Aggressive commuting

October 29, 2012
krauserpua

On my way to work I like to take a leisurely stroll to the Underground station so I can get a little sun and fresh air, stretch my legs a little. I find it helps orient me to the day and negate the stress of the London rush hour. You get to see people at their most dispirited and iritable early on a Monday morning. Once such recent encounter gave me pause for thought in how certain behaviours give you a window into a person’s world.

So I approach the station around 8am and my Oyster card has expired so I proceed to the ticket machines, two of them side-by-side near the station entrance. Both are busy and a thirty-ish chubby Asian man is trying to straddle both queues (he is the only person waiting) by standing between the machines. Immediately I peg him as unsatisfied with his life as he is shuffling hurriedly and craning his neck over the other passenger’s shoulders willing them to complete their ticket purchases faster. So I know this man is passive-aggressive and unhappy with his lot in life. I have no time for people who breach the standard codes of daily life, whether they jabber on their mobile phones while at a cash register (and thus disrespect the staff) or in this case trying to hold two queues up to save time by externalising his impatience onto other passengers. I walk directly to the right-hand machine to wait. He turns to face me and says “I’m waiting for that one”.

A non-managed ticket queue, yesterday

This surprises me a little. London commuters are a timid bunch and even the passive-aggressive ones are usually so passive they won’t say anything or hold eye contact.

“OK” I reply, and move towards the left-hand machine.

“I’m queueing for both of them” he says and physically moves to block me.

“No you’re not. Choose a queue” I reply.

He whines about something but halfway through one of the women in front finishes her purchase so I move to that machine. The guy dodges in front and rushes to the machine. What a dickhead, I think, and give him a light shove as he brushes past me and then I wait for the girl infront of my machine to finish. He pipes up, something along the lines of:

Him: You just hit me

Me: No I didn’t it was a light shove as you pushed past me

Him: That’s assault. I’ll make a citizen’s arrest if you hit me again

Me: (now making my ticket purchase) I didn’t hit you and I’m not going to touch you

Him: You hit me. I’ll have you arrested. I’ll take you into custody until the police come

Me: If you touch me I’ll knock you out

Him: I am going to take your photo (starts fumbling with phone camera)

Me: No you’re not. I don’t give you permission (lightly swat his phone down, but not so hard that he drops it)

I forget the exact words but he was bleating and prattling, much longer sentences than I’ve written here. He walks off and then turns to take a photo from a distance then waits for me at the top of the platform steps so he can then prattle on next to me about how he’s going to have me arrested. Next he pretends to call the Transport Police giving them my description and agreeing a rendezvous at the next station. I’ve already back-turned him. Nothing more comes of it.

but wearing a tailored Italian suit

My reason for relaying this story isn’t to position myself as some kind of champion of social justice. He was a pushover gamma male showing a rare appetite for confrontation, hardly a threat even in this country of officious law enforcement that seek to harass law-abiding tax-payers rather than stop real crime. Rather, what did this incident show me about this man’s reality? My thoughts:

  • He has a generally bitter view of the world where other people, and probably fate generally, are assumed to be against him. He is under attack and every now and then needs to fight back
  • He will breach social convention in the grey areas (i.e. straddling two queues) in order to gain a marginal advantage. This is value-taking. I suspect he’d also not tell checkout staff if he received too much change on his groceries and likely is an inconsiderate driver
  • When in a confrontation his instinct is passive-aggressive and to tell teacher. His attempt to reframe himself as the victim of a physical attack was laughable, even Premiership footballers don’t play act that obviously. Despite initiating both the circumstances of the confrontation (through his value-taking) and the explicit confrontation itself (telling me to play by his rules then jumping in front of me) and the first physical nudge and the prolonging of it (the photo and threats) he was determined to frame himself as the victim.
  • His shrill references to having me arrested were just telling teacher. He is not a man who handles his own confrontations. It’s easy to play brave when you have an army behind you. There’s nothing badass about strutting infront of a (perceived) helpless victim like you’re a warrior
  • The attempts to photograph me show his classic gamma traits. When people self-define as a victim they often award themselves a moral carte-blanche to ruthlessly attack their supposed-oppressors without honour or proportionality. Just look at “anti-fascist” or “anti-homophobia” demonstrators and how they try to hound normal men out of their livelihoods. This betrays the deep-seated misanthropy behind the victim identity.
  • He told a blatant lie in carrying on his sham phone call. So not only does he play fast and loose with the truth but the whole charade was designed to try to worry me and ruin my day. So he was not motivated by defending himself or seeing an aggressor brought to justice. No, he was motivated by the ego payoff of trying to be a winner in a confrontation and to make me feel bad.

These are the same character traits which guarantee failure with women. It was pretty obvious looking at him that he doesn’t fuck hot girls. Much of the rage and feminised desire for indignation that led him to act out will have been driven by his sexual poverty. The lesson for my dear readers is this: Who you are, how you orient to the world, is a direct determinant of your success with women. Everything about this man and his behaviour was woman-repellant.

Guys who are knocking over hot women on the regular are chill, relaxed, pleasant men. It’s both cause and effect. They don’t seek unnecessary confrontations but when they do they handle it themselves, out in the open.

[Edit - Due to my gamma contingent not understanding the physical layout of a train station and the queueing system in place, I've added a photo of a similar such layout.  K.]

28 Comments

  1. It’s lucky that he did not carry out his threat, for, the BTP would be only too happy to see this as a racially motivated crime: he’d play the race card, of course. I’d suggest that his getting so uptight over the two queues reveals a really feminine-like mentality on his part. What a tosser.

  2. Good on you Krauser for standing up. I was once in a 20 minute line at Burger King when a guy walked right up in front of the 10+ people waiting and stood in front of me. I tapped him on the shoulder and said OI. BACK OF THE LINE. He started making excuses, but when I sized him up he backed down. Those types of men are just pathetic.

  3. Interesting post. In Hong Kong where I live there have been reports of Anti-Japanese sentiment and protests over some islands in the East China Sea.

    So Friday after a few beers I get into a taxi line. In front and behind me are some groups of young salary men chatting quietly amongst themselves.

    Suddenly I hear some local Hong Kong dickhead, clearly drunk, well-dressed but one of these Hong Kong Chinese bullies—suddenly starts laying into the Japanese guys “Hey, this is Hong Kong, you go back to Japan, you don’t belong here”.

    I hate the endemic Chinese racism here against everyone. So I walk over to him, stop so I’m now between him and the Japanese guys.

    “Shut the fuck up ass hole, or I’ll call the cops. Stop hassling these guys, what did they do to you, fucking cheap asshole.”

    The Japanese guys were shocked. The local guy was shocked sober. He takes 4 steps backwards. He immediately does that passive-aggressive Chinese thing when they lose face, he forgets about the Japanese guy and starts hurling obseneties. But it’s more like parroting what I’m saying to him.

    I give hi a silent stare. Then i turn around get into my taxi and leave.

    The guy is left on the road not sure if he should continue his bullying, keep yelling at me after I’ve left or leave.

    Take the wind out of a bully’s sails…and he’s left flapping not sure what to do.

  4. Krauser, thanks for a thoughtful, thought-provoking post.
    It’s good to see when a winner values honor & character, not just keeping score on a basis of external factors (women wanting you, acquiring lots of money, status, etc.)
    I wish I found more stuff like this online (or in any media).

    Maybe this is obvious stuff, but some thoughts about this guy you encountered and why he’s a loser:

    1. It seems he goes through life *expecting* problems, irritations, etc., i.e., his attitude is always ‘Today is going to be a drag’, which makes him a drag to be around. His pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    2. He’s chubby, which tells me he isn’t doing everything he can do to be attractive to quality women.
    So he at least partly creates his sexual frustration, but then he makes his unhappiness about it a
    problem for everyone around him (who never did him wrong).

    3. Maybe modern culture encourages the victim mentality by bombarding us with advertising which aims
    to sell product by flattering the consumer by encouraging a self-pitying mentality (remember
    McDonald’s had the ad campaign “You deserve a break today”?). [Agreed. You control your own mental state, most of the time. Happiness should be under your control. K.]

  5. Krauser, I’m a big fan of your blog and usually agree with your point of view. Perhaps it’s my American bias but I have to say I think you were completely out of line here. The guy was waiting for the next available machine and you bullied him, shoved him, and slapped his camera. I think you are 100% in the wrong. I don’t know what the law is where you are but in the US anyone can take your photo in a public place without your permission. And you can’t just shove people because you want to cut in front of him in line. [Haven't you heard about British people and queueing? There's a strict protocol and nobody breaks it without incurring strong social disapproval. A bit like what you yanks are like with tipping. K.]

    • “strict protocol”
      Agreed, but there is scope to modify the protocol in a useful manner, one queue that splits at the head such that a machine becomes available. That way no one gets into the wrong queue stuck behind someone who doesn’t know how to operate the bloody machine while the other queue you aren’t in, moves smoothly forward.

      • that’s how i queue at the tube station too, just like at some supermarkets where there is only one queue for multiple counters. [I think a few of you missed the point. There is always a queue for each ticket machine, just go into any underground station to observe this. This guy was the only person queueing and he decided to create a single queue. K.]

  6. You were acting like a dick. Waiting for the next available machine doesn’t hold up anyone else.

    Good job bullying some poor sap.

  7. I think you’ve been spending too much time with women.

  8. sounds like you were escalating the violence by pushing him. your own enduring insecurities, perhaps?

  9. Hi Nick Krauser,
    I think you dealt with this well. There are lots of strange office-drone men who indulge on this kind of passive-agressive stupidity, on the Underground. White men make the obvious target because in the politically-correct groupthink minds of these losers, white men are guilty of all sorts of crimes.

    One point in the comments which I agree with, is that regardless of circumstances, the police would have been happy to arrest you. But my heartfelt congratulations in handling this in a manly way. I have been in similar situations and found them difficult to resolve (controlling the urge to thump the idiot).

  10. “Who you are, how you orient to the world, is a direct determinant of your success with women. ”

    beautiful man, great story. abundance mentality. wealth and love. i was thinking something similar yesterday. a real man is rich and powerful. rich meaning he has many resources, the #1 being an abundance mentality, that life is beautiful and full of beautiful things, he has a rich life. and powerful means that he can get more beautiful things through his abilities and talents.

    the man you met is the opposite of that. he is bitter and weak. he has the scarcity mentality.

  11. Shame you didn’t have your spycam on Krauser. Sounds like a video of this would have topped the one where you almost laid out that Brazilian cockblocker in the pub.

  12. lot’s of knobs walking looking at their phones not looking where they are going who get all annoyed when you bump into them..cunts

  13. Go into any airport, bank, DMV, people queue up one line for the next available person. You seldom see the six lines. Basically you were in the mood to be a dick and push a little beta who was playing my the rules as saw them. He was doing nothing to you. You bullied him.
    That being said, I have been short or mildly rude to people when my mood was foul. Usually it is because I am frustrated with something and let it get to me.

    [The DMV reference identifies you as an American. How about my American readers read up on European social customs before making such a mistake. Observe this in Italy. I couldn't find a UK photo but the system is the same - separate queues for each machine, unless a cordoned queue management system is in place such as this. Seriously, engage your brains before you write. K.]

  14. You paint a very clear picture of a person whose life just seems miserable. At first I thought he might just be in a hurry; I know I’ve had days where I’m late for work and willing to bend or break social convention to avoid getting chewed out by my boss. But the usual reaction then is sheepish embarrassment and stammered apologies, not petty indignance.

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  16. You did the right thing. The City has got full of try hard asian (indian/packistani) wannabees in the last 5 years

  17. Considering the situation, i can see that it has some resemblance to what Ricky Raw experienced in the Netherlands, which he described here:

    http://therawness.com/my-european-trip-part-9-a-conversation/

    Besides putting the passive-aggressor in his place, ricky raw made me get interested in reading Atlas Shrugged, which narrated the greatest masters of *frame keeping* in history. [That RR piece was excellent for dealing with PA people and I sometimes go back to it. Fountainhead is even better frame control than AS. Howard Roark is incredible. K.]

  18. I think you’re in the wrong. Individual queues for each machine is utter woppery. I’m always delighted when I see someone at the station who has formed a single queue for all machines: much more logical and fair. What’s all this “custom and practice” argument? I’m British and a Londoner and argue the opposite: I see single queues all the time!

  19. You did the right thing. If people don’t stand up for civility in society, then exploitative people like the chubby guy will pull everything down to their level. You also did well to stand up to his posturing. Thank you.

  20. This is excellent. The best explanation I’ve seen for the direct correlation between how you handle daily life and whether you are getting laid. A girl sees your whole life. If you are a pussy the rest of the day, how can you be a Man she wants to fuck? Impossible.

    Here in America I see this passive aggressiveness Constantly. It is endemic among the younger Gen Y generation of whites and also the “rainbow coalition” of the “Other” who just reelected Obama.

    They are all self styled “Victims” of the White Man – yet just like your train queue character they all want to WIN at the same time. Human beings want to come out on top, even when the only way they can do it is act like a pussy who will “tell teacher”

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  22. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend you read The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

    I mention it because the takeaway I got from your story reminded me of…

    Law 10
    Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

    And you make a good point about how the guy probably thinks the world is “out to get him”. It made me reconsider some of my own beliefs when out dealing with strangers in unfamiliar settings. [I'm currently reading the concise versions of his War, Seduction and Power. K.]

  23. Krauser,

    I’m Asian-American myself and I’ve noticed since childhood that the Asian culture produces an excess of Gammas. I used to characterize them specifically as Betas, until I re-read your posts on Gamma, Sigmas, etc.

    From your own cultural observations in the workforce or in general British life, do you find most Asian males (British born or not), are generally Gammas? (passive aggressive, avoids direct confrontation, resorts to feminine gossipy tactics, rely on their ‘superior’ intelligence as rationalizations to avoid conflict, SNEAKY, etc)

  24. I live in london and it is normal for 1 queue to form for 2 or even 3 machines. It is a case of Krauser not understanding protocols.

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