Four days, four 20yr old virgins

April 22, 2011
krauserpua

People tell me my drunk text/chat game is shockingly bad. Perhaps. When I’m drunk I don’t care. I’ve just been out with Burto tonight in Camden and bagged us a pair of Finnish au pairs (video might follow). I’m drunk as I type. Here’s a chat I’m on with the Polish virgin.

This is actually the fourth 20yr old European virgin I’ve been dallying with this week, weird as that sounds. So far it’s been:

"Deflower me!"

  • Monday: second date with the Greek virgin. Facefucking, fingering then LMR. Send her home. She texts me back on Wednesday saying she wants to come visit again before she goes back to her debt-ridden houmous-eating boy-raping shithole country.
  • Tuesday: the Polish virgin tells me she wishes I was popping by her hometown this week so I could fuck her.
  • Wednesday: Lithuanian virgin stops by my house for the BBQ. Under Tony T‘s wise tutelage I run pure comfort and no escalation. This is the long haul.
  • Thursday: Romanian virgin flakes on our date half an hour before the meet. I tell her to fuck off. DD-cup and all.

Anyhow. Thursday night and we’ve rustled up more targets. I come home and start harassing my network. Polish virgin obliges as follows. There’s no analysis. There’s not much to learn here.

Me: blegh!
Her: pff     nice to “see you” too :P:P:P
Me: I’ve been drinking
Her: ojojojojj
Me: that makes no sense, woman
Her: huh? why?
Me: ojojojojblahblahblah
Her: ahah;)    did you drinking alone?!
Me: no way. Been out in Camden with my friend [fat useless Aussie cunt]    causing trouble
Her: not good:P     –> trouble:P
Me: I’m a horrible bastard
Her: no way!     I disagree
Me: heh
Her: why you think, that you’re bastard?
Me: Maybe I need to tie you to my bed and do rough things to you.
Her: do you think that then I will believe you, that you’re bastard? :P     wrong :P
Me: no, not that     I just want to do it to you     :P
Her: really?     hmm     I think that you want to do it with every younger woman :(
Me: nope     you have trouble believing I like you
Her: or…. you want me, because I’m a virgin… and this is something like…hmm…. challenge …?
Me: that’s 10%    the 90% is I like you
Her: thank you:)    it’s so nice:)
Me: Hmmm, I need to be more horrible…… :/    ok, I’ve got it    !     I want to……     …..     wait until you are cooking my dinner….     then I’ll come into the kitchen     pull up your skirt    and fuck you in the ass     until you scream my name    then I’ll go and watch TV
Her: you aren’t like this man…. !    I know that!
Me: blegh
Her: it’s your mask :P
Me: hmmm, so what is the real me?
Her: for me?;)    heheh
Me: yes
Her: uumm…     nice, protective, caring man :)     sweet ;)
Me: oh dear….    NO! I’m tough, rough, bad!
Her: you’re stupid!    you aren’t having to pretend :)
Me: heh     enough talk about me    tell me something
Her: I want to have holidays ! :(
Me: where do you want to go?
Her: hmm    Spain…    or somewhere, where will be warm :) hehe
Me: and what will you wear?
Her: bikini…    or dress
Me: big difference    show me
Her:  [link]

Birds don't get it

Me: 4/10
Her: but it is only a shape    !!    you are too demanding
Me: you mean the dress, or the girl?
Her: dress
Me: ah    If you wear that, I won’t fuck you    I want something sexier    try again
Her: you have imagination, you can imagine what I have under the dress, it is not a problem ;)
Me: that’s too much work    show me a photo
Her: you should try, if you want me :D
Me: hmmmm    I want to put my cock in your mouth    heh! that stopped you!
Her: still…I’m in shock :P    are you being drunk still ? ;)
Me: yes    but what do you think? (about my cock in your mouth)
Her: do you intend to have the wife?
Me: that’s totally NOT an answer
Her: haha ;)    it’s similar:D    because    if you say: yes, and I’ll be her… I’ll say, that it’s ok    (your cock in my mouth) ;)
Me: It’s not so easy to be my wife    This is your list of duties…..    1. suck my cock    2. cook my food    3. iron my shirts    4. clean my house    5. feed my dog    can you do all of these?
Her: you are irritating me :P pfff
Me: I think you are turned on
Her: but..    me?    now?    NO!
Me: finish your sentence
Her: but your list isn’t difficult (apart from point 1)    ;)
Me: ok, we’re getting married    shall we do it in a castle or a church?
Her: but as your wife, I must accept him and it is my duty
Me: +20
Her: church! of course    ;)
Me: You’ll enjoy it, you know. Girls ALWAYS think they won’t. And then they do.    You’ll need a big white dress    and lots of bridesmaids    we’ll have red wine, not white
Her: why big white dress?!    no way!    not big
Me: we’ll have a huge hotel room, with a double bed and a big ivory bath in the middle of the room    the view from the window will be fields, a stream, and the edge of a big forest
Her: in Poland ;)
Me: No. Poland is boring
Her: not true
Me: At the wedding, I’ll tell everyone I love you, that I’ll protect you, and all that stuff    then I’ll pick you up and carry you to my room    bend you over the bath
Her: you couldn’t see, where I live
Me: and fuck you in the ass
Her: you are horrible    but still I think, that you’re nice guy:P
Me: hahahaha, I am SOOOOOO gonna take your virginity
Her: dreamer :P

2 Comments

  1. “Me: hahahaha, I am SOOOOOO gonna take your virginity”

    Hahaha Nice. I lol’d.

  2. One doesn’t need to be drunk in order to act drunk, even a beginner like me knows that. So your bouts of drunkenness are self-indulgence, and a poor fit for your previously stated goal of protecting your higher cognitive functions as you age.

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