Long game and deep conversion: Serb singer
October 2, 2012 22 Comments
I came back from Belgrade with two solid leads of high quality classy girls. One of them I’ve already talked about. This is the other girl. I met her in a Belgrade nightclub by steamrolling her group and rapid escalating. I’ll start off here with the very first Facebook chat about a week later. I haven’t banged her yet… just had her topless on a bed in her friends’ house party. The chat starts out pretty boring, just watch for how she gradually gets sucked in and lets her defences down.
Me: what are you wearing?
Her: my pajamas
Me: …. not sexy at all -5 points
Her: we can stop talking if you expect from me to have with you some special sexi relation on the face book i cant say to you – well I am wearind – notinig wearing – sorry
Me: haha…… so prudish!
Her: i am disappointing your expectations I know, but that is me
Her: you can allways say to me – look girl you are board to me, I wont some sexy and brutal girl for fun
Me: you are very serious today
Her: I will not be offended
Me: what’s today’s plan for you?
Her: I just I never spoked with some of my sex appeal exept with my ex boyfrined, you flatter me but still I am not good in this I feel good when you say that I am pretty and good looking, you are too by the way
Me: thank you can you understand my English ok?
I’ve miscalibrated my opening, trying to position her as a wild girl and she’s resisting. So I take a different tack a few days later…
Me: hey, serb!
Her: hey what`s up
Me: I’ve just been to Hampstead village to see a friend. He has been living in Japan for 6 months, and is visiting London for a week you?
Her: ok, you and your friends love japan, that`s the most popular coutry today i am resting, today it was tough day I have a headache couse of the sun
Me: Probably, your head looks like a tomato
Her: Nick can you wait for a secund i must go the kitchen
Her: … my head is not like tomatoes!!my head is beautofull… then your head is like an egg ,,:)) you give me weird comments ,you know
Me: my head does not look like an egg it looks like a potato
Her: you just sad that my head look like potato
Her: ooo my god, i am tired ok it looks like potato ilittle I must practice English because I work with people from Egypt and Tunisia, Russia … I am volunteer at school but I still can not think so fast in English
Me: how old are the children at this school
Her: (redacted)… I am very happy to work with kids
Me: yeah, I liked teaching children when I was in Japan. Kids have a good energy and a love for life
Her: Yes they are so innocent but still very smart
Me: I’m listening to Doo Wop music now. Do you know it?
Her: blah blah blah…. ok i must go now it was a pleasure talking with you
Me: you too, have fun! :
Her: see you on fb panda bear
So I’m dropping in DHVs and running playful comfort without any sexualisation. We’ve found some connection over working with kids and she’s showing me a but more of her life. Everything is still a bit short, clipped an superficial. A few days later….
Me: hey I’m busy exercising, but want to say hi
Her: ok hi Nick that`s nice I am chating with kids how can you multitask I can not imagine exercise and tipping at the same time
Me: taking a break. Doing kickboxing training
Her: Ok that was logical… otherwise you would have to be a Bonaparta to do several things in the same time. I am going to sleep now. Good night
Just touching base, drop a DHV, keep myself in her mind without making any demands. A few days later….
Me: oi Serb!
Her: hi how are you
Me: I’m good, enjoying great weather, sitting in the garden with friends you?
Her: i am ok, I am home with my parents now, came out from the city where I study where i go to college I am checking one song, I applied for a talent show
Me: mmmm, that’ll be interesting which song?
Her: that is a problem I do not know yet, I have a couple of them, I caught a cold a lot my throat is not good but i can sing now this song wait a secund
Her: (redacted link) my voice is deep now and i love [black jazz singer]
Me: it’s good I remember you have a very sexy voice when you were singing
Her: i am a liitle bit nervous about kompetition hahaha tnx
Me: when is it?
Her: for 2 weeks I think they will call me but in belgrade i was singing a serbian traditional songs, that can not be sexy, but yes i could have sexy voice i remember that night everythink about me was sexy for you nick my sister calls me i must go sorry
Her: we will chat I like to talk with you by
I’m putting out more happy vibes and I can feel her starting to warm to it. A few days later I put up a photo from boxing sparring where I have a big long bruise/scrape across my forehead. Now she finally lets her id run free and invests big time. She lets on how much she’s been thinking about me, trying to solve the puzzle of me, and wondering what I think of her. This is where I know the only thing between now and sex is logistics.
Her: how did your friend make you this bad scar
Me: punching my head
Her: I noticed that you’re not a man who likes to talk a lot, most of the time I’m talking or gibbering, and when i ask you something you give me the obvious answer, and then somehow i feel uncomfortable because it turns out to ask a stupid question. Sometimes when I see you on fb I would like to speak but I stop because I do not know what to say and then it turns out I’m talking more than you do and that could look like selfishly I found that you are an introvert. phlegmatic, calm person and I can not exactly figure out why are you interested in me, because I can be annoying a little (like now) and my English is bad…, I even think that you laugh often when I write something wrong. And now I probably ruined our spontaneous talking in the future but that is me. Worry when I don`t no need to worry. But you can still anwer with – OK on this message ( i will understand), like you did that night in Belgrade when you didn`t escape from me and many guys would couse of my unexpected behavior. Ok, I think that I cross the line now. I speak too much. Good night
Me: Don’t worry [her name]. I’m quite happy for you to talk alot. Chat to me anytime I guess you really like me
Her: Ok this is better than OK in your stille af course i can ask the same questione
Me: You’re a lovely girl. I like you. I’m usually good at judging people, so I’m confident I am right about you
Her: ok, I am glad that you dont think I am crazy. I am usually very suspicious and paranoid about people, i allways think that it is not like it seems…but I like U to. too – sorry
Me: Have you thought about our night together much?
Her: i will talk about that later, i must go know.
Her: nick I didn`t ignore your questione, it became crowd in my room,I want to answer you are when averyone is not all around me.
Me: no problem
Her: ..Sometimes..I do. From several different perspectives. One – it was wonderfull and passionate …secund – it was different, i broke down my life rutine and rules. That is really refreshing!! It is good to know you fit in society, whatever it is, and I dissagree with today’s standards of conduct in particular the girl`s behavior. I totally condemn today’s criteria of normality.Today everything is upside down. Values are mixed and warped. And… I am a control freak and that night was different And you were kind and patient but I am not suprised, you are older and familiar with the female world . And yes you are good looking guy ( but again you could be a psychopath – because I dont know you ). This raises your ego and you already are too confident. If you’re in the mood, replies to me why you think women should follow the instructions of man. This is typical for the Balkans attitude, it is strange to me the English have the same opinion. Of course you are not obliged to write essays like I do )
Me: I’m happy that you had a good time with me Men are designed to lead. To go into the world and take what they need. To make decisions and to have a direction. Women are designed to choose a man and then follow him. They don’t like the responsibility of leadership and can feel uncomfortable and alone, without direction A woman feels happiest when she is inside the world of a strong kind man she loves. She feels protected from the danger of the world, and has freedom to give her affection and love to him unfortunately, there’s lots of feminist bullshit that tries to convince women that it is bad to be feminine. Feminism tries to fool women into becoming like men And when women try to be men, they become very unhappy that’s why there are no young, pretty, happy feminists feminists are always old, ugly, and angry because they have wasted their life following a false god of Equality
Her: …..Wait to absorb this . you write an essay for the first time. But I`ll give you the answer for shure ok I agree with you in some parts…neo-feminism has ruined the relationship between women and men I am a child from a traditional family… in college I studyi todays family that has totally lost its identity….. I even enjoyed reading something you wrote, but…. men who have a similar attitude as you, often minimize women abilities
Her: “A woman feels happiest when she is inside the world of a strong kind man she loves. She feels protected from the danger of the world, and has freedom to give her affection and love to him
unfortunately, there’s lots of feminist bullshit that tries to convince women that it is bad to be feminin” – true
Me: women are perfectly designed for their natural role. They have exactly the abilities they need also, women can deputise for men when they need to. But they aren’t as good at men’s things, and they feel uncomfortable doing it
Modern men are weak and feminine. It’s embarassing It’s so difficult for a woman to find a man who has all of the positive attributes When a woman dates a weak modern man, she doesn’t feel secure. She is constantly stressed and agitated because she can’t trust him so she’ll often misbehave, nag, complain, and do annoying things to release the nervous energy and usually, because the man is weak, he will accept it and apologise. This further display of weakness makes the girl even more agitated I see so many relationships like this. Totall unhappy, no natural balance
Her: I deffinitaly love to talk with you I need time to read and understade and to write but I can mannage There is a book, written by one Japanies writter … which is inspired by today’s chaos in society – ” the way to a society without fathers” I have hole seminar on that subject but I must go know I send you greetings !!
A few days later she’s entered chase mode…
Her: hi Nick how are you we didnt chat for a while…
Me: hi I just got home how are you?
Her: i thought you dont want to talk with me I am fine you dont need my picture, we can just stay in touch from time to time It means something to me, I do not know exactly whay why * and what never minde i must go
Me: Sorry, I’m chatting with a few friends talk soon!
Her: ok I understand, it was little uncomfortable while I was waitting, but that happens on fb, it`s ok, doesnt matter
Her: ok it is very hard to beat you in conversatione when I dont know english enough, but on Serbian I am veery good, no one can compare with me you imagine somethin to talk with it means we are boring this is difficulte never minde, I need words.. and we dont undestand each other
Me: no problem I know English is not your first language. So don’t be shy about it I get frustrated when I speak Japanese and can’t express myself properly
Her: thats helping thank you. I’ll be honest … when I talk to you its like I’m not in the real world, everything is like in another dimension, i am shure this is funny to you, or it does not mean anything to you, and I am just one silly Serbian girl
Me: how do you mean “another dimension”? does it feel good?
Her: i dont know why I sent this
Me: I’m curious. I am interested in you
Her: omg I can not explain
Her: I can actually but…
Me: … shy?
Her: sorry I lost net conectione no i an not shy i am insane
Me: I’ll try to guess……
Her: you dont have to wait to asnwer you
Her: You might be explicit, and I am shure it si not what you think but ok, I ollow you
Me: I think you are normally quiet a strong-minded person. You are often confident, bossy, and independent but with me, your character changes. You become shy, girly, silly, giggly you like how you feel with me, but it’s so different. You don’t feel like your normal self *quite
Her: I am not in love with you Nick you describe that…I told you I am crazy…but you are not wrong totally I will answer you when I can concertrate… otherwise you will wait for an answer for ages…. joke , i must write proparly haha How can you know I am bossy you’re right, I love to dominate I know …..you’re good at judging people Nick I must go know my sister needs lap top but we will chat are you there?
Me: yeah, no problem
Her: Why you have an angry face smile goodby
Her: to some extent you’re right …. because I like to feel that way, I’m very disappointed in the new type of men, mollusks. I’m strong and I need someone who is stronger than me but more patient and calm. You represent someone in whom I could fall in love, if he lives in in country where I live, some younger and if there is an opportunity to really get to know. I didn’t idealised you, I am reasonable persone but in basic you are alfa meal and older, sophisticate, you have personality, confidence. (but I have a question – why are you such a chauvinist?) I dont know how much is wise to keep in touch, as much as today there are so many maniacs ( I watch Criminal Minds all the time) and you’re constantly wondering what I am wearing, do I have some sexy pictures….) It may be because of your normal high level of testosterone, higher sexual appetite which is normal for a strong man, but that can be you’re a sociopath too ( sorry I don’t want to offend you, I just try to think – what if you are ….) I do not know why I worry when we just chat and nothing more, there is small possibilityfor danger. and that’s why I am sayig I’m crazy and naive because. But yes I feellike that when I talk to you… There is one thing more. Since I was little, 14th I’m in love with Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice), that’s why I love English British so much, and when you spoked to me that night it was like in a fairy tale. You didn’t say things like Darcy did To Elizabeth , you were more like – You are so sexy and things like that but I am not Elizabeth Bennet and this is 21 century. there you go, You Know now who are you dealing with You may say something to convince me not to be paranoid
Me: It’s interesting the examples you use and the way you speak. Alot of your analysis is accurate Are you staying awake? You know I’m not a sociopath because you’ve seen my photos. You’ve seen how I look when I’m with my family, my nephews, my friends. But I can understand why you choose that word because some of the characteristics sociopaths have are also what I have I have a high opinion of myself, I believe in my own judgement, I like to travel, I don’t waste time on flowery meaningless conversation…. so these things are shared with sociopaths But the big defining feature of a sociopath is an inability to empathise with people – sociopaths are indifferent to people’s emotions, such as pleasure and pain. I’m the opposite. I’m hyper-sensitive to it (like most introverts) so I am careful in choosing who I allow to touch my nerves.
Her: I am night bird, I go to bad very late allways. I know all that facts about sociopath.They would do anything to get their rewards and thats wy I m scaring….I’m sorry I will not say that anymore I must say you are very gentle with your nephuws, lovely pictures really.
Drop another DHV….
Me: I was in a couple of movies when I was 13, in tiny roles
Her: really? You’ve been an actor why you didnt continiue
Me: it was just kid’s stuff, nothing special
Her: i loved to act when i was little , prepared show for my family show, I mimicked the famous singers I must go, its strart to be crowd in my room
Me: ok, no problem. We’ll talk another time have fun!
Her: bye my good-looking English friend
I figure it’s time to work on the logistics. Previously the hook and connection didn’t feel strong enough but at some point I have to progress things and keep the momentum going forward so I plant the seed. I don’t push hard, just put the seed in and give it time to work. So much of long game is incepting ideas and let her own imagination and hindbrain do the work.
Me: my favourite Serb
Her: i just wanted to say hello to you my GLEF is your interview for a job tomorow ?
Me: yes, I’m in Starbucks now doing some preparation
Her: ok I wish you good luck ! do you know what is GLEF i think you understud
Me: Green Lost Elephant Farmer
Her: ahahahahha you are good how did you know ??? you are write thats much more better then good looking english friend
Me: I know everything I’m going to show you around London
Her: of course, there is no doubt what ? yes in another life
Me: No. I want to see you. I’ll be working soon, so the best answer is to bring you to London for a holiday
Her: Nick…my chances to see London and you is the same as I was a ballerina in my past life and I dont believe in past life….my heart beat fast…you know….I take that as a compliment I really do but….
Me: Really. I’ll bring you over and pay for it. It’s only fair, because you’ll be investing your time in the journey
Her: if you’re not serious you wouldnt say that… ok… I’m nervous, I did not expect this and I have very big imagination
Me: Take your time and think about it. You don’t have to answer now I like you, so I want to show you my city and how I live
Her: Nick I appreciate…really you are great guy…but those things, they just dont work that way…..for me not. Maybe one day I will come, with my money, for example student exchange…I dont know You’re confusing me
sorry but I must ask you something… and be honest…do you usually bring girls to your town, girls you met…this is maybe stupid questione…
Me: Not often. But if I like a girl enough, I do. And sometimes I’ll visit her in her country. Long distance relationships are possible in this era of cheap flights
Her: OK.. I will not say that that is inpossible to happened but it is chanse are minimal
Me: unfortunately it’ll have to wait because I’m about to log off and go home. We’ll talk soon
Her: ok we will chat soon bye
Her: I’ll definitely think about this, but I think we’ll both be disappointed. I’d like to see you, and seing London for me is something unrealistic. Its funny but since I met you I automatically memorize all interesting things that has conectione with London. For example- Did you know that ( you certanly did, because you know eveuthing ) London completely burnt in1666 and that was the fault of the baker and his oven !! That fatal year was good in fact, because the plague vanished because of the fire… Ok Im babbling now but I needed a deflection. Good luck tomorow I am shure they will realised you are the best persone for that job
Another upside of these chats is she’s displayed lots of her character. I now know she’s introverted, feminine, passionate, educated and polite. All good signs that she’s worth spending time with. This post was end of August. I might put up material from September to let you all know how it’s progressing deeper.