Here’s one from the archives. I opened a Krauser Ten in Zagreb one afternoon and got a flaky-seeming facebook. She accepts the add and I go in light with an exchange of messages until I tell her to get onto chat at about 10pm. This is how it goes.
Note my goal here is simply to accomplish the first stage of Long Game – be the guy she responds to on chat. That’s it. I’d only got a few days left and everything about this girl was screaming “doesn’t put out quickly”. So I stay light and rely on passive DHVs without trying to get a date. So far it’s working because she still chats to me.
Her: I am here
Me: I just had a look at your photos. I’m surprised [begin a qualification routine specific to 9s and 10s]
Me: I expected you would have lots of photos with make-up and fashionable clothes “glamour” photos like most girls do on Facebook [signal I don’t like the “look at me I’m beautiful” girls and that I’m hoping she isn’t one – an easy hoop for her to jump through]
Her: I am not “most girls” [cool, she’s a special snowflake]
Me: I know. Your photos are more natural (that’s a good thing)
Her: thanks..I like the simplicity..elegance..classic.. [takes the compliment well and tells me a bit about her likes]
Me: Your photos look Colombian [stack]
Her: and who are you..what are you doing? [she snips and mild IOI by asking about me]
Me: Work or social? [make her work a little]
Her: both why you observe peple around? [could be a challenge, a query or both]
Me: I used to be in finance, working in an investment bank Facebook chat isn’t so good [DHV. Connection problems in the youth hostel I’m in, I keep going offline and don’t want to lose her through her frustration]
Her: truth it breaks
Me: OK, so…. I observe people around…. I am very interested in psychology and how people think [always a good one with thoughtful girls to draw her into a conversation]
Her: you read about that?
Me: Yeah. I did psychology at University my mother is a psychologist [mild DHV and some rooting of my character]
Her: wow.. it is interesting area for lawyer,too :) criminals..their way of thinking…etc.. [excellent, she has identified a commonality and signalled we could talk alot about this]
Me: What do you read about it? [focus it on her]
Her: nothing serious…I dont have time..my exames are really huge but I always read some articles in magazines and thing a lot about peple behaviour.reasons.. people*
Me: Law is very hard work. I remember my accounting / finance exams were very tough Lots and lots of study after work [DHV on professionalism and some rapport in relating to her life]
Her: finance is just one exeam on my college one of the smaller
Me: What do you do for fun? [screening]
Her: cooking for example.. I like it very mach..it relaxes me.. hanging out with friends..boyfriend I dont have lot of time cinema,football games.. [she tells me]
Me: You’re a good cook????? +10 points ! [reward, try to tease the points game]
Her: well,it is subjective..but I belive what ever you do with love,it must be good [she’s showing some of her true self…]
Me: I like that attitude [… so I reward her for it]
Her: wath else you like?
Me: in life?
Her: generaly speaking
Me: I love kickboxing and wrestling I’m teaching my nephews to do it [DHV – loves children and animals, sign of masculinity]
Her: that is cruel sport [feminine response, mild shit test]
Me: No. It’s very respectful and disciplined [don’t back down, she’s about to be put in her place gently]
Her: yes? [she’s intrigued]
Me: I love the challenge of fighting. I had lots of fights when I lived in Japan I train hard for a fight and get into good condition It feels great to be at 100% fitness Every day is easier, and more fun, you feel more alive The team spirit in the gym is great Then before the fight it takes mental discipline to control the stress the fear the adrenalin Most fights are won and lost BEFORE the fight. They are lost psychologically by the man who cannot control his emotions [DHV, painting an emotionally evocative picture, teaching her something, reframing violence]
Her: all is in your head yes, I understand,but it is horible for your cousines,parents,girlfriend to see all that a talk from that point of view I talk* [she’s softening to relate to me and seek rapport]
Me: I see Boxing isn’t so dangerous. The serious injuries are only in championship fights (for boring technical reasons I can explain if you care) My worst injury was just a missing tooth Not so bad Football is more dangerous [stack]
Her: you dont like football? it is popular in England to,right?
Me: Yes, but it’s dangerous
Her: ok..I agree :) [mild IOI]
Me: Lots of footballers have trouble walking when they are 40 yrs old They can’t play with their children because they have bad knees and ankles It’s a bit sad [implicit DHV is I like to play with children and make a great father]
Her: yes,maybe.. but it is how looks like..stereotipes I guess [accepting my leadership by coyly backing down. Beautifully feminine behaviour – I’m liking her more and more]
Me: yeah What sport do you like?
Her: I played basketball in primary school a short period
Me: Haha, me too
Her: For watching football,handball but only men
Me: yes [three sentences of few words. I’m dialling it down to see if she expands her word count]
Her: kakaa in croatia ćorluka you know him?
Me: I know kakaa not the other guy My team is Newcastle United
Her: hm..but he is in tottenham,how do you dont know?
Me: I have to log off for a few minutes…. [doesn’t hit, time to show non-neediness]
Her: hey are you back?
Me: aha I had to help a friend for a while [tease a DHV]
Her: what he was doing? [she bites]
Me: He got lost in Zagreb with no money and no mobile phone connection Got a call from a random girl he asked for help! “Do you know Jimmy?” [DHV – getting Jambone out of another self-inflicted mess]
Her: haha why you came to croatia? what you know about croatia?
Me: I have a friend here. He’s been inviting me to come for a long time [the only lie of the interaction – it was Jambone’s friend]
Her: “why did you come” is correct,right?
Me: yeah So I brought another friend and we are seeing the city It’s fun
Her: and do you like zagreb?
Me: I think it’s nice, but the rain is a problem Usually I like cities in rain. Santiago is beautiful in rain lots if mist, and dark blue sky [positive vibes, drop in an international man of mystery DHV – I know this girl hasn’t travelled much]
Her: yes,but it is similar to london or not?
Me: No. Very different. London is like Tokyo busy, fast, bustling, exciting so many people everywhere [oh, was that another far flung destination I mentioned?]
Her: zagreb is smaller..but also fast for people who work..you are on vacations..
Me: Mostly I like the little cultural differences Like the sausage shops or blue trams I’m fascinated with travel – learning how other people live [more positive vibes]
Her: it is exciting..but my problem is fear of the unknown.. I dont know..i am always with my family..maybe that is a problem.. [again she’s showing some of her true self – the hopes and fears – this is good rapport]
Me: You’re still young, right? [lead the age-difference problem by setting the frame]
Her: yes.. 22
Me: You’ve still got lots of adventures you can have! I’m gonna have to go soon. I enjoyed this chat. [set myself as knowledgeable about her future. End it on my terms]
Her: me too… good night..
Me: Sleep well
The next two chats are to come….