The fundamental basis of attraction
April 13, 2011 60 Comments
I’ve finally figured it out. What is the underlying principle from which all attraction springs? When you do something in a set and a girl responds well, what was your behaviour an expression of? What is the single most basic ingredient from which the entire superstructure of successful game rests?
It’s not value
It’s not character
It’s not survival and replication
The fundamental basis of all attraction is the ability to create order out of chaos.
That’s gonna need unpacking.
Nature has a plan. We have evolved into fixed gender roles so that mutually dependent men and women can specialise in skill sets and attributes that combine to create a strong family unit. At a high level of aggregation this is the exchange between a man’s means to provide (caring) and a woman’s gratitude for provision (caring). From this base an entire superstructure was built and we called it civilisation. Feminism and communism have since been wrecking it – the former by undermining the male role and the latter by undermining the family as the basic unit of society. This has created extreme disorder and disfunction.
Humans are designed with an innate desire for pleasure and will move towards it. However pleasure is hedonistic and does not bring satisfaction. Witness your typical witless drug-taker or sex addict. Satisfaction, the grounded feeling in your gut and the tranqility in your mind, comes from removing disorder in your life. This is beyond sexual attraction. Consider the following actions and the satisfaction they create:
- Cleaning your room
- Sorting your dvd collection into alphabetical order
- Finalising your holiday itinerary
- A well cut suit with shirt tucked and tie straight
- Crossing the last item off your shopping list
The world is a disorderly place with multiple competing plants, animals and germs. It is the human capacity to impose it’s own order (i.e. own reality) and make the world bend to his will that gives us the platform to survive and replicate. When a woman attaches herself to a man with a strong reality it is increasing her chances for survival and replication. Dissatisfaction is signalled through disorder. Have you ever walked through a council estate and seen gardens with unkempt hedges and shopping trolleys and mattresses piled up? Have you noticed how people who flit from job to job, town to town, and lack stability are also usually disatisfied? Have you noticed how fat unkempt slobs are also full of neurosis?
Disorder is unattractive. The symptoms of disorder kill attraction.
So how does this relate to pick-up?
Nature evolved women to chase their tails until given direction from men. The natural state of affairs is that men lead and women follow. There is no evolution or development on the female side of our species – they simply reproduce mediocrity every generation because that is sufficient to be fertile. No risks are taken either in their biology or in their behaviour. Human advancement falls to men, whether we like it or not. It is up to men to create order.
Everything you project during your interactions with men and women must convey the ability to create order out of disorder. Examples:
- Unreactivity to shit tests shows a solid reality grounded in order, not a fumbling fleeting weak-kneed character
- Leading a girl shows you have a plan and will order her life
- Strong open body language conveys power and relaxation, signs that a man is comfortable in having imposed himself on the situation
- Intellectual mastery shows the mental tools to understand the world around you, identify the important areas, and organise them the way you want them to be
- Escalation is taking the girl along the human courtship ritual, an ordered sequence of events
- Having your shit together in life through your appearance, grooming, job and schedule are surface markers of an orderly existence she can slot into
- Repelling AMOGs shows your reality is stronger than theirs and thus you are the king in this social order
We currently live in a world of weak men and disorderly women. Men have ruined their ability to create order and thus women screen for societally-bestowed surface markers of order-creation, such as wealth and social status. Women have ruined their submissive nature and allowed free regin to their hedonistic bullshit and thus men screen for the last-gasp surface marker of order – balanced physical appearance. Modern dating advice is based on operating within these disfunctions rather than smashing through them.
* hat-tip to the Principles of Social Competence for putting the last piece in place to boil this down to one element. It’s a great book.