a wedding. It’s game over. You’re in a carefully constructed avoidance reality and that’s where you will stay.
“Bodi! But how do I know if I’m in a celibacy club?” (asks a female reader)
There’s a simple set of questions you can answer. Let me fill them in for my friend Hu to show you:
Here are Hu’s statistics:
And her are Maritsa’s (the girl I discussed earlier):
Let me make this very clear for you ladies. If the following are true then you ARE in a solo celibacy club:
I used to run across Solo Celibacy Club girls all the time. For those of you who daygame you’ll know that a dream daygame set often involves a young, introverted girl aimlessly wandering about the city with time to kill and a dreamy look on her face. This is the bread and butter of street seduction. After you pass the beginner stage you start to try and keep an eye out for these girls but here you run into the intermediate trap: falsely identifying a SCC girl as a Dream Set.
You’ll spot a girl on her own with a funny hat and a big SLR camera walking through Trafalgar Square taking pictures. You’ll jog over and say hi, making an interesting and amusing observation…but it’ll just fall flat. All the energy will just drain out of the interaction and she’ll look at you with dead fish eyes, be immediately disinterested, have no idea how to interact with a male and then walk off. I have been there and suffered this many a time and can now spot these fake sets a mile off.
The girl in Trafalgar Square? That really happened. And what was ‘the tell’ (think poker)? She was moving quickly. She wasn’t smiling yet she was dressed in a kooky way. She had palid, drawn features despite being potentially pretty. She’d snap a few pictures off with no thought or emotional connection then shuttle on a minute and repeat, over and over. She wasn’t ambling along. She wasn’t smiling. It was banal and soul-less. Oh… and she was wearing Doctor Martens.
I’ve seen girls sitting in Green Park, reading a book on the bench. At first I thought they were a good potential set but on drifting closer I saw the deliberately over-kooky fashion, the weird shoes, the granny-knitted cardigan, the avant-garde book she was reading… all very feminine and unique but with a drawn and energy-less face. Avoid.
High quality daygame sets bear a strong superficial resemblance but their vibe is a world different. Truly introverted, unique girls are usually extremely feminine and have a good vibe about them. If you’re lucky enough to open one the interaction will probably sparkle from the get-go and she’ll be warm and receptive and very keen to meet worthwhile men.
Which leads us to discussing the last important category: that of the False Positive. This is a girl who may meet some of the criteria I listed earlier, who perhaps has been without sex or a boyfriend for an inordinately long time, a few years probably. She’ll be introverted and quiet but very feminine. She’ll not like going to bars and clubs and will probably have little hobbies and interests but this is not to weave a mythology of uniqueness around herself but is because, well, she finds those hobbies interesting. This is not a Solo Celibacy Club. This is a girl with a supply problem! There is a difference. Solo Celibacy Club girls are deep in avoidance and build their life and ego around it and they end up drained and unpleasant. Feminine girls with a supply problem want desperately to meet a high value guy and when they do they do not hesitate: they usually fuck him immediately. Their issue is that because they are very feminine they have very high standards of masculinity required in a guy and they meet very few guys who can match them.
My current girl is an English rose and hadn’t had a boyfriend in three years before meeting me and had had sex once during that period. An hour into our first date and I could see in her eyes the decision had been made. A few hours later we were screwing. She later told me that her main thought was “Finally!!! …. A guy I can fuck!”.
Shattering a Celibacy Club
Most girls in SCCs are lost causes but some, a few, the very, very lucky ones get stopped on the street by a confident, smooth operator and he guides their frustrated little hamster along a well worn path right off the edge of a cliff. Without any effort, and with all of their ego-scaffolding working against it, they have somehow managed to get fucked. Yes, they met a Player. Pickup Artists are some of the only guys in the world who are willing to take 100% agency in fucking a girl and to persistently drive it forward through a systematic interaction structure, obliterating all the obstacles she might throw in the way to get her onto the end of their dicks. If you’re a PUA and you meet one of these girls then do everything you possibly can to fuck her. Really, honestly, you are absolutely doing her a favour by pumping her, jolting her off her road to nowhere and reminding her how good it feels to have a dick inside her.
January 18, 2014 17 Comments
UPDATE: Email guest list is now closed. There may be space for people showing up on the day, but no guarantee.
The meet’n'greet event will be on Sunday 26th January. Email me to be put on the attendance list: firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject heading “book launch”. Cost is £5 on the list and £10 for turning up unannounced. Cash on the door in both cases.
Location will be central London and emailed one or two days before the event, and also announced on the blog. Probably the upstairs function room of a pub. I’ll do it as near to Oxford Street as I can.
There’ll be ten copies only of the book for sale at the event, the same hardcover version shown in this video. Selling £60 per copy. All numbered. Signed if you request it. This is an advance release, so you’ll be the very first people to read it.
The event will feature a talk from me of about one hour and two shorter talks from guest speakers (also good daygamers).
January 8, 2014 42 Comments
The book is finished.
It’s taken me six months of thinking, writing, editing, soliciting feedback, commissioning art, fine-tuning layout….. but that’s all done now. My layout guy sent me the final PDF today and it’s ready. In a week or so I’ll received a test print from my publisher and, assuming no weird printing errors, I’ll be ready to offer it to the world.
Offer it in stages, that is.
The final release schedule is subject to change but for now I expect it’ll look like this:
So let’s talk about Stage One.
I’d like to reward all the hardworking daygamers of London with a launch event towards the end of this month. I’ll hire a function room somewhere central on a Sunday afternoon and set up a projector. I’ll present an hour or so explaining my model (using my fancy new infographics), how the book works and answer questions. Probably there’ll be a couple of special guests giving short talks too. Consider it a meet’n’greet with extras.
I’ll have some special limited edition hardback copies of the book to sell, which will be numbered. I’ll even sign them if you’re so inclined. This will be a pre-release version with a unique cover, the very first copies anyone will ever see. I’ll pass one copy around for everyone to look at before parting with their cash. I’m pretty damn confident that anyone who lays eyes on this book with immediately begin reaching into their wallet.
Price? Haven’t decided. Probably I’ll only bring five or ten copies.
Pre-orders? Maybe. Leave a comment if you’d be interested in paying up front for one to collect in person on the day. If there’s enough interest I’ll figure out how to do it.
All relevant details will be announced on this blog in the next week or so. Time, place, seat availability and book price. 2014 is going to be a bumper year for daygame!
December 27, 2013 31 Comments
The pesky thing about our ego is that it deceives us. Most of the time we can’t see our own ego even though it’s transparent to even mildly-calibrated outside observers. When someone points it out we tend to bristle. This is all very normal. It happens to me despite my efforts to be mindful. Within the daygame world we call it Avoidance Weasel.
The smart move is to process the feedback from reality and then introspect. You needn’t roll over and let others walk over you but if the world keeps telling you an unwelcome message then at some point you need to bunker down and listen to it. I call it percolation. Like coffee dripping through a filter I won’t back down or accept criticism in the moment but it will register and eventually will percolate through and be absorbed.
I sincerely want to be right. That’s not the same thing as winning the argument, or holding the frame.
To continue the metaphor, some people’s coffee filter is impermeable. It’s plastic. It’s designed to stop that criticism filtering through. Why is that? The same reason for most weirdness: low self-esteem. Some people don’t want to face up to their deep-rooted feelings of low self-worth. So reality must be rebuffed. This is where the ego becomes very devious.
When you get into Game you develop a vocabulary to parse these ideas. Whether you’ve watched The Blueprint Decoded, Deep Inner Game or Tony Robbins they all give you heuristic devices, jargon and mindsets to achieve long-term conscious control over your mind. I call it reflexivity, the gradual expansion of the realm under your influence. You must master yourself before you master the world. So we can introspect and begin to confront our ego. Perhaps we’re a Northern working class lad who drinks to excess and finds himself in pointless Friday night punch-ups. Some introspection tells us we feel low self-esteem from growing up excluded from The Good Life down South. That’s why we talk with such bravado about football and denigrate Londoners as “soft southerners”, “spivs” and “yuppies”. It’s just externalising and projecting our own low self-esteem – sour grapes.
So then what happens? The ego retreats briefly and, like HeWhoCannotBeNamed, returns in disguised form. Now perhaps we openly talk about how London is a good place full of high achievers…… Then someone tells us we are acting overly superior, that we are now swanning around saying how we’ve “made it” and enjoy looking down on our former comrades up North as being “small-minded” and “parochial”.
All that happened is our ego switched sides.
What was originally a self-important construct to valourise the identity of being a Northerner has morphed into a self-important construct to valourise the identity of being The Lad Who Done Good. The ego still achieves its two main goals:
I use this example because it’s what happened to me. It’s very common. I’d suggest there’s a circular pattern going on:
Hide low self-esteem with grandiosity armour -> Reality breaks through grandiosity armour -> Develop new grandiosity armour
At no point does the original low self-esteem get addressed. The ego has outwitted conscious attempts to control it by a man who has both the inclination and guidance to try to control it. Self deceit is a powerful adversary. A common Intermediate Player ego trap is:
Original armour: Chode believes in Disney romance, pedestalises women and disparages anyone who would try self-improvement with a “just be yourself” dismissal
Reality: Can’t get laid. It knaws away. Probably a traumatic event (being dumped) forces them to confront the problem and they learn game.
New armour: Relentless approaching, routines, the PUA wizard-hat Super Player persona.
I think we’re all aware of that one so let’s float out some others.
At no point do I suggest getting a great physique or learning to fight are a bad idea. Quite the contrary, both are noble pursuits that build value. The problem is leaving your inner game unaddressed. Your ego has just sent you on a wild goose chase and you’re still the same chode with the same low self-esteem. It’s just now you have a new hook upon which to hang your grandiosity. A new intellectual construct to blind you from your own idiocy. And everyone can still see right through you.
How to tell if you’re mired in a new ego trap rather than making real inner game progress?
I don’t exclude myself from consideration from this list. While my inner game is 100x stronger than it was I still have my share of grandiosity moments. The important thing is to recognise Ego Traps and avoid what you can. You cannot address your inner game by papering over the cracks. No matter how elaborately you construct a reality-weave, at some point reality will break through and that will hurt.
“Ego traps occur when you learn to recognize and try to combat one form of ego-driven superiority, only to have the ego reassert itself using sneaky, subtle disguised ways to take over your mind from new angles” – Ricky Raw
In the manosphere there’s alot of external referencing masquerading as internal referencing. There’s plenty of people telling you how high value they are while showing you the opposite. Ironically, they are often precisely the people calling out others for lack of transparency. Don’t fall for it. Look inwards and concentrate on getting your own house in order. You’re into Game to improve your happiness and your results, not to engage in pissing contests with self-aggrandising little boys with big mouths.
Men who have reached self-acceptance are chill, relaxed and non-reactive. They don’t need to tell you how they are better than everyone else.
December 18, 2013 34 Comments
Allow me to offer a guest post from fellow daygamer and wing Bodi on a topic I’ve never heard discussed in the manosphere…..
Have you ever been in a crowded bar, a social place, full of noise and crammed with men and women all there with the express purpose of meeting each other yet observed a pair of girls, perhaps sitting at a small table, intensely locked in conversation with each other in their own little bubble. Perhaps you even opened them and were told briskly “they are not there to meet men”.
Have you ever known a girl, in her late twenties and single, who starts to get more into her career. Perhaps she starts ‘working all hours’. She may get a dog and/or even move out of the city into a small town. ‘It’s the only place I can afford the mortgage!’ she’ll say. She’ll get into baking.
Perhaps you knew a girl who didn’t go to bars and didn’t get into her career, but she had a very close group of female friends and they did everything together, organizing character building activities each weekend and staying in close contact over social media. Most of them were single. They all went to Ascot and got tipsy on Champagne.
Or maybe you were out walking one day and noticed a girl wandering on her own through the park, dressed a little alternatively and taking endless same-ey photographs with a huge SLR camera. Maybe you even thought it was a perfect daygame set and opened her, to be shocked at how disinterested, flat and drained she seemed.
Congratulations, you have encountered a phenomena increasingly common in the feminist women’s desperate attempts to ruin their own lives: the Celibacy Club. The common Celibacy Club is where a group of women (we’ll address the Solo variant later) form an intense dynamic the essence of which is to ensure the ongoing celibacy of each member. They trade their own likelihood of success in acquiring a mate for ensuring the other member’s celibacy. On a very simple level you’ve seen this behaviour before with generic nightgame cockblocking where girls will prevent friends from getting theirs if they’ve not had their own, or will even just cockblock out of spite for the sake of it. A Celibacy Club is a level beyond this, it’s less ephemeral and the natural urge to cockblock metastatizes into an all encompassing subtle mechanism of group social control where member accepts celibacy as a fair price for ensuring their rival’s celibacy too.
Celibacy Clubs are dysfunctional herds. Think of ‘The Claw’ in Toy Story.
A bunch of tiny aliens live in one of those grabber machines. They are all identical. They are weirdly culty and wait in anticipation until The Claw drops one day and picks one of them, carrying them up and away to a better place. The lucky alien, The Chosen, will beam blissfuly as he is lifted up and say “Farewell friends, I am off to a better place” as his comrades all coo in rapture at the spiritual event.
This is a woman’s life: they bumble along together in little groups, like herds of zebras, waiting for the lucky day that a lion stalks alongside and pulls one of them away into his own life and reality. The problem with Celibacy Clubs is they derail this prime directive: a Celibacy Club would be the crabs-in-a-barrel phenomena whereby The Claw drops so all the other little aliens jealousy hold down anyone lucky enough to get clawed, thus preventing them being spirited away. The end result: nobody gets Clawed.
How would you recognize a Celibacy Club in action? Here are some tell-tale signs:
Let’s look at some examples of such clubs, all real examples that I have encountered:
Why are Celibacy Clubs so initially tempting? Because of two things: firstly, the immediate throat-slitting joy of enforcing celibacy on other members. Second because it facilitates avoidance, and girls love avoidance. Girls all want to feel like they have unlimited time and unlimited options. It’s hard to believe this if you sit in your flat every Friday night on your own watching ER on DVD and crying into a bottle of wine and a cheescake. Fill your life with noise and the signal gets harder to pick up, and let’s not forget what we all learned when little: the thing that makes misfortune easier to deal with is having others have to deal with it as well. Remember, men’s self-help is self-development, women’s self-help is is self-acceptance.
After the initial two-pronged ego gratification of joining a Celibacy Club membership rapidly becomes quite stifling. Despite all the intenso-bonding a girl’s hindbrain will be screaming at her that her vagina remains continually unfilled. It starts to feel wrong and the gnawing sensation of avoidance becomes harder and harder to ignore. A Celibacy Club is a prison, a prison whose walls are held up by women’s adherence to The Female Groupthink and their intrinsic fear of non-conformance.
Eventually a girl in a Celibacy Club will begin to realize she ensuring her friends celibacy is not enough, and will try to break out of the club herself. She will try to pull away and sneak off and acquire herself a man, well aware that should she be caught by the Borg-mind she is part of she will endure their wrath. At the simplest level you have the classic scenario of a girl “losing her friends in a club”. Believe me my friends, if you’re ever in a club and you run across a girl who has ‘lost her friends’, STRIKE! Beyond this you get intermediate measures such as giving up or radically changing hobbies, increasing workload or time spent with families to avoid certain hobbies or obligations and at the highest level you quite often see girls make radical life changes: like changing career, going back to University or moving city or country. It’s not easy though…and mull over this if you want a glimpse into horror: the reason girls go the toilet together in clubs is not to gossip, but so they don’t want to leave each other alone for even one single minute.
In the next part: Solo Celibacy Clubs and why you should smash them
December 15, 2013 24 Comments
Imagine if those x-ray glasses advertisements in the back of 1970s Marvel comics had been real. Imagine it was possible to don a pair of glasses that let you see through all the bullshit and see the world as it really is.
I had zero calibration as a child until well into my adult life. I’d run around doing my own thing, imposing my reality onto the world and then show total obliviousness to the responses of others. I never learned to read the subtle cues in peoples behaviour that betray what they really think. Perhaps I was an unusually blundering idiot but I think men generally are an oblivious bunch. We live in the world of direct obvious overt communication.
Two years into the Game I still marvelled at Jambone’s ability to just know where a girl was at and whether she was up for it. To me it seemed he had a superpower but really he’d just taught himself calibration by fucking 150 girls since he started university. When you go through enough sets from beginning to end you get calibrated. When I asked him to deconstruct and list the signals he was reading he couldn’t really do it. It was too internalised.
So one thing I’m doing with my book is deconstruction. I’m breaking everything down into tiny micro steps. Ultimately Game follows a simple mini-loop:
Provoke feedback -> Use girl’s response to place her -> Make an informed next move
When you read her IOIs you are doing this. When you compliance test her you are doing this. The further you can deconstruct the steps and the more precisely you can sort the signal from the noise, the faster and more reliably you can move the girl forwards. That’s the nuts and bolts of calibration but the end goal is to internalise it and make it intuitive.
As you get calibrated you see the world differently. It permeates your world view and can’t be unseen.
You see a chode on a first date. Immediately you classify him on the socio-sexual hierarchy and you calculate relative SMVs with the girl. You know where the girl is and what she’s looking for. You can future project the next ten years of their lives with actuarial certainty. You see people on the bus and you can see their inner game issues written into their face, their posture and their clothing. You start to see men as women see them, seperating them into “gets laid” and “doesn’t get laid” buckets.
It’s weird. There’s an unbelievable amount of information transmitted if only you know what signal to detect and how to process it. The Red Pill does the same thing. You start to see what the office environment really is. You can almost see dollar signs being transferred from the middle-aged professionals across to the welfare housing a few streets across the office. You can see the cage office chodes build around themselves.
People talk about red pill bitterness, that emotional reaction to realising everyone’s lied to you every year of your life to pick your pockets and frustrate your ambitions. Perhaps we should also talk about red pill disengagement, that Cassandra Complex of seeing things as they really are but being powerless to change them. Watching the lemmings marching to the cliff and wondering why they can’t see they are marching into the abyss.
I love John Carpenter movies. Watching They Live as a teenager really got me thinking “what would it be like to have a pair of glasses like that?” Well, twenty years later after swallowing the red pull, learning game and the fundamentals of economics I get it. The world is so simple and it amazes me the elusive obvious is so well hidden from so many.
December 4, 2013 37 Comments
My new book is a textbook. Every page offers specific actionable advice for what to say and do while interacting with a woman you’re trying to seduce. To adequately convey this advice I need to bring my poor reader up to speed on key concepts and mindsets so I’ve been writing little “box out” sections as tangents to the body of the text. During my chapter on “daygame is dirty” I go into detail about the female’s dualist sexual strategy:
This reminded me of the first time I ever heard PUAs reference what we now call the socio-sexual hierarchy. Tyler Durden wrote a celebrated post on the Bristol Lair called The Secret Society back when PUAs didn’t really have the vocabulary to parse the concepts but they knew they’d discovered something real. I’ve used this as a jumping off point for this particular box out. So to whet my reader’s appetites here’s an extract from Daygame Mastery……..*
Most men are, in carnival terms, rubes. They are easy marks. They have been brought up in a deeply fem-centric world and all of its delusions. They go to work, earn money, pay taxes, buy products, watch TV and have sex with a tiny number of homely women. Dysfunctional as this sounds it’s exactly what the grand meta-narrative of the feminine imperative wants. It’s a feature not a bug. It’s no conspiracy. Most people have bought into the ideology implicitly and women can’t even articulate why they want it this way, much less design and administer such a conspiracy.
What matters is the result: Most men don’t get it.
Most men don’t realise that sex is everywhere. That innocent-looking girl in a woolly jumper sitting in Starbucks reading Proust? Last week she was picked up in Hyde Park by a player who fucked her three hours later in the disabled toilet at Charing Cross Hotel. That Iranian girl with the head scarf and wide blue eyes? Once a month her father pays for her shopping trip to Harrods and she sneaks away to spend the night with a player who picked her up outside Knightsbridge underground station.
There is a world of sex going on underneath our noses. 99% of men have never participated in it and many don’t even believe it exists. While waiting in the queue at Whole Foods they see the customer in front making small talk with the cashier as she bags his items. Oblivious, the man saw but he didn’t observe. A keener eye would recognise that “small talk” was a flirty indirect-direct ping that raised a smile, followed up by some sparkling eye contact. The player was screening the cashier, giving her a come-on to gauge her interest. Sometimes a cashier gives her number and gets fucked in a hotel room three days later. Then she goes back to work with nobody the wiser.
All women have “indiscretions”. These are her R-selected moments. It’s just that she’s not having them with the K-selected man so he doesn’t even know they happen. There are precious few R-selected men in the world so they act as aggregators. Twenty women may each have only one indiscretion but they all happen with the same man. This is why when you become an Advanced Player you stories become literally unbelievable to the average man. He’s literally never seen that world. He was never allowed into the Secret Society.
According to the UK Office Of National Statistics, 20% of all females living in the UK are aged between 15 and 30 years old. According to me, approximately 20% of them are a six or better in hotness. Depending who you believe women of that generation will have between 10 and 20 lifetime sexual partners on average. So let’s run some simple maths (it’s a crude sketch, social statisticians beware!):
Let’s assume half her notches are within stable LTRs with K-selected men while the other half are R-selected “indiscretions”, thus each girl has one Player Notch every two years. This means for one player to score 20 notches per year he is aggregating 40 girl-years of indiscretions. He’s stealing the lunch money of 39 other men. Not only that but we are only looking at the top 20% of the girls. Which leads us to quite a startling conclusion about R-selected men:
The hot girl population of the UK can only support a maximum of 0.1% of men being players before female notch-counts rise exponentially.
There’s a reason the society is kept a secret.
* Smarter readers will have observed I’ve given away one of the few extracts of my book which uses ideas that are already public domain. It’s not just the society that remains a secret!
November 22, 2013 29 Comments
Something just occured to me when reading Bodi’s recent post on workplace woes. He discusses the baiting tactics of office gammas and deltas and one particular tactic sprang to mind. Now bear in mind I write this from intellectual curiosity in the games people play rather than as a severe warning of a likely risk. I almost never encounter this tactic, mainly because I never let myself get drawn into the killzone of it. Unless someone can point me to psychology literature beating me to the punch I’m going to coin the term: The Bear Bait. It’s a way weak aggressive people can sway the crowd / bureaucratic institutions to dispose of a stronger opponent or to control the frame by the threat of such force. The tactic as explained from the position of the gamma / feminist aggressor:
Step One: Establish office reputation as harmless, helpful, normal person
Gammas are often excessively helpful to other staff when it’s measurable and recordable (e.g. an email answer to a problem posed) while resentful and value-taking in mood (e.g. talking down to you as they do it). Understand their behaviour is based on denying their low SMV by constructing an elaborate delusional reality in which the world is stupid and they are better than everybody else. Thus they are stubborn and aggressive (a frame-push) but also fragile and terrified. As Ricky Raw correctly observes they don’t feel guilt, just toxic shame. So you’ll find gammas frequently glad-handing the office and conspicuously engaging in impression management.
Step Two: Identify victim
Gammas are always looking for a recipient of their frame-push because they need to position themselves above everyone. Busybody women are always looking for an outlet for the screams of their barren wombs. If you have little involvement with these people they’ll leave you alone but if you find yourself sitting next to them or in regular team meetings you can expect trouble. Most office workers are spineless pushovers so their frame-push encounters no resistance but if you hold your frame expect them to make a project of you. This is why its best not to provide unnecessary ammunition from your personal life – don’t talk about Game, don’t offer political opinions and don’t flaunt how much better your life is than theirs – these are all digs into their toxic shame that will make them more resentful and more motivated to attack you because your very existence is an existential threat to their delusional reality.
Step Three: Engage victim in casual chat with other people in earshot
The aggressor will start chumming-up with you by making innocuous small-talk that gradually veers away from what is directly relevant to the job. Most of the time nothing comes of it except a mild pump for information to use against you later but every now and then the planets will align for them – you fall into a conversation and there’s lots of people who can overhear. Now this is when the trigger is pulled and it suddenly becomes a bait-and-switch from friendly chat to deliberate malicious attack. Precisely the reason it works is it lulls the victim into the killzone by exploiting their friendliness and goodwill.
Step Four: Utter socially-conventional (but completely untrue or nonsensical) platitude that forces victim into hard choice to either concede the frame (a) or argue a position that constitutes thoughtcrime (b)
The aggressor will accept either of two outcomes. Either you accept the frame-push, dicktuck, and can then be bled dry for fuel to power their delusional reality (that they are above you) or you resist and they try to destroy your life. Being passive-aggressive they are seeking to recruit external forces as their cat’s paw namely laws, social convention and HR departments. At a minimum they want co-workers to label you an outcast (“He’s a bit weird, that guy. A racist/sexist/bigot”) so they can use you as a foil for their own moral superiority when discussing you at the watercooler. The lottery jackpot is if they can twist something you say into an HR-actionable offence that has witnesses. Remember their reality can’t tolerate your existence outside of their frame so they will be ruthless and vindictive about it. So, examples (I lay it on thick, in practice they’ll be quite nuanced and subtle):
Him: Did you see that slavery case in the news? Three women were held for thirty years by some man. It’s horrific.
Him: Don’t you think it’s awful that in this day and age we still have slavery and sex-trafficking in the UK? Men are still able to get away with it (this is the frame-push)
You (a): Yes, it’s terrible (concede frame)
You (b): Well, we don’t. These cases are extremely rare and are almost exclusively confined to immigrant populations from third-world countries. It’s not a “UK” problem (thoughtcrime)
Step Five (a): Continue to push victim by heaping more platitudes on them until receiving concession
Once they sense your willingless to submit they’ll demand total supplication because the further they beat you down the more superior they feel. Expect a long rant to consolidate their frame delivered with a watchful eye waiting for the slightest flicker in your eyes that allows them to bait you with a “don’t you think so?”. So for example:
Him: Yes, it’s terrible. There are still so many things wrong with this country from the legacy of colonialism. I think these women are very brave. The police should do more. I think those victims were ignored for so long because they are Malaysian and Irish. It’s just like the Lawrence Report said – the police are institutionally racist…. blah blah….
They know full-well they are goading you. That’s their pleasure – prodding a declawed bear with a pointed stick from safe distance.
Step Five (b): Feign incomprehension to draw out verboten opinion, making sure everyone in earshot hears and begins to pay attention.
The slightest crack in their reality causes them existential pain so if you push back at all they will try to destroy you. When you initially express crimethink they may leave you a bit more rope to hang yourself by nodding and making listening noises before suddenly raising their voice to paraphrase your opinion to the audience. Watch here for a deliberate attempt to squeeze your opinion under any thoughtcrime label e.g. racist, sexist, homophobic, right-wing, bigoted, reactionary, old-fashioned etc. Once the label is there the specifics of your opinion cease to matter and instead the “fact” of your “racist outburst” becomes part of the historical record.
Step Six: Immediately make it personal in a way that leaves victim false dilemma of either conceding frame (a) or making what can be twisted into a personal attack (b)
The next step is usually to either dredge up an identity politics card or to hypothetically create one. So for example:
Him: Angelina Jolie is such a good actress and a very morally-inspiring women. She’s really hot too.
You: Not my type.
Him: Why not? She’s one of the most beautiful women in the world, always winning prizes for it. Of course you’d want to date her.
You: She’s old, unpleasant and raising a bunch of other men’s children. I’m not interested.
He now has multiple lines of attack to pursure your verboten opinions and to make it personal. Such as:
Of course if you’re being attacked by a woman she’ll immediately find something about herself to personalise it along the lines of “you don’t like X. I am X, so you think I’m a bad person?” be it body fat, age, bastard kids, divorce, paper-shuffling pointless career, worthless degrees…… she’ll find a way to position herself as the subject of your “hate”.
Note how the stakes are raised. He/She is betting the farm that you will either (i) back down from your position because continuing your case can only result in a personal insult in an environment that punishes personal insults or (ii) say something that can be reframed as a personal insult precisely to trigger that punishment by her cat’s paws.
Step Seven: Condescending and self-congratulatory gloating (a) or immediately playing the defenceless victim (b)
So if you back down they’ll preen themselves now they are positioned above you or seek to record the “personal attack” as a “fact” which can now be actioned against you. Either way they’ve won.
Perhaps your first response is to think “no way are people that self-consciously manipulative” and if so, you’d be wrong. People are very devious. Just watch how naturally a pair of drunken bar thugs will execute a pincer movement on a victim with velociraptor-like telepathy. This stuff is hard-wired. The more oestrogen in a person’s system (i.e. women and gammas) the more likely they are to revert to this passive-aggressive aggressor-victim manipulation.
This tactic is writ large across the whole of society especially by race hustlers, feminists and the other Professionally Aggrieved and Offense Takers By Proxy. It’s utterly wicked because they know full well that the overwhelming social power is on their side yet they go out picking fights, little different to the packs of Pakistanis who go on the roam in Shadwell for solo white victims. The obvious question is how do I defend myself?
1. Don’t get set-up. The whole tactic is based on lulling a man into the killzone so learn to recognise the set-up. These gammas and women will throw out lots of little micro-tests to ping for your opinions. They’ll drop incidental comments expressing GoodThink then monitor if you enthusiastically agree or go silent – if its the latter they’ll mark your card for later. When you social acuity is tight you’ll spot these pings easily, as you’ll also spot the suppressed gamma rage / man-hate in their eyes and set of their jaw. I don’t rise to the comments and if they keep pushing I just tell them I don’t discuss that kind of thing at work.
2. Don’t take the bait. This should be obvious but when you feel the trigger being pulled, don’t do what they expect you to do. Don’t get involved. Make sure everyone can hear them needling you and trying to drag something out of you while you keep your opinions to yourself. If they are really insistent just call them out: “Just say what you mean” or “What are you trying to get me to say?”
3. Pull the Reardon Gambit. Assuming you got caught off guard and have now expressed CrimeThink in front of an audience, you are in damage control mode. Your best defence is to explictly and overtly describe the tactic back to the crowd by either being uninvolved: “It’s obvious what you’ve done. You pushed me into expressing an opinion publically precisely so you can take offense at it. I only told you because you asked. Stop playing these weird games and let me just get on with my job. I came here to work, not to play politics. You’re transparent” or if you’re sharp you can reframe them as the aggressor: “I don’t think this is appropriate for a professional environment. I’m trying to do my job and I think it’s unfair to single me out and try to publically shame me for privately-held opinions. People can see your game.”
Whatever happens just know this person had it in for you from the moment they marked your card. If you must play this game it’s best to just chip away at their frame daily with tiny getures and comments that position you above or outside their frame but never reach the threshold of being actionable against you. It’s a bitch move but if they started it it’s fun to keep shaking their reality for lulz.
November 20, 2013 50 Comments
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.” Charles Dickens, David Copperfield.
The essence of a bachelor’s life is that he maintains control of his time and his freedom to maneouver. This is how you feel in control of your life and avoid the sense of being harried, put-upon and trapped. We are quite aware that getting married-up (the old “ball & chain”) and having children are the two major ways in which a man can surrender his time and freedom to maneouver. If that’s what you want in life, by all means go for it. This post is written for bachelors who have chosen to remain free of such entanglements for the foreseeable future. The two key principles are:
This is talk from business financial planning so I ought to unpack it a little for non-bankers, beginning with considering a man who has it all wrong per Dickens. Imagine a caricatured cubicle-jockey who works full-time 48 weeks a year on a permanent-employee contract. He owns a suburban three-bedroomed house and both he and his wife have a lease car each, perhaps a couple of years old. They have a sky sports / entertainment subscription, 24-month 4G mobile phone contracts for both adults and both children. The mortgage has ten years paid and fifteen years remaining plus there are a few unsecured loans to cover big ticket expenses like the recent kitchen remodelling. What is the risk profile of this man’s finances?
What this means is the man has a very narrow margin of error. When expenses rise he had few options to absorb the change – does he try to get overtime at work or does he trade-off another expense? If his income drops (his hours are cut, he is fired) he has a huge monthly payment to meet and no means to do so. Not only that but by having equity in his home he has alot to lose in a home repossession. The man has no time and no freedom to maneouver. This is why bachelors should be very wary of owning a home. The things you own end up owning you.
One thing investment managers quickly adopt is the idea of asset classes. Everything is an investment and allocating funds to one asset class (e.g. equity) means less funds for another asset class (e.g. bonds). This is simple opportunity cost. Investment managers will take a strategic view on the likely performance of different asset classes and make their bets accordingly. You should be doing the same.
Property is not an emotion. It’s not a symbol of success. It’s not a part of your identity as a man. It’s just an asset class. Depending on your life situation and the economy it’s wise to be either long or short property. Usually it’s better to be short (i.e. renting not buying), here’s why.
Buying a house locks you into one place and a high monthly fixed expense. For no reason other than that it is usually smart for the bachelor to avoid buying a house. When you tell your boss you have a mortgage you are telling him “I can’t walk away from this job so please fuck me over with limitless demands, pressure and shitty projects. I’ll take it all while wearing a shit-eating grin because I know I don’t have the option to walk away”.
A man with a huge income-expense margin can accumulate a large pile of fuck-you money in his savings account. He can take time off work. A man on a six-month rental apartment can very easily trade down to a cheaper place if money is tight, trade up when he’s flush or just go move to another country/city to follow a good job opportunity. As Robert De Niro advises in Heat: “Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner…. Now, if you’re on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a… a marriage?”
The golden rule of taxation is that the burden falls heaviest on those least able to avoid it. The poor don’t pay tax because they have little income to tax and little to lose by refusing to work. The rich don’t pay tax because they can restructure their affairs to minimise it. Tax falls disproportionately upon the middle class for three simple reasons:
Buying a house positions yourself squarely into the cross-hairs of a thieving government whether overtly (property taxes, stamp duty, rates) or covertly (you are locked into place for all the personal taxes)
Property is just an asset class. Nobody buys a house outright in cash. Under periods of stable banking families will typically provide a 20% cash deposit and borrow the remaining 80% which any investment manager will tell you is 4x leverage. You have £4 of debt for every £1 of equity but still control (carry risk and rewards of) 100% of the investment. Let’s consider a contrived example to clarify the maths:
Your capital: £20k. Your mortagage: £80k. Your house price £100k.
Scenario 1: House prices rise 10%. Your house is worth £110k. You now have £30k in equity (the debt didn’t increase) This is £10k profit on an investment of £20k = 50% return.
Scenario 2: House prices fall 10%. Your house is worth £90k. You now have £10k in equity. This is £10k loss on an investment of £20k = 50% loss.
The key characteristic of leverage is it magnifies the impact of asset price movements. A change of just 10% in house prices creates a 50% change in your wealth. We are so used to hearing risk-takers extoll the virtues of leverage in rising markets that we can forget leverage also works on the way down. As many a leveraged hedge fund found out to their cost. The main point for the bachelor to process is this:
Buying a house is a highly leveraged bet on the direction of the housing market.
You are not reducing risk by buying a house. You are increasing it. This is before taking into account another factor: housing is a depreciating asset. Houses fall apart and become delapidated without regular maintenance and repairs. This truth is hidden in fast-rising markets because the net amount of house price rise minus maintenance costs will be positive. Thus accepting that buying a house is an investment decision, and in particular a speculative investment decision, we must understand how a house is valued. If your natural thought is “look in the estate agent’s window for similar houses” you are a moron. There are three ways to price a house over the long term – all are ways to determine if the housing market in a given area is over- or under-valued at the time you are considering purchase.
1. Median house price to median salary ratio
It’s an obvious truism that if the average person cannot afford the average home then house prices are going to drop. You can find long-term historical data (for example Case-Schiller) that gives a clear pattern for any region. Generally speaking in the US house prices will cost 3 times the salary of whoever lives in it. Pull up the graphs. Any time prices deviate there is a bubble or crash and eventual reversion to the mean. It’s simple (effective) supply and (effective) demand. What can’t happen won’t and therefore when median house prices outstrip the median earner’s capacity to pay they don’t pay. There’ll be a period of market breakdown as delusional sellers refuse to drop prices (the first sign of a house price crash is sharply reduced transaction volume – buyers and sellers can’t agree a price) but then as the 3Ds come into effect (divorce, death, reDundancy) the forced sales pull the market down.
2. Median salary to median mortage payment ratio
People have a comfort zone for how much of their monthly income they are willing to allocate to housing. Long term statistics show that to be about 33% of take-home pay. The rest goes on food, entertainment, clothes, car whatever. Banks consider this ratio in making loans because as the % rises the borrower’s wiggle room to deal with external shocks reduces as does their willingness to meet payments in times of duress. When you read stories of young couples paying 60% of take-home pay to meet mortgage payments then its a sure sign the market is overpriced and headed down.
3. Bank optimism
There are long-accepted rules in the banking industry and long-accepted ratios in determining loans. Put simply your banker assesses you on the three Cs
House prices are determined by the availability of credit because it’s the size of the mortgage the bank will give you that determines your effective demand to bid on a house. Thus when lending standards are lax (i.e. banks are optimistic) borrowers can get larger loans and thus bid up prices. When banks are aggressively marketing loans with 5% deposits or ALT-A interest-only repayment schedules, or the central bank is forcing down interest rates it is all pointing in one direction: houses are overpriced. Lax lending leads to high rates of bad debts and an inevitable banking contraction. Lending standards over-correct to the strict side and suddenly borrowers can no longer bid so high. House prices drop.
There are many additional factors that impact house prices that I won’t go into. For example consider how these sociological changes affect prices:
- Expansion of public sector jobs in a particular region: Wages rise in that region leading to increased ability to bid-up house prices. When government contracts and fires those workers prices come back down.
- Mass immigration: Large numbers of wealth-destroying third world immigrants flood a country. For their housing demand to become “effective demand” (backed by the ability to pay) they must receive government housing benefit. This can only be funded by taxation (national debt is merely deferred taxation) which means the increase in effective demand by the colonists is offset by the decreased effective demand of the wealth-creators (when taxes rise, median salaries and interest cover falls – see above ratios).
- Debasement of the currency: Prolonged periods of quantitative easing artificially suppress interest rates which has the effect of (i) reducing monthly payments for borrowers on floating rates (ii) destroying yield on investments for savers. It’s a direct transfer of wealth from savers to borrowers. Effective demand is transfered from one group to another but not increased overall. When currency is debased house prices have the illusion of increasing because they are measured in a unit that loses it’s real-world value. For example in the UK the pound was devalued 25% in 2008-09 but house prices remained flat. The economic effect is house prices dropped 25%.
These are complex factors but I raise them to solidify the key point: Property is just an asset class and it’s a leveraged investment. It’s not an emotional decision or a rite of passage to becoming an adult. For most bachelors most of the time buying a house is suicide. It takes away your time and freedom to maneouvre. It will also very likely lose you money if you buy now.
* Anyone retarded enough to say “rent is just throwing your money away” will be sent to the spam queue.