Krauser gets a fashion styling

Early last year one of JJ‘s good buddies Belinda gave him a styling makeover to turn him from a shifty joy-riding chav into a Libertines-esque indie bad boy. It worked. He looked almost cool. So then Toe had a session and she was able to hide his unflattering curves and Aussie classlessness. If she can make those two reprobates presentable to the opposite sex I figured she might be able to take my dress sense that last step towards perfection. So as the New Year dawns I hear she’s about to go back to Melbourne. If I want to catch her I’ll have to stop procrastinating.

In advance I tell her I’m going for a dishevelled rock/rough look and send a few photos of guys I think look cool. I’m open to try new looks but need to keep the masculine edge. The last thing I need is to dress like Gok Wan.

Yes, I think these guys are cool

We spend a few hours in changing rooms experimenting with looks. I learn which jeans look right on me and how to wear them (e.g. “Put the pockets and buckle down so they rest over your hipbone. The belt is not to hold your trousers up, it’s an accessory”), the importance of layering and so on. We snap off a bunch of photos for different looks….

I've become a safe, respectable man

Being a tight bastard this was all done on a budget so I was going for clothes that can be used across a number of looks. In the end All Saints, Top Man and H&M were £300 richer and I had three new pairs of jeans, some boots, a few simple t-shirts for layering, and a couple of pullovers etc. Looking at the photos I see we were softening alot of the bad boy vibe and making me more street legal.

It feels good getting properly styled, getting small touches here and there and the occassional big change. I don’t have to think “am I well-dressed? does this work?” but instead can hit the streets knowing I have my fashion together. That’ll help my frame. Assanova is always banging on about how important it is to be the best-dressed man the girl has seen all day and now I can kinda see what he’s getting at.

Belinda is in Australia now and can be contacted for styling at Bella Charisma

Delusion Damage – book review

Let’s get the conclusion out the way first. This is a very good book. If you have an interest for the meta-game / societal ideas I discuss on this blog then you’ll find Delusion Damage interesting. But rather than review the book the usual way I just want to expand on a feeling I had when reading it.

“I thought I was the only person who thought that”

As we progress through life we encounter many scenarios that make us think. We ruminate upon their meaning and develop our own little tricks and strategies, our analogies that help us impose a pattern upon the chaotic world. We nip, tuck and simplify. We assign helpful labels to phenomena that appear unrelated on a surface level but are thematically or fundamentally related. The main feeling I had when reading this book is the (anonymous) writer perceives the world like I do. I thought I’d exclude the really obvious commonalities – such as the evopsych basis of human behaviour or the matrix metaphors – and concentrate on the knick knacks.

Frame control as a tool in your own intellectual development: When arguing a point I never concede ground and change my mind during the debate itself. I believe holding a strong frame and repelling borders is crucial to a strong boundary function. A man who lets himself be dragged off-centre during a debate is a weak man who can be convinced of anything. Conversely, sticking to your guns over the medium term will end in delusion and hubris. I sincerely want to be right. I don’t mean my ego wants to defends the current opinions I hold – I mean that I want my map of the world to be as close to the terrain as possible. Thus when arguing I will pay keen attention to the other parties and try to understand / unpack / destroy their claims but the whole time I will store their ideas in a quarantined cage. Then, like coffee slowly perculating through a machine, in the days and weeks that follow I will deal with any intriguing ideas on my own terms to see if they can improve my map. Thus in the heat of debate I seem pig-headed, arrogant and stubborn but over time my frame survives and improves. On page 315 of Delusion Damage we see a similar process regarding telesales.

This didn't end well

Mastery is overrated as a life skill: While I respect mastery in a skill set, I consider it to be a result of unbalanced life priorities. I used to look at top professional fighters in awe of their skills and dedication but as I started to know them I realised they were destroying themselves in pursuit of mastery. These men would look superhuman in the ring but when sitting having a drink with them they’d tell of their permanent nagging injuries that stop them sleeping well, the joys of life they miss from spending all day in the gym, and a generally shocking one-dimensional character. The same goes with the top pick-up gurus who have fucked 500+ women. Aside from the obvious questions (wouldn’t it be great to have so much sex, wouldn’t it be weird how that would affect your mind etc) I found myself thinking “given the extreme effort and sacrifice required to achieve such mastery, what on earth is missing from his life to compel him down such a difficult path”. It’s no coincidence that the people I’ve met with the highest laycounts are actually far unhappier people than those in the 50-150 lays bracket. There is a steep cut-off of diminishing returns between accomplished amateur and grandmaster. I consider life far happier when you’re accomplished at dozens of expert systems rather than master of one. Page 193 begins the Delusion Damage discussion of related issues.

Life is meaningless, so create your own way: I don’t empathise with people’s constant scramble to find external meaning in their lives such as religion, science, herd approval, or political ideology. Way back in university I went through a four year journey of self discovery in which I read voraciously on every subject of human importance throughout the human and social sciences. I was determined to answer all of the big questions of life: Does God exist, What is the best system of political organisation, How do people relate in groups, What economics creates material abundance, What is the archetype of male development. After hours in the library and many Student Union bar / seminar room arguments I found my answers. When people try to argue this stuff with me now I just switch off because I have little to learn from 99% of the people who try. I’ve already read and thought more about this stuff than them, and argued the toss with people far smarter and experienced than they are. Ultimately the best position on the meaning of life I found came from (I think) Betrand Russell. When asked if it wasn’t depressing if you believe there is no God or importance to your life he said “No. I just turn my attention to other things.” The Delusion Damage book closes with a chapter on how to maintain psychological stability when all the pretty lies have perished.

There’s loads more – throwaway sentences here and there – which perked me up with a “I do that too!” response. Try the blog and if it speaks to you, give the book a go.

Postscript: I happen to disagree completely with his economic views starting page 66. He seems oblivious to the basic problems of political philosophy and advocates a system which is communism by a different name. Simple questions like “who makes the decisions”, “how are they enforced” and “how are people motivated to replenish the pool of wealth” go unasked yet these are precisely the questions that sink resource economics. I recommend a foray into Ludwig von Mises, particularly his 1922 book Socialism. Fortunately this chapter can be ignored without undermining the rest of the book

Married Man Sex Life

I can’t believe no-one thought of this before. Game is a toolbox and does not force you into the lifestyle of pickup artistry. Game is a way to transform your life (“successful masculinity” I call it) and learn to deal with women. It doesn’t logically follow that the only outlet for game is to hunt down girls in clubs and on the streets. How about using the same wisdom for getting new girls but for making your current girl happy and getting the type of relationship you want.

This is Game for long term relationships.

I'm guessing he designed the cover himself

It’s also marketing genius. The world is full of frustrated husbands who are not getting what they expected from married life and yet are morally commited (or just plain trapped) to marriage with the same woman for the rest of their lives. These guys need help but they aren’t going to run the gauntlet of cold approaching three times a week, and these guys have lots of time for blog reading. It’s also a sweet reframe of Game away from “pump and dump club sluts” towards “successful monogamy”.

I’ve been reading Athol Kay’s website for a while because I think much pick up advice is sorely limited by stopping at the false endpoint of getting the first lay. I’ve always been interested in how to manage relationships whether monogamous or harems. I genuinely enjoy spending time with girls in between fucks and for eight years pre-game I was extremely good at girl management. Athol’s not a top player. I believe he’s stated the only girl he ever banged was his current wife. But he knows how to handle an LTR.

I recommend the book for any player with interest in LTRs. It’s pure red pill, toned down a little for his target demographic. He doesn’t have the literary freedom for the plundering rape’n'pillage language that I have. Here’s some of the concepts I liked:

Sex Rank – A short-hand for the concept of hypergamy and women dating up. His core thesis is that an unsatisfactory sexless marriage is best fixed by working on yourself as a man (the Man Action Plan) to increase your sex rank above your wife’s. This will then trigger within her the impetus to improve herself, a large part of which is becoming more sexually available.

The Power of Semen – The book really goes into evo-psych on the power of semen to keep a girl attracted. Fascinating was the timeline of how if a wife doesn’t allow you to keep her vagina topped up with semen every five days or so, then she’s highly likely to be trying to deny you the ability to defend her against rival sperm. As in, she’s prone to cheating.

Body Agenda – This is a polite reframing of what I call the hindbrain. Women’s bodies have an agenda of their own and the brain is just along for the ride. Thus they dress up slutty and mew for male attention while ovulating. The rationalisation hamster is a logical construct that negotiates the wide chasm between what a woman’s body leads her to do, and what she actually believes she wants in life.

Get the wife you deserve – If you up your sex rank, do things right, and she still doesn’t comply then bin her. Move on to a woman who will comply. Athol actively discourages bachelors from getting married for all the reasons we at the manosphere already know. His book is written for guys who are already in the trap.

Captain / First Officer – Athol solves the dominance / submission quandry by offering a model that you can actually tell a girl without triggering her femocunt ideology. You are captain of the ship with final responsibility. She is the trusted confidant and second in command. She’s not co-captain but nor is she a crewmate or stowaway.

Timeline to Ultimatum – Upping your sex rank will purposefully destabilise the marriage and set it on a course towards an ultimatum where she gets her shit together or you dump her. Accept that sometimes this requires the marriage to end. But never force an ultimatum on a wife whose sex rank trumps yours.

Track the menstrual cycle – Learn to date and diarise your girl’s menstruation so you can get blowjobs while she’s bleeding, be the nice guy when she’s PMSing, and turn up the asshole when she’s ovulating (while keeping a careful eye on her wandering).

Alpha / Beta mix – Roissyites despise all things beta because for them beta = chump. Athol identifies beta as the nice guy / comfort behaviours required to keep the connection and trust in a girl who is already attracted to you by the alpha. A happy wife is married to a nice guy with a hard edge. He doesn’t suggest you take her shit.

That ought to be enough to give you a flavour. Don’t expect the next paradigm in game – it’s just a good book for how to run your LTR without losing your game.

Delusional fools: This is the anti-daygame

Sometimes when I’ve finished watching a decent infield on youtube I’ll let it recommend a few related vids and watch them. There’s all the usual dross: faked daygame kiss closes, nerdy virgins doing a webcam piece-to-camera from mum’s lounge, a big-name upsell. The one that just came on tonight and inspired actual nausea in my gut was from the alleged bosses of the Vegas and NYC lairs.

Good lord, check this out…

Here’s my play-by-play thoughts. Bear in mind it was painful to watch the first time, nevermind the second. I’m just about to make myself person-non-grata in Vegas.

0:07 – He actually calls himself an MPUA. Here’s a rule of thumb – the more 2002 jargon a guy uses, the worse his game. Calling yourself an MPUA is almost a guarantee of not being one. Like Saint Margaret of Thatcher once said: “being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people, then you aren’t”
0:22 – A weird-looking MPUA. Here’s a second rule of thumb – daygame is a test of how socially normal you are. If you’re not normal you are almost certainly hopeless at daygame. Someone recently asked me if Yad is a personable guy to be around. I said “of course, how else could he be so good at daygame?”
0:28 – Who is that weirdo on the right and why is he biting his nails, covering his mouth, and starting a sentence he doesn’t finish?
0:57 – Oh holy fuck they are walking across broken glass to shatter their limiting beliefs. For fucks sake you fucking retards, stop being retarded
1:26 – Creepy body language to ambush a trapped girl then forced intimacy. Video cuts away before girl rejects him more obviously.
1:56 – Horrible opener by weird creepy guy doesn’t hit. There’s a surprise.
2:14 – I’d be alot more forgiving if they didn’t call themselves MPUAs and then talk to the camera like they have something valuable they can teach.
2:26 – Graphs = science
2:46 – Don’t tell me. Show me.
3:03 – Another creepy ambush of a girl who IODs immediately and shows social politeness, then the video cuts away from the impending blowout. For training purposes note he had aggressive body language, telegraphed too much interest, forced rapport too early with a handshake, and sat down without an invite far too quickly. He also offered no value.
3:22 – Weak open, little value, and then creepily follows. Read more Tolle bro. This set could’ve easily been rescued because they were amenable to a decent approach.
3:29 – Following an escaping girl while DHVing and building kino???? This guy has no understanding of daygame. Predictably, the set doesn’t even hook.
3:43 – More disinterested girls showing minimum politeness. A recurring theme.
3:48 – He actually did a salsa spin.
3:50 – Fuck. He did another one
3:53 – and again! Holy fuck, he puts the M in MPUA!!!!
4:03 – Did he actually do a cartwheel in the middle of the street? Hang on, I just rewatched that. He actually did do a cartwheel in the middle of the street. Look at the disgust on the girls’ faces.
4:21 – High five = definitely down to fuck
4:29 – finally a girl gives what looks like a genuinely pleased respond. Almost five minutes into the highlights and there’s one girl not trying to GTFO.
4:36 – “this’ll look good on Facebook” and no close
4:44 – More creepy stalking and inability to capture girl’s attention
4:52 – ambush!
5:00 – Walking up to girl and directly asking for number immediately = tight game. Mystery Method should’ve been one paragraph long.
5:45 – My guess is that a flaky number really is a rare treasure for this guy.
5:51 – When the skillz don’t work, turn to prayer
6:11 – “picking up women, what we do”. At least they have the balls to attempt an epic reframe on their youtube followers.

This is the worst video I’ve seen all week. No girls. Not even a hook. Lest you think this is a one-off, here they are flash-gaming / monkey-dancing for a couple of drunk trashbags.  This is what happens when MPUAs roll?

Calling in more expert help: He-man meets Skeletor – part two

So why did my marriage fail?

That’s a long involved question. There’s the version my wife gave me and then there’s what I really think. Without going into huge detail, the woman’s version is that I was too mean, didn’t show enough interest in her, became dull, and that she fell out of love. My version is I betatised and lost most of the qualities that had attracted her in the first place. I focused too hard on being the GQ / Esquire / Hollywood version of a perfect husband and that led me to become boring, home-centred, and to care too much about making the marriage work. I also found her increasingly unattractive as she aged and became masculine through starting a new job and Westernising. There’s alot more to it than this, but they are key trends.

The first six months of 2010 were weird for my game. I was getting lots of dates, lots of attraction, and lots of almost f-closes. Then suddenly in June everything fell into place. Most of that was down to getting my alpha shit together, but there have been lots of outliers that couldn’t be explained by lacking alphaness. I’ve had about a dozen girls crazily attracted this past year, to the point where they’d say things like “before I come out to meet you my heart is beating fast and I’m short of breath” and they’d be super horny. And yet I failed to f-close them and they drifted away, much to my bemusement.

So what gives?

Masculine polarity

At the end of my free one-hour consultation session with Skeletor, as he was packing his notebook away he teased “I think I know what the problem is.” Guess I better sign up for those paid sessions then,…… thing is, he actually delivered.

A week later we had a three-hour sit down in a casino cafe. Mostly he was pumping me with questions. Delving deep into my attitudes on men and women, on my attitudes to sexuality, the relationship my parents have, whether I was popular at school etc. Then after a ciggie break he reflected everything back to me and took me through the theoretical basis.

Now it’s common for overly-enthusiastic reviewers to talk about sessions being “mindblowing” or “shattering my reality”. A teacher can give you a whole new orientation towards the world and open up a panorama of new possibilities.

This one didn’t.

The most helpful takeaway from the whole session was that we actually agreed about 90% on how the sexual marketplace works. It was freakishly similar. We have different models and different priorities but we essentially agreed about what Game is and how to get it. What this told me is I’m on the right track. All that theoretical knowledge I’ve worked on in the past 18 months, all the worldly wisdom I’ve picked up in the past 35 years – nothing Skeletor said invalidated that.

So the session wasn’t too useful, you ask? Fuck no, keep reading. The mindblowing bit was far more subtle. I’d gone into the sessions deciding all my barriers would be down, all the shields turned off, and the phasers set to stun. People who know me know I am an exceptionally open person but also strangely guarded without realising it. I knew Skeletor was going to need a direct unfiltered look into my character to do his work properly. There’s no point trying to hold stuff back or reframing stuff to impress him (and lets be honest, I wanted him to respect me so the temptation to qualify was there).

I was handing him full disclosure in a way no-one but my brother has ever seen before.and hoping he could work some magic. What he did was take pretty much my whole personal history and current sticking points and explain everything as stemming from two character traits, then explained the detail, then explained how to fix it.

That’s mindblowing. Not boom!smash!bang! mindblowing. It was just incredibly perceptive and reductionist. The two traits are:

1. I lack soft dominance
2. I look to the world for external validation of my self image as a high value man [I'll go into this in the next post - it was mostly from the second paid session]

Soft Dominance
A woman looks to a man to lead her safely through the dangers of a hostile world. He has the ability to impress his will upon the world (rather than the reverse) and build an impregnable fortress within which the woman is safe. This is hard dominance. The woman feels safe and protected both physcially but also in her social status, which becomes attached to the man’s. I do this very well. Bad boys do this too, but they also have fleeting attractiveness that eventually turns the girls away. Why is this?

Girls also crave a garden paradise within the walls of the fortress. A warm beautiful space to express their true character without risk of judgement and to let all their love flow. They need to feel cherished, to feel needed, and to feel romantic connection with their protector. Otherwise the fortress is a prison and the girl feels trapped in her relationship. The analogy we came up with in the session is of a motorcycle helmet; The shell is the hard dominance, the padding is the soft dominance. What happens if one is missing? If the man is a beta pansy the force of a crash impacts upon the padding and kills the woman. If he’s a bad boy there’s just a shell and while the road doesn’t kill the woman, the shell does.

My heart, artist's impression

As we talked about my attitudes it became clear not just that I lacked soft dominance but also why:

• My father is a spineless beta and now a kitchen bitch. My mother is a confrontational aggressive, barely empathetic shrew. Thus the male-female roles were reversed through much of my upbringing. Don’t get me wrong – my parents have had a successful 40-year marriage, are still in love, and I’m close to them both. But I rebelled against the role reversal and vowed I’d never become a wuss like my father, and never allow a woman to treat me like my mother did my father.
• Growing up as an intellectually exceptional student but athletically unimpressive, I always tended towards bookish hobbies and developed a sense of physical lacking. In my late teenage I went on an over-compensatory quest to become physically competent that led me into boxing, BJJ, and muay thai. This is now an extremely strong part of my identity. I’m not a wuss.
• I credited (rightly) much of the success of my relationship with my wife as due to being strongly masculine, aloof and badass. I blamed (rightly) much of the relationship’s collapse to us losing this male-female polarity. Thus I became determined not to be a wuss.

Notice the W-word coming up a lot? I believe many of the softer characteristics of a man’s dealings with women are wussy, and I’m not a wuss. You see the issue? This explains why I missed all those f-closes earlier this year, and why my wife’s complaints during the marriage weren’t simply the rationalisation hamster but actually stemmed from real unmet needs.

Skeletor went on to outline his models and how to work on the soft dominance. I promised him I wouldn’t steal his proprietary material so I won’t go into detail here. The basic principles however are:

• During the hypnotic scanning phase (usually on a date, in deep rapport) the man is scanning for genetic fit while the woman is scanning for identity. Thus it’s crucial to have the inner game fixed and to drop the mask. This is why routine-based and dishonest game ultimately fails with high esteem women, and why earlier this year I was getting day 2s that went nowhere. I was able to show an attractive mask for the ten minutes of the street pickup but on the Day 2 when we had to actually get to know each other I would either keep the mask on, or let the girl see into an inner game that still had broken pieces jangling around from the divorce. Either way, the girl didn’t connect.
• Good game is creating a strong identity in alignment with your masculine core, then removing all the barriers that prevent that showing through in your interactions.
• Men and women can each be characterised according to confidence / competence (men) and beauty / esteem (women). This create a dual hierarchy of 4 types each. Durable relationships occur when the man and woman are from matching types.

It’s surprising how much you can get through in three hours. So far Skeletor is living up to his rep.

Daytime Dating Review

The Expendables – The best and worst of action movies

Best

• The cast. It’s like all of the best action movie stars of the past twenty years all in one movie. It can barely handle that much awesomeness in one place.
• Arnie, Sly and Willis in a scene together
• Violence that makes even the last Rambo movie seem tame
• Massively alpha Mickey Rourke and Dolph Lundgren performances.

White Knight Army

Worst

The plot: Stupid entitlement princess betrays her father in the worst possible way by hiring a gang of mercenaries to kill him and steal his country. Daddie finds out and tries to save her from the inevitable but she won’t stop causing trouble until she’s captured by the Evil White Man. The most awesome gang of white knights ever assembled then slaughters about 500 men to get the ingrate bitch out of her own mess. The end. About as misandrist as a movie can be.

I still fucking loved it. Still, a reminder that you can be the most badass alpha on the planet but if you refuse the red pill you’ll get yourself into all kinds of needless grief over wimmin.

Oh, I finger-fucked my thai girl in the cinema during the harbour bombing run scene.

Roissy Gives Me The Rub

Everything in life is like pro wrestling. In this case:

“Rub – This is when a top performer tries to get a lower card performer over by associating with them, usually not by jobbing but working a competitive match with them or allowing them to cut a promo on them or look good in an angle.”

I log into my WordPress dashboard and see my site hits have gone spastic. Turns out Roissy Chateau has discussed my 1-on-1 review of Yad and sent a shitload of his readers over to me. On the first day my page views are 400% above the norm. Next day it’s 500%. As if that’s not enough Assanova is saying nice things about me too.

Feeling pretty good about myself right now. Almost as good as when I did that Muslim virgin up the arse. Thanks fellas.