Close well or close ugly, but CLOSE!
October 5, 2011 11 Comments
When you are beginning daygame it’s good to try to close every set just so you can practice asking a girl for her number. Most guys get tremors in their voice as they reach this moment of truth – the moment when she might reject you and take away that thin sliver of validation you felt from having a conversation with a pretty girl. No matter how good an impression you made on her in the preceding ten minutes, if you tremble and quiver at the moment you commit her she’ll sense that and her hindbrain will scream “no”. Funny when it happens. It sometimes confuses the girl too but she’ll follow her emotions and you’re out of luck.
As you get better you realise it’s best not to try to close every set. Now you are thinking about the care and maintenance of your game and in particular your abundance mentality. If you train your subconscious to try to close every girl then you go into every interaction wanting to take something from her. You subtly shift towards extracting (flaky) numbers when you ought to be aiming to simply create the thoughts and feelings within her that make her want to see you again. You should only close sets where you feel there is a vibe. If there’s no vibe, try to create one. If there’s still no vibe, let her go. This reinforces your subconscious that YOU are the selector and you don’t need any particular girl.
Once your inner game is solid enough that you are carrying a don’t-much-care vibe into sets it’s time to start trying to close the marginal sets again. Your inner game is robust enough to avoid tumbling back into scarcity and the simple fact is you never really know which girls will reply to your texts. Here’s a good example:
I ran my model fairly textbook here, making some adjustments on the fly because of her poor English and time constraint. It never felt particularly strong but there were a couple of flashes from her eyes and smile that made me think it might be on. Nothing conclusive, just flashes. Plus she’s an actress and stunningly beautiful so why let her walk away? If she was a routine seven I wouldn’t have bothered but this is a girl I’d like to spend time with. So I do an ugly close.
Walking away I’m happy with a workman-like performance on a high-value but difficult girl, but I put the odds of her responding to me at 1 in 8. We’ve since swapped three texts each and I think the date odds are now 1 in 3. We’ll see. Certainly worth ten minutes of my time before I moved on to the next girl.
PS - I’m experimenting with blurring the girl’s faces now. I think there’s enough samples on this blog so readers know what I find attractive.